THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE LOVE. AND A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KKINBERLY49 FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND FRIENDSHIP, LOVE YOU GIRL.
If the first chapter was hard for you, please I beg you don't read this. This may still be tough for those who liked it. I just think every story deserves to be told.
Fitz peeked his head through his mentor's door. "I want one of my students to join your class."
"Straight or gay?" Cyrus asked him.
He shrugged. "I really don't know. I think straight, but then again when it comes to addicts, can one really tell? She can be bisexual for all I know."
"You know I deal with just gay addict, right?" Cyrus asked him.
Fitz smiled and entered Cyrus' office now. "Yes, I know. What is even the difference? A sex addict is a sex addict. I think you should expand your horizon."
Cyrus studied Fitz for a while, then asked. "Why don't you want her?"
Fitz was certain Cyrus was going to be shocked with what he was about to say. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to relapse if she stays." Fitz confessed.
Cyrus was more shocked than Fitz anticipated. "What? Are you being serious? I was very certain your libido is done, over, finish, complete. The fact that you haven't slept with those two hot blonde housekeepers of yours, is something that is not normal, even for a non sex addict."
Fitz threw his head back and burst into laughter. "I know they're dying to have a piece of me, which is why I chose them as my housekeepers, to prove I'm not longer a slave to hot women."
Cyrus was a hundred percent certain Fitz has lost all interest in sex. He has tested Fitz with every method possible, but he didn't stir.
"Man, I was convinced you were impotent. And when you get back with Mellie, you'll realize you're not into sex or marriage, then eventually get a divorce and go on with your work as a sex counselor. You felt this way with an addict?"
Fitz sighed in defeat. "Yes. I've never felt like this with anyone in my lifetime. It's not just because she's pretty and hot. She has something mysteriously dark and unsafe that the spoiled side of me just feels like exploring, but I'm not that guy anymore."
Cyrus thought about that for a while. "I believe this is a real test, to find out if you've actually recovered. I'd advise you to continue with her."
"Nah, I have six months left before Mellie and I get back together. I want to be with my kids. I've missed them so much! I can't mess this up."
"You don't actually care about Mellie, you recognize that, right?" Cy asked, more of a rhetorical inquiry, and then went on. "But what if Mellie's boyfriend, what's his face, Andrew, refuse to stop seeing her after you guys get back together?"
"No, we had a deal. When my two year recovery period is over, Mellie will stop seeing Andrew. I brought all this on myself. I don't require her to wait until my recovery is done before she have sex. I did fuck around behind her back like a dog, you know that, right?"
"What if again, after everything, you're still not sexually attracted to her?"
"I don't want to think about that. I'll try my hardest to be." Fitz replied, but without conviction.
Cyrus sighed deeply. "I don't know how you guys came up with that stupid plan in the first place. If she loved you enough, she'd have waited until when you're in a better place. She drove you into an addict in the first place."
"No, I did this to myself. It was either a divorce or I agree for her to see someone while I get help. This was fair enough. It's fair. I only want to be close to my kids again."
"You know, every time we talked about this you keep saying you just want to be around your kids not Mellie."
"If we get a divorce she'll win full custody of my kids. I don't want that to happen. As long as I'm close to my kids every day, I don't care if she screws Andrew. I've done worse to her."
Cyrus gave up attempting to understand Fitz arrangement with Mellie. "OK, but I want you to keep this new addict of yours. She's here to get help. Make sure she receives it, and don't mess with her mind. This should be your final test. You'll be getting your counselor license soon."
Fitz thought for a while. If he could resist whatever this thing with Olivia was, he was certain he would be a free man indeed. "I think she's aware I'm attracted to her. I'll have to make sure she thinks I'm not, then stay as far as possible away from her. This is going to be strictly student-counselor relationship."
"Do what you have to do to get along. Just make sure she gets the help she need."
XXX
"Were you really flirting with Fitz?" Abby asked Olivia.
"No, I wasn't. Why would you say that?" Olivia asked confused.
"I'm just proud of you?" She mimicked Olivia's response to Fitz. "Please Olivia, he's married too, just like Jake. Don't initiate anything."
"Why do you think I'm trying to initiate something? He's the one thinking about the positions he'll like to use on me."
"No, he isn't. Are you a mind reader now?" Abby questioned. "I know him. He's not like that anymore. The story he recounted about the girls sent to seduce him is genuine. Leo was one of those friends. They're sure he's no longer into sex, at all."
Olivia simply rolled her eyes and sighed. "If only you know."
Abby paused and stared hard at her. "Olivia, just promise me you'll take this SA-meetings seriously."
Olivia raised one hand up. "Abby, I promise."
"I saw you took the number of one of those guys who were around you while I was talking to Fitz. Give me the card."
"Why?" Olivia asked.
"Not everybody in that group really wants to give up your lifestyle. Some are simply looking for people they can take advantage of. And those four guys wanted that."
"You think I don't know that?"
Abby was determined to be hard on her. "I know you do, but it won't stop you from sleeping with any of them. Give me the card.."
Olivia was a little hurt by Abby's remarks, but knew it was the truth. There was one guy among those guys, Frank, who she had already pictured naked, and imagined the size of his penis.
"Fine, take the card." She gave the card to Abby.
"There's another meeting tomorrow, but I won't be going with you."
"No, there's no meeting. Frank told me there will be a meeting a day after tomorrow."
"Who's Frank? Don't even answer that. I really don't want to know. I saw the meeting schedule, there's a session tomorrow. Will you be going or not?" Abby asked sternly.
"Gee, I promise I will be there Abby."
Fitz was in his office, reading a book when Olivia knocked on his door that was already wide open.
Since as it seemed she was the only one there for the meeting. She smiled and tried to be polite, then asked. "Sorry, I thought we were having a session today?"
Fitz shook his head in pessimism. He recognized this strategy all too well, women, pretending as if they needed information, just so they could test to see if he wasn't really into them. "Olivia, come in."
Olivia walked in and shut the door behind her. Fitz read this differently. In his mind, he thought she closed the door in order to test him. Few ladies had tried this move with him before.
Olivia was just about to sit down when Fitz interrupted her.
"Olivia, you're not different from the other sex addicts who have all tried to seduce me before, and you won't be the last. You flirted with me yesterday, don't think I didn't notice." He shook his head in annoyance.
Olivia was surprised at his accusation. "Pardon me?" She demanded.
"You know very well there isn't any session today. This information is available on our website. So, I don't know why you are here."
"Abby told me there's a meeting and…." Olivia tried to explain.
Fitz cut her off. "I'm not attracted to you Olivia. I'm not attracted to anyone, so spare yourself the hassle. You can walk around naked for all I care, I'm not going to be moved."
Olivia was literally speechless. She opened the door to walk out gracefully, but got angry and decided to prove him wrong. She closed the door with the key and turned around to face Fitz.
"What are you doing?" Fitz asked, befuddled.
"You stated you aren't attracted to me or anyone. I desire to prove you wrong." She stooped down and took off her panties.
"Get out my office." Fitz shouted at her.
"Why? Are you scared within some seconds you'll be all over me?" she asked, and took off her dress, she wasn't wearing any bra.
Fitz eyes went quickly in between her legs and then her breasts. Olivia's body heated up from his stare. She could see his veins trying to break free from his skin.
Fitz couldn't face her. He had to turn around. His body began shaking uncontrollably. His hands were in a strong fist, trying to stop his body from vibrating. He started sweating heavily. His cock didn't want to be confined. He was desperately fighting the edge not to reach over and fucked her badly. He has never lost control in front of a naked women like this, yes he normally got an erection in public when he was a hardcore addict, but not like this. He couldn't recall the last time he was turned on. "Get. Out. Of. My. Office. " Fitz said through his teeth, still not facing her.
"Why don't you want to look at me? I thought you weren't moved by those ladies your friends sent to your room. They were grinding, sucking and touching you, right? Look at me to prove you're a free man." Olivia dared him.
Fitz couldn't take the pain he was going through. His penis was on fire. He turned around angrily to force Olivia out of his office, but saw her standing with one leg, and the other leg on top of a chair so he could see her center.
Fitz, she has no power over you. You can do this. You're no longer a slave to sex. Fitz tried to talk himself out of it, but his eyes were focus on Olivia's punani. He literally saw Olivia's vagina twitched, and the needs of his flesh intensified the more. He came to the conclusion the only way not to reach for her was to touch himself. He fumbled with his belt for a while, before pulling his trouser down and started stroking himself, looking at Olivia's body.
Olivia just practically stood there with open mouth, watching him touch himself. She could see Fitz was using all his retrain not to walk over and pounced on her. He masturbated and Olivia watched in amazement. Olivia could feel her fluid running down her legs.
The whole incident was non-contact, but it was one of the most erotic moments of their lives. Fitz looked Olivia right in the eye while he masturbated, and the feeling was downright exhibitionism for both of them.
As Fitz was reaching climax, Olivia came to her senses on what she was doing to him. This is a man who has been sex and masturbation free for a year and a half, and I'm trying to get him back to the dark side? The same thought seemed to be going through Fitz's head too. He could feel himself falling back to the dark side and it wasn't pretty.
He came, and spilled his seeds all over his desk. Olivia saw the look of defeat, embarrassment and disgust all on Fitz's face. She was very accustomed to those feelings, after going days without sex, thinking she was heading somewhere, thinking she could do without it, only for her flesh to prove her wrong.
Fitz buried his head down on his desk, weeping. He felt weak, ashamed, and guilty at the same time because it felt so good. He couldn't look at Olivia. He prayed she shouldn't say anything and just leave.
Olivia dressed up quickly with tears running down her face and ran out of Fitz's office without her panties. She was certain it wouldn't be long before Fitz starts sleeping around again.
XXX
Olivia's car was in the indoor parking lot. She went to it, and laid her head on top of it, breathing and crying heavily.
Frank, who gave Olivia his number during the last session approached her. "Here, take this." He gave her a tissue for her to clean her face.
Olivia took the tissue, and tried to clean her face.
"Let me help you." Frank took the tissue back from Olivia, wiping her face. "Don't worry. I know what will make you feel better." Frank said.
Olivia was already a goner from that little affection Frank just showed her. He started kissing Olivia's neck, kneading her breasts. He slipped his fingers between Olivia's legs that were still very wet from Fitz's masturbation session and said, "Wow, so fast, you're already wet for me?" He lifted Olivia's dress above her waist, and went down on his knees.
Olivia saw Fitz walking toward Frank and herself before Fitz laid eyes on them. Fitz froze for some seconds when he saw what Frank was doing to Olivia. An immediate feeling of jealousy was building inside him. He wanted to knock Frank over for taking advantage of Olivia, but then, remembered what Olivia did in his office some few minutes ago. A look of dismay and disgust spread all over his face. Olivia couldn't stand that look from Fitz. She looked down and saw Frank still tapping water from her fountain. She pushed Frank away from her and got into her car, speeding away.
XXX
Olivia couldn't sleep for the whole night. The look on Fitz's face in his office and in the parking lot kept haunting her. She hated herself for what he did to him. She wondered what Fitz could be doing at this moment. She prayed and begged God for Fitz not to fall back to his old habits.
Fitz went home that day and saw his two hot housekeepers making out in his pool. He got rid of his clothes and joined them. And they fucked their brains out.
Olivia went to work the next day and dreaded her interaction with Abby. This was what she wanted to avoid all along, letting down Abby.
When she saw Abby, all Abby wanted to talk about was the session yesterday. "Olivia how was the meeting yesterday?" Abby asked.
Olivia couldn't bring herself to look at her. She concentrated on something irrelevant on her computer. "There wasn't any session. I went and nobody was there."
"How come? This is the schedule" Abby went through the website, and then saw there wasn't any session yesterday. "I'm sorry. The session is today, not yesterday. You should be the one checking these matters out."
"I'll not be able to make it today." Olivia was barely audible.
"Why not?" Abby asked, growing annoyed.
"Because…"
Jake interrupted Olivia quickly. "Olivia, I need you in my office now."
Abby rolled her eyes dramatically and whispered. "What does he want? Olivia, please don't give in, please. You can do this."
Olivia turned and faced Abby angrily. "I won't." She said firmly.
XXX
Olivia entered Jake's office and he asked her to close the door. But she stood at the door, very certain what he wanted.
"I said close the door." Jake repeated.
I'm not going to have sex with him. I'm not going to have sex with him. Olivia repeated within her. "I won't close the door. What do you want?" Olivia asked.
"What I always want." Jake answered.
"I don't do that anymore. I'm now seeing a therapist."
Jake chuckled dryly. He knew she was an addict. "Since when?" He asked, walking toward Olivia.
"Jake, I'm serious." Please don't have sex with him Olivia, be strong. She continued trying to talk herself out.
Jake got close to her and locked the door. "Let's see how serious you are." He said and flipped Olivia over so she was bending down on his desk. He unzipped his trouser as he pushed Olivia's skirt up. He slapped Olivia's ass, knowing it will turn her on. "I know you love this shit." Jake stated.
Jake pushed his way into Olivia, and she dug her nails into his desk not ready for his entry. Olivia groaned in pain as he moved in and out of her. And just like when she was raped at sixteen, the pain was gone after a while. "Harder, please don't stop." She cried out.
Jake smiled and came inside of her. "This is who you are Olivia. You can't do without this." Jake said huskily.
The remorse kicked in. Olivia arranged her dress quickly and rushed out of Jake's office, heading to the washroom, to continue with her life's routine.
Abby saw her coming out of Jake's office, but didn't bother to check on her this time around.
The problem with Olivia was, she could never say no to sex, but she really wished she could.
XXX
After Olivia completed her life's routine in the washroom, she got back to her desk.
"Are you going to the session today or not?" Abby asked with a straight face.
"What's the point?" Olivia asked disappointingly. "You know I just fucked Jake not long ago, right?"
"No, Jake 'fucked' you. The better word is, 'raped' you. But the point is, our friendship is hanging on whether you're taking a step to help yourself or not. I really don't care you had sex with Jake or let him raped you. You just started the program. I don't expect you to get over your bad habits overnight. You.…."
Olivia cut her off quickly. "I don't think Fitz….." She couldn't get herself to complete her sentence
"You don't think Fitz what?"
"I don't think he likes me."
"Olivia, I'm done with you. First, you said he can't wait to fuck you, now you don't think he likes you? You keep looking for excuses why you shouldn't help yourself. I can't push you anymore."
"Please go with me. Just for today" Olivia begged, just to please Abby.
Abby breathed deeply and calmed herself. "You know I won't be going with you all the time, right?"
"I know." She answered.
Abby and Olivia went early for the meeting. Frank, who went down on Olivia in the parking lot approached them.
"You tasted so good yesterday." He said to Olivia.
"Thanks." Olivia replied, smiling.
"Olivia, are you fucking kidding me?" Abby called out.
Before Olivia could say anything, she saw Fitz entering the room.
Fitz looked mess up and disheveled. Everyone was surprised at his appearance. Olivia hoped she wasn't the reason for his delirium. Fitz came along with his one and a half year sober chip.
Abby whispered to Olivia. "What is wrong with him?"
Olivia shrugged innocently.
Fitz ordered everyone to sit down, and they all obeyed quietly. "So guys, I have a confession to make." Fitz's compunction was obvious to everyone.
God, please, no, Abby is going to hate me forever. Olivia bowed down her head, scared of what Fitz was about to say.
"I'm sorry. I'll have to begin my recovery process all over again. I slept with…."
"NO. Man, no. No. C'mon. Dude!" The group shouted their disappointed at Fitz.
"How come?" Abby asked, shocked, now certain Olivia has no chance of recovery.
"Ask your friend Olivia." Fitz said to Abby.
Abby and everyone looked at Olivia, who was somehow out of space. "Olivia, what is Fitz talking about?" Abby asked angrily.
Olivia couldn't respond or even looked at them. Her head was still bowed down.
Fitz decided to continue. "I've slept with my two hot housekeeper and three prostitutes as of now."
Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. The tears started falling without warning. She was more than disappointed in herself.
Frank smiled and asked Fitz. "After almost two years of no sex. How was it?"
Another addict poked him. "Dude! Not cool."
Fitz felt like punching Frank in the face, not because of what he said, but because he went down on Olivia in the parking lot. He then looked at Olivia with disdain written all over his face. "Olivia, I'm sure you're happy now that you've proved your point. Here is your pantie you left in my office." He threw the panties at her.
"What did she do?" Abby asked Fitz. The group repeated Abby's question to Fitz.
"She came to my office to mocked the story I told about the ladies sent by my friends to seduce me. She then undressed herself to prove she can turn me on."
Abby got up and went ballistic on Olivia. "I'm done with you. Because I said he doesn't want to fuck you, you then decide to do this, for what profit? You know what, I don't even want to know, go and fuck the whole group for all I care. I'm done with you. Don't talk to me when you see me at the office. And keep fucking Jake too. No wonder you don't have any friends, because all you're good at is fucking around. If you want to stay a whore for the rest of your life, go ahead and do it."
Abby has never called Olivia a whore, ever. Those words coming out from Abby's mouth were more than painful. Olivia couldn't breathe for some seconds. She got up, picked up the panties Fitz threw at her and literally ran out of the room.
Immediately as Olivia picked up her panties and ran out of the room, Fitz regretted his actions of publicly humiliating her. He knew better than publicly shaming an addict. And Abby took things too far. "I'm sorry guys. Abby, I'm sorry. My handling of this is wrong. Its plain wrong. I should've explained what happened first."
"What do you mean?" Abby asked.
"Olivia came to my office yesterday, saying there was a session, which we all knew there wasn't. I accused her for using that as an excuse to make a pass at me."
"I forced her to come yesterday. I thought there was a class." Abby said to Fitz.
Fitz's heart shattered a little bit, because he didn't let Olivia explained yesterday. He went along with his accounts. "I told her I know she was here to seduce me, and that I'm not attracted to her. It was a lie because I am, and it is scaring the hell out of me. I've never felt such a level of attraction with anyone in my life, not even when I was a hardcore addict. She got mad at my accusation and took off her dress to prove I'm attracted to her. We didn't have sex, but I got an erection and masturbated in front of her. I was then mad at myself for not being able to contain myself, my reason for sleeping with those women." Fitz bowed his head, ashamed. "I owe her an apology."
"Oh God, I have to go after her." Abby said, and left.
Frank, was like, "man, I thought her wetness in the parking lot was all my doing. Not knowing I was licking but your leftovers…."
"Get out of my class." Fitz shouted at Frank.
XXX
How Olivia made it to her apartment was something she could never explain. She slapped herself in the face. She insulted herself and called herself a whore that no one wanted but to fuck. She said no wonder her own parents doesn't want anything to do with her. She kicked things and scattered things inside her apartment. Her apartment became a complete mess. She cried until she couldn't cry any longer.
Olivia was worn out, exhausted, and fatigued of her miserable life. She looked around her scattered apartment, then laid eyes on a blade not far away from her. She stared at the blade for a while. "It's not like anyone would miss me." She stated out loud to herself, then picked up the blade and slit her wrist deep down. She saw the amount of blood oozing out from her wrist and got scared. She attempted to halt the hemorrhage. But before she could get something to tie her wrist with, she collapsed.
I know it is a little too dark, but after darkness comes something else.
Someone said I shouldn't let Olivia fall back to her habit, but the only way for anyone one to understand the impact of her struggles is to show it. I hate how on scandal they don't get to show Olivia's pain, but just make a little statement about it in a monologue. And we the fans are left to dissect it and come out with our own conclusions, whilst other characters are fully dissected for viewers to see. I think this is why most people do not sympathize with her on the show.
Sex addiction is a scary topic. I completely understand if anyone doesn't want to continue with this story.
"What sets sex addiction apart from other addictions and makes it so persistent is that the subject of sex touches on our innermost unconscious wishes and fears, our sense of self, our very identity." Dorothy C. Hayden, LCSW
