"At what age did you lose your virginity?"

"16."

"Do you have a clear image of the experience? Do you remember the details of it?"

"Every. Tiny. Piece."

"How was it? Did you enjoy the experience?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You just said you remember every tiny piece of it. So, you either liked it or you didn't. Which one is it?"

"I don't know."

"Did you have an orgasm?"

"Yes." Olivia paused and stared at whoever was talking to her for some time, then asked. "Does this mean I liked it?"

"I think so." The person said.

Olivia shrugged indifferently. "I guess I liked it then. I moved to his rhythm, wrapped my legs around him, asked him to go harder and not to stop, and then I had an orgasm." She was silent for a while, then added. "Why would I do all that if I didn't like it? I need answers to this."

"You think you didn't like it?"

Olivia stared straight into the eyes of the person talking to her. "What's the easiest way to die?"

"Excuse me?"

She sighed and looked away. "Oh, nothing. Continue with your questions." Wrap your legs around me. Wrap your legs around me. Had it been I didn't like it, I don't think I would've had an orgasm. Wrap your legs around me. Wrap your legs around me. Olivia's brain wouldn't shut up.


On the other side of town, Fitz was restless. He was tossing and turning in his bed. He couldn't quit thinking about Olivia. The feeling was driving him crazy. He has to apologize to her. He knew that, but hated her at the same time. He got up and tried to masturbate, but couldn't. He struggled with his dick for a little while before giving up.

"I know it's late, but I need you here." Fitz made a phone call to his mentor.

Within some minutes Cyrus was at his doorway. He wouldn't wait for Fitz to offer him a seat. "Why didn't you tell me about your situation? I had to find out from Frank."

"I was angry at you." Fitz said and made them a drink.

"Why?" Cyrus asked, confused.

"I told you I didn't want her in my class, but you needed to test me, as if I haven't been tested enough." Fitz stated, then offered Cyrus a drink

Cyrus took the glass, asking. "Why did you have sex with those women and not her when you were dying too? Have you thought about that?"

"Don't you dare psychoanalyze me right now? I just need a friend at the moment not a psychologist." He said, a little harsher than intended.

"Sorry, how are you doing?"

Fitz calmed down and sighed. "I don't know. I can't stop thinking about her. I humiliated her in front of everyone, which I feel bad about, but I hate her at the same time for consuming my every thought. I….."

Cyrus interjected. "Frank told me you humiliated her. You should know better than to publicly humiliate a sex addict or anyone for that matter."

Fitz sighed again and settled on his couch. "I know. I really don't know what came over me. I guess I was just too mad for sleeping with those women, when all I wanted to do was to hear her scream my name instead."

"You really have it bad for her, don't you?" Cyrus asked.

"You have no idea. And the worst part of it all is I don't even know her." Fitz said, frustratingly.

"Frank told me you threw her panties at her."

Fitz lifted both hands up."Would you, for God's sake, lay off telling me what Frank told you? I can't stand that guy."

"And why is that?"

"He went down on Oliv…. Never mind"

Cyrus hid a smile behind his glass. "I know you don't want me to psychoanalyze you, but I have to do it a little."

"What?" Fitz asked, already irritated.

"What was going through your head when you were having sex with those women?"

Fitz hesitated for a moment, then gave up. "She was."

"Who was?"

"For Christ's sake, must I spell it out? Olivia."

"And why was she in your mind?"

Fitz looked at Cyrus like Cyrus was a little insane. "How am I supposed to know, aren't you the psychologist? You tell me."

"I can't tell you anything. You have to come up with your own understanding."

Fitz shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He took a sip of his drink.

"Have you fucked or thought of fucking your hot housekeepers again?"

"I sent them packing already." Fitz answered nonchalantly.

"Because you thought you'd relapse again?"

He eyed Cyrus angrily and answered a little bit up on his voice. "No, because they disgust me."

"Why is that?" Cyrus wouldn't stop with his questioning.

Fitz could now see Cyrus was trying to press his buttons purposely. "Would you stop now? I don't want to speak about it anymore."

"No, I won't stop. Have you thought of fucking anyone since after your relapsed?"

Fitz got tired fighting Cyrus questions and decided to just calm down and answered him honestly. "Yes, I've been thinking about making love to Olivia. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Interesting." Cyrus said, and took a sip of his drink.

Fitz's irritation with Cyrus was back again. "Are you kidding me? What is interesting about that?"

Cyrus smiled faintly. "I specifically used the word 'fucking' but you said making love. Addicts do not make love, they fuck. Have you masturbated since after your relapsed?" He continued with another question.

Fitz thought of what Cyrus just said, about fucking and making love, then brushed it off quickly. He sipped on his drink again. "I tried to masturbate earlier, but I couldn't get a hard on."

Cyrus shook his head. "I want you to go out to a bar or club, anywhere, whenever you have the time with the intention of having sex." Cyrus instructed Fitz.

Fitz put down his drink. "Are you kidding me? Don't you know I relapse not long ago? In fact, leave my house." He stood up from his seat. "I don't know who gave you a psychology degree in the first place." He shook his head and went to his door, so Cyrus could take a cue. "I need to try and get some rest. I don't know why I even called you in the first place, you are of no help.


"It was three weeks before my 17th birthday, and in a week I will be graduating from high school. I had been made a valedictorian. I was chosen over Chao and for this, I was the happiest person in the world. Not just because I hated Chao with fierce passion, but also because I wanted someone's approval. Even though I didn't like her, I wanted her to be proud of me. It was always about her, my mom. The fact that Chao, was just a collateral damage to gain her approval was a plus."

"Tell me about Chao."

"Chao was my best friend, or so I believed. We knew each other since 3rd grade. We studied together. Sometimes in his house and sometimes in my house. We were the brightest in our class. Many people thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend just like kids called it in those days, but we weren't.

Chao attitude toward me changed when Sam asked me out. Sam was a football player. Even though I said no to Sam; Chao was mad at me, and up till today, I still don't know why. I got sick of him too when he tore up a painting I made for my mom and dad. He knew how long I had been working on it, but didn't care.

Chao normally would see the number of men my mom brought home when we were studying. He then told Sam about it, and since I rejected Sam he was already mad at me too. So, they both spread rumors of my mom sleeping around with everyone in my school. Sam and Chao became best friends and made me their laughing stock any time they felt like it.

That's how Chao and I became the worst enemies and rival. Hence the fact that I was a valedictorian over Chao was everything to me."

"You said you paint and draw?"

"I loved painting and drawing, but not anymore. I used to paint and draw in our basement. It was my safe haven. The basement I mean. I felt calmer down there. I could draw or paint effortlessly down there. My mom didn't like this hobby of mine. She would tell me my father won't be in our lives forever. She wanted me to concentrate on something financially stable. I thought she meant my dad may die one day in a car or plane accident due to his constant traveling; not knowing it was because my dad had a stable family elsewhere."

"Tell me about the day."

"As I mentioned earlier, I've just been made a valedictorian. So, I couldn't contain my excitement. My mom was the only one I wanted to share the news with. My dad was never home anyways. Even though I recognized my mom wouldn't give a damn about it, I still wanted to share the good news with her.

I got into our house and shouted for her, but she didn't answer. I then ran upstairs to her room. I saw her on her knees giving blow job to one guy and another guy was holding her ass, jamming into it.

I froze, and just stood there staring at them. The guy on my mother's ass saw me and smiled. "I think your daughter is into us. Can she join us?" The guy said to my mom.

My mom then noticed my presence. "What are you doing? Get the fuck out." She shouted at me.

I then ran out of her room to my safe haven, the basement. I looked at my drawing and painting hard, trying to erase what I just saw, but couldn't. I tried to draw or paint something, anything, but nothing came into my head. I was completely blank. And that has never happened to me before.

"Did your mom addressed what you saw?"

"My mom was smoking in the kitchen when I left the basement to get something to eat. I saw her and froze again. Since I didn't knock before entering her room, I was afraid of what she was going to do. In our house, it was spared the rod and spoil the child. I wouldn't call it abuse though. To my greatest surprise she didn't do anything to me. Rather, she asked me what I wanted to tell her that I couldn't knock. I told her I've been made the valedictorian. "I'm proud of you baby" was all she said. She then left the kitchen without addressing what I saw.


After Cyrus left Fitz tried to sleep, but to no avail. The images of Olivia crying and running out of his class wouldn't let him close his eyes. He called Abby to find out if she'd spoken to Olivia.

Abby informed him she was at the hospital with Olivia. "What happened?" Fitz asked her.

"She tried to kill herself." Abby replied.

Fitz dropped his phone, and his eyes went totally dark. He couldn't tell how long his brain went off. When he came back to his senses he called Abby again, and asked her what hospital. Abby told him and he rushed to the hospital.

Fitz met an exhausted Abby. From Abby's eyes, Fitz could tell she had been weeping. Fitz held her and hugged her tight.

Abby didn't know how tired she was until Fitz hugged her.

"She tried to commit suicide?" Fitz asked with Abby still in his embrace.

"Yes." Abby answered and released herself from him. She then started crying again.

Fitz held her once more. "How long have you been here?

"Ten to eleven hours now."

"How is she doing?"

"She lost a lot of blood. She's till unconscious. The doctor said she's in a light coma, but would be getting up soon. I believe something is wrong, because they said she was supposed to be conscious like 7 hours ago. I guess I didn't get to her apartment on time." Abby answered with tears filled eyes.

Fitz ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I did this to her. I never should've humiliated her."

"No, I did this." Abby said and the tears started coming down in full strength. "I didn't even let her explain what happened between you two. I simply went ballistic on her. I'm the only person she's got. I said all those horrible things to her. I called her a whore. She's not a bad person at all. She's actually the nicest person ever. She's very loving and caring. Always putting others first before herself. She never says no to anyone. I reckon it's one of the reasons she never says no to sex too. I don't care if she's a sex addict. I just want her to get up now. I promise I'll never judge her ever again. I just want my best friend back." Abby cried out.

Tears ran down on Fitz's face as he consoled Abby. "What about her family? Doesn't she have anyone here?"

"She doesn't like to talk about them. She said there's nothing to talk about."

Fitz could see how tired Abby was. "Abby, you look tired, go home and get some rest. I'll be here with her."

"No, I can't leave her. She needs me."

"You need rest."

"I'm fine."

From Abby's appearance, Fitz could tell it was only a matter of time before the exhaustion got the best of her. "Abby, I promise I'll take care of her, beside there's nothing we can do now."

"Fitz, I'm not leaving."

Fitz gave up, but tried a compromise. "OK, fine, then how about you look for somewhere here to lay your head for a few minutes."

"Okay, I can do that. Let me tell Olivia first." She walked in the direction of Olivia's room, then stop and turned around. "Would you like to see her and …?"

"Yes, thank you." Fitz answered quickly before Abby could finish her sentence.

Abby and Fitz entered Olivia's room, Fitz saw the way Olivia was tie down on the bed. "She's in a coma, why is she tied down like a criminal?"

"The doctor says she could hurt herself again if she wakes up when no one is around." Abby answered.

"But they don't need to tie her down. Where is the doctor?" Fitz shouted, seeing how harmless Olivia looked.

The doctor was already in his way to check on Olivia. "Yes, here is the doctor. I'm the doctor, can I help you?"

"Why is she tied down like a criminal? You don't need to do that. Are you sure she intentionally wanted to hurt herself? You have to untie her now." Fitz shouted at the doctor.

"And what are you to her?" The doctor asked Fitz.

"Uh… uh…" Fitz stutter.

"He's a friend, just like me." Abby answered.

"Hello friend." The doctor said to Fitz and continued. "This is not the first time your friend tried this. I have her medical record. She really wants to die and as a friend, I think this is something you're supposed to know?"

Fitz looked at Abby. "Abby?"

"Yes, this is the second time. She said it was a mistake, she didn't mean to swallow the pills." Abby recalled the day Jake and herself found Olivia passed out after their office end of year party.

The doctor shook his head and asked Abby. "And you believed her?"

Fitz begged the doctor. "Please just untie her. I won't leave her room until she gets up.?"

"Sorry, can't do." The doctor said and started his checkup on Olivia.


Events, thoughts, and images were still going through Olivia's brain as she laid on the hospital bed in a light coma.

"You've been avoiding my questions. Just tell me about your first sexual encounter"

"OK, I was standing in front of my drawing board in the basement trying to draw. I hadn't drawn or painted in weeks. Every time I tried I ended up wasting paper and inks.

I placed my pencil on my drawing board this particular day, I was determined to draw anything that popped into my mind. Images just kept floating into my brain and I kept on drawing. By the time I finished, I had drawn my mom and those two guys in her room, in the exact position I saw them. I was then startled by a voice behind me.

"Wow, you're good." The voice said.

When I turned around, I saw the guy who asked my mom whether I could join them. "What are you doing here? This basement is out of bound." I said to him.

"From what you've just drawn, the basement should definitely be out of bound." The guy replied and walked closer to me.

"What are you doing down here?" I nervously asked again.

"Your mom said I'd find you here. I'm to pick up something for her." The guy looked at my drawing more closely. "Damn, I look good in this. You are one talented girl." He said and touched his crotch.

My eyes followed his hand, and I saw how erected he was.

"Look what you've done." He smiled at me.

I begged him to leave "Please leave."

"Why should I do that?" He questioned me.

"Then I'll leave." I said to him, walking to the door.

He ran in front of me and blocked my path. "You can't leave me in this state. You did this. You have to fix this now."

I screamed at him, almost in tears. "Get out of my way. I'm going to tell my mom."

"As if she cares." He said to me.

I tried to push past him, but he pinned me on the floor. "Let me go." I shouted. He covered my mouth with his palm, and I bit it very hard.

He slapped my face almost with the same force that I bit him with. It was painful. I couldn't feel my face or hear anything for some minutes, then I heard him. "Look what you've done. You made me hit you. I'm sorry." He apologized, at the same time, yanking my skirt and panties out of me. He kissed me hard on my lips. I could taste my blood from the bruises he created with his teeth. He then pushed his way into me and I screamed bloody murder. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I screamed out loud and struggled to get up. "Don't make me slap you again. Just be still and you're going to like it." He said with a chilling voice. I struggled to move again. He then pushed deeper inside of me, and I screamed louder hoping someone could hear me. "You see, if you keep fighting you're going to feel the pain. Stay put and I'll be gentle." I didn't have a choice but to comply. And he was gentle. He moved gently in and out of me while talking to me. "Don't worry, everything will be OK. You're a very pretty girl, you should know this. You can get any man to do whatever you want if you play your cards right. You feel so good around me." He said.

I was now calmer, and the fierce pain wasn't there. After a while, I could feel my body moving involuntarily to his rhythm. "You see, is it painful?" He asked me, and I shook my head, implying no. "Good, now wrap your legs around me. I said wrap your legs around me." He repeated, but my legs were too heavy to get up. "Don't make me repeat myself." He said firmly, and all of a sudden, my legs became lighter, and I wrapped my legs around him. I could feel the pleasure building up from my toes. I held his ass with both hands and I screamed, "harder, please, don't stop." Within some few seconds, we both came. I had an orgasm."

"I'm very sorry." The person talking to Olivia said.

"You don't have to be sorry." Olivia replied. "I moved to his rhythm. I wrapped my legs around him. I asked him to go harder, for him not to stop, and I had an orgasm. I really didn't know whether I liked it until today. You said since as I had an orgasm, it meant I liked it. So, to answer your second question whether my first sexual experience was nice. I'll say it was enjoyable at the end."

"I'm truly sorry."

"Can I go now?" Olivia asked.

"Is there any question you'd like to ask me?"

"Yes." She answered.


The doctor turned down Fitz's plea to untie Olivia.

Abby was resting somewhere in the hospital.

Fitz was alone with Olivia, just staring at her, telling her he was sorry for humiliating her. "I'm very sorry for what I did to you." Fitz said and tears ran down his face. "Just get up. Please get up." He touched Olivia's face. "I beg of you, get up. I promise if you do, I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure you get better, to see you're proud of yourself." Fitz wiped the tears on his cheeks, and continued. "I don't know the demon you're struggling with inside, but I promise to help you fight it." He paused again, and was quiet for a while. He kissed Olivia's palm, and felt one magnetic force between them, he shivered within him, then said. "I don't know what this fire, this electric force, this pull is toward you, and I don't even want to know. I just want you to get up and give yourself another chance. Please get up"

"Why did she hit me?" Olivia asked, with her eyes still close, barely unconscious.

"Olivia?" Fitz called out.

"It wasn't my fault." Olivia continued.

"Olivia? Doctor!" Fitz shouted

"I told her what he did to me, but she blamed me and hit me. It wasn't my intention to have sex with him. I told her I was sorry, but she said I was the reason for her distress. She said I ruined her life. That my dad hates her because of me."

"Doctor!" Fitz shouted loudly.

The Doctor finally came, and calmed down Olivia. She regained consciousness and looked around, then saw Fitz. "Fitz?"

"Yes, Olivia, are you OK?" Fitz shifted closer to her.

"I'm truly sorry for what I did to you." Olivia said, barely audible.

"No, I'm sorry. I did this. I'm the reason you're on this hospital bed."

Olivia then realized she was at the hospital. She attempted to get up, but the doctor asked her to stay put. She wanted to touch her face, but her hands were retrained. She immediately had a severe panic attack, she started shouting and crying. "Why am I tied down? Why am I tied down? Untie me please, please untie me." She screamed out. "Doctor, please untie me." She looked at Fitz. "Fitz I'm sorry for what I did to you. I didn't mean to! Please untie me. Tell him to untie me." She cried out some more.

Fitz was at her side trying to calm her down. He looked at the doctor and shouted through his teeth. "You better untie her or I'm going to do it myself."

"You have to promise you won't hurt yourself again." The doctor said to Olivia.

"I promise." "She promised." Olivia and Fitz said in union. The doctor started untying her. But he was wasting too much time. Fitz had to assist him.

After Olivia was completely untied, she hugged Fitz, and Fitz held her tight. "I got you." He said to her. "You're not alone. I got you."

A/N: Yes, Dra2263, I had your idea in mind when I started the first chapter. I was reluctant to write such a topic at first, but my brain wouldn't shut up about it, I decided to give in, then I started thinking and researching about the premises of the story. The idea you gave was among some of the ideas that got me excited to start typing. So, thank you for bringing that up.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I AM LITTLE SCARED OF THIS CHAPTER.