Olivia swallowed her fear and booked into the Beene center. She dredged any interaction with Fitz and Chao. Fitz, because she could tell they both wanted each other badly, which would mess up her recovery process, and Chao, just due to the fact that he brought back bad memories from the past.

Cyrus personally emphasized that Fitz and Chao stay away from Olivia while she was there. "I want you two to stay away from her. She's not going to forgive you easily." Cyrus said to Chao. Then turned to Fitz. "And she shouldn't be around someone who she damn well knows is dying to have sex with her. I don't want that around her here."

Fitz thought Cyrus was little insane for suggesting that. "I can't do that. That's not adequate grounds for me to stay away from her. Why should I do that?" He asked, a little perplexed.

"Yes, you can, and you're going to stay away from her." Cyrus insisted.

"No, I won't." Fitz firmly refused.

"Do you want her to get better?"

"Yes." Fitz answered.

"Then you'll stay away from her. That's an order." Cyrus warned Fitz.

But Fitz wouldn't go down without a fight. "Since I'm not going to start my recovery process all over, thanks to your test that I passed with flying colors, which means I have to continue with my classes and she needs to pass through my class. How is that going to work out?" He challenged.

"She's going to attend your classes, but no one on one lesson with either of you. I'd be her personal therapist because she means too much to you two, I'd be the one to guide and monitor her not you two."

Chao decided to change the topic. "I can't believe her life turned out like that. She was brilliant and focused. We were best friends, and at some point big competitors. The number of guys who wanted her was outrageous to tell you the truth. The fact that she didn't care or used that to her advantage was something I liked and hated about her. "

"I know you guys were teenagers, but what you did to her was very mean." Cyrus said to the husband.

"I know. I looked for her some years back, but couldn't find her. I saw her mom in jail when I went to counsel some prisoners two years ago. Her mom was actually hiding from me."

"What crime did her mom commit?" Fitz asked.

"I have no idea." Chao replied.

"Abby told me she doesn't like to talk about her family. That there's nothing to talk about."

"Her father had a stable family elsewhere and they were the other family. Her mom was the worst. I think she got this her addictive attribute from her mother. Her mother could change guys like boxers. I wonder if she's out of jail yet. Hmm, I'm going to find out." Chao said.

Fitz recalled what Olivia said before she regained consciousness at the hospital. "I can remember precisely what she said before she got up from coma. She started with 'Why did she hit me' Then she continued with, 'it wasn't my fault. I told her what he did to me, but she blamed me and hit me. It wasn't my intention to have sex with him. I told her I was sorry, but she said I was the reason for her distress. She said I ruined her life. That my dad hates her because of me.' That's exactly what Olivia said before she got up. Perhaps she was talking about her mom. I wonder what went amiss in her life." Fitz wondered.

"Wow, if she really said that, then I think it was about her mom. Maybe she had sex with one of her mom's boyfriends. But Olivia wasn't the type to do something like that." Chao paused before adding. "Well, we don't know when that happened."

Cyrus rolled his eyes at their analysis. "Maybe what she said didn't mean anything."

Chao shrugged. "I hope she forgives me soon. We have a lot to catch up to."


To say Olivia was going through sex withdrawal was an understatement. Her physical, emotional, and mental discomfort was on high alert. She was agitated, and beginning to lose interest in life. The numb feeling was crawling back into her with intensity. She thought of calling Jake or anyone who could bring her out of her misery but resisted the urge.

The center normally held join meeting with patients and counselors. Where all the counselors were to interact with the addicts for them to speak about their battles so that the center would know the right counselor or therapist to assign to the addict. Fitz and Chao were among the counselors. Cyrus went early to introduce himself to Olivia before the session started.

"Hello, I'm Cyrus."

"Hello, I've heard about you. I'm Olivia."

Cyrus wanted to make some points clear. "My husband is Chao."

"So?" Olivia asked, confused and annoyed.

"He's sorry for what he did to you."

"I'm not here for that. I'm here to get the help I require. I have no problem with you being married to a douch…. Sorry." Olivia apologized.

"It's okay, he was a douchbag. Nice meeting you Olivia. I promise you're coming out of this place victorious." Cyrus smiled sweetly at her.

Olivia smiled dryly back and looked for where to sit. One little cute boy of about 16 years of age came and sat next to her. The young boy looked at her and smiled. "Wassup, you are very beautiful." He said to Olivia.

Olivia stared at the kid for a while before whispering. "What are you doing here? Aren't you too young to be going through something like this?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I inherited it from my dad or something. He was a professional in this. I can teach you a thing or two if you let me." He placed his hand on Olivia's thigh.

Olivia thanked her God she has never been into little kids because the little boy seemed like he could back up his statement with experimental validation. And the fact that she has been horny all day would've made it easy for that to happen. She pushed his hand away from her thigh and changed her seat.

Cyrus started by introducing all the counselors and therapist to the patients. Olivia did her best not to make eye contact with Fitz and Chao. She was wondering why Fitz was part of the counselor, since as he made mention of starting his recovery process all over again due to the fact that he relapsed not long ago because of her.

The session was in a way that each counselor and therapist had to alternate their talking points in order for patients not to be bored by just one person talking for a longer period of time.

Cyrus set out by defining addiction and the goal they wanted to achieve. "Addiction is the use of something or someone to handle, manage or escape pain. Most sex addicts are forced to suffer in silence, which makes this addiction one of the worst. The goal of sexual addiction treatment is not lifelong abstinence, but rather a termination of compulsive, unhealthy sexual behavior."

Fitz picked up from Cyrus. "Since it is very difficult for a sex addict to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy sex, this program encourages abstinence from any sexual behavior during the first phase of treatment. We suggest a 60 to 90 days period of abstinence….."

I'd like to see that happen. 60 to 90 days abstinence? That'd be a miracle. Olivia thought, she saw Fitz gazing at her. She rolled her eyes lightly and looked away from him.

"…. During the abstinence period, a complete readjustment is taking place. Your body, mind, emotions and spirit are being rebalanced while healthy coping skills are learned." Fitz ended his point.

Chao took it up from Fitz. "Like what my colleague just said, the treatment here enables you, along with our treatment team, to understand the emotional cues and circumstances that triggers your sexual thought and compulsive sexual behavior. This treatment includes teaching you to stop sexual thoughts by thinking about something else. Substituting sexual thought with some other thought or activities, such as exercising or working out, thereby preventing the relapse of addictive behavior."

This sounds very promising. Olivia thought again, but without a glanced at Chao.

A different therapist chipped in. "One of the most difficult part of this treatment is going through the withdrawal phase. Letting go of a sexual addiction may be even more painful than withdrawing from heroin or going without food when hungry."

You can say that again. I am dying over here. Olivia didn't voice that out loud.

"It's important that you hang on and get through this period without giving in to the addiction. The abstinence violation effect occurs if an addict abstains for a while and indulges again. The addiction, then only intensifies, and you ended up feeling worse than before." Cyrus added.

Somebody please just kill me now.

The only lady counselor among the men made a point too. "Many of you have significant emotional baggage from your early lives. Talk therapy is helpful in increasing self-control and in treating related mood disorders and effects of past trauma."

"Now, we would like to know from each and every one of you what is going through your head while sexually preoccupy. What is sex to you?" Cyrus asked.

Here we go again folks. I'm not going to answer this question in front Fitz and Chao. Nah, that's never going to happen. I pray I don't get put in the spotlight like in Shaw's class.

The little boy who flirted with Olivia earlier raised his hand up.

"Yes, Jerry." Cyrus called.

"Sex to me is confident booster." Jerry said.

Fitz looked at him and swayed his head. He then saw Jerry winked at Olivia. Olivia chuckled and looked away from Jerry.

Another addict raised the hand up too. "Sex to me is love."

"Sex to me is intimacy."

"Sex to me is attention and affection."

"Sex to me is excitement."

"Sex to me is euphoric."

"Sex to me is power."

Sex to me has been all of the above at different stages in my life. But now, sex to me is coping at a given moment.

Olivia didn't voice that out loud. She sat quietly and didn't offer a word. She has made eye contact with Fitz one too many times during all this discussion. And the fact that Fitz looked too yummy wasn't helping her case.

Fitz, Cyrus and Chao all wanted her to say something, but she stood her grounds. Cyrus decided not to push her. After the class ended Fitz went directly to her.

"Hi."

"Hi" Olivia answered, trying her best not to look at him.

"I'm glad you changed your mind and came here." Fitz, trying to make small talk.

"Well, I heard you guys are the best. I saw you among the counselors. I remembered you said you were to begin your recovery process all over again?" Olivia asked, doing her best not to take in his presence.

"It turns out I was just acting out. Cyrus put me to a test some days ago and I passed with flying colors. I slept with those women because I've never been turned on by anyone since I embarked on my recovery process. The fact that I got turn on by you, and because I want you…." Wrong choice of words Fitz.

"I'm truly sorry about what I did." Olivia said and looked Fitz in the eyes, which only intensified her need for sex.

Fitz could tell Olivia was going through sex withdrawal. And he got turned on instantly with that knowledge. He wished he could help her out with that if only it wouldn't jeopardize her treatment and his position as a counselor. Fitz decided to trade on lighter grounds, he brought up a different topic. "While here, you have to grow your talent or concentrate on a hobby, what are your hobbies?"

Chao interrupted. "She loves drawing and painting. She's really gifted. I was certain you'd own an art gallery by…."

"I don't have a hobby." Olivia said to Fitz before leaving, ignoring Chao.

Fitz was very irritated by Chao interruption. "Did you have to come in? We were having a perfectly nice conversation. Why did you have to get in and mess things up?"

"She was my best friend. I would like her to forgive me. I want us to get along too" Chao replied.

Cyrus came out of nowhere and placed his arms round their shoulders."You two should stay away from her. I shouldn't repeat myself on this."

XXX

Olivia was on her way to her room. She has to do something about being horny or she was going to go crazy. There were some books in her room that she was supposed to read as part of her recovery process. She told herself she'd go for a jog if that didn't work out. The center has an amazingly peaceful, quiet forest landscape for jogging, far away from people. She'd like to try that out.

Someone called from behind her. "Hey beautiful"

Olivia turned around and saw the little boy who flirted with her earlier. "Don't call me that." She said, walking away.

"But you are beautiful." Jerry insisted, and followed behind her.

"What do you want kiddo?"

"Way to spoil the fun by calling me kiddo."

"You're a kid, you know that right?" Olivia looked behind her shoulder.

"I can do things to you a grown up can't do. You wanna try me?" He asked with a charming smile.

He looks like somebody I know. Olivia thought, but brushed it off. "No, I don't want to." Olivia answered, still walking away.

Jerry called after her. "Please wait, this place is very lonely and I don't have any friends here. All the other addicts around looks creepy and weird apart from you. Can we just be friends? Please!"

"I don't make friends with kids, kiddo. Sorry."

"I think you're scared because you know you want me." Jerry challenged.

Olivia laughed and looked at the kid. "I am very horny at this moment, but it's never going to happen with you. But you're cute though."

"I'm not cute, young lady. I'm hot and manly."

"Bye Jerry, that's your name right? Cyrus called you that."

"Can I take you out for ice cream at least? This place is having an amazing ice cream bar just down there." Jerry pleaded.

"No kiddo, bye."

Jerry watched Olivia walking away. He whispered to himself. "I detest being called kiddo." He said, trudging away.

Olivia turned around and saw Jerry with head down and hands in his pockets, walking away like a rejected soul whom no one wanted. She understood how lonely Jerry was. She felt bad for him. The ice cream might cool me off and get my mind out of my present state.

"Hey kiddo, let go for the ice cream." Olivia called him back.

Jerry's face lit up. "Thank you."

They sat down with their ice cream. "How did you get into this life?" Olivia asked Jerry.

"Do you really wanna hear the story?"

"Sure. I don't think we have any other thing in common. We might as well talk about the only thing we do have in common. How old are you and when did you get addicted to this lifestyle?"

"Okay, I'm sixteen. I've never told anyone about my story. It was my 7th grade teacher. Miss Harley she's my mom's friend. She is hot."

Olivia looked at the little boy in disbelief. "You had sex with your teacher? And she's actually your mom's friend?"

"Yes, I was 13. She always tells me I look like my dad. She asked me to stay after class one day and I did. She started touching me. I was very scared at first. I asked her to stop, but she said she'll tell my principal about the paint artwork I did on his car."

"You did a graffiti on your principal's car?" Olivia asked still in disbelief.

"Yes, I did. He's a pain in the ass."

"Language kiddo."

"Hello, look where we are. Do you really think the word ass is that bad to worry about?"

"Good point, carry on. How did teacher, Miss Harley finds out about your work of art on your principal's car?"

"The bitch was passing around the area where I did it."

"I'd pretend the word bitch coming out from your mouth didn't make me cringed inside."

"Sorry, a gentleman like myself shouldn't use such word around a beautiful lady like you." Jerry said and tried to touch Olivia.

Olivia shifted away from his touch. "Call me beautiful one more time and this little ice cream party is over."

"Sorry, don't call me kiddo too. Deal?" He extended his hand to Olivia.

Olivia smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Deal."

"Back to my story. Miss Harley took my pant off and…."

"I don't think I want to hear the details."

"But you asked."

"Did you shout out for help?"

"I tried, but she placed her mouth somewhere down there." Jerry pointed in between his legs, smiling at Olivia. "It felt too good I didn't want her to stop. She later on asked me to do things to her, which I did."

"That was rape you know that right?" Olivia said to him.

Jerry defended what happened. "Guys don't get raped. It's hard to tell whether I wanted it to happen, but it was very enjoyable at the end. And ever since I can't stop myself."

"Me too. My story is very similar to yours." Olivia said while deep in thought about her first sexual experience.

"Wait, with your teacher too?" Jerry asked.

"What?" She came back to her senses

"You just said our stories are similar."

"Never mind what I said. So, are you still sleeping with her?"

"Nah, after that she would call me over to her house when her husband was out of town, but she came home one day and find me on her bed with her eldest daughter. She called it quit and move to another State. Her daughter told me her parent are now divorced, we follow each other on twitter. I still miss her mom though."

"Does your parent have any knowledge of this?"

"Nope, I'm not stupid enough to tell them that." He gave Olivia one of his charming grin. "Now, your turn. Tell me about your story."

"My ice cream has melted. I have to go. Sorry"

"Not fair."

Olivia got up to pay for the ice cream, but Jerry insisted to pay.

"Alright mister charming." Olivia said to him.

"Now, that's a nickname I can stick with." Jerry flirted.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Bye kiddo."

"Bye beautiful."

She shook her head while walking away.

XXX

"I think Olivia is going through sex withdrawal. I saw it in her eyes" Fitz informed Cyrus and Chao.

"This period is the worst for any kind of addiction. I hope her withdrawal is not too bad that'd required us to put her on some medication. Antidepressants may be useful in treating sex addiction, but patients sometimes end up depending on it." Cyrus said.

"But there are some benefit in reducing sexual obsessions by taking it." Chao argued.

"I don't want her on that medication too. Can't we let her have Moderate lovemaking regularly scheduled? Just like what was recommended to me during my withdrawal phase. " Fitz suggested.

"That was because you were at the verge of going insane. I don't think Olivia would ever get to that stage. The best for her is complete abstinence, she has tried to commit suicide before, this means if she relapses she'll want to go that road again. This withdrawal is a good thing because she's closer to recovery, you know this." Cyrus said to Fitz, then added. "But If it gets very bad we would let her have sex and it'll be preceded by a period of abstinence lasting from two weeks to several months, just like your situation. We have enough sex workers to take care of that."

"No, I don't want any sex worker near her." Fitz quickly rejected Cyrus' suggestion.

Cyrus and Chao gave him a strength look. "If you don't want a sex worker, are you suggesting yourself?" Cyrus asked in shocked.

"I...I...mean, if…." Fitz stuttered.

"You don't mean anything. I said stay away from her. I may have forgiven you relapsing, but you'd never get your counselor's license if you sleep with a patient. That's ethically wrong on all levels. Why should you even consider that when you damn well know how damaging that could be for her? Do you know the damage that could cost her and this center?" Cyrus shouted at Fitz.

"He really didn't mean that." Chao said to Cyrus, before asking Fitz. "Did you?"

"No, I didn't. I'm going for a jog." Fitz replied angrily, walking away from them.

"Yes, you do that and clear that head of yours." Cyrus shouted behind Fitz.

Fitz was going for a jog when he got a call from Abby telling him to check on Olivia because her enabler was on his way to see her.

XXX

Olivia walked into her room and found Jake there. "Jake what are you doing here? How do you get…"

"I should be the one asking you this. What are you doing here Olivia? Do really believe in this bulllshit? Nothing is wrong with you. Don't let these people give you reason to think you're crazy or something."

"Jake you shouldn't be here. How did you get into my room in the first place?"

"Well, I know a guy who knows a guy." Jake smiled at her.

"You have to go now."

"I miss you Olivia. Why should you resign like that in that first place? I don't accept your resignation."

"I have to take care of myself. I need help Jake"

"You need to stop saying that. Nothing is wrong with you."

"I am not arguing this with you. You have to go."

Jake approached Olivia. "Don't you miss me Olivia? Don't you miss the way I feel inside you?"

Olivia went to her door fighting the urge not to ease the ache between her legs. "Jake please leave now."

Jake smiled and walked closer to her. "I know you like this game. When you say you don't want me just for me to force you."

"Jake I'm serious."

"Let's see how serious you are." He flipped Olivia around so her front was pressing against the door. Olivia tried to push him away, but Jake hardened his hold on her. "I know you like it rough." Jake said. He was struggling with his belt when Fitz knocked on Olivia's door. Olivia and Jake were both quiet. Fitz decided to open the door. He then saw Jake in Olivia's room.

"What are you doing here." Fitz barked at Jake

"I came to visit a friend." Jake answered, adjusting his belt.

"Visitors are not allowed in the rooms." Fitz said, then looked at Olivia. He saw tears running down her cheeks. "Did he do something to you." Fitz asked Olivia, charging towards Jake. "Did you touched her?"

Olivia rushed in front of Fitz and begged him not to do anything crazy. "No, please stop. He didn't do anything. He was about to leave."

Jake then rushed out of the room. Olivia immediately hugged Fitz. "I can't do this. I'm never going to get cured." Olivia said in Fitz's embrace.

Fitz welcomed her embrace, not wanting to let go of her. "Yes, you can. Trust me what you're going through won't last for long. I promise."

"I didn't want him, but wanted him at the same time." Olivia cried in Fitz embrace.

"I know the feeling."

She released herself from Fitz's arms, with tears still running down her face. "I want to have sex now. I am dying here."

"Olivia, just hang in there. This withdrawal is actually a very positive thing. Each day that you refuse to indulge in sex, you are one step closer to your recovery. It may not feel like it, but what you're going through do lessen and disappear over time. You can do this."

"No, I can't. I want you now."

"Olivia I want you too, but not like this. We can't do this. It's going to jeopardize your treatment. And it could cost me my job."

"Fine, if you don't want to I'd just call Jake back."

"Olivia, that's not fair."

"What's not fair is what I'm going through. Do you want to or not?"

"Olivia, let's go for a jog or something to take your mind and my mind off this."

"I don't want to go for a jog. If you don't want to have sex with me, I'm just going to call Jake back." She tried to trick Fitz

"Don't trick me with that. Jake is never going to be allowed into this facility again."

"Fine, go. I do have Frank's number."

Fitz hardened his jaw with the memory of Frank going down on Olivia. "Frank is also an addict, which means he won't be ten feet near your room. The center does have people who can help you with what you're going through. But you have to be at the verge of going out of your mind before…"

"Fine, then leave."

Fitz didn't move an inch.

"I said leave." Olivia shouted at him.

Fitz went to Olivia's door and stood there. He thought for a while before he shut the door. He walked to Olivia and tried to kiss her, but Olivia shifted away from his mouth and went straight to undo his belt. Fitz held Olivia's hands and tried to kiss her again. Olivia refused, still going for his belt. Fitz took a step away from her "If we are going to do this. We are not going to have just sex. I'm going to make love to you. You don't want me to kiss you because kissing plus sex is just too intimate for you. I'm going to make love to you slowly and gently, and I'm going to start by kissing you your beautiful lips." He went closer to her and bent his head to Olivia's mouth, but she shifted again.

"Fine, then I'm leaving." Fitz said, walking to her door.

"Stop. Please don't go. Okay, you can kiss me. You can make love to me."

This chapter was very fun to write.

I have no idea whether this is a step forward or backward, but I know I'm going to figure it out.