Let me start by apologizing to Crabapplect, Amanda J, IMPI and Toni about this chapter. I love you guys, and I genuinely love your reviews. I do understand your concern. In my defense this is Olitz we're talking about.
Fitz walked back to Olivia and stood in front of her without touching her. Olivia got anxious and worried at the same time. Her stomach was in a knot. She felt her body heating up and a warm sensation building inside her without a touch from Fitz. Nobody had ever talked about making love to her and this scared her to her core.
They were now staring into each other eyes. Neither of them moved. Neither of them breathed. Fitz's eyes shifted to Olivia's lips. He gazed at her lips for what seemed like a gazillion minutes to Olivia. He was going to kiss her any moment now. Olivia's nervousness grew. She could hear how fast her heart was pounding.
Fitz hoped and wished Olivia feel something from his kiss. This kiss would determine whether she'd let her guard down and allowed real intimacy with him. He knew the most intimate part of lovemaking was kissing because kissing takes place in the mind where we think we live as opposed to intercourse taking place with our genitals which we have some sort of psychological distance from. He wanted Olivia to feel excited being kissed thereby preparing her mind for what may follow. He wanted her to know healthy Intercourse was something she should engage in after getting excited from a certain feeling, but not looking for the excitement during it. The kiss could help her feel wanted and cherished other than being used mainly for sex.
Fitz smiled before he softly pressed his lips to Olivia's lips. The moment their lips made contact Olivia literally stopped breathing, she was stunned. She didn't know what to do or how to react. She has never allowed herself to be really kissed before. Not kissing her sexual partners allowed her to feel detached from them. She hasn't been with anyone who was likable enough for her to really kiss them.
Olivia hated being kissed as long as she could remember. Maybe this was due to rapist kissing her so hard that she tasted her own blood in her mouth. Nevertheless, she was very aware how intimate kissing someone during sexual intercourse could be. She would prefer to have sex with someone she didn't like or someone she was angry at than kissing someone she didn't like or angry at. That'd be just disgusting and awful respectively. While she wasn't angry or mad at Fitz, she couldn't explain her current state of mind.
Tasting Olivia's lips was something Fitz had imagined like a million times. He had wanted her so badly since the day she walked into his AA session with Abby. He has fantasized kissing her beautiful mouth over and over until her lips were more swollen than they look. But he knew he had to take his time at this very moment.
He kissed her lips slowly, reverently. A little surprised he was finally doing this. He licked the seam of her lips begging for an entrance, but Olivia was still stunned. She didn't kiss him back.
All of a sudden, doubt kicked in. Fitz was now having doubts whether he should proceed with this. This wasn't simply some ordinary lovemaking or any other physical attraction for him. He desired to be closer to her, for her to feel something for him and no one else. He didn't want to be just one of her random sex buddies who she was going to regret after the act. He knew the regret that followed after having sex with somebody he didn't really care about. He didn't want to be someone who she was going to regret later.
Fitz wasn't sure whether Olivia knew what actual lovemaking felt like. This could be drastic for her. This could really jeopardize her treatment. He thought of walking out of her room immediately, but didn't have the strength to do so. He then withdrew his lips from Olivia's, and simply stared at her, but not having the will power to walk out of her room.
Olivia could tell Fitz was about to walk out of her room. He was going to change his mind about making love to her. Maybe it was for the best, anyway. But she needed to feel something or she was going to go crazy. She cursed herself for not kissing him back. She talked herself into actually kissing him if he attempted again. Try and loosen up, this is not a big deal. It is just a kiss. Nothing is going to be special or intimate about it. Let him kiss you as long as he's going to take care of the itch in between your legs.
Olivia looked into Fitz's eyes, begging with her own eyes for him not to back off, for him to see how badly she needed to be scratched, and how she'd go insane if he walked out.
Fitz on the other hand searched Olivia deeper, desperate to know he wasn't taking advantage of her, desperate to know his own desire didn't supersede her thirst to feel something. He then saw the longing and the vulnerability in Olivia's eyes, combined with a little bit of fear and uncertainty. He came to the conclusion this wasn't about him. It was about Olivia, it was about her needs. He wanted her to feel something other than the natural release most sex addicts craved for. But he also knew Olivia's recovery was at risk here.
How he was to make Olivia feel something more than just sex without risking her treatment left to be discovered. He was certain having sexual intercourse with her would set her recovery a thousand times backward. But he wanted her to feel something much more than the normal sex addict high.
There was only one way out of this. He thought. And that would be for him to make her feel loved and cherished without actually having sexual intercourse with her, without any penetration. He'd have to make her feel satisfied without being inside of her. This means he has to be strong enough to please her and resist his own desire and need. He was certain this was going to be a real challenge, but he always loved challenges just so he could prove something to himself.
Fitz then took his mouth back to Olivia's lips and lightly traced Olivia's lips with his tongue, teasing her, requiring for an entrance again. He kept going for a while before Olivia shivered and moaned. She then responded excitedly to his kiss. Fitz placed his hands on both sides of Olivia's face and held her where he wanted her to be.
The kiss for Olivia was cautious at first, slow, sweet, and then it got more and more heated, and the earth stopped moving. It was a lot more than merely a kiss. It was everything she had felt in romantic movies and in books.
Olivia winded her fingers up in Fitz's hair and tugs it tight. Her breath was getting faster and faster in a way she couldn't control. She felt dizzy like she'd black out any second soon. She was more aware of Fitz's rock hard solid body against her than she has ever been with anyone in her life time. She swore the edges of her body faded away and turned one part with Fitz's.
Fitz nipped at Olivia's bottom lip at the same time his hands roamed down her body, lightly caressing every part it touches. When he massaged her ass, Olivia felt fireworks through her whole body. This was something she never thought was imaginable. Her whole body ached knowing there was a terrible hollow emptiness inside her that desperately needed to be filled.
Olivia gasped when Fitz caressed both of her breasts with his hands through her blouse. Fitz took advantage of her gasp and plunged his tongue deeper into her wet mouth. Hey Fitz this is not about you, it's about her. A voice said in the back of his head. He then tried to remove his tongue from Olivia's mouth, but Olivia caught his tongue on its way out and sucked on it hard.
Olivia sucked passionately on Fitz's tongue, moaning and groaning. Her hands gripped his body, pulling him closer. Fitz's tongue tasted too delicious. She never thought just kissing could be this life transforming. She didn't want to let go of Fitz's tongue. She couldn't remember why she hated being kissed in the first place because this kiss from Fitz was everything and more.
Fitz noticed they were both getting out of control. He finally broke off the kiss and just stared at her, trying to control his desire not to devour her like a beast. He could see the kiss had the same effect on Olivia like it did for him, and for this, he was the happiest man in the world. He still needed to be careful not to have sexual intercourse with her. But God help him if he'd be strong enough to withstand the throbbing between his legs. He promised himself to take things slow in order for them not to have any regret after it was all over.
Olivia got nervous from the way Fitz stared at her. She thought maybe Fitz didn't enjoy the kiss like the way she did or maybe he wanted to back off again. I want more. Why did he pull out? She asked herself mentally. The kiss was to die for. I have to catch up for all those years I refused being kissed.
Fitz saw the anxious look on Olivia's face and softly kissed the bridge of her nose, then her forehead, her eyelids, her nose again, down to her chin and her neck. He lightly nibbled at Olivia's neck, and she groaned and quavered. Fitz grinned because he barely nibbled her and she responded like that.
Olivia didn't remember her neck being this sensitive. She had never jiggled from somebody's mouth on her neck. She didn't truly know why Fitz had such effect on her. She was now certain this was going to be a lovemaking she'd never forget. And her excitement for it intensified. She couldn't wait to have Fitz inside of her.
Fitz intentionally nibbled at Olivia's neck again. But the current was so strong that Olivia tried to back off. Fitz held her firm and just nibbled some more. Olivia's legs betrayed her. She was melting down to a puddle. Fitz caught her and held her firm before she could dissolve any further.
He felt a high degree of satisfaction to have this much effect on her. He waited for her to regain her stability. Olivia did, and saw him smiling sweetly at her with a macho look on his face. She could tell how glad he was to cause such reaction from her. She got a little annoyed and rolled her eyes, then tried to take off his shirt, but he asked her to stop. "I am in charge, okay!" Fitz said to her and began to loosen her blouse.
He took his time to undo every buttons as if the buttons were delicate and precious. Olivia felt tears building behind the spine of her eyes and fought it hard for them not to come forward. She was very moved by his action just because no guy had ever shown so much care to her clothes before. All the other guys ever did was tore her dress and panties off so they could get what they wanted, not that she blamed them or anything, she also never had time for all this. She simply couldn't think of a time when someone took the time to take off her clothes.
Olivia's thought got interrupted when Fitz gently asked her to step out of her jeans. She had no idea her jean already was at her ankle or when her blouse got to the floor. She stepped out of her jeans as Fitz instructed and stood in front of him with just her bra and panties. Fitz took some steps away from her just to admire her physical structure. He then asked her to take off her bra and panties. "I want you completely naked." He said to her.
For some reasons, Olivia felt like a virgin. Even though she had her bra and panties on, she felt exposed and vulnerable in a way she had never felt before. She couldn't explain why she didn't want Fitz to stare at her the way he was staring at the moment. It was like he was trying to read her soul, and she didn't want him to know her that much. No one had ever been truly present with her during sex. She likewise had never really been involved during sex, and all this was very scary for her. She wasn't prepared for such level of intimacy. She shyly took off just her bra, but couldn't continue with her panties. She felt self-conscious to take off her panties.
Fitz noticed Olivia was shy to take off her panties and he was delighted with that knowledge because it meant he wasn't just an ordinary sex buddy for her. This meant Olivia felt something for him. Many sex addicts wouldn't give a damn being naked in front of their prey. "I want to see you completely bare." Fitz stated, gazing into her eyes.
Olivia waited for some seconds, struggling with what she was about to do. She has exposed herself to him and many others before, but she had no idea why this day was different. She then closed her eyes and took off her panties. She was completely nude in front of Fitz while he was still fully clothed. Olivia waited patiently with eyes close, hoping Fitz would close the gap between them, but all she heard was complete quietness. She opened her eyes and found Fitz staring at her not only with lust, but with something else too. He didn't need to say he liked what he saw or how beautiful she was because Olivia could see it all from his face. She thanked God Fitz didn't say anything like that because she has heard how beautiful and sexy she was during sex from too many guys who all made those words sound really annoying and cliche like.
Fitz had seen Olivia naked before in his office when she wanted to prove he was drawn to her. But her being this naked in front of him when he recognized he could really have her if he wanted was something he never prepared himself for. His body began shaking uncontrollably like the first time he saw her naked. He swallowed hard and forced himself to calm down. Fitz, you are not to have intercourse with her. This is really not about you. This is about her. But his penis didn't want to be confined in his trousers. His penis tented his pant so badly that he wondered if he had bruised himself.
Olivia saw how huge Fitz's crotch was and shivered from cold or something else. She walked toward him to close the space between them. But Fitz stopped her so he could calm himself down. He then saw the yearning in Olivia's eyes, and needed to touch her immediately. With hardly a stride, he closed the gap between them.
As soon as Fitz's lips made contact with Olivia's lips again, she moaned and thanked heaven for the passion that followed. Fitz fitted one hand in her hair and the other along her hip and drew her closer to his body while walking with her toward the wall until her spine was pressed against the wall.
Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and tiptoed so she could get more kisses from Fitz. She felt his hard member through his pant. She then thrust her hips forward and they both groaned at the contact.
Fitz took Olivia's nipple into his mouth and her whole body went on fire, but burning in a marvelous kind of way. She stopped breathing for some seconds, then began turning her head from side to side. A loud moan escaped her lips as Fitz worked wonders on both nipples. She felt him teeth them, sucked them and licked them. Olivia thought she was going to explode from pure pleasure. She began grinding her body to his and this made Fitz hiss and moaned aloud.
After Fitz thought Olivia's breasts were swollen enough, he carried her and placed her on the bed. Olivia laid down panting as she observed him get off his T-shirt and struggled with his trouser. As soon as he finally slid them on the floor, Olivia gasped at the sight of him. Fitz was massive.
From Olivia's gasped Fitz then noticed what he just did. Fitz your clothes are off. You are not to have sex with her. I repeat you are not to have sex with her.
Olivia looked at Fitz, and the lust he had in his eyes was undeniable. She involuntarily stretched out her hand and grabbed his throbbing member.
Fitz tensed up and shivered at the contact. He was now wondering how he was going to leave her room without feeling himself inside of her. You can do this. He prepped talked himself. Olivia started massaging him, but he slightly pushed her hand away and asked her to stop, saying he was in charge. Fitz, you can do this.
He climbed on the bed and lay beside Olivia. He started kissing her again and at the same time walking his hand up and down Olivia's thigh. Olivia spreads her legs open and Fitz's hand went exactly where she desired it to be. Fitz started rubbing her already steaming wet clitoris with his thumb. It felt so wonderful. She moaned out loudly and Fitz took that as a hint. He introduced a finger inside of her, teasing her slowly before he picked up pace. "Oh Fitz, what are you doing to me with just a finger?" Olivia moaned out. Fitz whispered in her ear. "I am making love to you. Do you like it?" He huskily asked Olivia. She nodded her head. "Have you ever felt like this?" Fitz asked, staring at Olivia, whose eyes were close. Olivia didn't answer him. "Sweetie, have you ever felt like this?" Olivia was a little offended and touched with his question at the same time. No, she has never felt like this before. What was his point of asking, but he just called her sweetie. She opened her eyes and saw Fitz staring at her with so much affection. She closed her eyes and said no. And Fitz kept on going with his fingers. He later on inserted two fingers into Olivia and she lost it. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body arched against him. He picked up pace with both fingers until Olivia found herself riding against his fingers.
Olivia was becoming wilder and untamed as her libido was increasing and the heat of her body soaring. Fitz on the other hand was fighting hard for his dick not to have control over his brain.
While Olivia's eyes were closed, Fitz was watching her reaction from his touch, and every vein in his body was at the verge of going extinct. Olivia's reaction from his touch was just too beautiful and erotic for him. Fitz added another finger and another finger until Olivia started panting and moaning out loudly.
If everything was up to Fitz, he'd do what he was dong to her all day 365 days in a year. He moved his fingers deeper inside of Olivia and found her G-spot. And Olivia went wide. He kept hitting it over and over, until Olivia couldn't take it any longer. She felt her wall clamping around his finger and finally came on his fingers.
Fitz removed his fingers inside of Olivia and asked her to look at him. Olivia looked at him and he then put his fingers into his mouth and licked on it as if Olivia's liquid on his hand was some sort of liquid lollipop. They were both in a trance staring at each other.
Olivia got turned on all over again from the way Fitz licked her juice off his hand. She felt like he was licking her. She found herself moving her body against empty air as if Fitz's tongue was on her.
Olivia movement drove Fitz crazy. He went to her mouth and kissed her hard. Olivia tasted herself. She never thought she tasted that good until this day. Fitz started working his mouth down her body. Olivia looked down at where he was heading and she sighed gently, "what is life." Fitz smiled at her statement and spread opened her legs.
Olivia supported herself with her elbow to watch what Fitz was about to perform. Fitz's tongue licked over her clit and Olivia sucked in a sharp breath as she watched on. He kept on licking and Olivia lay back down on the bed. She moved her hands to her breasts, squeezing her nipples. She felt Fitz's fingers inside of her again accompanied with his tongue this time around, and she thought she died and went to Heaven. She could hear Fitz's tongue flicking over her tender flesh.
Fitz continued to lick and sucked her clit as she turned her head from side to side with a firm gripped at the bedspread. Fitz brought one of his hands up Olivia's body and grabbed hold of her right breast and raised his head, took his thumb, and massaged her clitoris as he gazed at her. Olivia tried to hoist herself up with her elbow again to watch him, but Fitz forced her down and sank his face back into her wet core. Olivia felt like she was going to lose her mind. She screamed out loud wanting the whole world to hear her passion.
Even though Fitz desperately wanted to be inside Olivia, he knew it'd risked her treatment. He has held his boys in for too long and his level of discomfort from it was too much to bear. He knew if he didn't relieve himself soon, he would cause serious irritation to his urethra or bladder. Fitz got hold of his dick and started massaging it. But Olivia said no she wanted him inside of her. He tried to ignore her and continued with his masturbation, but Olivia spreads her legs wide open for him.
Fitz looked at his penis in his hand, then Olivia, whose legs were wide open for him and shook his head. He cursed himself before he positioned himself on top of Olivia. Oh no Fitz, you didn't. Oh yes, I did. Fitz sat fully inside her and closed his eyes, ignoring the instinct to pound her. He simply concentrated on the touch sensation of her around him. His whole body ached with pleasure when his dick finally fitted perfectly into Olivia.
Olivia's breath ceased, she wasn't prepared for the size of Fitz. She has had many unfamiliar, unfriendly, but wanted dicks inside of her many times, but nothing prepared her for size of Fitz.
Olivia squirmed underneath Fitz and he gripped her hip in his hands tightly. Fitz groaned as he pushed himself in and out of her. His thrust became longer and faster. Olivia moaned then turned into screams.
They were both really close when Fitz told Olivia to wrap her legs around him. "Wrap your legs around me." The seconds those words left Fitz's mouth, Olivia froze. Wrap your legs around me? Olivia's brain asked. Pictures of her rapist asking her to wrap her legs around him resurfaced in her brain. "Wrap your legs around me." Fitz repeated and Olivia started shouting uncontrollably asking him to stop.
Fitz quickly got himself out of her and attempted to console her, but Olivia shouted and pushed him away asking him not to come near her. Fitz had no idea what triggered Olivia's reaction.
Olivia coiled herself together like a soccer ball, having a severe panic attack. She was shivering, sweating and chanting. "She's going to hit. She's looking for something to hit me with. I didn't intend to like it. I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I won't do it again."
Fitz was completely clueless on what to do. "Olivia, are you ok?" He nervously asked her, but Olivia didn't response. She continued with her chanting.
Fitz's eyes were full with tears watching Olivia this helpless, he ran his hands through his hair in desperation and exclaimed. "What did I just do?"
Writing love making description is not my forte. And composing a whole chapter just on it was a real challenge.
