TODAY IS THE SECOND ANNIVERSARY OF THIS STORY. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO DROP SOMETHING SINCE AS I HAVE BEEN GONE FOREVER.
I COULD NOT DROP ANYTHING ON THE OTHER STORY BECAUSE I CANNOT FIND THE DRAFT COPY I MUST HAVE DELETED IT UNINTENTIONALLY. IT HAS DISAPPEARED ON MY PC.
Days later, Fitz and Olivia were in Fitz's office with both James and Cyrus. "I tried my best." She said to them and walked to the window, staring aimlessly nowhere with both hands crossed around her chest. Certainly they were all waiting for an explanation, but she was definitely not in the mood to give them one. She couldn't face them. Knowing she was failing them was too heavy a burden on her. She also didn't want them to see the pain she was going through.
"Olivia you can't just give up." James pointed out to her as if it was her choice to do so in the first place.
"Yes, Olivia, Choa is right, besides, you've tried just once." Cyrus added.
For once, Olivia wished they could see from her angle. She fought back tears, shook her head slowly, still not looking at them, but she tried to make them see reason, "At least I reached out. You guys have to give me that. I'm done."
This whole time, she noticed Fitz has been quiet . She could image how disappointed he must be hearing those words coming out from her mouth. She bowed down her head, looking at her feet and a tear ran down her face.
Cyrus and James both looked at Fitz, wanting him to say something convincing to change Olivia's mind. Fitz gave them the 'what gesture' with his body without saying a word, and not wanting to say a word.
Fitz has thought of the inevitable reason why Olivia was giving up, and he didn't want to force her to do something that'd make her more depress. But James and Cyrus wouldn't stop giving him that 'is your turn to talk' look, insisting he say something.
Giving up, he spoke, but in favor of Olivia, "yes she did her best. She reached out." He said to Cyrus and James, and they were both perplexed at his statement.
Letting out a long breath of relief she didn't know she was holding, Olivia wiped the tear on her face, but still did not turn to face them.
Cyrus was about to scream at the top of his voice when Fitz interrupted him.
Fitz got up from his chair, but didn't walk where Olivia was standing, "What precisely did she say to you?" He asked Olivia.
The room was completely quiet, with everyone waiting for Olivia to answer Fitz's question. She took like forever to answer him. But finally, she closed her eyes, took a long deep breath and moist her lips with her tongue, then faced them with her head up high. "She refused to talk to me. She said Karl should tell me she doesn't want to see me or have anything to do with me."
Everyone in the room was shocked. Fitz dropped back to his chair and was furious. He threw the items that were on his desk, "How heartless can that woman be?"
"Fitz Calm down." James shouted at him.
"Don't tell me to calm down. Why should I be calm?" He then looked at Olivia and saw a scared look on her face, he immediately apologized. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."
"It's ok," she said to him, then realized how hot he was when angry. She hid a smile and scratched the back of her neck lightly, getting uneasy from it all. Nevertheless, thanking her addiction for this little escape of her present.
Fitz could tell what was going on in her brain, "like really?" He asked her in a whisper.
Olivia shrugged innocently, saying under her breath, "It's not my fault you're this hot while angry." certain no one could hear her. But she saw Fitz hides a smile, which meant he did hear her, she smiled faintly back at him before looking away.
Cyrus saw that little moment between them and wasn't pleased, "Are you two really flirting with each other right now?" He asked them, adding "You two are disgusting."
Not having the time or the care about what was going on, James went back to what was important. "Olivia, the last time I saw your mother, she was really different. There are many sides to every story." He pointed out to Olivia and Fitz.
And just like that, Olivia was back to her present situation. "There's only one side to this story. She never loved me or wanted me. I just have to be ok with that. In fact, I was ok with it until you guys went digging, talking about closure and whatnot."
Cyrus, trying to get to the bottom of it all,"You said you spoke to someone in the facility she's in, who did you talk to?"
"A man name Karl Jent…. something, I can't remember," She answered.
James looked at Cyrus, "What about the talkative lady, who wanted to tell us everything we wants to know about anyone in there?"
"Maybe she got fired due to talking too much?" Cyrus answered.
"Who are you two talking about?" Fitz asked.
But James continued with Cyrus, "if we get in touch with her we might know more about the ground situation of everything."
Fitz asked for the second time, "Who are you guys talking about?"
Deciding to put an end to everything, Olivia "You guys shouldn't bother. I don't need her in order to find inner peace. I reached out, but she doesn't want to. I think I have all the closure you guys said I needed." Olivia said bye to them and left.
After Olivia left, Cyrus and James explained everything to Fitz and they decided to search the lady they spoke to when they went inquiring of the Maya's situation.
XXX
Jerry was on his way to see his father when he met Olivia coming out of Fitz's office. "Hey Olivia, is my dad alone?"
"Hey Jerry, no, he's with Cyrus and James. What have you been up to?"
"Well, I've been trying to perfect my art to reach your level. You have real skill you know."
Olivia laughed, "Your skill is pretty perfect if you ask me. I'm going to the cafeteria to look for something to eat you can join me after you're done with your dad, if you want?"
She didn't need to ask Jerry twice. "Thanks, let's go now."
"I thought you were going to see your dad."
"It wasn't anything important."
"Jerry!" Olivia voiced out.
"I'm serious in fact I was going to ask him what we are to have for dinner. I can tell him to join us, if you…."
"No, no… the two of us is fine." Olivia interrupted quickly.
"Ok then, let me tell him I'm going to eat with you so he doesn't bother."
While they were eating, Olivia decided to know Jerry better. "So, how does it feel to be an only child?"
"I'm not an only child, I have a sister, and she's a year younger than me."
Olivia was really surprise and realized she has no real knowledge of Fitz. "wow, I didn't know that. What's her name?"
"Really, you had no idea? Her name is Karen, what do you and my dad talks about anyways?"
"I'm his patient, we talk what a patient and a therapist talks about."
Jerry chuckled, "Yeah, right!"
"What's that suppose to mean?" Olivia asked, but not wanting an answer.
"I mean…"
"Jerry, I don't really want an explanation. You and your sister, are you two close?"
"I don't know, we are ok I guess. What about you, do you have any sibling?"
"No, well, none that I know of, I've always wanted a sibling though."
"Yeah, I wished you had a sister since you prefer my dad, your sister might've…"
Olivia laughed out and cut him off, "say no further. Jerry, don't you miss your mom and sister?"
"They too have their own stuff going on in their lives. I do miss them a little though. But no one in my family really cares about me, not even my dad. He's all work, work. I've been trying to just hang out with him, but he's always very busy, but no biggy."
Olivia thought how lonely Jerry must be. She also thought about what he told her concerning his 7th grade teacher, which wasn't that far from what she went through herself. Keeping that a secret must be hard especially for a 16 year old, "why don't you tell someone about Miss Harley?"
Jerry was a little confused, but he immediately registered what Olivia meant, "You still have that in your head? In regards to telling someone about her I did, you."
"I'm talking about telling a professional, someone who could actually help you like your father."
Jerry laughed, "Are you kidding me? That won't be good for anyone."
Olivia knew never pushed anyone to do something they aren't ready for, she changed the topic, "You said you miss your mom and sitter, why don't you tell them you miss them and want to spend time with them. It's that simple Jerry."
"Nah, that's weak and lame, but I'll go and visit during our short break though."
"What's weak and lame and who are you going to visit?" Fitz appeared.
Olivia and Jerry were both surprise to see him.
"I thought I asked you not to invite your dad?"
"I'm right here, and I can hear you," Fitz said to Olivia
"I didn't," Jerry answered Olivia
"Ugh, that hurts. I am human, I get hungry too, plus Olivia, I do have good news for you."
Olivia loved good news, "What?" she asked him in excitement.
"You can actually go see your mother."
Her countenance immediately spiraled downward, "How is that good news, and more importantly, how did that happen?"
"We spoke to one talkative lady, Rosaline, she works in the facility where your mother is being held, and she let us talk to your mother."
"Your mother is in prison?" Jerry asked Olivia very surprised.
"Jerry, you either stay quiet or go outside and give us a moment." Fitz ordered.
Easy pick for Jerry, "I'll go with quiet."
Olivia was a confused, "But she told Karl, the guy who I spoke to, to tell me she doesn't want to see me or talk to me."
"Yes, that's because she's up for parole and due to how she treated you as a kid. She planned to reach out to you after she's out. She doesn't think she deserves your help now."
"But how am I helping her now?"
"She said her lawyer suggested you testifying on her behalf could set her free."
"I am not going to do that."
"We told her you won't be doing any favors for her, and that's the only reason she agreed to meet with you. I think she has changed, Olivia."
"Please don't start with that. I have to go. I've lost my appetite," She got up to leave.
Fitz protested, "You are leaving? But you've barely even touched your food. I'd like to eat with you guys."
"Eat with your son. Get to know him and the root cause of him being here. He misses you a lot." Olivia said and left.
Fitz looked at Jerry, "You do?"
Jerry shrugged.
"But I'm always here"
"But you are not."
"Jerry, what's going on?"
"Nothing, I just want to spend time with you sometimes, but you're all about work or Olivia is more important."
"I thought you loved Olivia."
"Yes, I do, but it feels like you like talking and spending time with her than me. Everyone here is so grown and not really interesting. I'm always alone. I miss my friends."
"Good, that's your punishment for not thinking about your life's choices."
"Yeah right, like you did, have you heard the statement the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?"
"Boy, you don't talk to me that way." Fitz shouted at Jerry.
Jerry yelled back, "I'll talk to you anyway I want…"
Fitz got up from his seat with anger, but calmed himself immediately after he saw the eyes on them. He sat down and they were all quiet for a while, then Jerry tried to leave. But Fitz spoke gently.
"Sit down son. Jerry, I'm very sorry. Really son, for everything you're going true, and me not being there. Will you forgive me?"
Jerry didn't say anything, but when Fitz asked for the check, he got up from his seat and hugged his dad tightly.
Fitz hugged him tightly too, but when he wanted to let go, Jerry hugged him tighter. Fitz then realized how he hasn't really been there for his kids. He wondered what pushed Jerry to this lifestyle. He knew he was to be blame, like Jerry said the apple does not fall far from the tree, but he needed to hear it from Jerry himself.
"I love you son," Fitz uttered.
"I love you too dad." And he finally let go of his father, and went back to his seat.
"Jerry, what really happened to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean when did you get entangled with sex that got you into this place, is it because of me?"
Jerry wasn't comfortable with such discussion, "No, dad and I don't want to talk about sex with you."
"Son, I'm trying to know you more, to see how I can be of help to you. You can tell me anything and I promise I won't make a big deal out of it."
Jerry was quiet, not really convinced about his father not making a big deal out of everything.
Fitz tried to break it down slowly for him, "OK, let's start with the basic, small stuff."
"K" Jerry answered.
"When did you start having sex?"
"Three years ago." Jerry replied.
Fitz was very shocked, "Jerry, you were 13," He shouted out.
"But you said you wouldn't make a big deal…"
"Sorry, sorry," Fitz calmed down, "Who was the first person you had sex with?" He asked.
Jerry was convinced not only would he get in trouble, but the person might get in bigger trouble too, "I can't tell you because you're going freak out and get the person in trouble."
Fitz's antennas got alerted. Jerry being scared to tell him could only mean one thing, it was with someone he knows and the person must be a grownup because that'd be illegal which could get the person in trouble. This might be the root of Jerry's illness. But he knew he had to play it cool if he was to get any information out of Jerry. "I promise you, I won't freak out or get anyone in trouble, it was three years ago."
"You have to swear you won't get the person in trouble and if you do, I'll hate you forever and l will never trust you again, promise."
Fitz didn't know what to do, if the person was grown he couldn't just brushed it off because that was rape of a minor, his son, but he also wanted to gain Jerry's trust.
"I promise, I won't get anyone in trouble. Who was it?"
"I'm serious dad, promise sincerely."
"I said I promise, who was it?"
"Miss Haley, mom's friend," Jerry stopped breathing, waiting for his father's reaction
Fitz also stopped breathing, trying to process the information.
"Dad, are you ok? You promised you won't freak out."
Fitz calmed himself, knowing trust and promised be damn, "who initiated it and were you comfortable with it?"
Jerry was quiet for a while contemplating his answer, but the cat was already out of the bag, "She did. I wasn't comfortable at first, but after a while I wasn't afraid and it was nice then we started doing it often," Jerry gave his dad a smirk as if it's something he should be proud of.
Fitz's blood was boiling with rage, but he knew he needed time to process this away from Jerry so he wouldn't do something he or his son would regret later. At that very moment he promised himself not to talk about it for days so he'd be calmer when he wanted to deal with the issue. He decided to change the subject "Have you spoken to your mom or your sister lately?"
"Aren't you going to say something about what I just said?"
"You said I shouldn't freak out. So I'm changing the topic, have you spoken to your mom or sister?
"No. Have you?"
"Yes. They're going on a two week vacation with Andrew in a few days."
"But I wanted to spend time with them during our short break."
Fitz felt bad for Jerry, "Your mom didn't tell you about the vacation?"
"No, apparently I'm the only one who loves spending time with people in this family."
"Jerry!"
"No, it's fine." He got up to leave
"Jerry, wait."
"Dad, I'm fine."
"Olivia, me and James will be going to visit her mom out of town, would you like to come along?"
"Really, when?" Jerry asked with excitement.
"During the short break, would you like to come with us?" Fitz asked again.
"Are you kidding me? Yes!"
As the visiting day approached, Olivia got more worry and nervous. Meeting her mom after not seeing her for more than half of her life was nerve racking. But the thought of Fitz, Jerry and James going with her always calmed her nerves.
James went to spend some time with her on the eve of the visiting day. They chatted about various topics, but he noticed Olivia was avoiding her mom's topic. He was about to talk of the inviolable when Olivia beat him to it.
"Do you think she murdered the guy because she later on believes me?" She asked him.
James contemplated his response before answering her, "It's a possibility. According to Rosaline your mom talks about you alot and even has your pictures on the wall of her cell."
The replied made Olivia hopeful, the thoughts of her mother going to jail for her was somehow lovely and the idea that her mom may now love her was sweet and a little strength at the same time, but she didn't want to get her hopes up, "Why didn't she look for me then? You guys said she's spending a sixteen year time and has been there for ten years already."
"Olivia, you are going to ask her everything tomorrow." James replied.
"What if she's doing all this for a show, just so to have a good report for her release and what if…."
"Olivia! Stop."
Olivia let out a long breath and they were both in a comfortable silence before she blurted out. "I wish she was dead."
James was taken aback by that, "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do. This is her building up my hopes just so she could crush it. At least if she was dead I won't have to go through this. I don't want her in my life."
"So, your question of 'why didn't she look for me?' was just you not caring about her, right?"
Olivia was about to answer when James got up and asked her to get some rest. "It's just a three hour flight, but you need some rest anyway."
The next morning, Fitz, James and Jerry were waiting for Olivia so they could go to the airport, but Olivia refused to show up. They all went to her room and found her all dressed up with swollen yes. Fitz rushed to her.
"Hey, what's the matter, have you been crying?"
"I can't go. I'm not ready to see her," Olivia said to Fitz.
Fitz hugged her, saying, "You don't have to then, until when you're ready, ok?"
"So I don't get to spend the whole day with you guys today?" Jerry wasn't pleased.
So was James, he pressed on, "Olivia, you are never going to be ready. But you have to face this thing, headstrong. You can do this."
"She said she's not ready." Fitz shouted at James
James fired back at Fitz, "And I say she is."
"I'm on team hashtag Uncle James," A side commentary from Jerry.
"Jerry, go and wait outside." Fitz ordered.
"But….."
"Out!"
"James, I can't." Olivia said after Jerry left the room.
James walked to her, "Olivia, I know you. I know you're a fighter. You remember after I spread the rumor of your mom in school just before exam week, so you would be down and won't make valedictorian? But you told me in my face that you may be hurt, but you're going to come out victorious and you did?"
Olivia shook her head.
"Good, you may be hurt now, but you're going to come out victorious. Just face this thing headstrong, OK?"
"Ok" Olivia answered.
"Olivia, if you're not ready we could do this another time." Fitz said to her.
"Thanks Fitz, but I don't think I'll ever be ready to do it. James is right I should just face it and be over with it."
"Thank you Olivia." James gave Fitz a mocking look, happy Olivia took his advice.
Olivia saw the look. "It wasn't a contest," She said to James, They all smiled and she took her bag for them to proceed on their journey.
XXX
On the plane, James and Olivia were seated together playing cards while Fitz and Jerry were also together, with Jerry playing a video game and Fitz struggling to read a book. The seating arrangement was orchestrated by Cyrus due to his lack of trust in Fitz and Olivia. He ordered Olivia to sit with James, his reason being strange things do happen on the plane.
Fitz and Olivia kept giving glances at each other and it was driving James insane since Olivia wasn't concentrating on what they were doing.
He called Jerry, "Jerry come let's play the game you're playing together I think your dad and Olivia really wants to talk to each other. Strange things do happen on the plane be damned."
Jerry was more than happy to oblige, "Oh, thank God, I thought I'm the only one who couldn't take it anymore. I was thinking of a polite way to tell them."
They all laughed. While Olivia and Jerry were changing seats, "I really don't know what you see in you," Jerry said to Olivia as they bypassed each other. She shook her head and smiled
Olivia sat next to Fitz and teased, "So, what do you want to talk about since JC said we are dying to talk to each other."
"Cyrus told me James could read minds, but I never believed him till now." Fitz replied and they both laughed.
After the laugh they didn't know what to say to each other.
"Thank you for everything." Olivia finally said.
"What did I do? Last time I check I didn't give you a convincing speech to get you on this plane."
"You were being protective and it was sweet knowing someone is on my side." She thought of her statement, then shook her head, rolling her eyes at the same time, adding, "Well, you guys are all on my side, but I'm thanking you for coming with me and every other thing."
"It's part of my job."
"No, it is not."
Fitz smiled, "No one really knows what you are going through, Olivia. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you."
"I'm really nervous, like a little kid type of fear. I feel like I'm teenager again."
Fitz held Olivia's hand and faced her, "I'm certain no matter the outcome of this trip you'll be pleased how brave you are for actually going through with this."
Looking into his eyes, Fitz's words felt so assuring for Olivia, she shook her head, agreeing with him, but for some reason his eyes held her captive, she was unable to look away or move from him. Her gaze now shifted down to his lips and she stared at it for eternity.
Cyrus' words were ringing in Fitz's ears while staring at Olivia's lips too. He hated that the old man was right. "We can't," He finally whispered.
Those two words brought Olivia back to her senses. "I know," She said and smiled when she thought of the reason Cyrus didn't want them to sit together.
Olivia rested her head on her seat. They were all quiet for a while, certainly thinking of what almost happened millisecond ago. She decided to let him know her action just now didn't mean she was still being controlled by lust or that she wasn't making any progress. "I want you to know what I feel for you is not something I've ever felt with the others. My action just now does not insinuate I'm not making progress. My feelings for you are more than just lust. I don't know how long it'll take for you to believe me, but I hope you do soon."
Fitz closed his eyes and rested his head on his seat too, then let out a long breath. He wished he was 100% certain of Olivia's feelings for him, but he wanted her to be happy, "I believe you. I believe your feelings for me are different."
They were both again in a comforting silence. Fitz decided to add, "I want to say more to you, but I have to put your healing first. I want you to know that no matter what I feel for you or what you feel for me, you can always count on me and I'll always be here for you."
Olivia believed that 100%, "I know."
"It feels good to know you know."
They looked at each other and smile with their head lying on their seat.
There were now in the prison facility ready to see Olivia's mom, but they were informed she was with another visitor, and they should wait a little longer.
Olivia covered her face with her palms in frustration, knowing her mother hasn't changed. Fitz and James tried telling her it wasn't a big deal for them to wait.
"Are you guys kidding? She knows I'm coming today, but she chooses to have another visitor today too. I really need to see that visitor who's so important that she would let the daughter she now claimed to care wait after not seeing her for almost 17 years."
"Olivia calmed down no need to get all work…." James paused as he saw the guard who informed them to wait approaching them.
"You guys can come now," The guard said.
They all walked toward him, but he asked them to stop saying they could only take two visitors at a time.
James suggested he be the one to go with Olivia. "I grew up with Olivia and her mom knows me."
Fitz thought it was a good idea too, "Ok"
"No, James I want to go with Fitz, I'm sorry."
"You don't need to be sorry, it's ok," James replied.
As Fitz and Olivia were walking with the guard, she decided to make some inquiries. "I didn't see anyone coming outside while we were waiting, but you said she was with a visitor. Maybe there are other exits points."
"Is that a question?" The guard asked her.
"Who was she with?" She asked.
"The person is still there with her. Everyone here loves Maya," the guard replied.
"But you said only two visitors at a time." Fitz stated.
"Her visitor has preferential treatment she can visit at any time."
Olivia got suspicious "She? Is she her lawyer?"
"Too many questions, do you want to see her or not?"
Olivia paused as they entered the visitors' area. She had just spotted her mom. She could see her pacing back and forth, she has a little gray hair and she looked worried.
The guard and Fitz walked a little further before noticed Olivia wasn't walking along with them, they both stopped to look at her. Fitz then saw the person Olivia was staring at, he walked back to her.
"Is that her?" Fitz asked Olivia.
She was about to answer Fitz when her mother spotted them too. Her mom wanted to rush toward her, but Olivia saw she decided it wasn't a good idea and she was glad she knew that.
"Where is the visitor with the preferential treatment?" Olivia asked no one in particular.
The guard then saw Olivia and her mom looking at each other, "Oh, you've seen each other, great." He left.
Maya finally gathered the courage and walked up to Olivia. She tried to touch her, but Olivia flinched and moved closer to Fitz instead.
"Livvie, my baby girl." Maya voiced out with a cracked voice.
Olivia, still clinging on Fitz, spoke sharply, "I'm not your baby or anything."
Maya fought back tears.
"Why don't we all sit down" Fitz suggested.
Maya pointed where they should sit and they all sat down. She was looking at Olivia really scared and worried not knowing what to say. While Olivia was looking everywhere, but Maya. Olivia saw one elderly white inmate with a mixed race little girl who was also a visitor pretending as if they weren't' interesting in the conversation she and Maya were about to have. She came to the conclusion the inmate must be Maya's friend here.
Maya cleared her voice, "Olivia, I have found Jesus. I am now a new person."
"Hallelujah, praise the Lord." Olivia replied, unable to look her mom in the eyes.
Fitz chuckled a little at Olivia's response and pretended to clear his throat.
"I don't expect you to forgive me, Olivia. But I pray you do, not for me, but for yourself. JC and the other people I spoke to, I suspect this is one of them," She pointed at Fitz, "told me what you've been going through. And Livvie from the bottom of my heart, I am very sorry for all that I've put you through and for what you are still going through."
Olivia chuckled, but without humor, still avoiding her mother's gazed, afraid she'd see the scared little girl who brought her nothing but sorrow.
All Olivia really wanted to know at the moment was why she murdered her rapist since she blamed her for the rape in the first place, "so what made you believe me and go all crazy on your ball-toy?"
Maya was quiet, and Olivia could see she was somehow scared to tell her what happened. Olivia asked her for the second time.
Maya swallowed spit before answering, "I didn't kill him because of you. Though I wish I wasn't in such a place back then when you told me what he did to you."
Olivia felt hurt. She had wished her mom finally believed her boy-toy force himself on her, "Good to know. I thought, eh, maybe she felt bad about what he did to me and gave him what he deserved, but that would mean she actually cares or believes me" Olivia tried to be sarcastic, but the pain in her voice was visible.
"Olivia, I did believe you back then, but I didn't want to accept it because it'll mean another man leaving again after your father left me."
"And once again it's my fault daddy left you."
"I'm not saying it's your fault, baby…."
"I said don't call me baby," Olivia shouted
Maya couldn't control her weeping, "I'm sorry for everything. Truly, I wish I could turn back the time."
Fitz felt really sorry for Maya and believed she regretted her past. He handed her his handkerchief.
Olivia felt bad for her too, but didn't want to show it, she looked away and saw the inmate and the little girl crying due to Maya crying. She didn't know what to make of it. All she wanted to know was why Maya murdered her rapist since now it wasn't because he raped her.
"So, what made you kill him?" Olivia asked her for the third time with her voice sounding gentler than the front she wanted to present.
Maya didn't answer. She instead looked at the inmate who was crying with the little girl. Olivia and Fitz looked at them too, both confused.
Olivia's patience worn out, "Who are they and why are they so invested in this?" She impatiently demanded rudely.
Maya breathed out before calling, "Michaela, honey come," calling the little girl sitting with the inmate.
The girl walked to them and hugged Maya. Before thoughts could register in Olivia and Fitz's head, Maya said, "Olivia, this is your little sister, Michaela, she's fifteen and smart, just like you."
The little girl gave Olivia a nervous smile, but Olivia didn't smile back. Fitz could see the little girl has a striking resemblance to Olivia, but just fairer in complexion.
"Was she the visitor you were with while we were waiting?" Fitz asked.
Maya shook her head with tears running down her face.
Olivia was still confused why Maya didn't answer her question, but instead called to introduce her sister.
Trying not to be affected by the fact that she now has a little sister, which was something she has always wanted since as a kid, she put up a defense, "You didn't answer my question why did you murder your boy-toy, my rapist?"
"I murdered him because of her." Maya said and drew Michaela closer to her, and Michaela rested her head on her mother's shoulder.
Tears formed in Olivia's eyes as she felt really jealous seeing the little affection between her mom and her brand new sister.
Maya continued, "I caught him trying to hurt her just like the way he hurt you."
"I don't get it." Olivia stated, "You said she's 15 and he tried to rape her, but you've been in prison for 10 years now because of his murdered, so?"
"Yes, Olivia, he tried to do that to a five year old. She was five at the time."
The defense Olivia has been putting up broke down, "Oh my God!" She voiced out and covered her mouth from crying out loud. Fitz reached out and caressed her lightly. "I'm so sorry," she said to Michaela and then asked Maya with a very gentle tone, "Who's her dad?"
"He was my dad," Michaela answered Olivia.
"What?" Fitz and Olivia asked at the same time.
Olivia got up from her seat. She couldn't believe she was staring at the blood of her rapist. All kinds of emotions were boiling inside of her. "You actually gave birth to a daughter of the man who raped me? You haven't heard of abortion? Who am I fooling, I'm sure you sat down and thought I don't think I have hurt Olivia enough." She then looked at Michaela, "You do know the blood of a rapist flows through your veins, right?"
"Olivia?" Fitz shouted at her, "She is just a child."
Michaela burst into tears and hugged her mom tightly.
Maya forgot she found Jesus, she went closer to Olivia, right in front of her face "I won't have you talking to my daughter like that. You don't know what she has been through or still going through. Yes, I hurt you Olivia, but that doesn't give you the right to talk to my baby girl like that." Maya shouted at Olivia at the top of her voice.
Feeling paralyzed, Olivia immediately saw the mother she knew screaming at her. Only this time she was putting someone's feelings above hers, "Wow, you do really love her," Olivia managed to say, "How I wish you showed me just a quarter of the affection you just shown her now, but all I remember, is you hitting me after I told you he raped." Olivia looked at Michaela, "Michaela, I'm sorry for saying all those things to you. I let my emotion got the best of me. That was cruel and offensive. You didn't ask to be born. But know this; you have a bright future ahead of you. Knowing you're 100% love by someone, especially by your own mother makes a big difference in a way I can't even imagine. I wish you two all the best. Fitz I think I have my closure, let's go," She took her bag and got up from her seat, waiting for Fitz to join her.
"Olivia!" Fitz called softly, and held her hand, stopping her from walking away, knowing there was still so much to be discussed.
Maya rushed to Olivia in tears, "Livvie, bab.. I was just being protective. I'm very sorry for shouting. Please don't leave."
Michaela also begged her, "Please don't leave."
Fitz stood up from his seat and spoke sweetly, "Livvie, darling you're already here, hear her out please, if not for anything, but for your peace of mind and complete healing, for us."
Tears were running down Olivia's face, she shook her head and tried to clean her face to the best of her ability, but finally sat down.
Not wanting Michaela to be around the present atmosphere, Fitz said, "Michaela, my son, Jerry and friend James are outside please, can you keep them company?"
"Sure." Michaela wiped her hers and went outside.
There was complete quietness in the atmosphere, with tears running down faces. Olivia looked into the eyes of her mom for the first time since they got there. "Mom, you destroy me. I am broken. I'm just a useless piece of garbage walking around. There's nothing I'm good at. On my good days, I wish I was dead and on my bad days I sometimes take the extra miles to end it all, in fact I've tried that many times, but I'm not even good at that too."
Maya wanted to reach for Olivia, but Fitz gestured for her to let Olivia talk.
"I know I'm playing the victim here, but I have nothing else to play. You see this man right here," She pointed at Fitz, "I'm certain he cares for me deeply, and although I don't really know what love is, I think I love him, and I need him to believe it's not just my lust talking. On our way here, he said he believes me, but I know he has his doubts, which he has every right to, because deep down I have my doubts of my feelings for him too. How am I supposed to be certain my feelings for him are genuine when I've never experienced any kind of love. It's only a matter of time before I hurt him and it pains me to say this because he has been nothing but good to me. I'm not used to affection or someone caring for me. All I've known is chaos and depression, and I'm certain that what I deserve. And one day I know I'll actually succeed in ending it all because I can't stop fantasying how not being alive feels like. I think it feels good."
Fitz couldn't take Olivia talking like that. He got up with tears filled eyes and said he needed some air.
As Olivia watched Fitz leave, she felt like he was walking away from her forever. She broke into pieces, placed her head on the table and covered her face, crying like a baby.
Maya went to her and hugged her, crying too, "Honey, he's not leaving he's just going out for some air."
"But he now knows I still have such thoughts in my head." She allowed Maya to hold her and she cried some more.
"Oh, honey!"
Finally, she calmed down and looked at Maya, "I don't know what Michaela has gone through, but I believe she's going to be more than ok. Knowing you love and care for her is going to see her through, believe you me."
"I love you too, honey" Maya said to her.
But Olivia didn't buy that.
With red swollen eyes, Maya asked for forgiveness, "Livvie, I'll never be able to make it up to you and for that I'm sorry. After you left for college, it wasn't long before I got pregnant, I tried to get rid of it, but I was advised I'll die if I do because of the state I was at the time. With the amount of drug in my system the doctors told me Michaela was going to be a vegetable, but she beats the odds. Though I got clean during the pregnancy the chances for her was still slim…."
"You got clean when you weren't' in prison, but you didn't look for me." Olivia stated.
"Liv, I wasn't a good person back then, I was drug free but her father was still a big part of my addiction."
"He wasn't the only one you were seeing if my memory serves me well. In fact I remember you were going out with like three different guys at the same time. Was there even any prove to show she is his daughter?"
"After she was born DNA test was carried out and he is her father. He was the only one who stayed after I got pregnant. That's why I didn't look for you. I was scared of loneliness."
XXX
"Where is Jerry?" Fitz asked James.
"You guys are taking like forever in there. I'm dying to know what's going on." James said to Fitz.
"Olivia is having one mess up family to tell you the least."
"I just discovered she has a little sister, she and Jerry just went to get some soda."
"The little girl's father is Olivia's rapist." Fitz informed James
"Are you kidding me?" James asked in astonishment
"You have no idea."
"Is this why your eyes are red? When Michaela came out her eyes were red too."
Fitz didn't tell James why his eyes were red. He was thinking why Olivia was still having suicidal thoughts. He was certain Olivia was now in a good place. But her talking to her mom like that really hurts.
Jerry and Michaela appeared on the scene, "Dad, Olivia's little sister just showed me the whole place. So cool and everyone here knows her."
"Hey Sir, are they done talking?" Michaela asked Fitz.
"I don't think so, but I'll go and check."
As Fitz was leaving, Michaela called him back "Excuse me sir?"
"Michaela, you can call me Fitz."
"Are you and my si…Olivia closed?"
Jerry chuckled and informed Michaela, "They are more than close. They can't keep their eyes off each other."
"Jerry, hush. Why do you ask Michaela?" Fitz demanded.
"Well, I'd like to know what kind of person she is."
"I've told you already Michaela, she's awesome and the best," Jerry said.
Fitz didn't know what to do with Jerry, "Michaela, beyond all what you've seen in there, she has a good heart. She's a nice person to tell you the least."
Michaela bowed down her head, "I wonder if she'll ever forgive me."
"She's not really angry with you, Michaela you haven't done anything wrong. With time I'm certain you guys are going to be good friends."
Jerry chipped in again, "Yes, she told me she always wanted a sibling."
"She did?" Fitz, James and Michaela all asked at the same time.
"Yes she did."
xxx
"Accepting Jesus as my Lord and my personal savor inside this place saved my life Olivia. It's only in him you can get the peace you really need."
Olivia realized she wasn't even mad at her mom like she thought she would be. She was tired of everything, "Good for you. I'm happy you are in a good place. So, I heard about your parole, the reason you told Karl you didn't want to talk to me or see me."
"No, Olivia we won't talk about that. Concentrate on yourself and find peace. Whether I get out or not I'm happy you this happen, and I'll keep praying for God to give you the peace you need. I hope you and Michaela could get to know each other."
"No mom." She called Maya mom for the first time, and this did not go unnoticed by Maya.
Olivia couldn't imagine getting to know the daughter of her rapist. That would be an unbearable reminder of a past she wished she could erase from her memory. "I'm not that strong of a person I'm sorry. I can't deal with the constant reminder of the worst day of my life."
"It's ok, I understand."
"Who is she living with while you are in here?" Olivia asked.
"She's here most of the time, she's free to visit me at any time, but she's with my mother, your grandma."
Olivia was astonished at this, "Your mother? But you didn't want anything to do with her. You forbid me for asking about her when I was eight. You said she's a cracked head and you can't wait for her to die so you get her house."
"Wow, I really said all that?" Maya asked.
"Yes you did."
"I can't deny that. I know I've said and done far worse, but our relationship has changed, she and I are completely different people now. She took Michaela after I got convicted. She fought for Michaela when child services wanted her. I'm hopeful we'll get to a good place too."
Olivia wasn't ready for that. She decided to change the topic, "I think JC would like to see you, he's outside."
"JC is here? You guys were inseparable."
"And then we weren't."
Maya thought of the reason why, but didn't want to go deeper "I'm sure you guys are now. I'd like to see him."
"Let me go get him, he's with Fitz's son. The guard said only two visitors at a time."
"Don't worry, I'll talk to the guard, you guys can all come in."
"I heard you are loved by everyone here."
"Well, not everyone."
XXX
Olivia met Michaela and Fitz coming in. She told them Maya would like to see James, and Jerry could come too.
While Michaela went to call for James and Jerry, Olivia asked Fitz if they could talk about her candid statement earlier.
"We'll have plenty of time to talk. When we get back, OK?" Fitz said to her.
"OK."
JC and Maya got reacquainted and they all chatted for a while. Then Olivia said it was time for them to leave. They all got up to leave.
Michaela inquiring from Maya, "Mom did you ask her?"
"Michaela!" Maya called out, trying to hush her daughter.
Olivia was now curious, "Asked me what?"
Maya couldn't demand any thing from Olivia, "Nothing, Olivia."
Not sure when she'd get another chance, Michaela insisted, "No, mom when do you think we are going to see her again?" She turned to Olivia, "Mom is really sick and we're not certain of this parole stuff, grandma would be taken to a nursing home. I need a guardian or child service would come for me."
"And I'm supposed to be your guardian?" Olivia demanded.
"There's no one else," Michaela replied.
