Spending several months amongst his fellow werewolves gave Remus a whole new appreciation for those around him. Had he truly taken his friends for granted? He met few of his kind in his travels that knew the warmth of a kind word or a helping hand. One man, the first werewolf he spoke to, served as Remus' motivation through his mission.

The man the nurse had been tending to in Arthur's ward had been bitten only 2 weeks before. Remus remembered the ill feeling that accompanied his bite. The feverish ache was present on the man's moist forehead. He was bitter, as he had every right to be. Not a single friend had visited him since the attack. The corners of Remus' mouth turned down as he remembered how little the man cared for his words of encouragement. His mission was to inspire his kind to fight for Dumbledore, for their freedom.

Albus had impressed upon Remus how the werewolf community would serve as a strong ally for their cause. Like the giants, which Hagrid had visited several months earlier, the werewolves were notorious for siding with the dark arts. Remus eagerly accepted the assignment, as much to aid in the fight against Lord Voldemort as to help change the werewolf public image. A historical battle in which a sizeable number of werewolves fought for the side of good could only help their situation.

So far, however, he found few of his kind that were willing to side with Dumbledore; too bitter and isolated to care the outcome of such a war. Each new colony he went to, he learned how unwelcome his offer was.

"Why fight a loosing battle, Lupin?"

"With Lord Voldemort, we'll be free!"

Every day Remus was met with more and more refusals and his spirit began to dampen. For several days he was only angry with his kind. How they could be so sure that Voldemort was the key to fixing the werewolf persecution was mind boggling to him. He couldn't make them understand that a life under Voldemort was a life of constant fear of death. He pressed on, roaming the ignored and unwanted sections of Muggle cities, where the highest concentration of werewolves seemed to hide. Unfortunately, he found that he stuck out like a sore thumb.

His hair wasn't spiked nearly enough. His clothes, though shabby, would have suited him better had he not tried to patch the holes. He caught his reflection in a shop window and wished that Tonks was with him – he convinced himself that she would give him some street cred. That desire only grew as his hopes were further dashed by the werewolves. When he wasn't trying to recruit, he took to sitting in pubs, watching the people around him, waiting to see the signs of a candidate. He spent hours there, eyes locking on anyone with pink hair. He grinned anytime he saw someone wearing a Weird Sisters t-shirt.

Finally, Remus arrived at his final hope for some allies. It was a small colony outside of Galway. If these men and women turned him down, he'd have to return to the Order empty handed; feeling a failure.

"You lost, Grampa?" asked a rough male voice from behind him. Remus furrowed his brow as he turned, inconspicuously drawing his wand and hiding it behind him. The man in question was twirling his wand between his fingers like a drummer twirls his drumsticks. He had a sly grin and was wearing old jeans and a leather jacket. Remus let his wand arm drop to his side.

"As a matter of fact, I'm looking for someone called Cael." He asked confidently. The man in front of him, who couldn't have been more than 20, took a few steps forward; shoulders back, chest raised.

"What you want with him, old man?" he asked. Remus bit his tongue at the second jab at his appearance.

"I have some business with him. Albus Dumbledore sent me." This seemed to impress the young man, if only slightly. He threw his head back and eyed Remus suspiciously.

"Only one type of person wants business with Cael. Let me see your mark, old man." Remus scowled at the menace questioning him as he slid up the left sleeve of his robe to reveal a scar that stood out amongst the others on his skin. This scar was the perfect impression of two rows of teeth. They still shone bright red as if they had been made earlier that morning. The veins that ran through that portion of his upper arm stood out like dark purple roots spreading out beneath his skin.

"Satisfied?" he asked with a burning acidity. The man smirked and turned and headed into the patch of forest he had emerged from. Remus took that as his cue to follow and let his sleeve drop down as he proceeded into the forest, wand still held fast.

"Mr. Cael, there's a man here for you. He checks out alright." The young man said as he led Remus into what must have been the nest of their colony. Being in the heart of the forest, the camp didn't need to be particularly hidden. The makeshift beds and open campfire reminded Remus of the way Muggle gypsies lived. A tall man, older than Remus, stood from his bed where he lay with a woman, much younger than he, and strode toward Remus. His face was scarred and disfigured and his nose appeared to have been broken several times and was never set right. He had a broad chest and looked as though he could have been wearing Quidditch padding under his torn robes. Remus cleared his throat and held out his hand.

"My name is Remus Lupin. Albus Dumbledore sent me to have a few words with you." Cael sized Remus up and, deciding he was alright, shook his hand. The man's firm grip matched his size. Cael led Remus to the most private area of the camp – if you could call it private – where Remus began to argue his case.

Cael listened to everything Remus had to say. He nodded at points he seemed to agree with and rested his chin in his hand thoughtfully at others. Remus came to the end of his pitch, which he threw at Cael with far more enthusiasm than he had with any of his other attempts. This was his last hope. When he finished, there were several moments of silence in which Cael appeared to be mulling Remus' pitch over. Finally, Cael spoke, "Got a woman in your life, Lupin?" he asked. Remus was taken aback by the wildly off topic question, as well as by the image of Tonks that flashed through his mind. Before Remus was able to answer, Cael continued. "I had one, before I was bitten. We were going to be married. She stuck by me through my first transformation." A darkness crossed Cael's face as he remembered. "She didn't live to see the next morning. Ever since then, I vowed that I would stick to my kind. I would surround myself with men and women that wouldn't judge me, who I could do little harm to in my animal state. Tell me, Remus," he paused as he thought, "Why should I break my own promise to help Dumbledore in this useless battle?" Remus felt his heart sink.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Cael. However, Dumbledore is different. His allies are different. He allowed me, a young werewolf, into his school - an unprecedented move. The fight isn't useless, Cael. If you help us fight, not only would it strengthen our numbers, but everyone in the wizarding world will see that werewolves are not the terrors society believes us to be. Help us fight and be a part of that." Remus begged. Cael sighed as he thought again and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I can't risk doing harm to any witch or wizard. Keep fighting the good fight, though." Cael said as he stood and returned to his nook where the young woman draped herself across his torso. Remus watched them for a moment. She was small looking, delicate. However, the deep gash along her left cheek stood out in sharp contrast to her frail appearance. He knew that once a month, this young woman was not as breakable as she appeared. With a heavy heart and more things to think about than he had started with, Remus set out on his journey home where he knew a very different kind of woman was waiting to greet him.


Tonks had grown rather apathetic to the cause. It had been months since anyone had heard a word from Remus. She was sure Dumbledore had sent him to his death. When she thought of what those vicious monsters must have done – but no; Remus was one of them. She refused to live her life prejudiced against his kind. To hate them would be to hate Remus as well. All the same, Tonks couldn't fathom what would be taking him this long. Molly Weasley told her time and again that Tonks was being impatient. Remus had to travel all across the country and into Ireland. There were hundreds upon hundreds of colonies to visit. This wasn't a day trip, Molly would tell her.

None the less, Tonks wanted Remus home. It wasn't until nearly three months after Remus had left that Tonks finally got her wish.

During Order meetings, Tonks had taken to sitting at the back, arms crossed, reciting her favorites from the Weird Sisters in her head. What was the point in listening? There was no news from Remus, there never was. She had just finished tapping her foot to the chorus of You Tore the Heart-Strings Right Out of My Wand – and ignored the 100th grunt of disapproval from Mad-Eye – when a few words from her former headmaster caught her attention.

"And, finally, the last bit of news. As you all know, our good friend Remus Lupin has been away these last few months, on assignment. I have received word from him that he will be returning to us from his long travels. That's all I have for tonight's meeting, I wish you all well." Albus signed off and the Order members moved to exit the dingy old dining room. Tonks jumped up from her seat and pushed against the flow of the crowd until she finally reached Dumbledore, who was just saying his goodbyes to Kingsley Shacklebolt, and tapped his shoulder.

"Excuse me, sir, but did Remus happen to say when he'd be returning?" Tonks asked, trying to mask her excitement with casual interest. Albus, of course, could see through most disguises and smiled knowingly at his former student.

"I'm afraid he didn't give an exact time frame. Don't worry, Nymphadora, he will return in due time. Will you be staying for dinner?" he asked. Tonks grinned slightly and shook her head. She never once called Dumbledore out on his use of her first name. He had once told her that he took pride in being able to call her Nymphadora, and therefore used it as often as he could.

"No, I can't stay tonight. Tons of paperwork, you know." She answered. Dumbledore nodded.

"Ah, yes, an Auror's work is never done. It's a shame; I heard Molly has prepared her homemade strawberry ice cream. I don't eat strawberry ice cream, myself. Last time I tried the desert, it turned out to be blood flavored ice cream. I should have known, of course, as it was a vampire who served me." Albus finished his story to a chuckle from Tonks. He smiled cheerily back at her and with a small bow of his head, left Headquarters.


Several days passed, and still no sign of Remus. What could be taking him so long, Tonks asked herself. She found that the nights were becoming increasingly difficult to remember. This was likely due to the nights spent with Sirius up in Buckbeak's attack room, passing a bottle of mead - left at the house by Hagrid - for hours. The routine was broken one night when a noise brought the two out of a drunken rendition of "You Stole My Cauldron but You Can't Have my Heart."

The two crept down the stairs, peering over the railing to see that the front hall was empty. Walburga's painting lay silent and dormant behind the moth eaten curtain. Tonks gripped the railing as they continued down the stairs. Upon reaching the kitchen, the two saw a shadowy figure hunched over by the counter. It was dark and all that could be seen was the outline of the tall, thin person. Sirius drew his wand and aimed it at the intruder. Tonks shifted her weight to gain better balance on the step. The board she stood on let out a strained groan, which caught the mysterious being's attention. As he turned, Sirius noticed a long thin extension protruding from the person's hand; a wand. Without a second thought, Sirius yelled out "Expelliarmus!" and the wand flew across the room and landed with a soft clatter on the ground and slid underneath the pantry.

"Honestly, Sirius, was that necessary?" The mystery guest asked in a very familiar and all too welcome voice. Sirius flipped on the lights and revealed an exhausted looking Remus standing beside the counter, a small tin container of tea bags behind him. Sirius, without even beginning an apology, smiled from ear to ear.

"Welcome home, Moony!" he cried, throwing his arms out, forgetting an unsteady Tonks stood behind him. She threw her hands up to catch his arm that threatened to clobber her face. Sirius moved into the kitchen and caught his friend in a tight embrace, which Remus returned. Tonks remained on the stairs, smiling at the two – mostly Remus – her back against the wall and one foot hanging off the bottom step. The two old friends broke their hug and Remus rested his eyes on the person he now realized he had missed the most.

"Wotcher, Professor." Tonks said as the two smiled at each other. She let her foot fall to the floor and made to casually move to give Remus a friendly hug. However, as most attempts at skill and grace failed Tonks, she promptly caught her foot on a chair leg and toppled forward right into Remus' arms. Remus laughed.

"Lovely to see you too, Tonks." Tonks blushed and tried to stand up, but wobbled on the spot a bit as she looked up him. Remus' brow furrowed slightly. "Have you been drinking?" he asked. Tonks felt a twinge of shame creep over her and shook her head.

"'Course not." She said, however a small hiccup that emitted the odor of strong liquor gave her away. Remus eyed Sirius accusingly. Sirius, however, was too far gone to notice and just smiled impishly at his friend. After a few silent and awkward moments, Sirius cleared his throat.

"You know, I think we left the mead up in Buckbeak's room. I should go and get it. Drunken Hippogriffs - never good for a laugh." And with that, the dark haired fugitive slipped upstairs, leaving Tonks and Remus alone in the kitchen. Remus gently guided Tonks to a chair where he sat her down a d moved back to the counter for a few moments before returning with two cups of weak tea.

"When Dumbledore said you'd be coming home, I expected you sooner than this." Tonks said. Remus sat down beside her and sipped his tea, adding another lump of sugar.

"To tell the truth, I've been back for several days now." He answered apologetically. Tonks glanced up at him.

"Where were you?" she asked as her stomach tightened and her heart picked up a small pace.

"The Leaky Cauldron, of all places. I had a few things to sort out before I returned to Headquarters so Tom the innkeeper was kind enough to put me up for a few days. He told me any friend of Professor Dumbledore is a friend of his." He explained. Tonks stared at him. The bleariness had left her eyes and she now felt sober.

"Was it hard, living with the werewolves for so long?" she asked. Remus looked sideways at her.

"When did you find out?" he asked. Tonks sighed and looked down at the table.

"A little while after you left. Sirius told me." She noticed a change in his expression that clearly stated Sirius was in for it. "Don't blame him, Remus, I made him tell me. Turns out Sirius isn't the best secret keeper." She added with a trace amount of humor. Remus turned to look at her fully. When he didn't say anything, Tonks continued, "After all…he told you about my boggart." She said quietly. Remus locked his eyes in hers, turning things over in his mind. Before Remus could stifle what he knew was surely coming, Tonks blurted out in the softest and most sincere voice she could, "I missed you." Remus closed his eyes and turned his head away, letting out a low sigh. After a few moments of agonizing silence, Remus finally answered,

"I missed you too, Tonks." There was a definite trace of reluctance in his voice. Tonks, however, didn't pick up on it and brightened at the words she had hoped she'd hear. "But it doesn't mean anything." He continued, deciding it was better to nip any feelings she harbored for him in the bud before they got worse. Tonks' face dropped.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Remus turned to look at her. His face was stern and serious. He looked like the angry professor scolding his student. Tonks refused to look away.

"I can't be with you, Tonks. I knew that before I left and I know it even more now." His mind momentarily flashed back to his meeting with Cael in Ireland. "I'm dangerous, Tonks. I couldn't stand it if I brought any harm to you. You have to understand that." He instantly knew that she didn't understand.

"Dangerous? Remus, you wouldn't hurt a flee unless you were provoked!" she argued. Remus sighed.

"Most days that might be true. But once a month, I'm not myself. There isn't a trace of me left. I couldn't live with myself if I knew that I'd hurt you in that state." His features softened as he imagined the heartache Cael must have felt the morning after his wife had died. When he could see Tonks was beginning to argue again, he stopped her. "I'm not willing to bend on this, Tonks. I'm dangerous and I can't put you at risk." Remus' brow knitted together as he watched Tonks rub her face on her hands, pushing them thru her hair.

"I can't believe this." She said as she looked up at him. "You're prejudiced against yourself!" she exclaimed. This was not what Remus had been expecting. He sat back, eyebrows high up on his forehead.

"Beg pardon?" he asked. Tonks nodded.

"It's the truth. You hate those registry forms. You hate anyone who won't hire you because of what you are. You write off anyone who won't accept you. And yet, here you are telling me to bugger off because you think you're dangerous! What makes you so different from every other blighter who turned you down because you were dangerous?" She was nearly shouting now. Remus slammed his fist on the table, which made Tonks jump.

"Yes, Tonks, I'm denying myself something I want because of what I am. Maybe I am just as bad as the rest. The difference being, I'm telling myself to bugger off to keep you safe! I care about you far too much to see you get hurt, especially at my own hands!" Tonks stared hard at Remus. She looked into his eyes, trying to find some weak spot, something he had overlooked. However, what she found there made her bite back every argument she had. His eyes were begging, pleading with her. He really believed he was dangerous. A loud grinding sounded from the feet of Tonks' chair as she stood up to leave. She paused by Remus and placed a hand on his shoulder, which he held on to, not meeting her eyes.

"I think you're making a mistake, but I'm not about to make you do something you'll regret. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me. Goodnight, Professor." And with that, she slipped her hand out of his grasp and left Remus alone to second guess himself for the rest of the night.