Note 13
Mom,
Well, it's the day of the race now. Did you like the flag ceremony? I think it was the best one we've ever had. I can't wait until the race. It starts in only half an hour from now.
Oh…I have another question about my father. I know you refused to tell me before, but was my father like Qui-Gon? Is he my father? Please tell me he is. I've always wanted a father like him. Well fine…but I want to know something about my father. But yeah, you probably have a reason…but…but mom…everyone else knows about their fathers.
What do you think of Padmé now? If you see Padmé can you make sure she's safe and everything. You have to look out for her, and she has to look out for you. That's the way I want it.
I do want to risk my life for these people…because they need my help, and I know I can help them. That's what a life is for. I may not be a high class person, but I can do all that I can to help others so that the galaxy can be a better place.
I'm really glad that you finally agreed to let me race.
But why can't I always trust my feelings? That's the way I LIVE…that's the way I can race pods, and how I can do so many other things. Qui-Gon has actually been encouraging me to trust my feelings. He whispered that to me just now, as he was preparing me for the race. He told me to, use my feelings, to trust my instinct…and stuff like that. Besides that, I think trusting feelings is part of the Force or something. Qui-Gon has hinted that to me several times, and he said that it is by his feelings that he believes that I can win the race. I think all Jedi are like that.
Well I found Padmé through feelings.
Why don't people admit to having those feelings that I think are somehow tied to the Force? It's awesome! And I think Qui-Gon DOES have faster reflexes than Jar-Jar. Qui-Gon said something about the Force giving Jedi the ability to have quick reflexes. He is sure that I have them.
Of course I like Padmé! Didn't I tell you that I'm going to marry her yet? I really, really, really like her…more than I have ever liked anyone else. And yes, I do know she's "quite a bit older than me." She's 14, mom. That's only 5 years difference. Besides that, can't love cover gaps in age? Kitster told me his parents were 6 years apart in age, and I've heard of people who had parents 11 years apart in age. It's possible. I know it might seem like a lot right now, and I don't care. I just have this feeling that I'm going to marry her.
Hmmm…well I hope I have what it takes to become a Jedi. It would be nice knowing that I COULD be one…but I'll never get to be a Jedi because I'm a slave, and Watto owns me. There's just no way.
Don't worry, mom. I'll be careful; I promise. I'll be okay, and no matter what happens, remember that I love you, Mom. I haven't been killed in a race yet, and I'm not planning on getting killed this time, okay. Qui-Gon said that if I weren't strong with the Force, I would have died at the beginning of the first race I was ever in.
Oh…I hadn't thought of that. Padmé a handmaiden is a top position with lots of hard work…I think I am liking more and more about Padmé every day. I told her that she was going to marry me, but I don't think she thought I was serious. She told me that I would always be the little boy she knew on Tatooine, and she doesn't think we'll get married. I don't care. I'm going to marry her, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, including her.
The feelings thing is "one of those Jedi things." Qui-Gon told me. I don't know what all the Jedi can co either….but I hope that Qui-Gon will tell me. He's really nice to me and answers all my questions…he is the awesomest Jedi ever!
Okay…okay…mom he said he was checking my blood to make sure nothing got passed my "defenses." But mom, I don't get sick that often…I mean really sick. The only thing that usually gets me sick is asthma…but not much else. Honestly. So why would he do that?
Well I need to get back into my pod because the race is about to start.
Your son,
Anakin
