For Tigpop and Hushedgreylily, for being with me every step of the way and for always being awesome.


Coda 6

Her house was just as she'd left it, perfectly neat and organised. A pile of post lay on the small table and Nikki thought with regret that she'd forgotten to cancel the cleaner, she'd only expected to be away a few days. She lifted the pile of letters and sat on the stairs. The light streamed through the glass of her front door, making patterns on the hardwood floor.

Most of the post was rubbish. She separated them into piles and sat with the papers around her until she was startled by her doorbell. She was surprised to find herself clutching Amira's unicorn. Nervously she peered through the crack left by the chain to see a delivery man holding out a small cardboard box.

"It needs signing for…" the delivery man said.

Nikki closed and reopened the door, signed the screen and brought the package back inside, opening it as she climbed back to her perch on the stairs.

It was a new phone.

"Hello," she couldn't help saying as she cradled the phone in her hands and attached the charger. Watching the screen light up, she drank in the light from the phone. She checked the time and used the landline to call into the office. It was early, but Thomas was likely to be in.

"Oh, hi Nikki," Thomas said distractedly. "You're back already?"

"I'm back." It was all she could think of to say.

"You're not planning on coming in, are you?" Thomas asked, without disguising the horrified note in his voice.

"No, not yet, I was just calling to let you know I was back and to say thank you for the phone."

"Phone?"

"Yes, the phone, it was just delivered, I …"

"I don't know anything about a phone Nikki. I'm glad you got back safely, but this isn't a great time. Can I call you later? I've got people here, we're just about to start…"

"It's ok Thomas. Go back to work."

The call was almost disconnected before she'd even finished the sentence. Thomas was back to his usual dismissive self. He'd been so different in Mexico, attentive, caring. Maybe it had just been an inconvenient time as he'd said.

She tried Jack's number, but it just went straight to voicemail.

Clarissa had been pleased to hear she was back, or so she'd said. She hadn't seen Jack since his return and she didn't know anything about Nikki's new phone. That conversation had almost been shorter than the one she'd had with Thomas. No one in the office could have arranged the phone without it passing by Clarissa's radar.

Nikki hugged her knees to her chest and felt the early morning sunshine on her face. There was only one other place that phone could have come from…

"Look after Nikki…"

He'd probably organised it to have a tracker in.

It was early but she dialled the number.

"Harry, it's Nikki. Sorry did I wake you?"

"No, I was awake." Harry lied, his voice thick with sleep.

"I just wanted to say thanks for having me and thanks for the phone."

There was a long silence, Nikki wondered whether Harry had in fact fallen back to sleep.

"I'm glad it arrived safely,"

"You didn't have to…"

"I know. But I did. Is it ok?"

"It's more than ok, Harry."

"They said your contacts were backed up, you'll have to take it in and get them to sort that. You'll have a new number I'm afraid."

"Harry, it's great. It was really thoughtful of you, I don't think I would have managed…" Another wave of lethargy hit her, she could feel the tow of it now, pulling her further and further down.

"I know how it is. It's ok, Nikki."

It was the first time she'd really considered it. She'd been so busy making comparisons between herself and Amira that she'd not really registered that Harry had been through it all too. Losing friends and colleagues, fighting every step of the way for Amira. Battling his own grief and living through it all again vicariously with Amira.

"Maybe this time I'll get it right." She heard him say.

"Did you get it wrong before?" Nikki asked. "Listen Harry, Amira gave me her unicorn. She must have put it in my bag with the picture. I hope you've not spent ages looking for it, or that she's not too upset."

"Ah, that's what she did with it. She just said it had 'gone.' Listen Nikki, don't worry I have a spare hidden away. She wanted you to have it and if it gets to be a problem, I'll get the other one out."

"Thanks, Harry. Go back to sleep." She said, her voice wavering.

"You're sure you're ok?"

There was a sniff in response.

"You know I'm serious don't you?" Harry said, all traces of sleep now gone from his voice. "Promise me you'll think about it."

"You mean it's only a spare unicorn you've got hidden away."

"Exactly." Harry replied.

She'd given herself six months earlier. Six months to get well and decide what she wanted. Six months suddenly seemed like a long time. She still needed to get well, she knew she was losing the battle, the strength to keep smiling and carry on was waning, the mental alertness to sort out all the problems, it was all getting so hard to keep hold of. Everything she knew was unravelling. Her identity was so tied up with her work; even that seemed to be untethered by her exile from the office. She was so tired. Just so tired.

"I'm sorry to have woken you. I'm tired now."

"Call me when you need me."

When; she noted he said, not if.

"Anytime. I mean it Nikki."

"And you'll be waiting?" She found herself lighting the unicorn and watching the patterns it made in her hand, despite the surrounding sunshine.

"I'll be waiting." Harry promised. "We'll both be waiting. Now go and get some rest and let me go back to sleep," he added a more light hearted sound to his voice.

"Did I ever tell you that I loved you?"

"I don't need to hear it Nikki, I just need to see it. Salaam Alaikum."

"Wa Alaikum Salaam. Peace be upon you too."

"I thought you went to the play session?"

"Amira's a good teacher."

"Clearly, there's not a hint of Afrikaans! Bye Nikki. Talk soon," Harry said and disconnected.

"Bye Harry." Nikki whispered to the empty phone. She went upstairs, each step felt like a mountain of effort. She brushed her teeth, feeling a malevolent gaze upon her from the shadowy corners of her room. She went to find Amira's picture and stuck it to the bottom of her mirror, cutting out the reflection of the painted man, she knew wasn't really there. She doubted that in future days she would be so certain. She was glad of Amira's black and white picture. She could make copies and cover all the mirrors, all the places she saw the evil from the corner of her eye.

She looked deep into the picture at the arms reaching out to her out of the blackness. She just had to hold on.

Leaving the curtains open she lay down on the bed, holding tight to Amira's unicorn. That was all she needed to do. Hold on, sleep and heal. As she drifted off to sleep she imagined the feel of Harry's arms around her, grounding her and holding her tight. He'd promised to wait.

She knew she would return.


There you go then, thanks for sticking with this. I always love to hear comments, good, bad or indifferent or even just an 'ahh.' All characters belong to the BBC, except Amira, she's mine and I do rather like her. Arabic help from Google Translate, so apologies for any incorrectness and a Salaam Alaikum, (Peace be with you) to you all.