A/N: Would you like to know what happened to Hermione? I bet you would...but I'm going to keep you waiting for a little bit longer...I'm sorry, not sorry, about that! :D
But on we go:
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Is this really how quickly it goes away
I can't feel my emotions arrive today
'Cause I still love how you say my name
I still taste you kissing my pain away
Still see your tears through the rain
These burning sensations sustain
Feel the distance bring us closer
Water would cool and soothe my pain
If we could touch now, just hold on now
Bridges would never burn again
~Poets Of The Fall, The Distance~
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He thought he'd somehow got the wrong portkey and landed in the middle of battlefield.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" A womans voice was yelling and firing hexes, that the others tried to dodge.
"You can't just make me stay here! I won't take it!" The flame hair of Ginny Weasley was flowing around her as she fought, "I'm not going to let them go without me! Don't you dare touch me!"
McGonagall had tried to reach her arm to get her to calm down.
"Weaslette!" He took a step forward and it seemed that they realized just now he had arrived.
The element of surprise was on his side, because her wand stopped just enough to give Minerva time to disarm her.
"Why don't you just use that pretty little head of yours and think what is best for you…" He drawled.
Funny, how years of suppressing and hiding his emotions paid of now. His heart still felt like it was going to shatter in thousands of pieces any minute, but he still could manage a calm indifferent voice to come out.
"Malfoy?" Her eyes went wide, and she looked to McGonagall.
"Is this a trap? Have they gotten to you already?"
The professor shook her head, "Mr. Malfoys loyalties lie with the light, he has proven himself."
The she Weasel stared at him with narrow suspicious eyes, "What happened to you that got you turn your boat?"
"My side tried to kill me…"
"Not good enough." She huffed, "I saw you on McGregor house last fall…"
"That was when it happened." He kept his voice as cold as hers was.
This was good…kept his thoughts away from Granger.
"But that's not why you're here now?"
He shook his head, no.
This was not Hermione, this girl had never seen him as anything but a threat…and a dead eater. This girl, wasn't as forgiving…She would have gladly left him in the forest to die.
"Then prey tell me, why should I trust you, or anyone who trusts you here."
"Because Hermione does."
Or did… The pain the thought caused.
"And because I know, why you shouldn't be fighting." He looked at her challenging.
Her eyes went wide, "no…" She whispered.
"Does he know? Did he send you? Or is this Granger's doings?"
The room was dead silent now. Ginny was breathing heavy, staring him.
"I told no one, but her…" She breath out.
"You should have told him." His voice was a low growl. Why would he even care?
The girl completely broke down and started to cry. He saw Andromeda and McGonagall glace each other and give a breath of relief.
"I couldn't! He's a mess! I'm a mess! And the world is fucked up! I…He…He couldn't have taken it!" She screamed now.
"And when I wanted to, it was too late! They had gone, and I tried to follow but Hermione stopped me."
"She told you, it's not about you anymore?" He could picture her, eyes blazing, determined to make Weaslette see.
The red head nodded. Tears streamed down her face, "I hate this is you, I talk to!" She cried out in frustration, "I'm not supposed to just take you words and start opening up! I should kill you right in the spot! But you know what? Hermione and I talked about you just few days ago. It was about capturing the death eaters and a chance on redemption…She told me that we should consider that you were brought up to those ideas and your name came up… I thought there was something weird in a way she said your name."
She had started to pace around the room, her face troubled again. He noticed the older witches had disappeared and left them alone. Probably still listening somewhere nearby.
"I didn't mean for this to happen!"
"Well, you should have considered that before you let…"
"Shut up, Malfoy!" She whipped around, "Let's talk about you for a change! Hermione trusts you enough to tell you my secrets? How did that happen?"
"I thought you bet your money for them, Red."
Both Draco and Ginny turned to the door, startled.
He should have known already to be prepared for weird encounters between people he didn't know knew each other. But he was still completely blown off guard when Weaslette suddenly screamed: "Blaise" And rushed to actually hug the man, standing by the doorway.
"How are you here?"
There was something strange in a way his friend looked at the girl in front of him. "We've been here for a while actually…me and Theo. We defected, run and 'Dromeda took us in…everyone but the people here thinks we're dead."
This was just strange, "You two know each other?"
Blaise grinned and shrugged.
"She was in on out bet."
Well, this was unexpected… "What?"
"She overheard us and wanted in."
He stared at them, "Fourth year?"
They nodded.
"So you're with her? that's why you know?" Weaslette was staring at him with a whole different expression now, "I knew she had something going on, but she kept telling me it was the war. I told her, she couldn't expect me to believe that the war made her smile like that! And the things she suddenly just figured out?"
"I told her…"
"So, you do fight for us?"
"Does this look like fighting to you?" He started to get frustrated again.
Suddenly her eyes went wide, "The blood wards! She told us she figured out a way to get in the manor! It has something to do with you, doesn't it?"
And it was back to remembering Granger was in danger…
"She is using my blood."
"How?" Blaise spoke up, "There is no way the wards will accept her…unless…"
"Unless Malfoy blood runs in her system," He nodded
Ginny had lifted her hands to her mouth.
"How did you manage that?" Blaise's voice was tight.
"Muggle medicine technology… trust me, it was not pretty."
"Oh god." Ginny whispered.
Blaise whistled, "You two…I don't even know what to say…"
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Later that night, Weaslette had finally gave up her fight after having a long private conversation with McGonagall. Everyone had gone to their rooms, if not to sleep, at least to be alone…
He was sitting in the kitchen with Blaise. Not really willing to go try to sleep or go and lie alone in the bed he and Granger once shared.
"She is pregnant, isn't she?" Blaise asked suddenly.
"Who? Granger?"
"No, idiot! Weaslette…Ginny." his face was troubled.
Draco nodded, "How did you figure that out?"
"I heard you in the morning, didn't take me that long to figure out… Is it Potters'?"
He nodded, "Apparently."
Blaise fell silent.
When he spoke again his voice was distant, "Do you see it for yourself? a family?"
He shook his head, "I never thought I'd live that long…"
Silence.
Draco studied his friends' sad expression when it hit him: "Her? you wanted her? Red?"
Blaise was staring at the table ahead of him, "I actually thought I stood a chance once…"
Great, another thing he had been kept in the dark about, "When was that?"
"After the bet in the yule ball we became kind of acquaintances. First it was just sitting in the same table in the library. Then we started to study together, to fly together and to spar each other. You could say we were friends…Or I let her believe I just wanted to be friends. She told me things she said barely anyone knew… Did you know she was possessed by a part of Voldemort's soul most of her first year?"
Draco shook his head.
Blaise went on, "She told me she couldn't be my friend anymore when she started to date Potter. She said it pained her too much…I never asked why…I assumed it was, because we were kind of enemies… Then she came back to school for her sixth year and Potter had left her. She was so furious with him. She begged for my forgiveness, told me she was so blinded by her will to be with Harry she forgot she should never let go of her friends... Those who had been there for her…We studied together again and with Potter out of the way, we grew quite close…"
He saw where this was going…but Weaslette had been with Potter the last five years, hadn't she?
"She is a spitfire, Draco. She's alive, and real and fierce and willful. I told her more than once, she should be Slytherin… And I felt like she saw me for who I was, and not this cold, hard, evil snake everyone else saw… I think I loved her…and for three glorious months she was mine…"
He loved her?
"What happened?"
"War happened...Before I could tell her…anything…Potter was back, and the Dark Lord was at the gates. When it was over her brother was dead and I was a death eater. I was a hazard for her safety, so I told her we couldn't be anything…That we were just blinded by the situation. That it wasn't real and that she belonged to Potter…I wanted to save her and for that, I lost her."
"You loved her?" Why hadn't he had any clue this was going on? He had been there, at Hogwarts, too!
Oh, but he had been yelling around the Weasleys were blood traitors…no wonder no one told him...
"I think I still do... but it's too late, she'll never be mine."
Silence fell between them once again.
Then Blaise laughed humorlessly, "Look at us! We are a disgrace for Slytherin! Two death eaters falling for the heroe's girls. How can we even dream of standing a chance?"
He was right…How could they think, girls like Ginny and Hermione would choose them over Potter and Weasley?
Suddenly he was grateful that his girl was out there fighting when Blaise's girl was here safe, yes, but pregnant with another man's child, not the other way around.
"She wasn't Weasley's girl anymore, when she found me in the forest." He stated.
"She wasn't? Damn! I thought you stole her."
He shook his head, "She told me Weasley still wouldn't believe she's not going back to him."
"I never figured out what she saw in that oaf anyway."
"Neither did I." He muttered.
"So, tell me? How did that happen? You managed to dodge the question last time you were here."
"What?"
But he knew what Blaise meant.
"Well, you and her of course! I mean, how did you get past yourselves to become that close?"
He shrugged, "She had a strange urge to somehow save me. She told me she's not going to feed me propaganda or ask me to choose a side. But her mere existence is propaganda! A few weeks living with her and I couldn't remember why I had thought muggleborns don't deserve magic. A few months and I couldn't remember why I thought she's an insufferable know-it-all. A few more and i couldn't recall which part of her wasn't beautiful…"
Her wild curls and light laugh filled his thoughts as he thought of her. He looked at his friend, "With her…I feel more whole and less lost…Like I could be something more…someone better…"
Blaise nodded, yes, he knew…
And the night ticked on…
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The uncertainty seemed to be hanging around the house. No one talked much, no one speculated. On days, they tried to keep up this stupid overly cheery mood, because of Teddy. But Draco could have made a bet the child saw right through it… that's how miserably they failed to hide their concern.
Blaise and Theo, who had less to lose, tried to keep his mind of things. They played chess, talked about their years in Hogwarts, tried to remember as many spells as they could.
They even went outside to toss a ball to each other. But they didn't have brooms so, no flying to clear his mind. But Ginny and Teddy joined them and for a brief moment there, with Teddy running across the yard yelling: "I'm a staw chaser, you can't catch me!" and Theo doing a huge tiger leap to catch him, they actually laughed…
all of them…
Even him… even Weaslette.
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For the last two nights he hadn't even tried to sleep and refused to go up to their room. Every now and then he would dose out on the sofa but woke up with a jolt a few minutes later.
By three in the morning Ginny joined him.
"We need to think what happens if they fail." She sat down in an armchair across the room.
"Granger told me she'll be gone for a week at most."
He had tried to avoid this subject…
"And then?"
"If nothing by then, or bad news before that, we run."
"We?"
"Me, Blaise, Theo…" He glanced at the girl, "And she made me promise we'll take you too."
She huffed angrily: "Why is everyone thinking they can decide for me? I'm not a fucking baby!"
"She said you'd put up a fight."
"You wouldn't force me, would you?" Her voice told him, fight was exactly what she would do.
"I promised her…I will not let her down." He hesitated, "And you should think what's best for your child."
"You think leaving somewhere to hide with you, would be best for the baby?" She laughed with no humor, "Away from my family? from everyone I love? You think I'd leave Harry behind?"
"You do realize, that if it comes to that, they will not be there anymore for you to return to?" He forced the words out and realized they sounded more venomous than he had meant.
You think I would run if there'd be a chance she's still alive? He wanted to ask, but realized, before the words came out, that was exactly what she thought.
"And you must know Blaise won't let you go to look for them?" He added instead.
"Blaise?" She stared at him like she didn't know what he was talking about.
But she wasn't that good of an actor.
He remained silent.
She tilted her chin up, "Like I care…"
"I think you do."
"And what, Malfoy, would possibly make you think that? you know nothing about me!"
"No, but I know him, and idiotic bravery isn't his cup of tea."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"'Any means to achieve their ends'…Does that ring a bell? I know him well enough to know, that his only end would be to keep you safe."
"Him and I have nothing to do with each other." Her voice was steady and proud, but her eyes flashed, telling a different story.
"No? is that what you told Potter?"
Why was he pushing this?
Gosh, he missed Granger!
"Don't you dare…" Ginny hissed.
"What? Don't I dare talk, how the golden boy left you, to keep you safe? Did you feel safe? Did he think that you, not being together, would somehow save you? You were his weakness, whether you were with him officially, or not. How stupid are you lot? Thinking that ending a relationship would make Him think Potter didn't care about you anymore?"
"I DIDN'T AGREE!" She cried out, "I never thought that! I never had any say! He left me to fight on my own! Like they always did!" Her voice faded, and she cast her eyes down.
They…The Golden Trio…even Hermione.
"But you forgave him?"
"I loved him!"
loved? but she went on: "I loved him since I was a girl! And I loved him and I loved him! I loved him so much. He returned alive and he needed me. And there was a war and I kind of forgot what he did to me. And I have loved him through the battles and deaths and madness…"
Granger had said Potter wasn't completely sane anymore…
"And what do you get out of it?"
"It will get better. When the war is over… We'll have time to fix it." She sounded like she desperately wanted to believe that herself too.
"You think so?"
"I know so!" Her voice was still steady, but she wouldn't look at him.
Granger's words rang in his ears: "I don't live with them in the headquarters because they all frighten me. This war has changed everyone. We are not the same, we were five years ago. I'm not sure who we are anymore. And it terrifies me to think of what we will be if we ever survive this war."
"And Blaise?" He just had to ask.
"Why do you keep asking about him? I told you. We are nothing!"
"That's not what he told me."
Maybe he should have just shut up… but then there would be silence. And silence was hell these days.
Her eyes grew wide, "He told you? I can't believe him! We agreed never to talk about it! Like it never happened!"
"Easy for you to say… You just went back to Potter."
"He told me to! Zabini! He told me to, not to contact him anymore! He told me it was a mistake!"
"And you just believed him!? How thick are you? Potter tells you he can't be with you and you just get angry and refuse to believe it. But when Blaise tells you the same, you just take it? Or did you just want to believe him? were you relieved?"
She stared at him silent.
He didn't know why, he had the need to confront her about her relationship with Blaise. Probably it had something to do with Blaise telling him he loved her still. Or maybe he was worried, that what happened to them, could happen to him and Granger too? Would she believe him, if he suddenly told her he'd changed his mind? Would she go back to Weasley?
"At least some of us know how to keep their girl safe…" He muttered when she still hadn't said anything.
"I'm not his girl!"
"No, because you chose Potter even after he didn't choose you."
"Yes, I did! And I'd still do!" But he heard the hesitation in her voice.
"Do you really?"
Granger wouldn't have liked the way he talked... He could almost see her, hands on her hips telling him to shut it…
The thought almost made him smile.
P.S. While waiting for the next chapter, you might want to check out my new story 'The figures of figuring out'. And yes, it's once again, about our favorite couple, but in a completely different setting!
