Chapter 5:
Before long, Edward's kisses had grown in intensity enough to cause me to grow cognisant once more of the fact that our bodies were pressed very tightly against one another, and we were scarcely clothed. I was sure that Edward could tell how excited I was by his touches and his kisses, and I could certainly tell that he was at least as aroused as I.
This had to be too good to be true! Since we were officially engaged again, surely that meant that Edward now wanted to wait for our honeymoon? What did I want?
I reluctantly moved back from Edward's kiss. "Edward?" I murmured, my voice soft, "Maybe we should slow things down a little?"
He sighed, moving his lips to softly kiss up my neck. "Only if you really want to, Bella," he said, his melodious voice causing me to grow even more aroused.
I groaned. "Yes...No...I don't know!"
Edward chuckled, his lips still pressed against my throat. "Make up your mind, my love. Or maybe..." In an instant, Edward had swept me up in his arms, and placed me down gently in the middle of his large bed. Before I could say anything, he smiled at me and said "Perhaps being more comfortable might help you reach a decision with greater ease, Bella?"
"I doubt it..." I managed to say between gasps, as Edward dipped his head down to lay a line of gentle kisses on the skin between my breasts. "Besides," I said laughingly, "You're the one so resolved on keeping us pure until we're married! Surely this decision isn't mine to make?"
Edward lifted his head briefly to meet my gaze. His eyes were still shining with joy, and I knew that if it was possible, his cheeks would be as flushed with excitement as mine were. For once, he actually looked like a 17 year old in love. "That is true," he said, smiling wryly, "But since you were the one who proposed to me, Miss Swan, surely I can only follow your lead?" As he finished speaking, Edward ran his fingers lightly over my right nipple, causing it to harden even more against the cold of his touch. His eyes stayed locked on mine, and I swear, the expression on his face as he watched my reaction to the gesture almost caused me to melt.
I let out a slight groan. "Not fair! You know what I want – I want all of this! But we should wait. Really, we should. It will be more special, and we..." I wasn't sure whether I was trying harder to convince myself or Edward.
"Bella, Bella, Bella..." Edward murmured, returning to kiss along my jaw line once more. "That's all well and good, but I foresee a problem with your logic."
"And what's that?" I whispered, almost afraid to hear his words. With every passing second, my fragile resolve was crumbling further. In all honesty, at that moment I wanted nothing more than for Edward to remove the troublesome barrier of the underwear separating us and make me his. I could feel his hardness against the soft skin of my thigh, and the sensation caused me to grow even wetter than before. At this stage, even I could smell my arousal in the air; I could only imagine what the scent must be doing to Edward, what with his heightened senses.
"The problem, Miss Swan, is this," Edward said, kissing the pulse point of my neck, then continuing up to just behind my ear. He ran his hands over my bare torso as he spoke.
"The problem is that I don't think I have the strength of will required to go back to merely holding your hand and kissing you chastely, my love," Edward said seductively.
I gulped.
Edward continued, "You see, I've always thought about what it would be like to have you here with me, like this. The thought alone has been enough to drive me to distraction more times than I would care to remember. And now, having seen you, having touched you, Bella, I don't think I can go back to how things were." He laughed briefly, returning to join his lips with mine.
I struggled to form words, finding it hard to resist the lure of his firm lips. "So no problem!" I blurted out. It was driving me crazy, knowing that Edward wanted this as much as I did. Every touch from him was setting my senses ablaze, and making me want more. "If we both want the same thing..."
Edward pulled back, supporting himself on his strong arms as he gazed down at me. "You really want to do this now, Bella?" he asked softly. "Are we ready for this?"
Edward pulled back, supporting himself on his strong arms as he gazed down at me. "You really want to do this now, Bella?" he asked softly. "Are we ready for this, and all it entails?"
Hell yes!!!
"My body is crying out for me to say yes, Edward," I replied gently, "but something is stopping me."
Edward continued to look deeply into my eyes, his expression soft and tender.
"It's not that I'm saying no," I continued, "Rather it's that I hadn't imagined our first time being like this."
Edward's lips curved into a subtle smile. "Is my bedroom not romantic enough for you, my love? With some candles, perhaps? A little mood music?"
I smirked. "You know that's not what I mean, Edward. This just seems to be happening so fast. I mean, I came over here this afternoon to discuss colour schemes with Alice, only to end up arguing with you and calling off the wedding. Throw in a broken hand, and me ending up proposing to you and we've had a pretty full evening, y'know?"
Edward nodded, continuing to smile. "Well, when you put it like that..." he said, a look of faux regret flashing over his perfect face.
"So, you get what I'm saying?" I asked carefully. There had been enough misunderstandings for one night, and I didn't want Edward to misconstrue my meaning.
"I think so, love," Edward murmured, kissing me gently on the forehead. "I understand, and I feel the same. When we make love, you don't want it to just be something that happens in the heat of the moment, with us caught up in a whirl of turbulent emotions."
I smiled, "Exactly."
Edward rolled to lie beside me. I turned over to face him. He ran his hand gently along the curve of my hip, doing nothing to quell the passion that I still felt, bubbling away beneath the surface. He sighed a little sadly, then removed his hand, and went as if he intended to cover me with the duvet.
I placed my uninjured hand on his, halting his movements. "Don't," I said softly.
Edward quirked an eyebrow quizzically.
"It doesn't have to be all or nothing, Edward," I said. Deciding to let my actions convey my meaning, I moved closer to Edward, allowing the length of my body to press against his. I captured his lips in a tender kiss. "I love you."
"As I do you," he murmured, deepening the kiss. Neither of us spoke for several minutes.
"There needs to be a line, and so where do we draw it?" Edward said, pulling back slightly, but not enough to break the contact between our bodies.
I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "This is new to me, so I don't know. You're the one with decades of experience."
Edward smiled nervously. "And it's not new for me? Bella, I might be older than you in years, but trust me, this is uncharted territory for me too." He ran his hands gently over my shoulders and then just barely skimmed them over my breasts.
"I know," I said softly, raising my fingers to his parted lips. Edward kissed my fingertips, taking them between his lips briefly.
"Well, if I may be so bold as to say it," Edward ventured, "we seem to be coping tolerably well so far."
"Tolerably?" I smiled, allowing my fingers to trail down the length of Edward's torso.
"Yes, you're tolerable, but not enough to tempt me," Edward smirked.
My lips curved at his playful reference. "Be serious," I said, my own smile belying my words.
"Fine," Edward said, "We are coping very well so far."
"Better," I said, my senses thrilling at the sheer intimacy of lying here with Edward, discussing this openly.
"So," Edward continued, "Perhaps we should just play it by ear, so to speak? See how things progress?"
"Mmm...Sounds good to me," I murmured, leaning in for another kiss.
After all, we have all the time in the world...
