AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks once again to Pembie, Dextolan, and Juna Izumi! Your comments mean the world to me so thank you all for taking the time to comment! Really glad you're enjoying it! To anyone else who's reading, I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know what you think. Any feedback at all would be very much appreciated. Genuinely, say anything at all, good or bad. Thumbs up? Thumbs down? Any suggestions?
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Chapter 8
Morgan walked into Reid's room, still reeling a little from the meeting he'd just had with the team. They were buried in case files right now, sifting through police reports nationwide to identify any unexplained suicide bombings that could be linked to the explosion Reid was injured in.
So far, they'd identified 18 cases across the country in which young men had taken hostages and then blown themselves up along with their victims. Of the 18 cases that had been identified, the Unsubs had all been between the ages of 22 and 26, but their youth was where the similarities ended.
There didn't seem to be a preferred ethnicity, level of education, or socio-economic background. There was no specific religious group involved and it was clear that none of them had ever been involved with a cult. Nor had they identified themselves as having any kind of link to a terrorist group. In fact, nothing on their personal computers, emails, text messages, or social media accounts pointed to any extremist views of any kind, or even any particularly strong political affiliation. They also had no criminal records, and no affiliations with any known gangs or criminal organisations.
They were just ordinary young men, with ordinary interests, until one day they decided to strap a bomb to their chests and blow themselves up.
From a profiler's point of view, there were none of the usual tell-tale signs. They hadn't been loners. They weren't socially isolated. They didn't even seem angry or resentful. There were no chips on their shoulders. No axes to grind… On the contrary, most seemed to have been very well-liked, even quite popular individuals, with a good circle of family and friends. Most had had stable relationships, and active social lives. On paper, these were truly unexplained cases, with the people who'd known the Unsubs questioning how something like this could have happened. It just didn't make sense!
Garcia was trying to find a link, to understand how the men might have known each other, but so far, she was coming up empty-handed. It was all very frustrating…
So frustrating in fact, that Morgan had decided he needed a break, and what better opportunity to visit Reid on the sly than when everyone else was busy? As far as Hotch knew, he had a doctor's appointment.
Standing here now, just inside the doorway of Reid's room, he couldn't help grimacing a little when he saw him sitting in the armchair by the bed. The younger man hadn't seen him yet, mainly because he had earphones in and he was listening to music with his eyes closed, some kind of poppy tune. He shook his head when he realised that Reid was singing along under his breath and making little high pitched noises to go with the music. It was so 'un-Reid-like', and so much more 'Garcia's style that it broke his heart. Dressed in one of Garcia's tops and a skirt, he looked a little bizarre too. Those long skinny legs of his were crossed at the ankles in a very lady-like pose, and he had his toenails painted pink. He couldn't help thinking that this was all going too far. When were they going to get the real Reid back? He was coming back, wasn't he?!
Suddenly Reid looked up and a huge smile spread across his face. "Derek!" he almost squealed with excitement as he pulled the earphones out, "Don't just stand there! Get over here and give me some sugar!" He held his hand out to him to beckon him over.
Morgan made his way over to the chair and knelt down beside him. He knew that this wasn't the real Reid but it was hard to remember that when he was gazing into those soft hazel eyes of his. He looked up at him and took hold of his hand. "I've missed you" he said honestly, "The last week has been so hard!"
Reid put his hands on either side of Morgan's face and leaned in for a kiss. "I've missed you too" he said, smiling between kisses, "You don't know how much!"
After a few minutes, Morgan pulled back from the kiss, and looked at the younger man properly. He tried to see him for the mentally ill man that he was, and to think about the clothes gracing that thin frame of his now. Their kisses had smeared ruby-red lipstick all over his lips. How embarrassed would Reid be if he could see himself now, he wondered. The man sitting in this chair in front of him now wasn't the man that he'd been in love with for all these years. He wasn't the sweet sensitive genius that got on his nerves and made his stomach flutter in almost equal measure. He wasn't Reid… He was 'Garcia'… Wasn't he? …And yet, his heart told him otherwise.
'Are you sure that's your heart you're listening to?' he asked himself quite cynically, 'Sure you're not thinking with another piece of your anatomy?!'
Reid gave him a coy little smile and waved for him to move back a little bit. "I have something I want to show you!" he said, gripping onto the arms of the chair and pulling himself up into a standing position. "I can walk now!" he said looking excited and smiling from ear to ear.
He reached for his crutches and showed him how he well he could walk by making his way from one side of the room to the other.
Morgan watched him, walking with great effort, dragging his feet a little, and trembling with exertion.
"Baby?!" he exclaimed, with a look of awe on his face, "I can't believe it!"
Any thought that this wasn't 'Reid' was gone in an instant when he saw the proud look on the other man's face as he looked at him over his shoulder. Those beautiful eyes of his were so lit up and he was beaming back at him with such happiness. How could he resist him when he was like this? So heart-achingly beautiful?
He walked over and putting his arms around Reid's waist from behind. Leaning his head over his shoulder, he kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart!" he whispered in his ear, "You have no idea how much!"
Reid giggled a little, and leaned into Morgan's arms, turning his head to kiss him on the lips. Then frowning a little bit, he said, "I wanted to do it without the crutches …but I'm not there yet."
"That's okay" said Morgan, "You'll get there soon! Look how far you've come already."
He led him back over to the armchair, and Reid nodded for him to sit down, and then sat in his lap. Morgan flinched a little from the surprise of having the man of his dreams so close to his crotch, but after a moment's hesitation he put his arms around him and hugged him tight. They sat sharing the set of earphones and listened to some music on Garcia's iPod. Morgan marvelled at how 'right' this all felt, but he couldn't stop himself nervously glancing at the closed door. He knew that he shouldn't be here. He knew that Hotch would be angry with him when he found out. Hell, he might even get suspended over this! He was under no illusion about the risk he was taking in being here. He just couldn't stay away.
There was nowhere else that he wanted to be…
He leaned in to kiss Reid again, and smiled when the younger man returned the kiss passionately and put his hand on the back of his head to pull him in closer. He liked it when Reid took control. Even if he knew that he wasn't fully compos mentis, it made him feel a little better about what they were doing. He could fool himself that this was what Spencer wanted.
Suddenly, mid-kiss, Reid's eyes flew open and he pulled away from him abruptly.
"What the fuck?!" he exclaimed, with a look of shock and disgust on his face, "M-morgan?! What are you doing?!"
Suddenly he was scrambling in a shaky and uncoordinated way to get off Morgan's lap. His limbs weren't doing what he wanted them to do so he ended up almost groping his way off him, and pushing roughly at the older man's groin to try to get up.
Morgan winced a little but clambered to his feet with utter shock and horror etched on his face. "Reid?!" he gasped, tilting his head at him and giving him a questioning look. "Is that you?!"
"What do you mean is it me?!" he shouted back, now on his feet, but wobbling a little, "Who else would I be?! ...What the hell is going on?!"
He kept looking down at the clothes he was wearing with a look of confusion and back up at Morgan accusingly. When Morgan didn't offer an explanation, he clamped his eyes shut and shook his head, before opening them again. It was as though he thought it might help to rectify the situation. When he held his hand up suddenly to look at his perfect pink fingernails, he gave a loud gasp, and then glared at Morgan in anger.
"Why am I dressed like this?!" he demanded to know. Fists clenched tightly by his side and shaking badly. "Is this some kind of sick joke?! Have you guys drugged me or something?! You think this is funny?!"
"What?!" gasped Morgan, "No… Reid…"
"Where am I?!" he asked, not waiting for an answer. He was struggling to stay on his feet as he turned around to look at the hospital room. He looked so lost and afraid.
"You're in the hospital" said Morgan, "You had... There was an explosion..."
Suddenly he looked back at Morgan with a flash of anger in his eyes and brought his hand up to wipe at his mouth. "Why were you kissing me?!" he demanded, "What the hell is wrong with you, Morgan?! You...You had your tongue... Oh God!"
It looked like he wanted to wash his mouth out with soap!
"I'm so sorry!" said Morgan, hanging his head and staring at the floor. He wished that it would open up right now and swallow him. How on earth was he going to explain this to him?!
"You're sorry?!" he repeated, "Morgan, that doesn't happen by accident! You had your fucking tongue in my mouth!"
"Uh… Well, you see... Things have been a bit… different lately." he muttered. He wasn't able to look him in the eye. "It's complicated" he said, reaching out to him, "But I wasn't…I wouldn't... You have to believe me..."
"Get away from me!" yelped Reid, as he looked to the door in panic. "Get your hands off me! Don't you dare touch me!"
"Okay, okay!" soothed Morgan, "I'm just trying to help". He took a step back and held up his hands in front of him. "I'll get the doctors" he said, trying to calm him down, "…and they can explain."
Reid shook his head at him angrily. 'I'll go myself!" he spat at him, "I don't need your help!".
He tried to take a step to walk away, but without his crutches he lost his balance nearly immediately and landed heavily on the floor with a bang.
"Mhhmmm" he moaned, as he lay there in a crumpled heap.
"Oh, my God! Baby?! Are you okay?!" cried Morgan, as he dropped to his knees beside him. "Are you hurt?!"
"Morgan?!" moaned Reid, looking up at him with big scared eyes. He looked a little dazed. "What happened?!" he asked, "Why am I on the floor?!"
"You fell" said Morgan, looking at him in confusion. Something had changed in his face again and the 'angry Reid' seemed to have disappeared again. "You were really angry with me?" he said in a slightly questioning way.
"I was angry?!" asked Reid, looking at him anxiously. "Why was I angry? What did you do?!"
"Um… It's not important." he said, stroking the side of his face. "We just need to get you up… I'll get a nurse to check you first, okay?"
Morgan watched anxiously as the nurses helped Reid back into the bed. One of them went to get the doctor to do a few checks. He didn't seem to have injured himself but they wanted to check just to be sure.
He did his best to smile at Reid, but inside his mind was in turmoil. He needed out. He needed out right now! One of the nurses put a blood pressure cuff on Reid's arm and began asking him questions, so he took it as an opportunity to sneak out. Taking his phone out of his pocket, he motioned to Reid that he needed to take the call. "I'll be back in ten" he said, as he slipped out into the corridor.
As soon as he got down the corridor a short distance, he collapsed against the wall. He felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest as he began to hyperventilate a little. The real Reid had been back for all of about two minutes, and then he'd disappeared again just as suddenly. So, he could come back! That much was clear!
But now there was a much bigger problem! The real Reid obviously wasn't happy at all about what had been going on! He certainly hadn't seemed too keen on a homosexual relationship, and had been absolutely horrified to find himself kissing a man. The look of pure disgust on his face had been heart-wrenching.
Morgan wondered what was he going to do now?! He'd created a mess of gargantuan proportions! This version of Reid wanted to be with him, but he wasn't really 'Reid'. The man who'd let him kiss him earlier was going to disappear some day, without even the slightest warning. Then Reid would come back and that would be that. But that wasn't the worst thing. When the real Reid got here, he'd be furious with him for what he'd done. Maybe he'd even accuse him of molestation?! This was a total nightmare!
