Howdy folks, how's it going? Just promoting my Random ficlets on my account here, probably gonna post a few more sometime, it's listed as SR Randomness, and also check out the comic I'm writing for call Roses and Thorns, at www (dot) mouseworxunlimited (dot) com. And now, reviewer responses!

jolteonforever: First, one of my favorite pokemon designs... now then to the review itself. Pakkun is such a great straight man isn't he folks? Might have to use him again later on. Yeah, the innuendoes were sorta intentional... Thanks for the praise. Konan told me over tea last month. Here's the next update.

CelticReaper: Can I trade the internet in for a couple billion? Here's the next update, enjoy.

Catzi: Nope, not when I thought it myself... though now I have to wonder about your mental state, since mine's all screwed up.

Terminally Ambivalent: We'll not go into how bad my Spanish is right now. Soooo... moving on... Thanks for liking the chapter, and yeah, the piercing thing was aweome. I wonder if I should pity Naruto, or his therapist more... Woe is Naruto, indeed. Updated.

volrath77: I'm guessing that you enjoyed this then. ^.^ Thanks for the fave.

badkidoh: Thank you, updated.

Elemental Dragon Swordman: Naruto is running for his tender little virginity... RUN! Oi Dragon, remember E.D.S.'s blindfold!

Anonymous: I'm gonna call you Bob, just cause I can. Congrats on the essay, you're welcome for the comics. Yes, they are in speedos, and Kakashi's getting some much needed sun on his bleach white skin. About your friend, convert her, she'll thank you for it. Here's the next update.

Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: Thank you. Will do. You're done with waiting. I thought it was always interesting. Dream and reality are divided only by a thin, thin line. So, was it real or a dream... I might have Naruto visit the land of the dead again later... hmm... maybe the dead can visit him instead...

spottedstar2: He might make it... ya never can tell with Naruto, Konoha's number one unpredicatable knuckleheaded ninja!

Alyondria: *looks at the sea of Naruto-clones chanting "Springer"* Nope... I just can't see it... oh he's on the run still... can't end the story that soon, now can I? No more waiting for you! The story loves you too.

The-Eighth-Sin: PORN SENSES HO!! . . . Just makes you feel good saying it... Someone do it in the middle of a mall or something, I wanna see what happens! Here's some more.

Reykja: Yes, this little labrynth of a fic is a gnarly Gordion knot isn't it? The creativity just comes naturally, so thanks! I'll try to keep up the good work.

90MLLu: Thanks, I'm glad that you liked Pakkun, and yeah, he's a greedy gut isn't he? Not that that's a bad thing mind... Yeah, he meets Akatsuki, and gets away again. I'm pretty sure Naruto's scarred for life mentally, and to think I won't be lightening up on him anytime soon... Kakashi's great for cracktastic porn senses, isn't he? Thanks again for all your praise, hopefully I'll reamain good enough for you.

geetac: Thanks! I loved making it!


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 12: Bugging Out.

Naruto was well known for his endless stamina, but when he while he slumped against the tree catching his breath, he had to admit that after having been on the run constantly even he was tired. Looking at the shredded remains of his second orange top, he really wished he'd been able to stop off at his house to get his mission supplies, or at least a change of clothes.

His musings however were cut short by the arrival of a familiar ball of reddish-orange fur, that leaped onto his lap, forepaws on his chest, licking his nose. While he was laughing and trying to get her to stop, a strange thought occurred to him. "Hey, I should give you a name... if you insist on helping me out all the time. What'd be a good name for ya, girl?"

"Kon!" the fox seemed to bark, while looking up at Naruto with shining, innocent eyes.

"Kon-chan it is then..." Naruto agreed while scratching her behind the ear. "At least you're still too young to try and get me to mate... Thanks for watching out for me."

"That's nice and all Naruto," a calm voice spoke up from the other side of the clearing. "But I think you and your friend should keep moving, the bugs I put on the other teams tell me they're closing in on you."

Naruto looked up, and upon seeing Shino got ready to bolt. "Hey bug-man, uhh... yeah... was just about to go..."

"I shall aid you then," Shino replied evenly as he walked over, holding out a set of clothes. "Your friend, Kon-chan, had us stop at that garden of yours and pick up your clothes from there. I left a few of my bugs there to help pollinate, I hope that does not offend you."

"No... thanks Bug-man..." Naruto answered nervously as he took the clothes from the strangely subdued male, when a thought occurred to him. "Your bugs are blocking the pheromones, aren't they?"

Naruto couldn't tell for certain but he could almost swear that Shino was smirking as he nodded. "Very clever Naruto, it is why I am not infected by them," Shino replied calmly as he turned his back to give Naruto some privacy. "Hurry up and change, my bugs are telling me we should get moving."

Naruto changed as quickly as he could, something about what Shino had said struck him as odd, but he just couldn't place his finger on it. Tugging his shirt into place he sighed and tapped Shino on the shoulder. "All set, let's go."

Shino nodded and waved for Kon to lead the way. The little fox nodded and began walking along, causing Naruto to look at Shino oddly. The bug user merely pulled Naruto along onto the trail. "I do have to confess something to you Naruto, I have my own reasons for doing this."

Naruto sighed and rubbed his ears in annoyance. "What's that Bug-man? I know it can't be because you like me. I mean that'd just be weird... right?"

Shino's reaction to anyone that could read the Aburame clan would call a pained wince. However Naruto didn't even notice that Shino was a few seconds longer in answering than normal. "I would not consider it weird Naruto, since you are a very likable person. Though this homophobia of yours would be highly upsetting to your fanboys. One of my reasons is because I owe you for keeping that secret from that mission. Another is that you are very important to Hinata, she holds deep feelings for you, and this situation has driven her to the point of madness because of them."

Naruto frowned as he and Shino continued to move through the trees, following Kon's wondering path. "I'm not homophobic... it's just I thought you hated me..." Naruto whispered quietly as he ducked under a tree branch, "So Hinata's feelings were there before the whole pheromones thing? I'm gonna have to make it up to her then."

The silence between the two held for a few minutes after that, each of the two males lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Naruto broke the silence, "Oi, Shino... did I miss anyone else's feelings? I mean if I'm gonna make it up to Hinata, I should make it up to others too..."

"Aside from the ones of outside nations and kingdoms, I can only think of one other..." Shino answered calmly as they pulled up even with Kon, who was sniffing the air cautiously. "But he would rather I didn't tell that secret. Focus on Hinata, it is proper for you two to be together."

"I didn't ask that Shino," Naruto growled as he turned to stare Shino in the sunglasses. "I want to know who I've hurt by ignoring them. Nobody should be an instead of, but nobody deserves to be completely ignored, either! I don't want to hurt them because I'm a clueless idiot anymore. Tell me who it is... please..."

Shino was going to be evasive again, however the tears and pain he saw haunting Naruto's eyes stalled the answer on his tongue. He knew from the bugs that Naruto had grown up with a hard life, and that Hinata had attempted a few times to be brave enough to tell Naruto her true feelings, even before the pheromones drove her completely insane. She was worthy of Naruto, but still... seeing those passionate cerulean orbs staring up into his own hidden eyes kindled a little flame of compassion for the blond.

"It's... me..." Shino answered quietly, waiting for Naruto to recoil with his eyes shut. However, when Naruto's hands only loosened their grip on his arms, instead of letting go entirely, Shino opened his eyes and saw one of the rarest sights ever. Naruto Uzumaki was stunned into silence, and his jaw seemed to be trying to formulate words. Shino stored that memory away for future reference, should he ever need a laugh, and simply used his thumb and forefinger to shut Naruto's mouth by pushing up on the chin, inadvertently tilting his head up slightly so that it looked like Shino was going to kiss him.

"I know that you hold no romantic feelings for me Naruto..." Shino whispered as he studied every inch of Naruto's face, his heart beating harder in his chest, as his hand moved to cup Naruto's cheek. "That is why I never said anything, that and Hinata loved you first. I do hope that at least we could be... on friendly terms if not friends outright."

Naruto pulled back from Shino, clearing his throat as he leaned against a tree, looking down at the ground. "I don't know Bug-man... this is a pretty big secret you kept from me..." Naruto grumbled as he flicked his ears and blushed lightly across those sun-kissed and whiskered cheek which drove Shino's tightly restrained lust nearly insane.

Licking his lips he approached Naruto slowly, his eyes focused on that blush, that seemed to spread with every step he made, finally he had Naruto pinned to the tree between his outstretched arms. He smiled slightly as he stared down at the shorter foxy blond, ever single fiber of his being struggling to remain in control. "Naruto... I must admit to misleading you earlier... I said that you couldn't infect me with your pheromones, when rather they effect everyone around you. Even with everything me and my bugs can do, but... I hope you can forgive me... this one time..." Shino started strong, but ended in a whisper as he pulled down the zipper of his coat, exposing his face to Naruto, the faint blush on his cheeks, the tremble of his lips, everything but his eyes.

Leaning in closer he inhaled the scent coming off Naruto deeply, and repressed a shudder, barely making out Naruto's voice in his lust induced haze. "Shino... please think about this..." Naruto whimpered as he pressed against the tree fully. "This isn't you, it's the pheromones, get it under control! You can fight it off again, just let me go now, and when I'm out of this jutsu we can go on a date, anything you want to do all night. Just don't do this now man!"

Shino fought to control himself, leaning in even despite all his willpower to stop. Finally, he got himself under control only an inch away from his goal, so close he could feel Naruto's panicked breath against his own lips. "Run Naruto... I... I can't keep fighting this close to you," Shino whispered his order, pulling back his bugs he'd been using to distract Kon from attacking his privates.

Naruto was just about free of Shino, when a green blur shot past him, barely missing him by inches. Turning to look he heard Lee crying out "COITUS INTERUPTUS!" while kick Shino into a nearby tree. He took one look around and nearly soiled himself. Apparently Team Gai had followed Shino, and the looks they had on their faces told him that the pheromones were in full effect.

One set of crossed fingers and a shout later, the entire area was swarmed with orange clad ninjas, while the real one disguised himself as a two tailed version of Kon, and barked at her to run. Together the pair of foxes ran like the devil himself was after them, meanwhile Tenten was cutting through the clones left and right at Neji's direction as he tracked the two foxes running away, and Lee struggled to free himself of the dozen or so Narutos hanging off his body. Lee's struggle was complicated by the fact that he really didn't want to part from this dream-like scenario.

Naruto and Kon blurred through the undergrowth of the forest as fast as their legs could carry them. Kon held half a body length of a lead on Naruto, acting as a guide through the forest. His joy at having gotten away was short lived however, when he saw Kon disappearing down and to the left of him, telling him he'd been scooped up again. Looking up he let out the fear and other matter that he'd been holding back since Shino had him pinned, all over Anko's trench coat.

Anko looked down at the urine and scat now coating her favorite trench coat with annoyance, almost dropping her prey. She did however loosen her grip enough that Naruto could gain leverage enough to spring free. Two rebounds later and he was streaking through the undergrowth, aiming for a opening that Kon was standing beside letting out calling whimpers.

Naruto dove into the hole without even thinking, letting out a cry of shock as he started sliding down a black tube towards a bright light. He could hear Kon sliding down behind him, if he didn't know better, he'd almost swear that she was giggling.

Arriving in the blinding light of day, he looked around curiously, finding himself in the center of an entire village, seemingly populated by foxes. If he hadn't just voided his bowels and bladder all over Anko's coat, he would do it now. Especially since every single member of the city took one whiff of the air and turned to look at him lustfully. Meanwhile, behind him Kon said, "Welcome to the Hidden village of Kitsunes, Naruto... or should I say welcome back Kyuubi-sama."