Ara ara... I suppose I have some minor authorial things to get out of the way before reviews. Part the first: I still don't own Naruto, if I did, I probably wouldn't be pissing off a lot of fans right now in the manga. Part the second: Congrats folks, you've just made this my top reviewed fic with 191 reviews at the time of this posting. Part the third: Fighting a bug, so updates may be shorter.

Now that that boring stuff's done... onto the Responses.

Celtic Reaper: Glad I could make you laugh with that chapter... thank you for your review. Aye, the log is now in therapy due to all the support for it. You're welcome, here's the update.

The-Eighth-Sin: Thank you, more's on it's way. Trust me, there's more disconcerting ideas to come.

naturokurosaki: Is that a compliment, or are you begging me to up the ante some more? I'm not entirely sure on this point... Anywho, people were already guessing that Captain Planet was coming in, so why are you surprised? I'm all for the entertainment value when they come to their senses... and probably kill Kurenai for making them do that... Not the worst by far, but if another person calls me a girl again, I will not hesitate to unleash it upon the masses.

badkidoh: Thank you, here's some more to enjoy.

Goategg: Oh come now, that wasn't that bad... and no, the Insanity is free with every Naruto-meal.

spottedstar2: I'm seeing a lot of support for the log, who was traumatized once... but not a whole lot for Naruto... Curious...

anotamous: Considering how long he's been on the run, the lack of sleep, the sheer mental exhaustion he's gotta be feeling by now... uhh... about 1-2%

geetac: Thank you. ^-^

WINDXNINJA: Can't turn away eh? Must be like a train wreck. And I'm not killing you... I don't think... anywho, here's the next chapter.

Anonymous: Hey Bob... Maybe I shoulda skipped updating this week then, if last week gave you enough to laugh about... NAAAAAH! What line is that again? Cause I think I may have just orbitally nuked it instead... you know how it goes... And Naruto's a resilient little bugger, he'll be fine... *notices the twitchy eye* I'm sure he'll be alright... How was Orochimaru's song when you heard it again? The log is in a better place now... some nice people from Blammo are taking it for retraining. (bonus points for any that get this reference) Captain Porno... just came to me one day and I ran with it. Glad to have lightened your mood. You're welcome. Hey it's better than the 29 days, 3 hours, and 37 minutes that he would have had if the times were reversed ne? Of course, he doesn't know it's about to get worse... Computer and everything's working fine. Bye bye.

Ezra Troup: *blinks* Uhh... thanks? Just remember, love letters can be sent as PM's instead of publicly... As for the slash pairing, I just wanted to show that not all homosexual pairings have to be a battle, sometimes it's nice just to be in love, no? Now, about the Captain Porno shirts... will you be sending them to Kishimoto for him to make publicly available? Cause I really don't wanna have to deal with copyright issues like that... though I want one of those shirts.

Sentiment Remains: Thanks for the favorite, I'm glad that you're finding it funny. Here's the update.

MissDude93: . . . Okay, I'm seriously not even sure how to heal this one... MEDIC! *watches a skimpy female nurse uniform wearing Asuma walk over to MissDude93* Take care of her... I've got writing to do. *aside* If that doesn't cure her... it'll bury her.

90MLLu: No... I am not kidding you... this is an awful mess, and I blame Jiraiya. I don't care if it's my fault, I'm blaming him. A lot of support for Captain Porno's theme it seems. Thanks once again for the details, helps me focus on my improvements. For you, I'm sending a special brain bleach.

Elemental Dragon Swordman: Uh... sorry? *edges away* I don't know how they got like that officer, I swear...

jolteonforever: I see much love for the Porno theme... are you a Pornoteer? It's Macho Man, but you get the idea... and there is a Hidden Sand there too, as well as some foxes... in costume. Yeah, Shino's a good guy, isn't he? Less said about Orochimaru, the better right? Here's the update... as for Shizune she's in there ara ara... just look for her.

AkioofWind: Thank you. You're welcome, though I have to say in my opinion, that was a rather well done redubbing of the theme... *sniffs* Ara ara... anywho yeah, Orochimaru's ew factor was a good chunk to that part isn't it? The other two groups mention... gotta love fan service. I'll work on my spelling/grammar, sorry.

Alyondria: Here's the update.


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 16

Whatever faint glimmer of hope Naruto's sleep deprived mind could conceive at this moment was ruthlessly torn asunder, trampled, and left to rot in the middle of the street under the sun as the crowd of pursuers seemed to grow with every passing block. If it wasn't for years of a misspent youth spent setting up pranks, Naruto would bet that he'd have fallen for at least a dozen traps already, thankfully however, it was people of his horde of would-be rapist that got snared. Not enough to satisfy Naruto, but every little bit helped, right?

Coming to the outer defensive wall, Naruto decided to change course. Leaping the last few steps, he latched his feet on with chakra and ran along the inside of the wall. Ordinarily, this would be impossible, however the seals to prevent chakra sticking were never meant to deal with the sheer amount of chkra one panicked and desperate jinchuuriki could put out at a moment's notice.

Naruto's feat of chakra overload went unnoticed however, when people tried to use the same tactic, and instead wound up in a huge, writhing pile of twisted bodies. Apparently slowing down wasn't a thought that occurred to any of them. It did occur to them that maybe running past the Inuzuka kennels wasn't the brightest of ideas, when several massive dogs jumped on top of the dog pile.

Meanwhile, on a rooftop a few blocks away, Shino smirked as the bugs relayed what had just occurred. "It worked just like you suggested Hinata."

Hidden deep in her security coat of deepest shame, Hinata smiled shyly at the thought of her plan coming together. Maybe if Naruto-kun heard how well she was doing in his defense, he would come to her, and let her hold him in her arms, hug him tightly, kiss him, take off his p... err... maybe she wasn't quite clear of those pheromones as she thought. Though the thoughts weren't that much more intense then before he had undergone his transformation, they still seemed to drift along too fast for her comfort.

Naruto found herself lost in the back streets of Konoha, thankfully alone for the time being. At least that's what she thought anyhow, when an arm settled on her shoulders, and a feminine voice whispered gruffly in her ear, "Hey beautiful... can I see you swimming naked again?" she knew she was in trouble to say the least.

Naruto's fear was confirmed when she looked to the left, and found Temari's smiling face looking back at her. "Eh? Uh... I'm not really myself right now Temari-san..."

"I noticed," Temari purred, looking over Naruto's feminine and wedding gown clad form. "Means I have to see them both equally, for comparison's sake if nothing else... but since you're all dressed up, I know this little chapel where they won't ask too many questions. So how about it? Let's go have some fun, and then we'll go get hitched... I can show you so many... wonderful things about that body..."

Now, Naruto was reasonable sure that Temari was just under the effects of the pheromones, and not a lesbian. However, the rational part of her mind also pointed out that at this moment the Suna woman didn't care, while the tightly bound and gagged sex drive kept trying to shout something about riding her until the cows came home.

"That's alright Temari-san... it's just a temporary body, so I'll just be going now..." Naruto offered, trying to gain some distance from the other blonde. She was however pulled back by a rather strong grip, and pinned to a wall with the same arm.

"Oh, if it's only temporary, then I guess we'll have to make the most of it now..." Temari whispered huskily as she hooked Naruto's chin with her curled forefinger and thumb, lifting it up slightly. Naruto's eyes bugged as she felt a series of tender kisses creeping up her neck. She needed to get out of here, and fast. Looking around frantically, she let out a whimper as Temari's hand lighted off the buttons of the dress playfully.

Naruto's fervent prayers to any deity that was listening were answered, in the form of a fist connecting with the side of Temari's face, sending her sprawling away from the trapped Naruto. Just as she was about to make good her escape, a pink haired woman filled her view, locking eyes with the shocked blond. "Uh... Sakura-chan... good to see you again..."

"Yes..." Sakura whispered quietly as she placed her hands on either side of the pinned kitsune girl. "This seems familiar Naruto... true you were male last time... but I'm not so sure I would complain..." Sakura continued, smiling rakishly. "We're teammates Naruto, right?"

"R... right!" Naruto squeaked, severely annoyed at the high pitched tone his voice took in this form. "So you'll let me go, right?"

"Oh no..." Sakura answered with an evil little chuckle. "As your teammate, I'm going to protect you... by relieving the sexual... tension, you're feeling."

Naruto squirmed nervously as she tried to figure a way out of this without hurting Sakura. Her answer came in a similar manner to how she was saved from Temari. Only this time it was a fan smacking into Sakura's head.

As Temari and Sakura fought out who would be the first to claim Naruto's innocence, she decided that it would be a better idea to get the hell out of there instead of waiting for the winner. Her escape was nearly perfect, save that the hour of transformation finally wore off, giving off a familiar sound. Looking back nervously, he sweat dropped seeing Temari and Sakura whispering something while pointing at him. Taking the alarms in his mind as the clue they were, Naruto took off at a full on run.

He barely heard Sakura's shout "GET HIM!" as he barreled his way through the streets of Konoha, taking to the roofs after a near run in with Kakashi, and Gai holding a competition to see who could get Naruto to date them first. The worst part of it, was that they were wearing matching dresses to his own. That was something he could have gone a lifetime without seeing, though he could have gone longer without seeing them in speedos even more though.

Seeing that he wasn't likely to get away easily from two high level jounins, Naruto decided to fall back on his best skill. One set of crossed fingers and several puffs of smoke later, millions of Narutos split off in various directions, some even charging in at his pursuers. Naruto couldn't help but smirk as the group of chasers he'd been charging into simply leaped over him and continued chasing after the clone he had Kawarimi'd with shortly after summoning it.

Sometimes having been a prankster really came in handy, like when he had to hide what he was doing from pursuit in order to get away. His great, and brilliant plan came to a screeching halt however, when he saw a familiar red-headed, slightly psychotic, sand user in front of him. "Oh crap..."

"Hello Uzumaki," Gaara stated calmly. "I am here to warn you of something that will happen in 20 hours and fourteen minutes."