Not much to say about this one, but the next one might be a bit more entertaining than this. EDIT: PLEASE READ THE ADDITIONAL AUTHOR NOTES AT THE END OF THE RESPONSES! YOUR HELP IS NEEDED!

CelticReaper: Yeah, poor Naruto, he's going to Rasengan me if he ever catches me. Thanks for the praise, updated.

geetac: Glad you did, thank you.

ratpigeon: Ara ara, patience my friend, there are things in this world that are worth waiting for. And I'm thinking the demon assaults on Naruto's sanity is one of them. Hehe, trust me, it's still relevant.

badkidoh: Thank you, updated.

volrath77: Well actually, if you remember, Kyuubi had been effected by the pheremones himself earlier on, or at least appeared to be, and also if you remember the first chapter, Naruto put all he had into the jutsu... so Kyuubi likely had something to do with it also. Naruto/Tsuande... hmm... that could work...

Elemental Dragon Swordman: Yeah, they're coming to chase him. Yes, Naruto's still in that dress. SPCA is the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, no more mythical beast abuse please.

Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: Thank you. Will do. Updated. Yes you can. Always thought it was interesting. He has plenty of luck... it's just not working in his favor right now. I thought I was the only one that had characters from shows haunting me...

spottedstar2: . . . Ara ara *passes over the mop and bucket* You made the mess, you clean it up, then you can read the update.

The-Eighth-Sin: What they had meant to say, before swallowed it, is that they heart Tenten with the less than 3 thing. Apparently don't like that. I love Tenten too, she's number three on my charts for being with Naruto... tied with Shino, but in third place because of alphabetics. (Hinata, Shino, Tenten, Anko, Hana...)

Anonymous: Well Bob... Did I nuke it that bad that the line between trauma and humor no longer exists in the history of this fic? Whoops... *mock innocent* Ara ara... Typing with both hands is indeed much faster, and as an added bonus, I don't even need to look at the keys in order to type up responses, which is useful because I'm often reading the posts that I'm responding to at the time. ^.^ I think that Naruto's gonna be having fuuuun in the last twenty-four hours. Tenten seems the type to use weapons and traps to snare a fox, especially when working alone. At least to me she is... *pats gently on the head* Ara ara, here's what's happening next, enjoy it, please.

Alyondria: Can I get an actual picture of this? Please? Pretty please? Come on! Don't make me beg! Welcome to the edge of your seat, please try not to fall off. Enjoy, and I love making it.

jolteonforever: I really doubt the ring'd do much good... unless it acts as a sort of Kaiten shield. Thanks for the praise on the chapter. Glad you liked Gaara, and his awesomeness. Gaara's clone is made of sand, thus not under the effects of the pheromones, at least not that he's showing yet. Your Pornoteer t-shirt will be shipped in 5-10 business decades.

90MLLu: No worries, just glad to see you again on the list, with everyone else. Glad you liked the chapter also, it makes me happy. As for Gaara, the way I see it, is that he's trying to be a good person now that Naruto has shown him the way to beat Shukaku, and is doing the best he can to support his friend and family. Also, if he crushes Naruto, literally O.o he'd not get much mating out of him, now would he? Well, part of Tenten going nuts is explained in this chapter, and if you'll notice, Naruto's slipped through her fingers like 4-5 times before I think. Glad you liked her part. Ara ara... seeing past a part of the story isn't wise, but rather looking at it from a new perspective may give you the bonus of a deeper understanding of the character. Here's the next chapter, hope it was worth the wait.

AkioofWind: Yugito Nii, and number seven... ya know I'm gonna need names for the unnamed jinchuuriki... And I'm terrible with names... Ara ara... uhh... I'm open to suggestions... Thanks for the review.

Additional Author Notes:

The Jinchuuriki so far, using the numbers from the manga, as shown on the Naruto Wiki.

1: Sabaku no Gaara

2: Nii Yugito

3: Unnamed, blond male with a scar under his left eye.

4: Rōshi, older looking male (mid-20s to early 30s?)

5: Unnamed, big male covered in what looked to be armor from head to toe, with a smokestack on his back.

6: Unnamed, effeminate male, blows bubbles out of a pipe, likely to be a fun one to do.

7: Unnamed, tom-boyish female with green hair. Surprisingly not from one of the great five ninja villages.

8: Kirābī - For this one, you will see how horrendeously I murder the rap speak. Forgive me, please.

9: Uzumaki Naruto - Why does this name seem familiar?


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 18

Naruto looked at the stalking weapon-mistress, knowing that if he didn't do something and soon he'd be in serious trouble. Looking around nervously, he fought the rising panic as he noticed that no one was around, at least no one that was going to save him. Pulling on the dress to either rip it free or dislodge the kunai, he found that he couldn't even budge either one. "Hey Tenten-chan? Do you think that maybe you could just let me go? I mean it's the chase that's the fun part, right?"

"Oh silly Naruto," Tenten cooed as she finally arrived next to Naruto, and began rubbing his stomach and chest through the dress, outright molesting him. "The chase is good, but I'm not going to just let go of the prize in my arms now that I have it. Would you let go of a bowl of Ichiraku's special ramen?"

Naruto had to agree that, no he wouldn't. But right now he was a bit busy trying to figure out if he could gnaw out of his dress without hurting Tenten. "Well no, but I'm not just some prize to be won or lost Tenten-chan..." Naruto answered, contemplating a very destructive escape route. He just needed to get some space between him and Tenten, but he couldn't think of a way. "Hey Tenten-chan? You don't really wanna do this remember? It's all those pheromones, if you don't stop you'll regret it, and hate me, right? Maybe even hate yourself?"

Tenten leaned in to nibble lightly on Naruto's neck, causing a startled squeak to come out of the blonde before answering, "No Naruto," Tenten whispered lightly, her lips brushing against his ear's lobes lightly, "See... I've been watching you ever since you beat Neji. You are the type of man that I could be with. Brave, strong, passionate..." Tenten paused for a moment to lick Naruto's ear as her hand began traveling southward. "And... stamina to spare..."

Naruto's panic became even more intense as she began to go further than simple molestation, his mind was searching for an escape, but with her on top of him like she was, there wasn't a way he'd consider. Squirming around he tried to tuck the part she was searching for further between his legs, lest it betray him.

In the next instant several things happened all at once. First a familiar eight year old carrot topped form tackled Tenten from the side with a shout of, "NO TOUCHY MY DADDY!"

Second Shino's bugs converted the wedding dress into more of a mini-skirt, which Naruto wasn't certain he should be thankful for or not. And third, Kakashi and Gai sounded out that they'd found him on the rooftop behind him.

With a clear escape route, Naruto decided that he might want to take it, since going in any other direction would likely involve him getting violated several ways. Pausing only to snatch up Kon, to save her from the soon to be psychotic Tenten, Naruto took off at a full run out of the area. He couldn't help but swear that his life before this stupid jutsu wasn't so bad, loneliness he could deal with, being actively hunted and molested... not so much.

Hearing a poof sound, he looked down to see Kon back in her fox form, curling up in his arms, looking incredibly pleased with herself. Smiling back at her briefly, Naruto wondered what it'd be like to have kids of his own. This pleasant thought lasted all of five nanoseconds before he had to perform ninety-degree turn to avoid a weighted net that was thrown to ensnare him.

Hazarding a glance over his shoulder, he nearly wet himself seeing Tenten leading the group, passion and rage mixed in her eyes. Considering that Kakashi and Gai were flanking her, while a still trench coat-less Anko formed the fourth point of the diamond. If he got caught by them, he doubt very highly he'd be able to escape again.

Finding that another group was moving on an intercept course from the other direction, Naruto decided to alter his current course. Bending over, he tucked Kon firmly against his chest and charged in at the point man of the other group, smirking slightly as Neji's eyes widened slightly in surprise. Next to him Lee cried out that they're quarry was near, which was echoed by Kiba's shout, and Kurenai's bikini clad form calling out with catcalls and whistles. Judging the distance between the two groups, he knew he'd have to pull this off with perfect timing or he'd be at the mercy of first one group, then the other would likely just join in.

Getting to the midpoint between the groups, he smirked seeing that they were almost in range to catch him, that is, until gravity caused him to drop like a brick. Looking up, he watched the two groups smack into each other in mid-air, and fall after him. Okay, so maybe he hadn't thought this through all the way...

Looking down he smiled seeing an awning below him, sliding down the surface of that, he let that slow him down to the group, and took off towards his left, down the road he'd fallen onto. A quick right later, to avoid Temari and Sakura who had caught up on the ground level, he barely noticed that the other eight were still after him, though he would guess that they weren't likely to fall for the same trick twice. To be perfectly honest, he was almost certain it shouldn't have worked the first time.

Looking back to where he was running, he decided that instead of checking out the pursuit, he probably should have been paying attention to where he was going more. Skidding to a stop, he found himself standing in front of a wall to some building, at the end of a dead end street. Kon's whimpering as she looked over his shoulder informed him that the others were closing in.

A suicidally stupid idea struck him suddenly as he looked for an escape route, passing over the more mundane methods as being too easy for others to copy. Without turning around, he crossed his fingers and summoned forth a swarm of clones, one hanging back with him, while the others performed the first jutsu he had ever created with them.

"HAREM NO JUTSU!" was the only indication of what was going on behind him, before a tidal flood of warm moisture coated his back, that he refused to think about for right now. Instead he focused on his right hand, where a clone was helping him to form a Rasengan.

Tightening his grip on Kon with his left arm he prepped to slam the swirling ball of chakra into the ground. "Bit onto the collar of the dress and hold on tight!"

Once he heard her teeth biting into the dress, he slammed the Rasengan into the ground, and let it take the natural course. Instead of a target spinning and going flying, the moment he lifted his feet from the ground caused him to be spun around and launched into the air, flying off in a random direction. Getting over the vertigo of the moment, he looked around to see where they were heading, and smiled as he saw his apartment fast approaching. It wouldn't be much, but he could at least wash and change, then he'd at least not look and smell like he'd just fought and won a war single handed.

Taking the ninja path into the house is so much less painful when you are going slower, the window is open, or you manage to catch the window. Since none of the above seemed to be likely to come true, he curled protectively around Kon and went through the paper thin wall of his apartment back first. After pulling slivers of stone and chunks of wood out of his back, he looked at Kon, who seemed to want his attention, only to find out what she'd eaten last the hard way. He really didn't feel like identifying what she'd just thrown up all over his face, so instead he activated his traps, set up a couple noisy and non-lethal ones over the new hole, and went into the bathroom.

Ripping the dress the rest of the way off was easy enough, and the shower was mercifully hot right away. Apparently the month away did some good to his ancient water heater. Either that, or the water from the roof tank was heated by the sun enough to feel good enough. Scrubbing himself and Kon off was easy enough, catching Kon to dry her off less so. But soon enough he had his emergency set of ninja tools tucked away in his final spare outfit, before he'd have to break out the clothes from his childhood.

Looking around outside, he didn't see or sense anyone coming, so he decided to risk some time to make lunch. Ten minutes, and eight cups of instant ramen later he was full, and pleased that Kon had eaten the one he'd set aside for her. Rubbing her back, he got her attention and smiled. "Thanks Kon-chan, I'm sure your dad would be proud of how brave you are."

She looked up at him with teary eyes for a moment before a poof of smoke later, she reappeared in her human form and hugged him tightly, shocking the blonde as she wept into his shoulder. "I miss him! It's my fault! I'm sorry Daddy! Please come back!"

Naruto's initial shock wore off into a saddened expression as he hugged the young girl close rubbing her back gently. "Hey now... don't cry, I'm sure there's something we can do to make it better... How about you hang around me after I go back to normal?"

"Really?" Kon asked looking up at him with tear stained eyes. "Y... you don't mind me being around? I thought all humans hated us..."

Naruto gave her his biggest trust-me-I'm-the-good-guy-and-nothing-could-go-wrong smile he had, and scratched her behind the ears. "Sure kit, you're pretty cool, and one can never have too many friends. Besides, if the whole attack on the village thing was a mistake, I'm sure we can work things out to get your daddy back without killing me," Naruto offered, his smile never faltering, even as he doubted the possibility in his own mind.

"Sounds good... You can be my Aniki-san, right?" Kon asked with a cute little smile.

"Sure!" Naruto agreed, rubbing her back some more as her breathing slowed and a yawn escaped her mouth. "Tired imoto-chan? We've both had a busy day... let's catch a nap, ne?"

Naruto looked down to see Kon already fast asleep, clutching his shirt tightly in her small fingers. "Guess you don't need asked twice... will need to get you some clothes though..." Naruto mused gently, reaching over to pull his blanket off his bed to cover them, when she poofed back into fox form. A chuckle later, he covered them both, and let exhaustion carry him off to dream land, with his back to the wall.

A few rooftops away, Shino sat with the rest of the Aburame clan, discussing how using their Kikai bugs to form a protective dome around Naruto's apartment, with Hinata on the look out, was working as a defensive strategy. So far, there was no breakthroughs, but they could only give him so long before they ran the risk of losing control of their bugs, but the least they could do for the hero of Konoha was to give him time to rest.

Naruto found himself in a familiar sewer, and sighed heavily. He figured that this would happen, he just really wished that it could have waited. This was the first time he'd gotten to sleep in a long time, and he just didn't want to deal with a horny nine-tailed fox.

Sighing he walked towards the cage, and was shocked to find Kyuubi in his human form, looking at a still image of Kon in Naruto's lap. There were tears in the kitsune's eyes as he ran a finger along the jawline of Kon's chin in the image. Naruto sighed again before going over to the cage and banging on the bars lightly. "Hey Fox," Naruto called, deciding to be nice for once. "Why did you call me here?"

Looking up the kitsune blinked for a few minutes before lowering the image. "I just want to ask a favor... Watch out for her, I blew it last time when I attacked this village."

"You want me to protect her?" Naruto asked as he looked at the kitsune sternly, "I already decided to do so."

The Kyuubi smiled back as he leaned against the back wall of the cage. "Well, it's time for you to get some pleasant dreams, just walk out the tunnel behind you, and take the first left," Kyuubi instructed before looking at the image again. "Thank you."

Naruto left, walking away from Kyuubi for the first time he could remember. "You're welcome Fox, I'll see about getting you some visitor's hours."

Kyuubi watched Naruto's back as he walked away, smiling faintly. After a few minutes he whispered softly to the air, "Thank you... I know you'll hold yourself to that."