Here is the last very short chapter to this story!
Thank you all for reading this far into the story.
If you have any ideas for any other stories you can let me know.
Enjoy!
Jonah's POV:
(2 days after that night)
I haven't had a panic attack for a few days. I'm kinda in a state of wondering when the next will hit. It seems to be random even if I'm told it's not. There are all sorts of things that are supposed to be 'triggers,' but I haven't found them yet.
It's Monday today so I have to go to school. I really hope Cyrus didn't tell anyone about my 'issues.' I hope that T.J. didn't tell all of the asshats on the basketball team either.
"Hey sweetie" my mom says as I walk into the kitchen.
"Hey" I say, not planning to continue this conversation.
I walk out the door. It's pretty warm out. I wore a jacket just incase it wasn't. I walk a few blocks to school and go to homeroom. I'm the first to arrive. The teachers not even here yet. I guess I'll just doing a few pages of homework I didn't find the strength to do this weekend. I'm dreading lunch and what the people will say. I think they'll know. T.J. probably hopped at the first chance he got to slander my reputation.
(Lunch, 4 hours later)
I find Cyrus and Andi at the table.
"Hey guys" I greet.
"Hey, how's your day been so far" Andi asks.
"Fine, but it could be better" I reply.
I sat down next to Cyrus who's eying the muffins.
"If you want a muffin so much why don't you just get one" I ask.
"I did once" Cyrus replies.
"Once?" I ask in a state of half belief.
"Well T.J. helped, kinda" Cyrus says.
"It's a short story, but essentially T.J. did it because Buffy told him" Andi comments filling me in on the details.
"Since when have you..." I say, I'm not even sure where to start. I'm just realizing that I'm not even that important to their friend group anymore. Except to Cyrus. I miss dating Andi. At least when we were together I didn't have to worry about panic attacks. At least I was informed.
"Where's Buffy anyway?" I question.
"Packing." Andi shoots back.
"What?" I say not expecting an answer.
"Yeah her mom's moving and she is too, we found out after the bar mitzvah" Cyrus answered.
"Oh."
(After School)
I walk to the spoon alone. I walk in and sit in my normal spot.
"Hey" Amber says.
"Hey" I reply.
"My shifts over, can I sit with you?"
"Sure, go ahead, everything's Docious Magocious"
"You're overcompensating"
I just sigh.
"What's wrong Jonah?"
"Nothings going right, how are you doing?"
"Not great either, I don't know if I can afford the rent. I don't know if my mom is coming back."
"What happened?"
"My mom got upset he was blowing all of her money at the casino, so she stormed out. I haven't seen her around town either."
"Amber."
"I'm fine Jonah, seriously fine."
"We both know that means not fine at all."
"If I don't have her I don't know who I have."
"Well you have your friends."
"Only Iris now, after I went down hill they didn't want me anymore. Do you how it feels to be unwanted? To be stressed everyday?"
"Yeah, actually I do."
"Oh."
Amber walks out of the restaurant. She never cries in front of anyone. Not even Iris. She's just scared of being weak I guess. To be fair I don't like crying alone or in front of anyone either. It just feels like you're a weak loser, nobody wants that. You aren't wanted if you're a loser.
I kinda don't even want food anymore. Or to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone. I walk back to my house and sit in my room. It's around four. The sun is just starting to set. I don't turn the lights or the TV on. I don't look at my phone. For the first time in awhile I'm not thinking or feeling anything. I'm not even going to try. I just stare at the ceiling waiting for the light to fade...
