Alright, before I forget again, the garden of Naruto's is and will remain my friend's Mouse's idea, sorry about the delay in posting that, and the log joke with Sasuke was blatantly stolen from Naruto Abridged... ara ara, please no suing for fan copyright infringement. Now for some responses.

volrath77: Easy there killer, the fic is only getting to the climax.

Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: Thanks, I will, updated, yes you can, it's gonna get more interesting. Yeah, Tobi's cool, Sasuke's good for a laugh... and no... you can... cause I can't rap...

badkidoh: Ara ara, thank you, here's the update.

DazBoz: Glad you loved it, Sasuke always seems to hit wood... not implying anything mind, it's just that... yeah... Anko + Yugito = God. Save. Us. All.

ratpigeon: The biju are also under their own rules, and are also far less exposed to the pheromones than the ninjas of Konoha... and others. Kirabi is going to be... interesting...

Junexxx: Our lucky three hundredth poster, look for their prize in this chapter.

CelticReaper: He was probably a hair's breadth away I think, and yes, after they all get their first run, they'll make a comeback. Glad you enjoyed it, sorry about the logs, updated.

AkioofWind: Thanks... I think... and I'm pretty sure this story inspired the random/perviness.

Elemental Dragon Swordman: Hey, I like the pairing too, but if one were to get Naruto... EVERYONE would get him... seriously, unless he keeps moving, the pheromones are going to draw people like a magnet, and sweating would make it worse.

jolteonforever: Glad you liked it, the letter... yeah that's special... ara ara, very sweet, very sweet indeed ^.^ *knows something you don't yet* I'm still waiting for my shirt, though mouse is threatening to make his own (and mine too), not too sure about the libido being greater with each meeting, but he's sticking around probably... crackness should be enjoyed. It's only five-hundred years of pain, since it was one handed.

Kenta-Sonek-Raikiri: ^,.^ Isn't she?

naturokurosaki: Well if he didn't get away, the story'd kinda go straight to the XXX category, and I'm not ready for that... seriously though, the victors will get more than just a few minutes with him, if you know what I mean... *nudge nudge wink wink say-no-more* I wanna read that story when you find it.

spottedstar2: The log thing is a blatent rip off, and yes, he'll be forever scarred by them. Thanks, updated.

The-Eighth-Sin: Wow... never'd have thought to refer to it as that... yeah... a nice nod... ara ara... He could have, in more ways then one... Thanks

anotamous: Borderline you say? Hmm... maybe I should tone it back... I am pushing things I guess.

Anonymous: Yes Bob, there was a lot, wasn't there? Cup? Uhh... yeah... That line was interesting, especially the concept of ninjas being afraid of needles. Yugito is only marginally affected by the pheromones due to limited previous contact with him, and Nibi's restriction with being a demon. Good luck with the research, enjoy the chapter.

HikariNoTenshi-San: My bad, sorry, actually did mean to type light, not life... brain didn't reach all the way to the fingers I guess. Torture ends in under a day, and yeah... a bit of a surprise, but look at his teachers, it was bound to happen. It's dude, been mentioned a few times.

WINDXNINJA: No lie, most others would surrender by now too. Woohoo for the Naruto Abridged ripoff! here's some more of the story, enjoy!

Iron Reprieve: Wow is good right? Log rights activist? That's 500 years of pain... so very wrong... Tobi is a good boy! Thanks, prost!

Alyondria: Much love to Captain Porno, thanks, here it is!

CaptDutchboy: Yes... yes he does... The honorable one? The one looking for true love? Yeah... you'd think Jiraiya'd taught him better... *sighs* Ara ara... thanks, glad you liked it.

90MLLu: Captain Porno saves the day! And Kakashi's just great isn't he? Glad you enjoyed the vulgarity. That was a good pair of lines, in my opinion, glad others liked them too, Tobi was meant to be a surprise. And I liked that chapter too, glad others did too. Ara ara, is this soon enough for ya? And they said tomorrow never comes.


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 23

Naruto looked around nervously after having watched Yugito leave. He knew that she shouldn't have had the resistance to leave just like that, and yet she did just do that. Trying to figure it out was hurting his brain, but he figured out two things, her resistance was important, and Baa-chan should be told. Summoning up Gamatatsu, he discussed the findings he'd made and asked him to tell Baa-chan, promising a full bag of chips if he told her and came back with the information.

Shortly after the loyal toad left, he sniffed the air curiously as the scent of ramen drifted into the clearing he was in. Looking upwind he smiled as he found that Kon was carrying a takeout carrier from Ichiraku's on her back, with another familiar paled kitsune next to her. Walking over, he took the container off their backs and set it on the ground next to them. "Thanks Kon, and you too..." Naruto started to say, before pausing nervously and petting the pale one, "I'm sorry, I never learned your name."

"M...m...my n...name is.... is Miso..." the pale one stuttered out leaning into the petting, but still not meeting his eyes, "I'm... I'm g...glad to be of s...service Kyuubi-sama..."

"It's Naruto," the blonde shinobi corrected with a smile, "All my friends call me Naruto, are you Kon-chan's friend?"

"Y...Yes Naruto-sama..." Miso answered with a blush filtering up through her cheek fur.

"She's my bestest friend daddy!" Kon exclaimed proudly as she looped her tail over Miso's neck. "And you really made her popular when you asked her to help you earlier."

Naruto smiled widely as he scratched Miso behind the ears gently. "That's great! So... you two hooked up to deliver me some lunch eh? That's really nice of you."

Naruto reached over and opened the container and pulled out a bowl of ramen, slurping it down with one hand while petting and scratching his two little fox companions. After finishing the bowl he set it aside and leaned back with a sigh. It was nice to be able to take a break, but something was tickling the back of his mind. The demons had said that they would be giving him a half hour for lunch, but something about it didn't strike him as a good reason to relax his guard. With another sigh he lolled his head back and came face to face with a view most men would kill for.

In under a minute he learned two things that would change his life forever. First, Anko was very stealthy when she wanted to be. Second, Anko wore pink panties with red hearts and orange foxes on them.

It was while his brain was processing this that he heard a voice that haunted his nightmares since the chuunin exams. "Hey brat, enjoying the view?"

Letting out a startled gasp he rolled away from the psycho-snake lady, and started taking off into the woods, Kon and Miso flanking him while they sprinted through the trees. Anko on the other hand was right on his heels, giggling maniacally. "COME ON NARU-KUN! YOU SAW MY PANTIES! LEMME SEE YOURS!"

"NO!" Naruto shouted back, springing off a tree so that he turned ninety degrees from his previous course, "You've already seen me naked, so if anything you owe me!"

"But you were a fox!" Anko shouted back with a pout.

Naruto barely heard the whistling wind of her bolo before he found himself wrapped up in chakra wire and falling towards the ground. Before he hit however, Anko snatched him out of the air, and sprinted away. "Come on Naru-kun... it's time for some fun!"

Naruto's cries of panic and fear echoed throughout the forests surrounding Konoha, they faded out quickly as confusion overwrote his fear. Anko had tied him into a chair next to a table spread with food and tea. "Now... let's have some lunch Naru-kun..." Anko purred as she picked up a dango skewer and pulled one off with her teeth, leaning in as though to feed him from her mouth.

"Oh Kami thank you," Naruto's libido sang out happily, and Naruto could almost swear he saw himself wearing an odd white shirt with Kakashi's face on it, and the words 'Pornoteer' emblazoned in bold orange letters above it, crying tears of joy. "Now my stupid morals can't stop it!"

Ignoring his perverse self, he pulled away slightly. "Now Anko-san... I've already eaten, so I don't want to be rude, but I'm not hungry... sorry."

"MORON!" his libido cried out in agony as he realized what his main self was up to. "Be honest here Naruto, you want to ride her like a pony and show off that stamina of yours!"

Anko paused looking hurt for a moment before inhaling the dango in her mouth devouring it. A moment later she swallowed and smirked evilly. "Well now, then I guess we just have to work up an appetite."

Now it was Naruto's turn to gulp as she stood up, and began to sway her hips seductively, drawing close to the bound blond boy. While she approached, Naruto couldn't help but notice how little that fishnet body suit of hers actually covered, and how the trench coat covered just enough to make one wonder what was underneath.

". . . I take back the Moron comment. That was a brilliant plan!" his libido spoke in stunned excitement as Anko drew near.

Naruto whimpered as he tried to figure out a way to escape, his nails clawing into the rope frantically in a last ditch effort to free himself. Fortunately for him, two little naked girls tackled Anko from the side, sending her into the table where she hit her head. Shortly after, the two girls poofed into their fox forms and gnawed through the ropes binding Naruto in place. After he was freed, he went over and checked Anko carefully, making certain she wasn't that hurt. Finding that she would have a nasty goose egg, he decided to get her help.

"Kon, there's a woman with hair similar to my own, and wears a green coat in the village named Tsunade. Can you go get her and bring her here?" Naruto asked kneeling next to his tenant's daughter and her friend. "Miso, I need you to stay here and make sure she doesn't stop breathing, okay?"

Getting a nod from the pair, Naruto pointed at the table with a smile. "Help yourselves to the food after you get Baa-chan, it'd be a shame for that to go to waste."

The happy smiles from the pair lightened his heart, and so after giving them a hug goodbye he left them to their tasks, while he went to draw away any pursuit that was bound to come. He didn't get far however, as there before him were two people leaning against the trees. "Err... hi?"

"Hello kitsune-kun..." responded the shorter straw haired boy with a scar running down his left cheek. "I am Juno Tri-ex, container of the Sanbi turtle. This is my brother Yukimaru."

"Hello," Yukimaru answered with a nod before tilting his head in thought. "Is he the reason Sanbi allowed you in control Juno?"

"Yes Yuki, it is he," Juno answered with a nod. "Apparently in this form only the containers can mate, however when uncontained the demons would have gone as themselves."

"Oh!" Yukimaru tapped his fist into his palm as he exclaimed while his long straw hair fluttered in the breeze. "Is he supposed to be running like that?"

Juno looked at his brother, before turning to see Naruto's backside retreating in front of him. After a moment he sighed before beginning to pursue the sunshine haired boy, dragging Yukimaru along behind him.

Naruto made his way through the trees, trying to get away from the disturbingly solemn pair pursuing him. He had some idea as to how he'd manage to get away, but for now just running seemed to be working. Now he just had to ignore his libido ordering him to go back there and make like a convict just out of prison.

The sudden arrival of dozens of new chakra signatures alerted Naruto to a new problem. Looking around, he paled when he saw that there was dozens of odd ninjas in black full body suits with face masks. On their masks were odd mesh coverings over the eyes, long red head bands where their forehead protectors should be, and an odd foot like mark on their forehead. "What are you guys, ninjas of the village hidden in the feet?"

Ducking beneath the kick to his head from one of the less than amused ninjas, Naruto frowned in thought as he knocked a second one into the kicker. "Or maybe it's the hidden in toe jam village... seriously guys, your feet reek."

"I've tried to get them to clean better," spoke up a familiar voice of doom from behind him. "But the foot clan ninjas don't listen to me."

"Are these friends of yours Juno?" Naruto asked while glaring at the jinchuuriki who had become his latest tormentor.

"They are loyal servants of mine; they are followers of Sanbi's container, and the Sanbi itself. I don't know why but they always refer to me as ninja-turtle-sama," Juno explained while two of the newly dubbed 'foot clan' ninjas pinned Naruto to the ground, while another pair latched onto his legs.

Naruto groaned as he looked at the two ninjas holding his arms down. They weren't even that strong, but they had gotten some leverage on him to hold him down . . . for all of ten seconds. He brought his arms up, and slammed their heads together, and then pushed their unconscious forms into the ones holding his legs. Watching them sprawl on the ground and trip over each other to get up, he let out a groan of agonized pity. "They don't train much do they?"

"No... no they don't..." Juno explained with a heavy sigh, his forehead resting in his hand. "Look, let's just say you went one tailed on them, and spare them some of their pride?"

"Yeah... I'll just be going then..." Naruto explained before running away again.

"What a nice guy," Juno mused for a moment before his brother pointed after Naruto.

"Weren't you supposed to chase him?" Yukimaru asked curiously while still pointing after the retreating orange clad ninja. Juno paused for a moment before slamming his head into the nearest tree. "Ah... I suppose that answer that."

While Juno took off after Naruto again, one of the foot clan ninjas was picking up the supplies they had scattered across the ground when they'd been knocked together. Yukimaru watched him for a moment before picking up a metal item and held it out. "Are you missing this?"

The foot clan ninja looked back and asked, "What?"

Yukimaru held up the metal device with a simple smile. "The shredder."

"Thank you Yukimaru-san," the ninja said before taking the shredder back.

Meanwhile, Naruto was springing through the trees like one of his toad summons on a sugar high. The foot clan ninjas and Juno were in hot pursuit. Crossing his fingers he summoned forth a few dozen clones to run interference, and sent them out in waves while he chose a random direction to run away. Seeing most of the foot clan ninjas split off to chase his clones he guided Juno and the remaining ninjas on a wild goose chase through the flora and fauna droppings of the forest.

At that moment, he was saved, to be hopeful about it, by the arrival of an orange wedding dress clad form that kicked Juno into the remaining foot clan ninjas. Naruto watched as the large male form stripped off his dress, and revealed himself wearing a seemingly painted on green latex speedo and some odd tasseled circles on his chest over his nipples. Somewhere deep in his psyche the voice of his libido questioned, "Why... why for the love of Kami is Gai wearing pasties?"

Fighting back the rising feeling of bile, Naruto barely heard Gai's proud proclamation of his arrival. "Fear not youthful Naruto-kun! I am here to protect you from the unyouthful ninjas who were pursuing you! If I fail, I shall do a million laps around Konoha on my pinkies!" Gai's shout ended with the most mental scaring thing Naruto would ever consider possible. Gai, proudly in his nipple covers and speedo was winking saucily and giving him the nice guy smile with the patented shiny ping.

"BONZAI!" Juno's cry of attack interrupted the nausea inducing vision, letting Naruto skip town while they were busy tearing each other apart. Naruto's escape lasted for about five minutes before he ran into Yukimaru, literally.

While they pulled themselves up and dusted off their clothes, Yukimaru tilted his head. "Oh, did your hour with brother end already? That's a shame, he was talking about how he wanted to thank you for giving him time as a human... his seal is not nearly strong enough to contain Sanbi..."

Naruto blinked for a moment before pointing to the village. "If you go that way, you'll find a ninja village. Ask for Jiraiya and Tsunade, and they might be able to help you out."

"Thank you very much Kitsune-san. Good luck with the remaining 19 hours," Yukimaru offered before hugging him close, groping him playfully. As he walked away he smirked at the stunned sunshine haired boy. "I was curious if your butt cheeks were as firm as they looked, thank you for letting me find out."

Leaving Naruto to his look of what-the-hell-just-happened, we find Yukimaru walking past a grizzly looking man with bright red hair back in a high ponytail, and a full beard, with a strap of grey fabric over his nose. "He's all yours in a few minutes Master Roshi."

"Gah, please don't call me that kid..." the redhead groused as he shuddered.