The-Eighth-Sin: Heh, well, you just have to wonder where it is...

geetac: Thank you, I do too.

Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: Thanks! Ara ara, I'm trying.

Elemental Dragon Swordman: They're actually not specified officially save for 1, 2, 3, 8, and 9... Yes... yes he did say it.

CaptDutchboy: Yeah, I've had to light pilots before... not fun... Ara ara... here's the next one.

Alyondria: Schizophrenic, stealth color challenged, loud, and hyper-active know-it-all ninja pranksters... Ara ara... I just scared myself...

volrath77: Congrats, you out perved me... you must be so proud...

CelticReaper: Yeah, eventually the girls will make a come back... there needs to be more kunoichi though... ara ara, so few among so many... updated.

jolteonforever: Thanks... no not viagra... sorry about the physical harm... updated... alpha reader reads it before the beta... normally while I'm writing it... good sounding board.

badkidoh: Thank you, next update below.

HikariNoTenshi-san: Not too sure about that, maybe... well he's earned his victory dance, no?

spottedstar2: YATTA! I wuv you so much! Yeah, the girls hit back... and fail... thanks for the review!

helovestowrite: Hey, love is love man... and lust is a dirty, confusing thing... also, a ninja's life is too short to limit one's romantic choices, no? Thanks for the grading.

Lover Of Ikuto: I'm not sure how I do it... maybe it's just a lot of build up... Ara ara, thank ya.

FairoNeko: He wasn't always sealed in Naruto's gut... and I figure demons can hold grudges...

AkioofWind: Here's more of my work, laugh away me hearty, laugh away all! ARA ARA!

Kenta Raikiri: Hope your ankle heals up nicely... glad that I can brighten an otherwise dreary day for ya.

Fallen Dragonfly: . . . Did someone let sniper!Hinata out of my random ficlets? Oi clean up!

Konoha no Kiroi Senko: Translation for that name please? Ara ara... yeah that was robi... and the hippie was hip.

90MLLu: Sakura is such a good character come Shippuden, strong and versitile, while in the beginning... to me she was just kinda... there... Here's some more.


Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism

Chapter 26

Naruto's joyful tune was cut off when he wondered if he might have hit his head too hard the last time. For suddenly in every single direction he looked there were bubbles... millions upon millions of bubbles. Something smelt off about the bubbles, so Naruto decided that it might be best to give them a wide berth, until he could figure out where they're from. After a few minutes he stumbled upon a blue kimono wearing man, who could give Shikamaru a few pointers in laziness.

He was sprawled out in the center of the clearing, blowing bubbles out of an odd looking pipe, and then watching them drift through the air. With blurry eyes, he looked over at the orange clad Naruto and waved. "Hey man, grab some turf," the man called out, "We can chill and have fun with bubbles..."

"Uh that's alright... uhh..." Naruto prompted, trying to figure out this strange guy.

"Oh riiiiight the whole pheromone thing..." the blue clad man drawled out while blowing out a triangle shaped bubble. Watching it float away, he seemed content to enjoy the silence before he interrupted it again. "Don't worry about it... Rokubi's cool... he just wants to hang out. I suppose it'd be weird doing your brother... but hey free love is cool man. Want a hit?"

Naruto blinked at the information suddenly assaulting his brain, when the question finally registered, now he knew why he wanted to avoid the bubbles. They smelled of that weird opium stuff that weird lady smoked, Jiraiya said that it was a powerful, and highly addictive drug. And if there was one thing he learned from his younger days of reading manga, was that drugs were Bad!

"No thanks, I'm good..." Naruto replied, backing away slowly. "So... you're not going to chase me?"

"Naw man, too much hassle for us, Rokubi and I just wanna chill for a bit..." the mellowed Biju-container answered blowing a few dozen more bubbles out of his pipe.

Naruto blinked at the casual way that the container mentioned his demon contained within him. Against his better judgment, he settled down on the ground at the base of a tree a short distance away from the very odd and disturbing young man. "I'm Naruto... and you are?"

"Oh riiight the name thing..." the medicinally inebriated male answered as he took a deep breath in through his pipe, releasing it a moment later in a rather large bubble. "They call me Jin... dunno my real name, the people that raised me just called me that 'cause I was a Jinchuuriki..."

"I see..." Naruto nodded like some great plot point had been revealed.

"Yeah man, but don't worry, I'm not a ninja..." the newly dubbed Jin continued as he watched his bubbles dancing around. "The people I grew up with were against the whole war and killing thing..."

"Oh?" Naruto asked intelligently as he watched the weird bubbles floating towards him. "So... what were they like?"

"Mellow, they just enjoy life," Jin said lazily as he watched the bubbles forming castles in the sky over them. "They settled down on an island a few miles on the other side of the border from here, and lived in peace, not dealing with the ninjas and things..."

Naruto decided to leave the man to his peacefully lethargic state of being. Stepping away, he accidently let one of the bubbles get too close... FAR too close. In fact Naruto got stuck inside the bubble, feeling a pleasant buzzed feeling rolling over his body slowly. After the bubble popped, Naruto staggered out of the clearing, laughing faintly.

Twenty staggering steps into the woods, Naruto crashed into a familiar red garbed form. "ERO-SENNIN!"

Jiraiya groaned pitifully as he tried to stabilize the obviously influenced Naruto. "Hey brat... I told ya not to call me that..." Jiraiya sighed as he looked over Naruto, pulling him closer into a hug. "Come here, let me make sure you're alright..."

Naruto however caught the perverted twinkle in Jiraiya's eye, and applied the appropriate leverage to dangling bits in between Jiraiya's legs to disengage himself from the famous author. "Oh no you don't, you did this to me Ero-sennin, and now you gotta pay!"

The next thing Jiraiya knew, Naruto was wailing on him. Apparently Naruto when stoned, is possessed by the bully from every kid's days in school. As Jiraiya wanted to curl up in pain around his poor violated jewels, Naruto used his own hands to punch him. "Stop hitting yourself Ero-sennin! Stop hitting yourself! Why are ya hitting yourself?"

After curb stomping his perverted mentor into the forest undergrowth, Naruto walked away a bit straighter than earlier. Meanwhile, Jiraiya croaked out a pained moan from the crater of the forest floor in which he'd been beaten into. "Okay... so maybe that jutsu... wasn't my best idea..."

Naruto's body eventually cleared out the drugs from his system, with a lot of thanks due to Kyuubi. However, with the clearing of his system, Naruto passed out and collapsed to the ground. Finding himself in the ever dank and dingy sewers of Kyuubi's seal, Naruto sighed and went to find what the old fox was up to. What he found was likely to scar his mind for eternity ever more. There was Kyuubi, leaning against his cage's bars, a lampshade on his head, and a huge grin on his face. "Oh yeah... bro always had good shit..."

Naruto decided that instead of sticking around, he'd just turn around and find something more interesting to look at. Remembering the directions from his previous visit, he found his way to his dream room. What he found was somewhat damaging to his current mentality.

"Hey there man... niiice... a small harem... and you doing that jutsu of yours at the same time..." his libido commented while watching the writhing mob of body parts in front of them. "Are you seriously that limber? DAMN! I mean come on... not only are you getting girls, and Shino... but you're also doing it lesbian style at the same time! Okay so you're also doing yourself, but it's all good mate..."

Naruto decided that it might be better to wake up, thus after being rocketed away by the bloody nose geysers from the sight before him, he was more than happy that hitting the far wall woke him up, only to find himself staring into the lazy half smile of Jin. "Hey man... have a good trip?"

"Uh... no not really..." Naruto answered while rubbing his head. "Ugh... I hope never to see that again..."

"Dude... ya gotta learn to mellow out man..." Jin groaned as he leaned back, taking a hit off his pipe, releasing the sweet smelling bubbles into the air. "If you don't mellow out man, you'll never enjoy life... and then you'll just be a tool of the Man... but then I suppose you know that being a shinobi and all..."

"We're not all tools Jin..." Naruto countered as he rolled to a sitting position, "In fact, some of us are humans first... or at least we think of ourselves as humans first... and then we're ninjas."

As if to prove the point in some cosmically significant way, Kakashi showed up at that precise moment to show up, kneeling before Naruto. "Oh noble soul of Naruto... I, Captain Porno have come to rescue you! Come away with me and we shall be eternally happy!"

Sasuke chose that moment to enter in great gouts of flame, striking a victory pose, which Naruto would have sworn he copied off of Lee, and shouted his support, "YES! I, the bearer of the power of Smut shall support you ever more!"

Naruto was trying to figure out if Kakashi's speedo, or Sasuke's string bikini was the worse outfit, when Neji stepped out in a school girl's uniform, a blush on his cheeks. "I the wielder of the title of Voyeur shall watch over your relationship... always..." This was made a bit more creepy in nature, when Neji activated his Byakugan and Naruto could swear he was looking under his clothes.

Naruto's mind was still rebooting from that mental disturbance, and ignoring his libido's raucous laughter, when Sakura stepped out, still sooty and scuffed up from his little 'accident' earlier. "I the queen of Smut shall follow your yummy yaoi love fest," Sakura called out proudly, while holding up a camera, her smile going so perverted that Jiraiya would have been proud.

Speaking of the super pervert, Jiraiya stepped out with a bag of ice strapped to his crotch, a steak over his left eye, and his right arm in a splint. He groaned out softly, "I... the supreme Pervert... will chronicle... your relationship... for my next novel..."

Finally Naruto sighed and watched as Anko sashayed out, wearing only her jacket which was closed to hide her privates, but lacking the rest of her usual uniform. Attached to her hip was Kurenai who was wearing only a long t-shirt and a smile. "We the tart goddesses will accept your relationship, so long as you're fun about it."

Jin looked at his pipe and smiled widely. "Duuuude this some real chronic shit..."

"No... this is an example of genjutsu... done by someone with raging hormones..." Naruto groaned as he watched Kurenai eyeing him like a piece of meat, the others performing their song from the other day. "Yeah... I'm running now..."

A second later, Naruto was a puff of smoke, and the real one was half a mile away and gaining. Ducking around trees, and over branches, he shuddered as the memories of his clones reached him. It seemed that one couldn't get far enough away from the clones until you no longer gained their memories. "DUDE! Why'd you run! They'd have been on you like broth on ramen!"

Instead of responding to the figment of his overly aroused imagination, Naruto kept running away from the insane and horny mob that was just now realizing that their fox had slipped out of the trap. To be honest, he had no idea where to run to, but he knew that he'd have to keep moving, or else he'd never walk right again.

Diving under a tree's roots, he sighed heavily as he gathered his bearings. Finding that he was fairly safe for the moment, he rubbed the sides of his head, trying to jump start his brain into evasion mode. The lack of sleep, coupled with the seemingly endless amounts of sexual based insanity was driving his mind down a rather dangerous path, one that he knew if he succumbed to, would never release him.

Perking up his ears, he caught the sounds of padded paws approaching, and the high pitched whines that for some reason his mind assigned to foxes. Leaping into the trees, he began sprinting away, finding that his instincts had served him well once again. Moments after he had cleared out, the trio of speedo wearing foxes descended on the root hovel he had ducked into. Shaking his head as the three got stuck; he fought against the instinctive curiosity he always felt when he tried to figure out where foxes got speedos and other weird outfits like that.

A drawled out, "Hey man, welcome back..." caught Naruto's attention as he found himself in the clearing with Jin again. Coming to a dead stop on the branch, he rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out how he got that turned around. Blaming it on the foxes, he sighed and looked around the clearing, noticing that some bubbles were now enacting a game of chess.

"Hey Jin... uhh... where'd the others go?" Naruto asked cautiously, crouching down on the branch as he continued to survey the area.

"Oh man, you missed it..." Jin laughed before taking another toke from his pipe. "After you left, that Tart chick was all pouty and whimpering to the red eyed babe. She then did this freaky hand thingy and the guys all just took off running in different directions. The girls then started kissing and stuff, before disappearing. DUDE! You gotta let me move here!"

"Uhh... you'll have to talk to Granny Tsunade..." Naruto answered cautiously, "She's about a head taller than me, blonde hair in two pigtails, and a chest the size of two beach balls. Can't miss her, if you do, just ask anyone for the Hokage."

"Thanks dude, hey maybe we can chill out sometime and have some fun with bubbles..." Jin smiled as he lay out on the grass again, watching bubbles float through the sun. "Dude when I saw that pink girl start making out with the school girl... that was awesome!"

"Err... the school girl was a guy..." Naruto answered as he relaxed slightly. "At least I thought he was..."

"Don't go harshin' my mellow man..." the stoned man groaned as he released another bubble into the air. "Not cool dude... not cool at all."

"Right... sorry about that..."

"Hey, no worries man, just let's chill and dig the awesomeness of nature man, ain't it just far out?"

Naruto paused in answering for a few minutes, to really wonder about what was all in those bubbles once again, before considering what Jin had meant. Looking around he had to admit nature around Konoha had always been beautiful, and peaceful. "Yeah... I guess it is..."

"Oh yeah... before I forget man," Jin answered as he pulled out a bag of chips, "Know where I can get some ramen? I got some major munchies for it..."

"Ichiraku's in Konoha, just go down the main street until you smell the ramen, then follow your nose," Naruto answered, drawing out a dirt map in the ground for the stoner. "They are the best ramen place in the world."

"I've heard of it man, awesome..." Jin rolled up to his feet and began walking out with a swaying gait that made one wonder just how many trees he saw at that moment. A few steps out of the clearing, Jin looked back and waved. "Oh by the way, my turn ended ten minutes ago!"

No sooner did that registered with Naruto's already over taxed mentality, than a pair of orange eyes suddenly popped up out of nowhere. Staggering back, Naruto found himself looking at an odd feminine looking person. Their orange eyes were offset by the light green of their hair, a strange red 'X' of cloth over their chest masked any signs of whether they were male or female, as did their white low riding shorts. For now though, Naruto was ready to go with female, especially when she began talking in a smooth and soft purring like sound, which struck a slight discord with her words. "Hello Naru-kun... I'm Yua, and I'm here to rape you."

"WOOHOO! A binding love! She's gonna be kinky!" Naruto's libido exclaimed as Yua started coming closer, forcing the poor blonde to whimper softly. It grew worse when Yua held up a leaf between her first two fingers. "AND LESBIAN ACTION TOO! ALRIGHT!"