Warning: Extremely baaaaad raping... rapping I meant rapping! The other one should have been on the summary... especially for your minds.
volrath77: I'm glad you liked it... tissue?
zeynel: Ya know... I have about ten or twenty endings in mind... gotta pick one.
Trinity the Kitsune Kunoichi: I'll add akatsuki in asap... and I'm REALLY sorry about the rapping...
geetac: Thank you.
CelticReaper: Glad you liked that part. A: No it would almost be expected at this point... updated
HikariNoTenshi-San: Heh, you know... the libido is a fun character to play with... updated.
Elemental Dragon Swordman: Wow... two nasel discharges of vital fluids... nice.
helovestowrite: I hope you enjoyed it while I proved you wrong. Here's the next chapter.
badkidoh: Thank you, and here's the update.
The-Eighth-Sin: Glad you're enjoying it, and the genre of crackalicious fics. Makes me happier that I enjoy them.
FairoNeko: No... it's the eight tails. but you were only off by one...
Stephanie8D: Yep, FemNaruto... poor Konoha...
Aracade: Ara ara... I swear I didn't know it was illegal at the time! I'm sorry... I'll change my ways...
90MLLu: Thanks for reviewing, glad that there was so many parts that you liked. Though I'd have to disagree that the best way would be Sakura in a bowl of ramen, maybe making out with Hinata and Ino.
Kenta Raikiri: Is it worse that you're arguing with yourself, or that you lost?
esyas123: Glad you're enjoying it, here's the next chapter.
AkioofWind: You wouldn't last five seconds. Always fun to hear about how horrible I can make things.
CaptDutchboy: That she is.
Sasunaru101: Thank you!
Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism
Chapter 28
Naruto was trying to see if he couldn't find that huge bowl of Hinata flavored ramen again, when he heard the most spine chilling sound to ever reach his ears. "Yo yo yo yo! Kirabi is in the hizzouse!"
Despite every fiber of his body begging him to not look, he couldn't stop from looking at the source of the noise. What he found defied logic, good taste, and even decency. There was a large adult man with dark skin, midnight black parachute pants, white half-breastplate, white scarf, white gloves, white headband, and a mess of sword handles on his back. "I'm going to guess you're the eight-tails container..." Naruto groaned out as he looked at the shade wearing man.
"Oh, such a sweet, tight package as all that," the rapping man cooed while striding forward, "And still room for brains... love the tat..." With the compliment, Kirabi stroked Naruto's cheeks lightly, with lust in his eyes, incidentally indicating the tat being referenced.
Naruto pulled back with a nervous laugh. "Yeah... about that... what exactly are you going to be doing?"
"Awww shoot man, don't worry about that crap! All you gotta do is love my rap," Kirabi purred softly as he eyed up the blond ninja. "For once I start to suckle on your neck's nape... It will be your sweet ass that I r..."
Naruto didn't bother sticking around to let the rapping Jinchuuriki finish that sentence, instead booking it away from him as fast as he could possibly muster. And in anyone had seen him just now, they'd have sworn he ripped open a gate or something.
Naruto had learned in his travels with Jiraiya that rappers would only lead to trouble in the long run, especially ones that sang about sex, violence, or anything involving body contact. This one was worse than he could even have imagined. The parachute pants barely covered the arousal of Kirabi, and Naruto knew that if he lost to him, he'd never be able to sit right again.
"So it is a chase is his wish..." Kirabi chuckled out as he chased after the orange clad kitsune with a soft whistle. "I shall tame him as my bitch!
Naruto rebounded off a tree, and wished against all hope that his eyes didn't see what they had just burned into their retinas. Apparently the log that Yua had been using to 'distract' Sasuke, had gotten bored and left him plastered to the surrounding forest by what looked to be a thick layer of tree sap. It had now moved on up the traitor ladder, as was now coating Orochimaru in the same sap-like substance. "Ah yeah, yew like dat, don't ya twiggy?"
"DAYUM! Those two have been logged..." Kirabi observed as he caught up to Naruto, "How about I show you how to get snogged?"
"Pass!" Naruto shouted back, flipping in mid run, so that he was running back the exact direction he had just come from. Instead of passing by the scene of Orochimaru and Sasuke's violation by living plant life, Naruto hung a left, heading toward Konoha. If nothing else, he could at least find distractions for the rapper pursuer he had picked up.
However, the taller male instead sprinted ahead and stopped, holding out a gift wrapped box. "A gift for you, straight out of the blue!"
Naruto took the gift, and seeing the eager puppy look that Kirabi seemed to have on his face, he decided to just open it. After all, he didn't get that many gifts, so he could at least enjoy this feeling for a while. Opening the box, he frowned in puzzlement as a reflective surface inside shined back an image of his kitsune look, and he noted that he could use a shower, and if he was seeing right, a shave too.
Pulling the reflective surface free from the box, he blinked as he saw that it was the seat of a pair of reflective pants. "Awww yeah, I can't wait to see myself in your pants. Now let's talk about breast implants..."
Naruto did the only sensible thing he could think of... he let Kirabi see himself in the pants, by shoving them down over the rapper's head and running away. Sensing Kirabi coming after him again, he decided to use one of his best tricks. Summoning hundreds of clones to divert Kirabi's attention, he lost himself in the swarming army of clones.
"Now, that's what I'm talking about," Kirabi shouted with a laugh as he looked at the sea of orange jumpsuits before him. "That many clones mean a lot of clout. Let's go back to my place by the sea, and we'll have an old fashion orgy!"
Naruto suppressed a shudder through sheer force of will, mostly so he could focus on running away from the rapper's bad rhymes. Thankfully, the sheer mass of clones did the trick again, sending Kirabi off on a wild goose chase. Meanwhile, Naruto just wanted to curl up and die, for there before him was a severely pissed off Anko, holding what seemed to be a shaved and trembling fox.
"Did you really think this would stop me?" Anko growled out, drawing closer, her snakes hedging Naruto in on all sides. "I mean come on! At least use a Reynard, instead of a vixen!"
Naruto felt bad for the vixen that was now currently sporting a poodle cut, but to be honest, he couldn't really summon up the actual pity for the poor thing, especially as it was now eying him like a piece of meat. A minute later his worry about the fox was mitigated by another, smaller and more familiar pair sneaking up from behind Anko and latching onto her ankles viciously.
Springing forward, he kneed Anko in the gut, and then neck chopped her in hopes of knocking her out for a while. The puff of smoke told him that he was in trouble; the swarm of snakes binding his legs, arms, and assistants in place were just mere reaffirmations at this point.
The feeling of snakes holding your limbs in place was one thing, being physically turned around and forced to look at someone by the same snakes was another entirely different feeling. Neither of which Naruto could say he'd recommend, especially not with how that one snake seemed particularly interested in hovering around the base of his tail.
What Naruto found when the snakes managed to turn him around was that Anko was standing there, smiling seductively as she leaned forward, her trench coat opening just enough so that Naruto could see the defined curves of her breasts and if she moved a little to the left, the hard tips of a nipple through the fishnet material underneath.
"OH YEAH! That's the sweet stuff..." libido Naruto moaned while appearing as a professor in front of Anko, pointing out the breast area. "As you can see here, they are firm... round... and so fully packed... You want to smother yourself in them. You want to motor boat them. You want to suck on them like a babe fresh from the womb. Do you UNDERSTAND ME!?!"
Ignoring that his perverted sex drive seems to have a dress-up fetish, and has gone completely around the bend, Naruto had to agree that Anko really did have a nice pair of breasts. But he also knew that taking advantage of her during this jutsu was wrong. He had to think of something, and fast, before she did something he figured she would regret, nearly as much as he himself would.
The main problem with that idea was that he was trapped, and Anko had years of experience on him. He was lucky to get this far already, so he shouldn't be surprised if he lost.
"Yes... submit... give in to the inevitable..." the libido whispered as he rubbed his hands together evilly, "You want this Naruto... submit..."
That cinched it for the sunshine haired young shinobi, he would fight with every fiber of his being against surrendering to his impulses to breed. Seeing a clone on the far side of the clearing he smirked and laughed. "It's a shame, you got the wrong one!" Using a little bit of chakra, he summoned up a screen of cloud, while the other one called out, getting Anko's attention. Thankfully, the splitting of attention was enough for Naruto to get one arm free of the snakes holding him. This allowed him to swing his arm over to form the henge hand seal, changing his form into that of a small two-tailed fox again.
Not wasting a moment, he leaped out of the snakes trying to recapture him, and bolted for the gate. His breakaway was interrupted, sadly by the last person he wanted to see right now. There was Kirabi, holding out a collar already attached to a leash. "Oh foxy little thang, come and suck on my wang. For now you'll be my pet, and such will be no sweat."
Naruto did what he felt was the only justified and logical action. He sprang forward and up and bit down on Kirabi's crotch with as much force as he could muster. The high pitched squeal coming from the formerly low voiced male would have caused Naruto to curl in sympathy pain any other day of the week, but not today. Today he was sick of being chased around, hunted non-stop, humiliated, violated mentally and physically. Today, he got some pay back!
Springing away from the fallen male, Naruto turned on Anko shortly after she dispersed his last clone. His hackles raised, fangs bared, and aggressive stance was enough for her to realize that someone had crossed the line, and slowly began backing away. One sharp glance to where Kon and Miso were caged in by snakes sent a pretty clear indication of what he wanted to happen, his eyes going blood red helped in that respect too. As soon as the younger two were free, and safely beside him, he began looking them over for injuries before signaling them to go into town and stay there. He had some business out here to take care of.
A quick check of his libido found that the normally expressive and dominate mentality had its tails firmly between its hind legs, and was whimpering something like 'I'll be good...' Anko had her hands up, and was still backing away carefully, knowing better than to rile a cornered animal. And that's when the atmosphere was ruined.
Apparently a month without decent rest or food brought back a familiar old pain in the ass. A grumble in his stomach was the only indication that something was amiss, shortly before he let the most gaseous and vile smelling fart he could imagine, and that was just the first wave. The brown matter that was blasted out on the second wave made it even worse. Anko could only gape at the horror developing before her eyes. The eight-tailed Jinchuuriki was soon coated in liquid fecal matter, and potentially suffocating from the odor.
Anko couldn't be certain, but before the odor knocked her out, she could almost swear that Naruto's fox form was blushing through his fur itself. At least she wasn't like her favorite pet snakes, they smelled with their tongues, and the thought of what that would have meant was more than even Anko would want to consider.
Naruto looked at the blast radius surrounding him sheepishly, hoping to any power that be that he could hold his breath long enough to get clear. Instead of checking the two downed people, he decided that it would be best to get clear. After all, Granny Tsunade would have special suits for rescuing them. At least he hoped so.
Getting to the clear area finally, he took a deep breath of fresh air, and hoped no one went too close to the brown vegetation without proper protection. Returning to his normal form, he began sneaking away as fast as he could. After all, what he had just done should probably be listed as a forbidden jutsu.
Naruto's reprieve was short lived however, as he soon felt chakra signatures coming towards him. Leaping away from the scene he decided that keeping on the move for the rest of the time might be a better plan than anything else, especially if he was able to calm down both his emotions and his stomach.
"Hey dude... how about we send a toad to Baa-chan for some medicine and food? That might help you out... just tell the toad to talk to Anko and Kirabi, and she'll be able to help out..." his libido asked, still slightly cowed from Naruto's snapping earlier.
Thinking about it for a moment he nodded and summoned up one of the smaller messenger toads, Gamaken, who seemed inordinately happy at having been summoned. "HEYA BOSS! OH WOW! YOU'RE NARUTO! TATSU AND KICHI TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME! THIS IS SO AWESOME! MY FIRST SUMMONS AND IT'S THE AWESOME BOSS! NOT THE PERVY ONE!"
Naruto looked at the screaming toad that had to have been ninety percent lungs to get the volume he was putting out. "Yeah... look can you do me a favor? I need someone to run into town and tell the Hokage or a doctor that I need some medicine sent out. Can you do that for me?"
"SURE CAN BOSS!" the toad bellowed while Naruto continued carrying him along the wall, keeping track of the other signatures as best as he could. "JUST TELL ME WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE, AND I'LL TELL THEM NO PROBLEM!"
"She's tall, has large breasts, wears a green jacket, and reeks of alcohol," Naruto explained before slowing to a stop. "Here's where you get off."
"SURE THING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS!!!!" the toad shouted with glee as he was flung over the wall.
Naruto lowered his arm to massage his poor abused ears. He really wished that the ringing would stop, really he would, and it would be very nice. Springing away again, he began sprinting through the branches of trees to get away from the approaching chakra signatures.
Pulling out some remaining marbles from his pockets, he spread them out over the area he landed on in a clearing. Leaping up into the tree in a direct line from the chakra signature that was approaching he waited for his prey to arrive.
He was only mildly surprised when Kirabi landed on the marbles, slid into a young tree, one leg on either side of said tree. Wincing in sympathy pain, he heard his pursuer squeaking out. "Oh fair Naruto, you have laid me low. I merely ask that you quit turning my groin to goo. It is time for me to say adieu, while I get some ice for my crotch. So peace out BIATCH!"
"Go take a bath, and hang out with the others..." Naruto answered, looking down at him cautiously. "Do I get a break from you guys?"
"Yes..." Kirabi whimpered while slinking out cupping his abused groin. "One hour."
Naruto smiled and left the large dark skinned shinobi to go lick his wounds. He hoped that he'd at least get something to eat before the next round came. Maybe even some medicine too... speaking of which, he had to find a bush to deal with the digestive problem again.
