Hey all, sorry about this chapter being short, and not responding to reviews. It's now 1:43 AM on Thursday locally, and I'm late posting. I'm not really feeling all too well, and have been busy. Again, sorry for the shortness and lack of responses. I'll try to make it up to ya'll. Just one answer. Naruto now has about 14 hours left... and it's going on evening. Enjoy.
Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism
Chapter 29
Naruto sighed heavily as he enjoyed the first few minutes of his break from the Jinchuuriki. It was nice that they would be leaving him alone; he could only hope that the others would follow their example. A minute later, he held out his hand to catch the arrival of a familiar loud-mouth toad that was falling down out of the sky with an ear shattering scream.
"HEYA BOSS! NICE CATCH!" Gamaken shouted, while digging out a bottle from his hip pouch. "THAT LADY TOLD ME TO GIVE THIS TO YOU! HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER!"
A moment later, he sent toad back home, reading the instructions on the bottle carefully. He smiled thankfully as Tsunade-baa-chan had added some ground aspirin to this batch, maybe he'd have to skip calling her baa-chan for a day as thanks. Quickly downing the medicine he winced at the after taste and shuddered. A minute later he sighed as the headache from the loud toad started receding. Tucking the bottle away in a pocket he took off into the trees again, hoping to avoid any of the attention that toad would have likely drawn.
Coming to a lake where he could get a drink to wash out the taste from his mouth, he looked around cautiously. He knew that anyone out hunting him would probably realize he'd need a drink eventually, and this was among a few of the drinkable water locations near Konoha. Seeing and sensing nothing nearby he allowed himself to settle on the ground, and creep closer to the water. His eyes kept scanning the area, knowing that he was in the open here. The bad news was that he was exposed due to how open the area was. The good news was that he'd get a good chance to see them coming before they got to him.
Kneeling down between two thick bushes, he scooped out a couple handfuls of water, gulping them down swiftly he continued to scan the area, feeling like he was being watched. For some reason his libido was singing a weird song. There didn't seem to be any words, but it set Naruto's nerves on edge. Was that a ripple on the surface of the water? Maybe he should just move on.
Taking a last gulp of water, he sprang away from the water, running through the forest. Behind him he heard a splash, which caused him to look back. Unfortunately what he saw made him ready to void his bowels into his pants. There was a dripping wet blue man with a huge jagged-toothed grin looking right at him. If the red clouds on the black cloak were any indicator, he was a member of Akatsuki, and that meant trouble. Finally it occurred to him where he'd seen him before; he was the one that said he had two of everything.
Naruto in a well rehearsed motion summoned forth a swarm of clones, hiding himself in them as they all ran away. Splitting the mass of clones into two groups, he sighed slightly in relief as the shark man took off after the other group.
A few seconds later, a giant fireball blasted the entire group of clones, leaving Naruto alone cooked medium rare by the sudden flaming. There standing before him with the trademark Uchiha was Sasuke's older brother, Itachi. "You avoided me before Naruto, but not this time…"
Itachi activated his Sharingan and strode forward, his spinning red and black eyes locked on Naruto. Naruto knew better than to look him in the eyes, from reading about the Sharingan in his preparation to face down Sasuke and dragging him back. Instead, Naruto began backing away slowly. "Nice to see you again Itachi… I just ran past your friend… he's that way…" Naruto offered while hiking his thumb off in the direction of his other group of clones.
Itachi chuckled as he finally got within reaching distance of Naruto. "I see… well Naruto, it would seem that you lack… experience…"
Naruto decided that now would be a good time to run away, unfortunately he knew that the Sharingan would tell Itachi ever move he'd make before he even began to make them. And so it was with great futility that he summoned forth a swarm of orange, commonly known as Naruto's fall back jutsu Taju Kage Bunshin. While Itachi was forced to sift through all the various clones, Naruto decided it was time to make his own escape route. Pulling a clone off to the side, he began forming a Rasengan.
As Itachi finally reached him, the older ninja smirked evilly. "Prepare yourself Naruto, for seventy-two hours I will stab you with my kunai…" Itachi stated, while groping his crotch.
Naruto decided that the lack of weapons on Itachi would be a bad idea to point out right now. So instead he decided to play his parting shot as best he could. Hiding the Rasengan behind his back he backed away slowly. "Now Itachi, you really don't want to do this… you know that, right?"
Itachi surged forth, trying to force Naruto to meet his eyes; however the blond had closed his eyes at the last minute. When Itachi laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder, the younger ninja smirked and lashed out his Rasengan into Itachi's stomach. With a cry of "RASENGAN!" Naruto sent Itachi spinning into the forest, crashing through several trees on the way.
Instead of double-checking to make certain the Akatsuki was dead or alive, Naruto took off through the trees in a random direction. He had to keep moving, he doubted that Itachi would be down just by a simple Rasengan. Even if Itachi was down for the count, the other Akatsuki would be after him.
If he ever saw Jiraiya again, he would break more than just one arm on the jackass. Right now, his mind was going to ripping out his intestine by his dick, and strangling him with it.
Disturbing thoughts of revenge aside, he had to skid to a stop when he found an odd pink wrapped box six feet high, by ten wide, and he's guess about three deep. Right at his eye level, there was a card with his name on it.
Pulling on the ribbon, he instantly regretted it, as the box opened to reveal the pornoteers inside, in various poses that would have made Jiraiya blush. He didn't know why Sakura was behind Neji, thrusting her hip foreward, but he figured that it would be something for Icha Icha. The way Anko and Kurenai were between each other's legs was interesting, especially with how they were squirming and moaning softly. Sasuke was leaning back in front of Neji, whose face was dangerously close to his crotch. Meanwhile, the devil spawn from hell named Jiraiya, was watching them all writing in a notebook.
While Naruto was staring gob smacked at the cluster of people posing in suggestive positions, he felt an arm looping itself over his shoulder and whispering in his ear. "See Naruto? This is the fun that you could have... if you just give in."
"Bro's got a point dude... that could be fun!" the libido agreed with the voice. Looking to the right for a moment, he paled after locating who it was.
A crinkled eye smile later, Kakashi waved at Naruto with a chuckle. "Maa... Naruto, did you think that Captain Porno would just abandon you?"
"No... but I was hoping for it..." Naruto admitted with a groan. Really he had hoped to never see them again after the entire Jin incident. Edging away, he slipped Kakashi's arm off his shoulder. "I don't suppose you guys will just let me get away, will you?"
Kakashi gave Naruto an eye smile that he would have sworn was the second most evil thing he'd ever seen. The first being Kiyuubi himself. He could swear that all eyes were locked on him at that moment, and the voice of his libido seemed to speak for them. "Oh... HELL NO BOY! YOU GET IN THERE AND FUCK THEIR BRAINS OUT!"
"No Naruto, we're not here to... well not right now..." Kakashi explained as he waved towards the others who parted, a table appearing out of a scroll with a spread of food on it. "Let's have some dinner, ne?"
Naruto was forced into a seat at the head of the table, where he noticed that the food wasn't sitting on dishes on the table. Instead, Tsunade smiled down at him from the other end of the spread over her entire body. The location of a thick sausage between her legs, coming out of a pool of gravy in her crotch was definitely unique, but at least everything else was tastefully prepared to cover her properly.
"Dude! Eat some of those noodles on her breast first!" the libido shouted, forcing Naruto to look away with a blush, most of which was ruined when his eyes bugged a second later, seeing a dessert cart with Shizune and Tenten covered in a variety of treats and other desserts. "Okay... I stand corrected... dessert first?" the libido whimpered with want.
"So impatient Naruto..." Kakashi mumbled softly as he pushed Naruto's chin towards the other side of his chair, "Should start with the appetizers first, ne?" What met Naruto's eyes made the libido sing out in a heavenly choir while birds chirped in the background. For there was Ayame leaning back, a bowl of ramen casually resting in her lap, with naruto stars on her legs, and a layer of fish paste coated her breasts like a bikini.
Something inside Naruto died a little as he made his decision. All he needed now was the okay from Kami, and he'd surrender right here and now. He was teetering on the edge of surrender even without the okay. He clapped his hands together, in prayer to Kami.
The breaking point came in the form of Sakura whispering in his ear huskily. "Eat up Naruto-kuuun... you'll need your energy..."
With a shout of "ITADAKIMASU!!" Naruto dove towards Shizune with a passion.
Libido was doing a happy little dance with himself, shouting, "Yes! Yes! YES!"
