Sorry folks, busy night, might edit in responses to reviews later. Sorry all. But Congrats to Stephanie8D on being the 500th reviewer.
Icha Icha: Animal Magnetism
Chapter 32
Naruto walked away from the now neatly bound Jin casually. It had been the young man's idea to trick the others into thinking he'd lost badly by having him being found bound, while hanging from a branch. He'd had a lot of fun playing tag like the civilians did. True it wasn't like ninja tag he played with Konohamaru, but it was fun none the less. Now he just needed to keep on the move for another nine hours.
Wandering around the forest, he sighed he knew that his plans wasn't going to work, but he had to at least try and walk away. Unfortunately, he nearly walked into Hinata, who was wearing an odd facial mask which looked similar to those that the rain ninjas wore during the chuunin exams. Instead of jumping him or anything like that, she merely sat there on a log waiting for him. Patting her hand on the log next to her, she indicated for him to sit down, letting him choose whether to sit or not.
Naruto settled in to the seat that he'd been offered carefully, making sure to keep Hinata in sight at all times. He knew that the visual warning wouldn't be much, but it would still be better than nothing. Settling into the seat, he took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Hey Hinata... what's up?"
"I... I hhhad to s...see you again N...Naruto-kun..." Hinata's speaker distorted voice said while a blush formed on her cheeks. "Shino-kun a...and the Aburame clan have been trapped... I th...think I will be the next. I have come to warn you, the o...others are uniting to go after you. Be safe, I will try to remain out of the hunt as much as possible."
Naruto smiled warmly at Hinata for a moment before leaning over and kissing her forehead lightly. While the red creeped over the shy girl's entire face, he chuckled lightly and nodded. "I'll keep one step ahead of them as much as I can... Jin could probably use someone to let him go... Would you mind?"
"H...hai Naruto-kun..." Hinata answered before half-way skipping towards where the poor trapped Jinchuuriki was. Such a small thing, one kiss, but oh the world of difference it could make.
Naruto chuckled again lightly at the love struck girl, knowing that he had caused her brain to become to messed up stirred an odd feeling of joy deep inside his heart. Not that he'd ever admit it, especially within hearing distance of Hiashi, but Hinata was hot, and knowing he had her love meant a lot.
Turning on his radio again, he whispered into it gently. "Hey Bug-man, got your ears on?"
"Yes Naruto," Shino's voice spoke up as Naruto continued to move on his way through the forest. If he had to guess, he'd have said the usually stoic Shino was annoyed by something.
"I just talked to Hinata, most likely she'll be joining you guys soon..." Naruto continued pondering that annoyed tone in the usually stoic Shino. "What's up on your end?"
"Nothing Naruto..." Shino intoned, leaving silence fill the connection between the two of them, but he cut back in before Naruto could interrupt. "Did you have to kiss her?"
And like lightning from the sky if he was wearing a suit of iron and holding up a mile high pole, Naruto had a flash of insight into why Shino was annoyed. He was jealous! Smiling to himself, he held back a laugh at his friend, knowing that would make it worse. "I'm sorry Shino, but she looked like she needed it, you'll forgive me right?"
Shino's silence started to worry Naruto, who used the moment to look around and check for nearby chakra signals. Gulping the lump in his throat, he was about to apologize again, but Shino interrupted him before he could. "I expect that you will treat me equally next we meet. And you still owe me a date..."
Naruto's response was cut off sadly, when he walked face first into a low hanging branch. Spitting out leaf matter, he shook his head, trying to clear the stinging his nose was feeling. "I haven't forgotten Shino... don't worry, I promised. And you know I don't go back on my word."
"I know that Naruto..." Shino answered calmly, though Naruto swore there was just a hint of smugness there that Naruto wondered just how good his news network with his bugs was. Shaking his head, he laughed at himself, realizing just how foolish it looked what with the great and powerful Naruto Uzumaki being smacked in the face by a branch.
"Hey Bug-man..." Naruto asked after a few minutes of chuckling as an idea struck him. "Where'd Hinata get that face mask from?"
"Ino has been leading a resistance movement against those trying to hunt you down," Shino answered a moment later, his tone sounding pleased. "She has given one to Hinata, Chouji, Shikamaru, Anko, Gaara, a couple more of the Jinchuuriki, Shizune and Hokage-sama. Of these only Anko has continued their pursuit of you."
Naruto felt better during the first part, feeling that someone was looking out for his well being, and it increased with every person named, sadly however finding out about Anko still being out after him, he slumped, ready to give up all hope of making it out. "Uh... Anko is out there after me you say?" Naruto asked, barely dodging another tree branch to the face. "Did she give a reason? And why wasn't Ino hit by the pheromones like the rest?"
"Yes Naruto, and she said that she had a previous claim on you from before this began. Something about cheeks, and blood," Shino answered calmly, pausing a moment to gather his thoughts for the next questions. "Ino was suffering from a cold when this began, and was wearing a face mask to prevent spreading it. After finding out about your... affliction, she started the resistance to support you. Keeps muttering something about Sakura..."
"Ah, must be looking out for her friend then... I'll try to work with her if she wants to capture Sakura..." Naruto offered as he looked around nervously, feeling like he had just walked into the lair of a great beast. Maybe it was time to get off the radio headset. "Have her contact me if she wants to work together... I think I have to run now..."
"No you don't..." a familiar, pants wetting voice purred directly behind his left ear. "See... I've been waiting for you my dear..."
Naruto's first instinct, was probably what had saved him from the snake charmer, after all, screaming "BAD TOUCH NO MEANS NO!" while slamming his fist into the pedophile's face couldn't really be a bad idea, unless Orochimaru was into pain or something.
"Kukuku... playing hard to get, is that it Naruto-kun?" Orochimaru purred, licking the blood sliding down from his nose, all the way up to the base of said facial appendage. With a mental cry of eww, Naruto decided to do what any sane container of a nine-tailed fox demon in a world of ninjas would do. He summoned forth a swarm of clones that dog piled on the pedophilically inclined Sannin and took off like a bat out of hell with another swarm of clones masking the real one's location. If he was lucky, Orochimaru would only want the real one, and he wouldn't have to try and repress memories of Orochimaru's actions otherwise.
The next thing that Naruto saw was enough to turn his stomach inside out and yet... he found it oddly arousing, for there in the middle of a clearing was Sasuke dancing around wearing a dress, with what looked to be a training dummy dressed in Naruto's clothing. "Oh Naruto! My dear sweet Naruto! I knew the power of Emo would bring you back to me!"
Edging carefully away, afraid to even touch that with a ten mile long pole, Naruto decided that it might just be best to keep moving, lest the obviously insane Uchiha decide to come after him. Besides, he really didn't feel like disturbing Sasuke's 'me' time anyhow.
The sound of a twig snapping echoed through the suddenly still air. Looking down at his feet, he found that it hadn't been him, but who else could it have been? Looking around, he found one of his clones a few yards away sheepishly waving at Sasuke, who had his eyes locked on the waving clone. Deciding to not look a gift horse in the mouth, Naruto sprang away silently pleading with the clone to give him a few minutes.
Naruto made the best escape he could manage, springing through the trees, summoning clones at random, and sending them out in random directions. It wasn't the best idea he'd had, but it seemed to work regularly. After all, one person can only follow so many clones before they lose track of the original. Arriving in another clearing he felt his heart leap up into his throat, and the blood to flow out of the same region. For there, across the clearing was something that would scare most sane men in the world.
For there in the clearing in front of him was Anko locking eyes with him, over a air filter device, twirling a kunai around her forefinger, while Tenten sat at her feet, running a whetstone over the edge of another kunai, and Kurenai-sensei was kneeling next to Anko, licking her tongue lightly over the naked flesh of Anko's thighs. The part that scared Naruto the most, was that he was the only one wearing clothing in this clearing, and he had to admit that it was tempting to not remain that way.
Somewhere deep inside he heard the echoing cries of "OH FUCK YEAH!" that sounded eerily like his libido, but he was fairly certain that was his imagination. His mind was forcing itself to reboot, and because of that, he nearly missed Anko's walking towards him, Kurenai and Tenten crawling after her like pets. The sway of their bodies as they drew closer, was definitely distracting, however he could still register Anko's speaker-distorted words.
"Hello brat... you're looking overdressed..." Anko attempted to purr, but it was slightly diluted by the filters' speakers. But the effects were still working against Naruto's body. For despite everything he might say in denial of the fact, he was still a young, virile, and hormonal male. "Come join us..."
"Come join us..." Tenten and Kurenai mewled in pleading echoes. This served to further deny Naruto a reason to retreat from them. After all, they were hot, naked, beautiful, and wanting him to play with them. Somewhere deep in his brain, Naruto knew that giving in would be wrong, very wrong. But for the life of him, he couldn't figure out the why that would possibly be so.
Before Naruto could surrender to his basic mammalian instinct to mate like there was tomorrow; a weird swirl formed in the air in front of him, followed shortly by a black and red cloaked form with an orange swirl mask. "HI THERE! I'm sorry but Naruto's late for a party! I'll just take him!"
A nauseating moment later, Naruto found himself in a far more disturbing scene. For there, sitting at a table set for twelve, was all six forms of Pain, Konan, Deidara, Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, and Tobi. The most disturbing part of it all was the small fact that they were all completely naked, save for masks on Tobi and Kakashi. He found out many things in those few minutes, one Iruka-sensei had a bigger scar than he ever let on from the Mizuki incident, two there were more places to pierce on the human body than he had ever wanted to know, three Konan was had natural blue hair, and finally was number four, that Deidara's chest had a mouth that was currently sipping tea. Indeed, today was a day for learning a lot of new things.
And that was about the time his mind decided to reboot itself again. While he was out, it seemed that the Shinigami wasn't done jerking him around. Instead, he was pulled back into the land of the dead. This time however, the image that greeted his eyes would be forever scared into his memory.
Directly in front of him, was Old man Sarutobi, who seemed to be screwing some woman good and hard into the bed. A quick glimpse of the woman's face caused him to flashback to a picture that Sarutobi had shown him long ago. It was of his wife, shortly before she died. If he had to guess, he'd say that this woman was her... and he should leave now.
Unfortunately it was about this time that the Shinigami made his presence known to all. "AH NARUTO! HOW GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" the evil, evil, son of a bitch shouted, causing Sarutobi and his wife to whirl their heads around. A shuffle of blankets later, they were hidden, and Naruto begged that his eyes would not have that burned into their retinas forever more.
The next moment that Naruto saw anything, he was back at the tea party clearing, listening to a naked girl bellow down at the cowering group of ninjas. "AND THAT'S WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF YOU TOUCH MY DADDY AGAIN! GOT IT?!"
Suddenly, Naruto was very glad that he had blacked out for a while, because the little girl has managed to scare some of the toughest ninjas alive. But at least the smiling face of Miso filling his vision a few seconds later made him relax. He knew these two, and knew they'd keep him safe... as much as possible. And with that thought in mind, he sighed and allowed his body to relax, and just enjoy the moment. Seconds later, Kon was crushing his ribs, but at least it was a hug and not something else. Someone really needs to teach the girl to mind her own strength.
