Author Note: The end is here. I'm hoping this week will be a little quieter than usual, so hopefully I can have some emotional space to write more of Bartender. For now, this fic is complete. I hope you enjoy the last chapter.
She took the steps two at a time, bouncing down to the sidewalk where Maura waited beside her car. Jane tucked her hands into her pockets and glanced up at her, her lips pressed tightly together.
"Last session?" Maura asked, holding her arms out.
Jane strode forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Maura's back. "Last session. I didn't expect to see you. I thought you were picking me up from home."
"Nina mentioned you were going back to work tomorrow," Maura said, holding her at arm's length. She tucked a strand of Jane's hair behind her ear. "I couldn't wait to speak to you about it."
"Gotta go back eventually."
"Are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be." Jane tucked her hands back into her pockets and stared at Maura. When she caught her eye, she glanced away again. "I'm glad you came. You know, therapy's pretty draining."
"I know." Maura trailed her fingers along Jane's wrist. "I hope it was helpful."
"More than I expected." Jane stepped from one foot to the other. "The stuff about Ma, it's never gonna be okay. But I think I'm okay with that."
"You don't have to explain," Maura said, unlocking her car.
Jane opened the passenger door and climbed in beside her. She sighed. "I want to. You deserve to see how far I've come."
"I already know." Maura put the vehicle into drive and grasped the steering wheel. "You've always been stronger than you give yourself credit for. Once you get over the initial shock of the pain."
"I've not talked about Ma or Frankie in weeks," Jane said, her eyes fixed on Maura. A lump formed in the back of her throat, and her mouth was dry, but she persevered. "I've started working through that already."
"Oh." Maura glanced at her, then refocused on the road ahead. A silence followed. Jane's eyes not moving from Maura. "Do you wish to tell me what you have talked about?"
She sighed. The silence continued. She tried to swallow but her throat was too dry and her heart raced. She slid her hand across the space between them and rested it across Maura's thigh.
"Jane?"
"You." She gave her thigh a gentle squeeze and removed her hand. "Us. How I treated you."
"You already apologised about that when I last visited."
"Not apologies," Jane said. "How I feel. What I want."
"Which is?"
"You." Jane sighed again. She trailed her fingers across Maura's arm. "After everything we went through, you were worried it was just a reaction to my grief. Well, it's not. Not for me. I've realised that now."
"What do you mean, Jane?" Maura covered her hand, her lips curved at the edges. Her smile faltered, but she forced it back. A small crease formed between her eyebrows. "What are you saying?"
"My therapist made me do an exercise where I had to picture myself in ten years. Who was there, what we were doing, the usual bullshit."
Gripping the steering wheel tighter, Maura glanced briefly at Jane. "And?"
"All I could see was you, Maura." Jane cleared her throat. "I don't want you to think that means I want everything right now."
"What do you want?"
"A date."
"A date?" Pulling up at a red light, Maura pressed down on the break and turned to face Jane. "You wish to go out on a date?"
"You, me, somewhere nice, not fancy."
"We did that last time I was back in Boston," Maura said, her lips curved upwards.
"That was different." Jane's tongue involuntarily ran across her bottom lip. "Maura, how I treated you wasn't okay. I fucked up by fucking you."
"Do you have to use that language?" A horn pipped behind them. Maura glanced at the now green light, then into her mirrors and set off. "You know I don't like the vulgarity."
"That's what it was Maura, it was vulgar, it was horrible. I treated you horribly. I used you for something I needed, and I didn't think about how it would affect you, or our relationship. I let you down."
"You were grieving."
Jane shook her head. "That's no excuse. I don't want that anymore. Ever again. I want to show you that you mean something to me, that we can be something more than what we were before. That's what you wanted. You couldn't carry on as it was, but I wasn't able to give you what you deserved. Now I am. I don't want to push it, I don't want to jump back into bed with you like the last four months didn't happen. I want you and me to go out, to spend some time together, to get to know each other again."
"Okay."
Her eyebrows knitted together. Jane stared at Maura, cautiously analysing her facial expressions. "That's it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Okay is all you've got to say?"
Maura smiled and reached her hand across the middle of the car. She trailed her hand across Jane's wrist, her hand tucked between her knees. "I wasn't expecting you to have become so enlightened by your experience of therapy. I thought we knew each other, now I wonder if there are things I need to learn. If you're ready to try, then so am I."
"Great." Jane turned her hand around and interlinked her fingers with Maura's. "Thank you."
x
The entrance of the state house was full of people; spectators, journalists, and uniformed police officers alike. Jane climbed out of Maura's car and buttoned up her uniform jacket. She ran her hands down the lapel and breathed deeply.
"It's going to be okay," Maura said, tucking her hand into Jane's. "You'll do brilliantly."
Jane forged a smile. Her heart raced inside of her chest, faster than she anticipated. She squeezed Maura's hand tightly and nodded her head.
"Good afternoon, Detective."
Twisting round quickly, Jane's eyes landed on Korsak's and her heart ached harder. She stared into his warm eyes, warmer than the last time she'd seen him. She opened her mouth to speak, but his outstretched arms were all she needed.
"I missed you," she whispered, stepping into his arms and holding him close. In the distance, she saw Maura walking across the room. "I'm so sorry."
"I know." He ran his hand across her back and gave her a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come back to you."
Jane stepped back, her eyes fixed on Korsak's. "Vince. You lost your wife. I'm surprised you didn't hate me forever."
"I didn't hate you," he said, cupping her hand between his. "I could never hate you. The grief was too big and you were too connected to it all. The loss of your beautiful mother, what happened to Frankie, Kiki and I had barely been together, how could my grief compare?"
"Don't say that." She brushed her fingers across her cheek. "Don't you ever say that. It doesn't matter how long you know someone. It's my fault it happened to begin with."
"It wasn't."
"Not intentionally," Jane gave her nose a rub. "But if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have done what she did and we wouldn't have lost the people we love. I didn't pull the trigger. I didn't ask her to do it. But there is blame, and no amount of therapy will stop me from feeling it."
Korsak shook his head and brushed fresh tears from her cheek. "I wish you wouldn't."
"I know."
A hand landed on her shoulder. Jane turned. Maura's smiling face stared back at her, her fingers trailed across her shoulder.
"They're ready, we have to go inside now."
With Maura's hand interlinking her own on one side, and Korsak linking her arm on the other, the three of them walked into the room. They moved slowly down the aisle, between groups of people, uniformed officers, and the flash of cameras.
"The front row is reserved for us," Maura said, letting go of her hand and guiding them down the row.
Jane sat down. The rows of people behind them felt intimidating and a little overwhelming. She closed her eyes and squeezed Maura's hand.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," a woman said, her voice booming through the speakers from the centre of the small stage. "Please welcome the Mayor of Boston."
The Mayor walked across the stage, her smile wide and her walk slow. She took the woman's place behind the podium and stared across the room. Jane sat up straighter, her heart thumping against her rib cage.
"Thank you all for coming on this very special, and somewhat sorrow filled day. We are here to honour several offices of the law for acts of bravery. But our highest accolade is for one of our police detectives who, as you will be aware, was sadly hospitalised eight months ago. Detective Francesco Rizzoli was at a friend's wedding when an active shooter fired shots. The incident cost recently retired Sergeant Korsak the life of his wife, as well as civilian Angela Rizzoli, mother of Francesco and his sister, Detective Jane Rizzoli. Once the shots had been fired, without thinking about his own safety, Detective Rizzoli gave chase and apprehended the attacker. He ensured that the woman who attacked his friends and family could hurt no one else. Sadly, he sustained gunshot wounds that cost him the life he once led."
The room was silent. Jane choked as tears built in the back of her throat, and she realised she'd barely breathed since the Mayor had begun speaking. Maura wrapped her hand around hers and held it tightly.
"Detective Francesco Rizzoli is a hero of Boston, and though he can't be here today as he's receiving round the clock care in a medical facility. I would like to introduce his sister, Detective Jane Rizzoli, to accept this medal of honour on his behalf."
She stood. All air escaped her chest. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing long enough to fill her chest and take the steps forward towards the podium. On the stage, her hands shook uncontrollably and she clung to the wooden podium for support. She stared out across the faces staring back at her. Men, women, children. People she knew. People she didn't know. Journalists. Police officers, detectives. Her eyes landed on Nina's a couple of rows back.
"Thank you all for coming," Jane said. She cleared her throat. The threat of tears was higher than she'd anticipated. "My brother was an exceptional man. We fought, like most siblings do. We acted like we didn't care, but deep down we loved each other as fiercely as only family can. Frankie loved his family. He loved our mother, and he acted because he knew that she had been injured on that night. But mostly he acted because he made it his life's work to protect this city from people who seek to cause us harm."
She paused. Fresh tears built in her eyes. Her heart ached and the words flooded her mind, disappearing into a sea of confusion and sorrow. She stared at Nina in the third row.
"I'm sorry." She kept her eyes fixed on Nina. "I shouldn't be here alone. Nina, come up here."
She stared at Jane, her eyebrows tugged together. A wave of her hand prompted her onward. She stood and side stepped her way down the row and up the aisle. She stopped a few feet away from Jane.
"This woman," Jane stepped to one side and pulled her in closer. "This woman loved him, she stood by him in the hospital, and she stepped up when I…when I was too heartbroken to do so myself. They asked me to do this because he was my brother, but she should be here too. She's family."
Nina's smile grew wider. Jane grasped her hand and held it tightly. "My brother was a brave man."
"Maybe not as brave as you," Nina said. The audience laughed and Jane felt her cheeks redden. She stayed silent as Nina opened her mouth again. "Frankie loved his sister. So much so that he followed in her footsteps by becoming a cop. He looked up to her. She's the reason he became a brave, kind detective who wanted to look after the people of Boston. His family made him the person he became."
Brushing fresh tears from her chin, Jane tried to reclaim her composure. "Thank you all for coming. I know Frankie would have appreciated this award, and your presence here today."
Jane nodded her head and stepped out from behind the podium. She linked her arm with Nina's and the room erupted into applause.
x
The Dirty Robber was abuzz with police officers of every distinction, many dressed in their most formal attire, whilst others were in their everyday uniforms. Maura carried a tray of drinks to the booth where Korsak, Nina and Jane were sat.
"I told you I could get them," Korsak said.
"Today is a day for the detectives of Boston," she said, rubbing his arm. "I hope you've had chance to catch up further."
"I hope you at least told them to put it on my tab."
"Of course," Maura said, smirking. "What's the point of knowing the owner if you can't get free drinks?"
"That-a girl!"
She placed four scotch glasses on the table, three bottles of beer and a glass of Pinot Grigio. Picking up her scotch, she slid into the booth beside Jane and lifted her glass. The others picked theirs up and they silently clinked them together.
Under the table, Maura gripped Jane's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Across the table, Korsak and Nina were deep in conversation.
"Thank you," Jane said, leaning in close to Maura. "You gave me my life back when I thought it would never happen."
"I didn't do much," Maura said.
"You did more than you'll ever know." Jane stared down at her lips, the desire to kiss her was high, but she resisted the urge. "I've been keeping something from you."
"Is everything okay?" Maura's eyes grew wide.
"It's fine," Jane said, her mouth grew wide. "It's more than okay. A few weeks ago I took the sergeants exam. Cavanaugh told me after the ceremony that I passed, and then he offered me Korsak's job when I go back."
Sitting up taller, Maura leaned in, her mouth agape. "Oh, Jane, that is wonderful news. Congratulations."
She leaned in further, pulling Jane into her arms. Jane settled into her embrace and ran a hand across the back of her head. She breathed slowly, deeply, savouring the moment. When she pulled away again, she trailed her fingertip across Maura's cheek.
"I know I said about a date," Jane said, resting her forehead against Maura's. She ran her finger across her lips. "But did I tell you how beautiful you look today?"
"Jane!" Maura said, her smile reached her eyes.
"I know, I know," Jane said, smirking. She shrugged her shoulders and sat back. Maura sipped her drink beside her. She would wait until their date. She would wait for a year, two years, six years, if it meant she could spend the rest of her life with her.
She leaned her head against her shoulder and ran her hand across Maura's knee. Maura lifted her mouth to her ear, her breath hot against her skin. "Maybe we can bypass the date. I'd forgotten how stunning you looked in your uniform."
She raised her eyebrows and smirked. Jane's breathing grew more laboured, but she stayed where she was and focused on the conversation passing between Korsak and Nina. Now they would talk with their friends, and celebrate Frankie's bravery award. Later, they would take the first step forward in their journey together.
The End
