4
Alice was ruthless.
She had dragged me out of my perfect moment with Edward and I was not happy about it. I should have know better than to think that I could get away with making out with Edward like that and still think that I would not have to talk about it.
The fact was that I really didn't want to tell her. The moment we had was so intimate and private in that it felt like we were entwined in more ways than just our bodies.
Yes ill be the first to admit that what had just happened had no real explanation, it all happened so fast, yes I was thinking about him constantly but I had only moved here, what 10 days ago? Not even? We were going too fast and I knew it. Meaning that things had to slow down, and now.
In all my torture I did give into Alice and tell her what happened, but I assure that it was not willingly. I am not sure how Edward is going to react though on just how much info that I had given his sister. Im sure he knew her well, but that did not mean that he would be happy about it.
Alice did set me free after the discussion that we had and I ran.
I ran out the back door and out the back gate, I was going to go further but I didn't need to. I knew that I was not being followed. I also knew that there was someone out there looking for me and I was not going to go out into the middle of the forest at night time, into god knows what.
I sat there thinking about what had just happened, Edward and I had known each other for a total of 10 days and I am no fool even if I was new to this sort of thing, this was definitely too fast, I am no slut, nor do I want to be, so I am going to slow it down. Everything down.
I walked back inside after a good 15 minutes and I headed upstairs to my bedroom hoping to find Edward there.
He was indeed in there, but I was in a different state to him, he seemed eager for more which didn't surprise me, he was a boy, and whether this is Edward the different from any other guy that I had met or Edward the typical guy I didn't know, but I did know that his intentions were clear.
He dove in for a kiss, obviously not opposed to the idea of starting where we left off.
I on the other hand did mind and I pulled away and looked at him getting ready to say what I knew was 100% necessary.
"Edward don't… please we need to talk about this." I said pulling away again as he tried again.
"What!" he said as he stopped himself.
I could tell that slight outburst was just a reaction to what I had said and that it was not thought over, it was just a 2 second reaction that was not thought about. And I was correct, after he thought about it her calmed down and gestured for me to sit on the bed next to him.
"Edward… I think that this is moving just a little too fast. I think that we really need to slow down, I mean we have only known each other for what? Ten days? I already feel like I belong and I know that people have accepted me into their families so quickly and that is great, but quickly isn't always better and this is one of those cases." I saw him listening to me and I knew that depending on how many of those words he actually meant before that he would be good and wait.
"I think that maybe the way we were going was good, but lets just add in a few moments that I have you all to myself, but I need you to understand that this will not be permanent, I just think that this is not the best time for something serious." I had finished and I was looking at him waiting for a reaction.
"it's okay Bella, I understand. We were both so upset and lonely that I think that maybe we had just jumped on the feeling that we had, they were magnified with the sadness and shock we were all in, I understand and completely agree. Slower is better. Especially now." he looked at the wall as he said this, and I knew that it was taking a lot to say and that he was not completely agreeing with his words. But he was also saying in to please me and that was clear as well.
He let go of my hands and walked out the door. I thought that maybe he was going to go downstairs to talk to Emmett and play the play station or something, but when I heard the front door slam I knew that what had just happened had deeply upset him.
Monday was here and I was severely worried about Edward. He had not come over on Saturday or Sunday, and it was very weird that he wasn't here for such a consecutive amount of time. Both Charlie and Emmett agreed that this was odd, but left it at that.
I was a little worried though, it appears that I had actually really hurt him.
I was driving my way to school to find that he was there but when I went up to him, he just looked at me coming and walked in the other direction.
The next couple of weeks continued on the same path. He actually seemed to hate me now. I had no idea that it would have had such a big impact on him. I had given him a note through Alice who was fortunately still talking to me. It said:
Edward,
I am really sorry that I hurt you so bad, and I just want to say that if I have to choice between no relationship with you at all or a serious one then maybe serious is the was too go. I cant bear to loose you. I need you in my time of need. That being now.
You said that you would always be here for me in everyway possible, well I am summoning you, I need you, in any and every way that you will let me have you.
Please… I NEED you
Bella. Xxx
I snuck up to peer around the corner that had a view of Alice approaching him with the letter. I was just in time.
He opened the envelope and read it, he was growing more annoyed by the second and when he finished he yelled something at Alice and ripped up the letter throwing it in the bin in the process. I now knew that he hated me.
