Hey guys.

I edited the first chapter and changed a few things, so you might want to reread it. Or you can wait till I edit the other chapters, which I will most likely do before I update chapter 9.

This chapter was a little hard to write but I hope that I managed to display all the changes that the siblings are going through.

Rating for this chapter: T

Summary: Death gained a whole new appeal the moment I became a daughter of Hades. Self-Insert

Have fun.


Chapter 8

The Darkness Within


"Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."
― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein


In the time span of twenty-seven years I lost two mothers. One because of my own stupidity, the other because of my mere existence and forgetfulness. It would be a lie if I told you that it was easier the second time around, it wasn't. Actually, it might have been even harder.

When I died as Nadia Nowikow, I died knowing that my parents were still alive and somewhat happy. I knew that I would never see them again, just as I knew that they still had a bright future before them.

I died and my parents lived. It's what made all the difference.

It wasn't hard for me to admit that I blamed myself for Maria's death. If I had remembered, she would have survived that day, she wouldn't have had to pay the price for being our mother. The mother of three children of Hades.

What made all this even worse was that I didn't have just her death on my consciousness. No, because of my inability father retaliated in the worst way possible. To take revenge on his brother he influenced one of my siblings to start the Attack on Pearl Harbor.

Yet I knew that I should have felt a lot of more guilt.

I was ashamed. Somewhere in the darkest pits of my soul I was glad. Glad that Maria was avenged and that her death hadn't been written off as nothing. She was our mother, royalty among mortals. Zeus deserved all that father threw at him. He deserved to watch his children die, just like he wanted our father to watch us die.

I had never felt such an intense hate for anyone before. I could only hope that this hate would dim before I did something really stupid and got myself blown into pieces.

I should have been concerned about my own morality and how my siblings didn't seem to care about the deaths our father caused. They were more than aware of what all of it meant, I knew that. I remembered the day the two sons of Zeus entered the Underworld. We could feel it. It was as if someone was intruding on our territory. Instead of ignoring it or showing some kind of unease, my siblings felt rather gleeful.

This wasn't normal. We weren't normal. I couldn't care less.

Did that make me into a monster? Probably.

''Nora.'' I turned my head in Bianca's direction. There was a slight frown on her face, she must have been calling out to me for some time now. ''One of the servants brought dinner for us. You should eat something.''

There was a table in the corner of father's chambers, prepared specifically for us so that we wouldn't have to leave the room to eat. One of the servants had already laid out our food upon it. An assortment of our favorite dishes, including the desserts mother normally did not allow us to have.

I shook my head slightly. "I am not hungry."

"Liar." She pursed her lips in disapproval. "You are. I can feel it."

My gaze moved over her small frame. Not for the first time that week did I notice how pale she was. Her normally chocolate brown eyes had changed into two black abysses with dark shadows underneath them. She looked mad, the way most people imagined how children of Hades were meant to be.

I did not doubt that I looked just as bad as she did. "If it makes you happy."

The steps I took were small and deliberate. I did not think that I could stomach anything, yet my grumbling belly disproved that thought.

Nico pushed a full plate in front of me the moment I sat down on my chair. He had mostly put sweets and fruits on it, that's how well he knew me. ''You should try the cake, it is delicious.''

Of course it was delicious. All the food served for us in the underworld had small amounts of nectar or ambrosia mixed into it. If I had to guess their purpose I would say that the small amounts of nectar and ambrosia in our food were meant to help us built a higher tolerance for the godly food. Besides, such concoctions couldn't be anything but delicious. ''I will.''

The cake really was one of the best I had ever eaten. Chocolate and strawberry, my favorite.

''You see, I told you so.'' Nico muttered the exact moment that satisfaction started to course through my body. He looked relieved and that made me feel guilty.

Sometimes it was really hard for us to differentiate between whose emotions we were experiencing. Were they our own or from someone else? For some time now Nico must have been experiencing my hunger and no matter how hard he tried-all those dirty plates in front of him proved that he tried pretty hard-, he just couldn't satiate it.

''Sorry.'' I mumbled between two mouthfuls of cake.

He didn't say anything, no answer to my apology. Nico's newly acquired silence unnerved me beyond believe. He shouldn't be like this. Nico di Angelo was just a child that did not deserve all the things the Fates would soon throw upon him.

''Papa should be back soon. You should lighten up a bit, both of you.'' Bianca sat down on her chair and chewed on a piece of candy that she picked up from one of the plates. ''You know what happens when he worries about us.''

I winced at the thought of all the people that died at our father's hand, be it directly or indirectly.

Nico took a gulp of his drink. " Why should I care?"

Bianca's head snapped in his direction and my eyes widened. What did he say? ''What?''

''Why should I care?'' He rolled his eyes in annoyance, as if he couldn't believe what we were asking.

My mouth went dry, so I drunk a little from my cup. "Nico, those people are innocent. They do not deserve that."

"Mamma was innocent as well." He snorted loudly. " And even though she was innocent she still had to die."

I didn't know how to answer that. He rendered me speechless.

"Mamma wouldn't have wanted this." I'm sure that Bianca's words didn't even sound convincing to herself.

Nico shook his head and laughed. It sounded hollow to my ears, without any ounce of humor. "Mamma is not here, she is gone. Dead."

I looked down at the table, incapable of regarding my own twin anymore. This was wrong, so very wrong.

"I do not understand why you care so much, Nora. We do not know them, they mean nothing to us. Besides, it's not as if death was such a bad thing."

Silence reigned the room. My gaze moved towards Bianca, who was suspiciously avoiding my gaze. "You cannot share his opinion, Bianca?"

Her eyes did not meet mine. "Someone has to pay for what happened to mamma. Our uncle's children are the perfect targets." A frown marred her face. "The others are just casualties."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But through our bond I could feel the sincerity with which they were speaking. It scared me.

"I have lost my appetite.'' My chair screeched loudly across the floor as I stood up and started to make my way towards the bed.

I turned my head in their direction. Identical eyes met. Nico's voice was almost cruel as he spoke up. Where had my brother gone? "You are a good liar, Nora. And even though you might be capable of lying to yourself, you cannot fool us.'' For a second I froze in place, a sense of unease filling my chest. ''Bianca and I, we aren't the only ones who felt pleased when those sons of Zeus died. We aren't the only ones who relished it. You did as well."

I couldn't deny it.


Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder.

Wonder about what the Fates planned for his future. Wonder how he could have let it come so far.

He should have ended it before it even started. The weakness they represented could one day be his downfall.

Hades should have never become so attached to his children in the first place. And as the attachment slowly turned into love and that love bled into obsession, he knew that the day would come where he would let hell reign on earth to protect his three little children. Their lives were worth more than those of anyone else.

He would protect them no matter what, yet he wasn't foolish enough to believe that he could protect them from everything. Especially now that he suspected the Fates' direct interference.

The god worried for his children. And how strange that sounded. The Lord of the Underworld worried about three mere mortals.

But were they truly just three mere mortals?

The answer was easy. No, they weren't. They were his children, the only ones he had ever come to love.

The love of a god. It was a rare gift and even more of a curse. In this world of deities and monsters there was nothing as dangerous as the love of a god.

More often than not it was fatal for mortals. But his children weren't fully mortal, were they? Would that change the outcome of the tragedy the Fates had chosen to weave? Did the Fates truly plan something for his children or was it just his paranoia speaking?

They had to be. Considering the circumstances that lead to all of his problems, the three sister just had to be involved.

Through the millennia many souls managed to escape the Underwold, but never like this. Never did a soul manage escape the judges and skip immediately towards the reincarnation cycle without even bathing in the river Lethe beforehand.

He send some of his best subjects after that soul, yet none managed to find it.

Until Hades came upon the soul himself. Reborn as his youngest daughter.

That shouldn't have mattered. He should have ripped the soul out of that tiny body and dragged it back into his domain.

He didn't.

That day, when he met his two youngest children for the first time and saw three pairs of dark eyes gaze upon him with curiosity, he just couldn't bring himself to harm the child. She was his daughter, nothing else mattered. Especially when he realized that harming her could very well mean the end of his other two children.

Even an idiot wouldn't have been able to overlook the strong bond they shared. What surprised him about their connection was that it reached out to him the second he appeared in that small room in Venice. Their own power, the one they inherited from him, tried to twine itself with his own.

Not many ever managed to surprise him. None lived to do it more than once.

His children were the exceptions.

And as he constantly made sure that his children were safe, brushed his aura against theirs and felt their deep sadness at their mother's death, Hades could only wonder about what the future would bring for them.