Important!
As some of you might have noticed, I've started editing some of my stories once again. Correcting some of the worst mistakes in this story has become my newest goal, so it might be some time until I update it once again.
I only hope that once I'm finished, 'The Travelers Future' will be better than it is now.
nariai
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Summary: Death gained a whole new appeal the moment I became a daughter of Hades. [SI, Self-Insert/OC-Insert]
Enjoy.
Chapter 16
Worst In Me
"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
― Mark Twain
"I'm not afraid of the darkness outside. It's the darkness inside houses I don't like."
― Shelagh Delaney
Staring at death for a second time in my existence and knowing what would happen when it finally managed to get me only heightened the horror I felt at the prospect of losing my life once again. There was the panic, of course. It was unavoidable and all-encompassing. Then there was also the familiar fear. I had already died once and I certainly wasn't ready to experience the whole reincarnation thing for a second time.
Those two emotions were accompanied by an unreasonable anger. Because how dare such a lowly creature even think about destroying me, a Daughter of Hades.
I was a princess of the Underworld. A mere cyclops could not represent my demise.
Rarely, had I ever felt such contempt and superiority towards another being and I couldn't quite tell where those emotions were coming from.
But I did not have much time to analyze any of it. As I watched that fist moving in my direction—It would crush me, break me and leave nothing behind.—a numb resignation took over my entire being and allowed my trembling arm to lower itself.
This wasn't the first time I would die and considering the fact that I seemed to be one of the Fate's favorite toys, it probably wouldn't be the last time either.
At least my siblings were safe.
The irony of the situation did not manage to escape my noticed. I, a daughter of the one of the Big Three, was about to fall in a fight against a horde of monsters while protecting those I cared about the most in the world. Just a few meters away from me were the camp borders and what I guessed to be Thalia Grace's pine tree. The truth was that I could only hope that father would not come up with an equally stupid idea as turning me into a tree.
Although I did not wish to die, being a tree still wasn't a part of my To-Do-List.
In contrary to the popular believe, my whole life did not flash before my eyes as I stood there waiting for my demise. The fist did not move in slow-motion and neither did I feel a sudden surge of power that would save me.
I just stood there, thousands of thoughts racing through my head and Bianca's cries reaching my ears. A grudging acceptance filled me and I knew that there was nothing I could do.
I was going to die again.
Closing my eyes tightly in preparation, I exhaled what I thought to be my last breath. My whole body trembled in trepidation as waited for the end.
I waited and waited for something that never came.
A familiar warmth surrounded me as a strong arm circled my waist. There was no word that could properly describe the relief I felt that very moment. Dark eyes snapped open and my body slumped against Father's chest.
The cyclops was gone, only a few left-over particles dancing in the air. One after another the remaining monsters vanished and soon only the two of us were left standing. Slowly, my gaze moved to the right and I saw an expected and yet surprising sight.
At the borders dozens of campers were gathered, all of them bowing deeply at the sight of my father. None of them even dared to raise their heads, their postures showed complete submission.
''You're safe.'' His deep voice whispered into my ear and I realized how fast my heart was still beating. I took a calming breath and looked away from the relieved faces of my siblings to my father.
He was regarding me calmly, his gaze racking over my body to make sure that I wasn't severely injured. It quickly moved to my leg, tacking in the deep cut and tilting his head slightly to the left.
My chest felt heavy, as if something was weighting down on it. Father tenderly put an arm under my shoulder blades and knees, carefully avoiding my injury. Without a problem, he picked me up and turned towards the camp.
Leaning my head against his shoulder, I tried and failed to breathe in deeply. I clenched my fists tightly as Father stopped moving directly before the camp's borders. He regarded the invisible line with his dark eyes and I could feel his distaste.
The gods weren't just allowed to enter Camp Half-Blood. They needed a probable reason and my father did not have one. Truthfully, as our godly parent he wasn't even allowed to save me in the first place. Out of his brothers, Hades was the most honorable one. That was the reason why, unlike both of his younger brothers, he did not sire a child after the pact had been made. Although Father was a god, I liked to think that he took his duty seriously and executed his reign in the Underworld as fairly as possible.
But that did not change the fact that he was indeed a god and as such he did indulge in his selfishness.
From what I knew, there was probably some barrier around the camp, but it did not show any resistance when Father stepped over it. I doubted it could have stopped him anyway.
There was a clatter of hooves as a centaur came up to us. His face familiar and lowered to show respect.
Chiron
''Welcome to Camp Half-Blood...'' The centaur bowed deeply. ''...Lord Hades.''
Nodding his head in acknowledgment, Father quickly moved past the man and towards my siblings. Something ugly reared its head inside of me when I saw Nico's pale and clammy face. I could feel his lightheadedness, his bloodied bandages being the reason for it.
He had lost so much blood.
Relief lightened his face, though his lips turned into a sneer when his eyes landed on my wounded leg. Anger—at the monsters, me and himself—drowned out everything else he felt and I realized that he wasn't the only one being filled by such an overpowering rage. Although I did not want it to happen, I could do nothing as his anger fueled the flames inside my own chest.
Father lowered me onto the ground and Bianca quickly moved to my side. ''Papa.''
Her gratefulness was visible in her whole demeanor, but her face also betrayed the exertion of trying to push our emotions away from her own.
Father's lips tilted slightly upwards and he reached inside his pocket. A small pouch was taken out of it and after opening it, he handed a few pieces of ambrosia to me. ''Eat.''
A command.
My lips turned down and I took the offered food with a trembling hand. I watched, silently seething, how he turned to Nico and examined him almost clinically. Then he reached inside the pouch once again and gave my brother almost twice as much ambrosia as he had given me. Before his attention moved to Bianca, Father made sure that Nico had eaten all of his offerings and even lifted some of the bandages to see if the wound was healing.
A little late to start worrying about us, huh?
Narrowing my eyes, I knew that there was something wrong. Never before had I experienced such a raw anger. It was mixing with Nico's own emotions and no amount of calm Bianca tried to push into us could stop our rising rage.
Normally, I could have stopped this. A long time had passed since I had last been unable to differentiate between my emotions and those of my siblings, but I just couldn't concentrate. The shrieks of the dead echoed in my ears and my skin still prickled from the use of so much power. Low murmurs seemed to come from the shadows and no matter how much I tried I just couldn't push them away.
Now, that I had let the darkness escape its prison, it wouldn't just go back inside.
Why didn't he interfere earlier?
''Thank you, papa.'' Bianca said after she swallowed a piece of ambrosia. Her brows were furrowed slightly in concentration and I felt another wave of calm hit me, but the anger did not subside.
''Keep the pouch, you might need it in the future.'' Squeezing my sister's hand, Father turned his body to us. ''I'm sure you have many questions, however, now is not the time to ask them.''
Opening her mouth, Bianca blinked in confusion. ''What? But...''
''You will be staying here for a while. Until the right time comes, you are not allowed to leave.'' Father's tone left no place for arguments and had we been any other mortal, then perhaps we would have listened to the instinct that screamed at us to obey. But we weren't, thus we questioned Hades' decisions.
At least, Bianca did it in a respectful and gentle manner, her voice soft and polite. ''We've been trapped inside that hotel for decades, papa, and now you want to imprison us again?''
Lightning flashed across the sky and highlighted our father's features eerily. Zeus wasn't happy with the current happenings and he wasn't afraid to show his displeasure. Ignoring the darkening sky, father clearly showed how little he cared about his brother's opinions.
The people surrounding us did not share his view.
Some gasped when they heard Bianca talking back to our father, most observed the proceedings warily, especially the dark clouds above our heads.
''This is not a prison, Bianca.'' Gently, he pushed a lock of my sister's hair behind her ear. ''This is for your protection.''
Protection? What protection? Home, that's where we would be the safest and whatever he might have claimed, this certainly wasn't for protection.
An unladylike snort passed my lips and they turned into a sneer. ''Protection? Please, at least have the decency not to lie to us. You come here after decades and...'' Bianca grabbed my right arm tightly and tried to pacify me. Though her rising panic made the attempt futile, it still managed to stop me from saying something stupid for the moment. ''Why? Why have you come now?'' I hissed.
Why have you only come after the three of us have almost died? After I crossed a point I can't come back from anymore?
''You're angry.'' An obvious statement that only served to fuel my negative emotions. Even the normally so comforting hand on my arm did not manage to calm me down. Once again I noticed how unusual this situation was and wondered if it truly had something to do with our heritage.
What was happening to me?
The earth shook because of my anger, stopping almost as soon as it had begun. While we had some control over it, Father was its ultimate ruler. ''You claim that this is for our protection. But the truth is that you are putting us from one golden-gilded cage to another, as if we were some priced possessions of yours.'' I paused, breathing heavily. There was a warning in Father's eyes, but I was too far gone to heed it. ''Fuck you.''
Silence. No one said anything. Percy Jackson winced noticeably as he stared at me with shocked eyes.
Dangerously dark orbs met my own and suddenly I couldn't breathe. Fear threatened to choke me and an unsettling coldness took hold of my entire body. The screams were louder than ever before and for a moment I actually wished that the cyclops' fist had hit me.
Three things happened at the same time; I flinched and tried to scramble backwards, Nico put his hand over the one father had situated on my arm and whispered something I could not decipher, Father immediately reined in his power and something akin to regret shone in his mad eyes.
It had been about sixty years since he last had to control his power around us, so I did not truly blame him for what had happened. Especially because I did defy him and it helped clear my head.
Still, it did not stop me from feeling the instinctual fear every mortal felt while facing an angry god.
''Nora.'' A hand gently caressed my cheek. ''You will obey me.''
It was the same thing he had once said to my sister and just like her I could not oppose such a direct order. My fists clenched and then relaxed at my sides and I lowered my head slightly. ''Sì, papa.''
Switching to Italian was something we all did reflexively or subconsciously if the situation asked for it. Right now I felt as if I was still a nine years old and currently being chastened by Father for wandering off on my own. Though the current situation was worse because fear actually started coursing through my veins when I was forced to face a slightly too large amount of my father's power. I could not help but wonder how bad it must have been for the others when I myself felt so overwhelmed and horrified.
Father leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. Then his attention left me and my whole body slumped slightly. He bid my siblings farewell in the same manner and ordered Bianca to take care of us.
Not for the first time in this I life I registered how lucky I actually was. Had I been any other mortal, then I would have been already dead and on my way to the Fields of Punishment. As it was, I was only reprimanded and left alone afterwards.
A part of me, the mortal one that was still largely Nadia, had and would always fear what my father represented.
Death. Pain. Reincarnation. The existence of higher beings.
It did not matter how angry I might have been at the moment or how scared I had felt while facing his anger, nothing could ever change the fact that I loved my father and respected him more than any other being.
Thus I felt shame welling up inside me as I watched him leave. He stood up and turned his back to us, uttering his last command inside the camp. ''You will keep them safe, Chiron.''
Sweat trickled down Chiron's face as he nodded his head vehemently. ''Of course, Lord Hades, there is no safer place for them than Camp Half-Blood.''
Letting his gaze wander around our surroundings one last time, Father gathered the shadows around his form. He was gone before anyone could have tried saying anything else.
