Chatty Chatot
By Nidonemo
One starry evening, Gail found herself walking down the street in Jubilife City, passing by the huge outdoor screen of the TV Station. She stopped and looked up at it, always amazed at its gargantuan size and the quality of the picture dancing across the screen.
Suddenly a familiar voice snapped her out of her daydream and brought her back to reality. Her friend Zach was running down the street towards her, a bird Pokemon on his arm and a delighted look on his face.
"Hey Gail! Gail! Check this out! I taught my Chatot how to speak English!" he said as he tried to catch his breath.
"Oh wow really? That's amazing! What words can he say?" Gail answered, excitedly clapping her hands and looking endearingly at the bright colored bird.
"Okay now this is the fun part. Say 'Hello Fergie, tell me what you learned today!' and he'll tell you!" Zach explained, excitedly.
Gail nodded and looked at the Chatot on Zach's shoulder.
"Hello Fergie, tell me what you learned today!" she asked smiling.
The Chatot puffed up his chest and opened its beak.
"Fuck you! In the ass! Dildo face! Dildo face! Your mother's a whore! Your mother's a whore! Totot." Fergie squawked.
Gail's mouth dropped and she went pale as Zach burst out laughing. She slowly stared at him, shaking her head in utter dismay.
"You didn't...you didn't..." she groaned.
"I did!" he said, giggling.
"What if you face off with some little kid and he blurts all that out!?" Gail said, closing in to wring Zach's neck.
"Don't worry, I asked about three different trainers about Chatots, they all said in about a day he'll forget everything nasty and remember only the positive words. They even showed me theirs and they all said the most delightful things you could ever hear." he explained, stroking Fergie's head with a finger.
Gail rolled her eyes in disbelief and sighed.
"Zach I'm just worried you're going to get in trouble, but I'm more concerned with how you're corrupting your Pokemon!" Gail growled, stabbing him in the chest with an angry poke.
"Ow! I'll prove it to you okay? Meet me behind the Pokemon center in Jubilife City tomorrow afternoon and I'll show you what a darling little gentleman he can be, allright?" Zach asked, trying to block any further stabbings with his free hand.
"Allright, but I'm so not convinced." she said, turning and leaving.
The next day, Gail flew to Jubilife City and walked behind the Pokemon Center to find Zachary waiting for her. Fergie on his arm, preening his feathers.
"Hello! Ready for the show?" Zach asked, smiling.
Gail sighed and nodded, ready for the worst profanity to spew out of the Chatot.
"Okay. Fergie, tell me what you learned today." Zach said to the small bird Pokemon.
Fergie puffed up his chest and opened his beak, Gail shut her eyes tightly, waiting for her ears to be further deflowered.
"Good afternoon Gail, darling. Good afternoon Gail, darling. What a beautiful lady you be. With hair so shiny and skin so smooth, what a beautiful lady you be. Totot."
Gail's eyes shot open to see the confidant smile on Zach's face.
"That was the most...romantic thing I have ever heard a Pokemon say! Ever!" she gasped.
"See? He can be a little sugar factory too." Zach said, gently rubbing Fergie's beak. "Also, he'll remember this for about a week or longer. It's weird, but they're able to distinguish what's cussing and what's not."
"What a smart little creature!" Gail bubbled.
Gail stepped forward to pet Fergie, but when she did, she slipped on a puddle and fell backward, crashing into some boxes as she landed painfully on her butt.
"OH FUCKING HELL! THAT SHIT HURTS GOD DAMN IT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
Zach's eyes widened in shock and Fergie started squawking madly.
"FUCKING GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING GOD DAMN IT! THAT SHIT HURTS! SHIT! SHIT! GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING SHIT GOD DAMN IT! Totot!" the Chatot squawked over and over, flying around in circles over Gail's head.
Soon little children poked their heads into the alley, drawn by all the profanity spewing forth from Fergie's beak. Their mothers rushed in and clapped their hands over their kid's heads as they quickly and angrily led them away, shooting glares behind them.
Zach sighed as he bent down to help Gail up.
"...and you say I'M corrupting MY Pokemon?" Zach smiled, lifting his friend onto his shoulder.
"Oh shut up you asshole." Gail laughed through the searing pain in her lower back.
"Such filthy language from such a lovely-OW OW OW!" Zach yelped in pain, Gail had snagged a hold of his dark brown hair and used to to regain her footing. Unfortunately for the both of them, she slipped again and they both crashed to the ground.
"Shut up you asshole. Totot." Came a voice above them.
"What he said..." Gail giggled.
END
