As much as I adore Stargate, sometimes I think that they throw away the lives of other teams to easily, forgetting that the bonds we see in O'Neill's and Sheppard's team would be in every other team as well and that the loss must impact on the survivors.
She'd never felt pain quite like this before. Broken bones, yes. Broken heart, check. Being dissected while awake, that was new. Even though the knife was away from her skin, the wounds left alone, the pain was still there, throbbing away, making everything more than a little hazy, her senses far less sharp than she'd like. Still, despite all that, Jen could sense Dr. Weir watching her. Breathing was taking more effort than she could have imagined it would, rolling her head felt like her muscles were cramping into cement, whatever they'd given still in her system. When her cheek hit the cold metal of the table Jen gave up knowing that was probably be the last movement she'd make in this lifetime. Her eyes didn't even react to the blinding light when she opened them, the world around her wobbly and blurred, the shape Elizabeth's face nothing more than a fuzzy circle. Still though, she knew she was watching her.
"It's been the best thing to serve on the expedition, ma'am." The words left her mouth before she'd even really thought about them, but then again what was there to think about. The past six months had been an immense privilege, to serve in the mystical city she and her brothers had wanted to visit so much when they'd been kids. To die serving that city and the friends she'd made there. Well, there were worse ways to go. At least now she'd see her brothers again.
Jen never really heard what Elizabeth said to her after that, her mind drifting into unconsciousness, jolted back to awareness at the Weir's short scream. The noise only registered for a moment before the pain and cold dragged her back under, her mind only vaguely aware of the crack of weapons and the heavy thud of bodies. Warm hands pulled at her mind again, the touch gentle at her ankles and wrists, firm pressure against her throat. When pressure was applied to incisions on her arms, Jen wanted to scream, the pain back to its exquisite best. Eventually it was enough to push her back into unconsciousness, her mind free of the hurts of the moment.
Lorne hated not being able to back Sheppard up. Especially on this mission. Behind him Zalenka and his team were quiet, watching the screens they'd set up with an intensity he found hard to muster. His two marines on the other hand were pacing back and forth around the 'gate, continuously checking their watches, throwing looks at the shimmering blue of the wormhole as they did, impatience and fear burning in every muscle. It had been over two hours since Sheppard and his team had gone through, how long did it take. Again he turned to Zalenka, giving the scientist an impatient look receiving a solemn shrug in return. Impatience was something Lorne had learnt to deal with in during the expedition, normally it was having to wait for the order to go and extract Sheppard's team from whatever they had gotten themselves into this time. Now though, it was a little more personal.
A moment later the 'gate shut down, Hunter and Jake raising their weapons at the disturbance. Another glance at Zalenka, the scientist nodding. "Alright everyone, pack it up and let's go home." He'd never seen the marines move so fast to help the science teams and in any other instance he was have laughed but he shared their feeling of impatience. Over the past six months he'd learnt the dynamic of his new team, how they worked together. The two marines had already been close, brothers in everything but blood. Fighting the Goa'uld would do that to you. Jen had been the wild card. No 'gate experience. Only two years in the Navy. Still so young that he felt she could have been in high school. Part of him had been put off at her being British. Instead she'd slotted into the team like she'd been there forever, Hunter and Jake quickly adopting her into the family they'd built between them, thier surrogate sister. They'd quickly learnt to depend on each other and as much as he missed his old team he wouldn't trade his new one for anything. Now he was faced of the prospect of having to do exactly that, only this time there would be death in the team's history, a hole where once there had been a person. At least at the moment there was still a chance of her being alive, when they went back it would be decided one way or another.
It took less than fifteen minutes to get everything back through the 'gate, the scientist just as eager to be away from Gishcar as he and his team was to get back to the City. Operations was quiet when they stepped through, a despondent air hanging between the personnel. Handing his P90 to Jake he headed up the stairs, checking in with Chuck as he did. "They get back alright?"
"Yes, sir."
How did he even ask? "The condition of our personnel?"
Chuck seemed to take sympathy on him them, his eyes filling with compassion. "They took them to the infirmary. All three of them. You should head down." Something in Chuck's eyes made him nervous.
Nodding he turned ordering the marines to leave their tac vests and weapons there. To his surprise Teyla and Rodney were the only ones there when they arrived, their vests and weapons still by their sides. Silently they sat down, the three of them eyeing the infirmary with worry. "What happened?" Lorne's voice was more strained than he'd like.
"We were able to bring Doctors Weir and Marshal and Lt. Shann home. Dr. Beckett will not allow anyone into the infirmary until he has stabilised them." It was only a few minutes later when Ronon and Sheppard arrived, both looking freshly showered. He couldn't help but wonder why they need to clean up so desperately. Jake and Hunter shared a look at that, no doubt the same thought he'd had been running through their minds as well. Apart from a few scattered words silence reigned until the infirmary doors opened. After a moment Carson sent John's team in to see Dr. Weir he turned to Lorne and his team, the three of them bracing themselves for the worst.
"Lt. Shann is in serious condition. She's lost a hell of a lot of blood and the trauma she's undergone is extensive. She has an infected puncture wound in her shoulder, incisions into the muscles in her left hand, arm, leg and foot, as well as one into her abdomen. Now we've got her dialysis to filter out the alien toxin in her blood. She's not breathing on her own either, so she's ventilated for now." Lorne felt the breath leave his body. "I'm sorry Major, but if there's no improvement in her condition in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours then her living will request that we turn her life support off. If you'd like to come with me you can sit with her but I have to warn you, there are a lot of tubes and wires around the lieutenant."
Beside him he felt Hunter and Jake crumple as they followed Carson through the infirmary, past the group gathered around Elizabeth and past Dr. Marshall sleeping on one of the beds in the corner. The room she was in was dim, the lights low in case she suddenly woke up. His normally bright and witty lieutenant was as pale the sheets she was lying on. Bulky bandages were wrapped around her left arm and hand, a lump in the blanket suggested the same for her left leg and ribs. More bandages were wrapped around her shoulder, the hospital gown not quiet covering them all. Wires ran from her chest and hands to the machines that monitored her pulse and respirations. A defibrillator was pushed into a corner, close at hand should anything happen. Bags hung above her head, antibiotics, fluids and blood. He could only just see her face, her head only slightly raised from the flat bed, a tube running down her throat and into her lungs, keeping her breathing, the tubing taped to her pale cheeks, the machine noisy in the corner. There were so many wires she looked like she was lying in a nest of them. Machines surrounded the head of the bed, whirring a bleeping in quiet rhythm. Behind him, the two marines stopped in the doorway, frozen as they watched her. Taking the lead, he sat down beside Jen, gently taking her hand, carefully of the tubes there. Eventually Hunter and Jake joined him, the two big and burly marines ever so gently stroking away the stray strands of her blonde hair from her face and holding the tips of her bandaged fingers.
"Should we contact her family?" Jake's voice was quiet, his mind trying to work out how they'd even reach them; the first time he'd spoken since they'd come into the room hours ago.
Lorne shook his head. "She doesn't have anyone back on Earth." Jake's mouth formed an 'oh' his eyes even sadder than they were before. Lorne felt the stab of pain too. He remembered her saying that they were as close as a family as she'd ever have again.
Even in unconsciousness her mind wasn't free of pain. The worst emotional hurt she had ever felt running over and over again in her sleep. Walking home from a friends when she was fifteen. The police car sat in her drive, the neighbours looking on. Police tape strung across the pavement. Her slow steps picking up into a run as she pulled the headphones off and barrelled into the drive, the snapped tape flaring in the breeze. The detective sat on the steps, the uniformed officer beside him, both with the same sympathetic look. "Do you know where you parents are?" The question filled her with dread. The look between them when she said they were on a trip even more so. The journey to the hospital. Her baby brother on life support. Her older brother sat by his side, his wrists cuffed and tears running down his face, a police officer behind him. His sobbing words, "I didn't see him and I hit him with the car." The day they turned his life support off, the final breath leaving his body in a quiet exhale. Three weeks later she was running again. Her brother stood on the edge of the flooded quarry, stepping off even as he said 'I'm sorry." Her screaming at the air as she begged him not too, screaming at her parents not to close themselves off, not to ignore her. Sobbing as she realised everything was gone.
The sobs turned into choking, her breaths not coming as fast as she needed them, in a different rhythm than she wanted, to slow for her to cope, her throat tight and sore, trying to breath around a tube that shouldn't be there. Everything was too loud, too bright, her body hyperaware. Her hands closing into fists as she tried to cope. Someone was yelling, hands holding her down against the bed. Heavy running footsteps approached. The tube in her throat was pulled out, her desperate gasps for breath turning into racking coughs. Frantically her eyes searched the room, her three teammates staring back with worried eyes, Dr. Becket by her head flashing a light in her eyes.
"Good to have you back with us." His Scottish lilt reminded her of home a little.
Somehow she smiled. Gently the bed was raised enough for her to look around a little easier, the three men who had become her brothers looking back at her with more relief now than worry. Their eyes taking in the sight of her watching them.
Everything hurt. Every muscle in her body throbbed and ached. Her fingers burning where she'd tightened them into a fist in her panic. They must have seen the pain in her eyes, the three of them turning to look at Carson as he quickly drew up a syringe, smiling as he slid it into her IV line, pressing the plunger down even as she whispered, "no, I don't want to sleep."
Lorne took her hand again then, his fingers easily wrapping around her small palm, the simple act of friendship enough to settle her swirling mind. "Yes you do." His voice was calm but firm, not an order, a suggestion. In response she felt her own hand tighten around his, her lifeline to the waking world, the tether that told her she was safe. On her other side she watched as Jake and Hunter leant back in their chairs, shoulders relaxing as they smiled at her. Still, Jen fought the drugs in her system, to stubborn just to give in easily despite the relief from the pain that was making her muscles melt. As her eyes began to close she was sure that there was someone there, her head rolling to look at the corner of the room, squinting to try and focus. Her brothers were there and not her marine ones. Luca's tall, skinny frame half hidden by little Ollie, his curly hair pressed against his brother's chest. The last thing she saw before the drugs pulled her under were their smiles.
This was longer than I planned, but like I said above, sometimes the other teams seem to be forgotten. Thank you for reading. This is the last thing I plan to write for this fic. I have loved writing every moment, and loved reading your reviews even more.
