I ran as fast as I could to the stables. I wanted to get away for a minute from everyone. I didn't want to hear anything from Erik about how now we could finally be together. I wasn't sure I even wanted to be with him. I knew I had feelings for him, but I don't know if I want to always have a play in his jealous nature. Then there's Aphrodite, she's my consulate and I know I can't keep any secrets from her, but she would just tell me to get rid of them both. Probably good advice right now, but not what I wanted to hear. I was upset. I said something out of spite and Stark caught it and now he hated me. Or at least I thought he did. I walked in the dark stables and over to Persephone's stall. She neighed and kicked her hooves in delight. It had been a while since I came to visit.

"She misses you" a familiar and sweet voice said. I turned to see Lenobia leaning against the stall as I was petting Persephone on her neck.

"I know" my voice was glum and low as I turned back to look at my horse.

"Is something wrong Zoey?" Lenobia asked.

I sat on the hay bale next to Persephone's stall and slouched. "Everything! I can't do anything right it seems."

Lenobia walked over and sat down with me, "Darling, nothing is ever what it seems. Tell me what is bothering you and hopefully I can help" she tucked a hair out of my face and behind my ear.

I told her all about Erik, Stark, Heath, the jealously, the sex, my confused feelings for both of them, what happened tonight. How my High Priestess hood is not starting off so well. She listened earnestly, nodded when she understood and arched her eyebrow when she thought something sounded a bit off.

"I just don't know what to do now. Stark is mad at me, and I didn't even mean what I said"

"Then why did you say it?" Lenobia asked.

"Because I was mad at Erik, I was being spiteful, it wasn't true. I even told Erik how my feelings ran deep for Stark since the moment we met. And Stark came out just as I was trying to be spiteful to Erik and it backfired on me."

"Zoey, you will learn it's going to be much easier if you are just forward and honest. Being spiteful is nothing different than what Erik did to Heath when he threatened him. You're trying to make him a guilty party to your own choices. You need to stand firm and tall for what you believe in." Lenobia patted me on the knee. "Come, let's take a ride, you'll feel much better."

I went and got Persephone's riding gear and Lenobia let her out of her stall and was walking around the horse checking her hooves. "She's all ready to go" Lenobia gave me the green light to ride. "Take her for a run through the woods. You'll find it refreshing for you both"

The moment I was up on the horse, Lenobia smacked Persephone's rear and she took off from the stables as quick as lightning. Lenobia was right; I was feeling refreshed and better being on Persephone running through the woods. We ran and ran as fast as the wind. I felt my hair whip around my face and the wind sting my eyes, but I felt free. For once, I felt to myself and no one else. As we turned to come back to the stables I saw a light on in the field house. I felt my heart pang as I knew who would be in there. I was right as we started to draw near and I could hear the wisp of the arrow flying in the air towards its target.

Persephone's hooves clacked on the walkway at the entrance of the field house. I jumped down and lead her to the door and tied off her reins as I stepped inside. Stark was standing about 100 yards away from the target, It was even hard for me to see, but dead center were arrows upon arrows upon arrows. All splitting the next to hit the target dead on.

Without even looking at me he spoke, "What do you want Zoey?" and he let go of the arrow as it flew towards the target once again.

"I wanted to apologize. What you heard did not come out right. It wasn't meant for you to hear like that."

"What does it matter, you said it, you'd have to mean it" He drew another arrow, still not even turning to look at me. I could feel my tears swelling up again as I walked closer to him.

"That's where you are wrong. It matters a great deal to me. You mean a great deal to me. I said that to be spiteful to Erik, not because I didn't feel anything for you."

Stark turned away from his target, arrow ready and bow drawn, he looked the other direction away from me and down to the floor. He released his arrow and it hit the target once again and he put his bow down. He stood there not saying anything and still looking away from me.

"I'm sorry. James…please, I…" I started to say before I started to choke up. "I…"

That's when he turned to me and strode to me until he was right in front of me. "You what?" his eyes were searching and waiting.

"I love you" my heart was beating a million miles a minute and I felt my spirit leap and I knew the words rang true. "I love you James"

Starks face was still solid, cold and hard. The only way to see his emotion was through his eyes, which were starting to tear up and getting softer and softer. "Zoey…" he said before I cut him off by pulling him towards me and kissing him on the lips. I felt his body relax and his arms come up to hold my shoulders as he kissed me back. I opened my mouth so his tongue could explore my mouth and mine his.

I finally pulled away from him, "I'm so sorry!" the tears were starting to flow out now.

He hushed me and wiped a tear away with his thumb and then tasted the blood that was dripping down his hand. "Just stop. No more tears" he said searching my face and finally I got a smile glimpse of his ever famous smirk that I did love so much. I felt as ease now. As if something heavy was weighing on my soul and has now been lifted. I knew now, I was finally being honest with myself, not just with everyone else. I really did love Stark, so why hide it? My only problem, I did love Erik too, but there were way too many issues to worry about him right now.

I turned when I heard Persephone neigh outside and Lenobia was there in the doorway holding her reins and smiling. "I see you took care of your problem?"

"Thank you" I said and Lenobia left leaving Stark and I, in the same place that we found that we had a connection, and repairing that connection once again.

Stark intertwined his fingers with mine and held my hand close to his heart. "This is where you are, and will always be" he said as he bent to kiss me again on the lips, ever so lightly. "So" he started to pull away "Does this mean that you and me are….you know…back together?"

I half heartedly smiled at me, "I'm not sure what it means James. I know how I feel about you. I don't need to label you as my boyfriend to know that."

Stark stepped away and nodded his head, "I see"

"See what?" I asked as my brows furrowed.

"You don't want to be attached; you still want to keep the door open." He rubbed his chin shaking his head.

"Not like that!" I took a deep breath and just shook my head in disbelief, "I don't think it's wise of me to be attached to anyone right now. You know how I feel about you and vise versa."

"Yeah, but I also know you have feelings for Erik too" He turned his back and started to walk towards the target at the end of the field house and then he stopped and turned around, "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me? I feel it in my soul that we are supposed to be together and yet you deny me because of my brother, who not only possesses qualities that you find unfavorable, but he slept with your best friend out of spite because you wouldn't sleep with him. What does that tell you? Is that really love, Zoey?"

I bit my lower lip and shook my head. I knew he was right. When things went south, who did I turn to, Stark. Who was jealous and pushy, Erik. Granted he had been consumed with darkness and didn't realize what he was doing with Stevie Rae, I was willing to forgive that because of my own mistakes.

"How can I not forgive him for doing something that ultimately did to him first? Would that be fair of me when he was willing to forgive me?"

"Did he really forgive you, or did he just tell you that? How many times did you tell me he was constantly throwing you up against the wall in order to ravish you?" Stark ran to me, quick just like Darius and threw me up against the wall with my hands pinned back by my head. "Do you like this? Do you like how rough this is?" he let me down and walked away, "If I was you, I'd almost call that rape, not passion."

I just stood there in disbelief of what he was saying, but somehow it did make sense. I went along with it though, so I couldn't call Erik a rapist because he wanted to have sex in the tunnels. In the moment, I probably would have.

"What we have Zoey" Stark pointed between him and I, "is passion, is love. That is not what I see when I see you and him together. I see a man and his prized possession. That's what you are to him, a possession. Your not you when your with him, you're his. He will always try to get you to give up everything for him, but I would never ask you to give away anything you wouldn't freely give away on your own."

I couldn't speak. My mouth was like it was clamped shut. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but my stomach started to churn something awful. As there truth in what Stark was telling me. Was I making a big mistake by holding onto hope that a nicer Erik, the Erik I first knew was still in there? I had noticed the pressure to give into his sexual appetite. I remember Aphrodite telling me when we were getting ready for the initiation that Erik used to have an insatiable sexual appetite. It was like he was never satisfied with what he had and always wanted more. That's when she referenced when I first saw her and him together, in the hall way. My first day at the House of Night, I thought she was throwing herself at him, but she was just trying to please him. He had pushed her away when he saw me. She said he had an unhealthy obsession with me, but never thought much to it since she valued herself higher than I was at the time.

"Your right" I said. "I'm blind, I've been blind the whole time. I just refused to see it because I always want to be able to see the good in people."

Stark walked back up in front of me and touched my face with his hand, "There is nothing wrong with trying to see good in people. If you hadn't seen it in me, I wouldn't be here right now."

"I just never put two and two together." I looked up into his eyes, and then I knew. I heard the little whisper in the back of my ears, kiss him

I reached up, grabbed his face with my hands and kissed him deeply. "Thank you"

"Your welcome" he smiled.

"Oh crap! What time is it?" I searched his arms for a watch but found none.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"The circle! Damnit I forgot all about it! Everything with Heath, then Erik and now you, I totally forgot I told everyone to be at the east wall!"

"Then let's get you there" Stark grabbed my hand and I summoned Air to our aid in order to fly us to the east wall in record time.

We flew to a running pace when we arrived at the east wall, greeted by very inpatient prefect members. Aphrodite flipped her hair and walked right up to us, "Your late"

"I know" was all I said, but mentally, I was explaining for my absence. Aphrodite just looked at me, then at Stark, gave him a long and careful look and then shrugged her shoulders.

Everyone was in their place and had their candles ready. Damien looked bored and disinterested. Stevie Rae looked like she just woke up, but a little pink from the blood that she had recently. Grandma was in the center of the circle at the offering table with a bundle of herbs that I haven't seen before.

"What you got there Grandma?" I asked.

"Oh Zoeybird, I collected many important herbs for tonight's circle casting. This should help with your protection spell. Bay Leaves, White Snake Root, Horehound, Lavender and Sage. All ward off evil and help protect you, your health and this place. I have also retrieved some Dragon Blood incense which we should burn throughout the ceremony." She smiled.

"Thanks Grandma, that will make an excellent smug stick" I smiled and then turning to all my friends, "I'm sorry I am tardy everyone. There were some…matters that needed to be taken care of."

I walked to Damien, as I always started with the East, being Air first. "I call to the element of the East...to the white clouds wandering across a pale blue-violet sky… Air you, which lift them...to the breeze that blows across my face....to the currents that support the wings of the seagull...and the winds of our dreams...Air, which is mighty and strong and often leaves a path of destruction in its wake. Be with us here tonight and let the power of your force fill our lungs...open our minds...lift our souls…and protect us this chilly night. Air, we call you to this circle."

As I lit the candle a hurried gust of wind whipped around us, strong enough to blow us over yet gentle enough to keep us on our feet.

I walked to Shaunee, next being Fire which is to the South, "I call to the element of the South....to the dry heat of the desert that burns under a flaming orange sun...to the courage of the lion whose red mane leaps in flames about his face...to the energy that burns within us…to the heat the sears away impurities and ultimate destruction that follows. Fire, we call you to this circle."

Everyone felt the warmth that filled the circle as Shaunee's candle burst into flames even before I lit the candle. She grinned with excitement as the flames reached higher and bigger until it melted with wind and created a giant swirling ball of fire.

I was thankful that Erin was next, "I call to the West...to the deep blue-green waters that rush the shore...to the dolphin that weaves in and out of the purple sea, daring to explore the deepest waters...to the white steed twisting and leaping out of the waves as they crash towards the shore...to the awesome power that carries us forward spiraling and gasping, into a future we dare to meet….to the hard force of your waves and the angry thrust of your currents, Water, we call you to this circle."

Water burst out from underneath Erin and joined in the fire and wind tunnel, one never touching the other, all melting together.

I walked to Stevie Rae next who was itching in her station, "I call to the North…to the fields of winter grasses and the woods, blanketed in moss and the dry leaves of summer past...I call to the direction of mysteries...to the secrets held aloft by the jeweled tapestry of black tree limbs held against the night sky...I follow the silent trail of the stag as it weaves its way through the dark of the forest...I call to the stag who has mastered the power of silence. Earth, we call you to this circle."

The ground rocked and everyone began to scream as this was not what they may have expected. As soon as the ground finished trembling the scent of lavender and sweet grass filled the circle. I winked at Stevie Rae and turned to return to the center of the circle where the last element was to be called, Spirit.

"Spirit, without you we would cease to be living souls and be immediately resolved back into the other four elements which have no material life of their own in this world without you. Soul and Spirit are one and the same and are the animating, life-giving principle moving throughout all worlds, flowing into all worlds from the dreamer of the shining dream and flowing from all that is dreamed back to its dreamer. Spirit, you are the relationship we all have with Nyx. Spirit is the means whereby the all communicates with Nyx. Through you Spirit we communicate with all that is. We enter into communion with the all and with Nyx. The all and Nyx enter into communion with us through Spirit. We call you to this circle."

I felt my heart leap out of my chest as a static electricity filled my body and radiated throughout the whole circle. I lifted my arms up in the air, "The circle is complete and only with permission can those who wish to do us harm may cross these walls. Air, we ask you to blow away all bad conscious to those who might come at evil's will. Fire, burn away the passion of dealing with death and mark those who seek to trespass onto our lands. Water, fill their bodies with fluids and drown them in their own misery. Earth, bury and conceal those who walk with hatred. Maybe they finally see the darkness behind their ways. Spirit, keep us uplifted and give us hope, led those within the spirit world out of our realm and keep us safe."

Once I finished with my saying Grandma came behind me and blew smoke from her gathered herbs at each one of us. As she did, she walked to the walls of the grounds and blew the smoke up into the walls. "Bid you spirits stay away, you will not harm me, nor friends in my company or any that dwell within these walls. Goddess of the Heavens hear my call" she chanted wafting the smoke in the direction of the wall.

When Grandma finished with the smudge sticks, I grabbed the goblet that sat on the table and bit into my wrist, "Goddess Nyx, I offer myself and pledge myself to you. Help me protect these students and to defeat whatever element that maybe be in effect to destroy us" I let the blood drop into the goblet then licked my wound close. I proceeded to pass the goblet around to everyone to drink. Once we concluded the protection ceremony I released the elements of their duties and we closed the circle. I felt all energy drain from me at that moment and felt overwhelmingly tired.

"Seems to me like you need a snack" a familiar voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Heath, walking around the grounds.

"What are you doing out here?" I said in a low voice, hopefully no one would really notice that it was him out there.

"Do you need more? I can give you more?" He offered tilting his head to the side.

"No! You promised Heath. Now what are you doing out here?" I commanded from him.

"I'm sorry, I was just walking around. They gave me some food and something to drink and told me to go outside for a bit. I saw some people over here and I came to check it out. I didn't realize it was you…geesh"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to jump all over you, I'm just not…used to you being here." I had to chose my words carefully. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Hey Heath!" Stark said as he came in and shook Heath's hand. "How ya doin'? Did you get plenty to eat? Drink?"

"Yeah man, I'm cool! Thanks so much. I was just…catching up with Zo here." Heath smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure you guys have a lot of catching up to do, Zoey, why don't you go show him Persephone? He might enjoy a bit of hard labor" Stark laughed. I gave him one of my silly annoyed faces and took Heath's arm and tangled mine with his.

"Do you want to see my horse?" I asked

"That's ok, maybe another time, I'd just like to sit and talk for a bit if you don't mind?"

I just shook my head, "No that's fine too, come, we'll go sit under the big oak in the courtyard. There is a great view of the night sky there."

We were walking to the courtyard when I heard a small rustling behind me. I stopped in my tracks and Heath looked at me, "What's wrong?"

"I think someone is following us" I stayed still and looked in both directions. I turned around to see someone far in the distance, but the sound seemed much closer than that person was. I brushed it aside and continued walking. We were almost to the tree. We talked about what we'd been up to lately, how Heath had been coping since the whole Tunnel thing. How is parents were and such. He asked me about Erik, and I kind of avoided the question, asking him one in turn.

"Ok now, your not answering me, so is that Erik guy your boyfriend?" he asked again for the hundredth time.

"No, Erik is not my boyfriend." I said.

"Is Stark?"

"Not really. I wouldn't say that I have a boyfriend, but I have boys that I like, I just can't seem to chose which one."

"I think you shouldn't chose either!" Heath said which surprised me because he seemed to be on good terms with Stark.

"Why so?" I asked interested.

"Because we should get back together"

"Oh Lord!" I rolled my eyes, "Seriously? Seriously? You're going to bring this up again? Damnit Heath!"

Heath was rolling on the ground laughing a ton, "I was only kidding. I wanted to see what your reaction would be! HA! I was right!"

I scowled at him and pursed my lips. I wasn't happy that I'd been tricked, but I let it slide since I figured he really was only kidding.

"Boo!" Erik said as he came right of out the shadows behind Heath and I. I let out a little yip but Heath just chuckled a bit before his face got serious. "What's goin' on you two? Not getting too cozy are we?"

"Wouldn't you like to know" Heath spat back at him. He gave Erik a cold glare and Erik's eyes narrowed at Heath before they opened brightly at me.

"So, Z, I was thinking, I have class tomorrow and I wanted to know if maybe you'd want to come and be a guest actress? You were actually pretty good the last time that we did some acting in the class" He winked.

"I'll have to see, I think Neferet has some stuff for me to do since classes start back tomorrow, and I have so much to prepare for the Parent Visit next weekend. But I'll let you know" I smiled at him.

"Oh" his voice got small, "Sure, no problem. We're working on the play all week, so anytime, just let me know"

"Yeah, I'd like that" I smiled at him. It was an awkward few minutes with us all just sitting there staring at each other, not sure what to say to the next. Heath eventually stood up.

"Well, it was nice to catch up Zo. I'm glad you're doin' alright. Erik" Heath nodded his head.

Erik just nodded back and once Heath was gone he turned to me, "I saw you both walking towards the trees, there isn't something going on between you guys is there?"

I just rolled my eyes, "Seriously? No. We were just talking and catching up. Erik, you forget that I've known Heath my WHOLE life! Of course we're going to be friendly to one another and play around, but that don't mean that I'm going to jump his bones!" I stood up and dusted myself off.

"I didn't mean it like that…I just…"

"Just what? Spit it out Erik, just what? Tell me how you feel, really. I want to know" I stood there awaiting his answer. He seemed to fidget for a bit before finally letting out a breath.

"I just don't like him; I don't think you should hang around him anymore." Erik slammed his hands into his pockets.

"And since when does a Professor tell a High Priestess whom she can and can't associate with? I think that's your little jealous streak running in and you better get it in check."

I turned my back and walked away from him, ignoring the calls of my name, I walked back to the dining hall to be with my friends, enjoy a nice 'meal' and possibly unwind for a bit before all shit hit the fan.