Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just the uninvited guest swimming around in her pool.
Not to give too much away, but yeah, this chapter is NC-17!
The Path We Chose
Chapter 7: The Sound of Love
I took a shower before Edward came over. I took a shower and shaved and then I blew dry my hair because I didn't want him to know I'd showered. I wanted him to think I was always this clean. Wrapped in a towel, I sifted through my underwear drawer. Choosing underwear was difficult. I didn't have anything close to what I'd seen in lingerie catalogs--no silk, satin or lace. I thought that bra and panties were better matching than un-matching so I chose the black cotton set. It was the sexiest thing available to me--I had no better choice. I dressed in regular clothes because, as eager as I was, I didn't want to seem too eager.
I cleaned my room, picked the clothes up off the floor, smoothed my bed, and hid the teddy bear in the closet. And then I sat--anxious and nervous and chewing on my nails--in the living room, waiting for Edward. My stomach felt oddly empty even though I'd eaten dinner only hours earlier with my dad.
Edward knocked on my door at 10:01. The second I saw him looking at me with his beautiful green eyes, I wanted to kiss him but I felt strangely insecure. It wasn't like other times when everything was spontaneous. Now our minds were involved leaving us all awkward with each other. I moved aside and he stepped in. We hadn't touched or spoken yet, which was also strange. My palms were sweaty and my heart did that pounding thing again. I brought a hand to my chest. Maybe that would calm it down.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi. Do you w-want a drink or something?" I headed toward the kitchen.
"No, thank you."
"No?" I turned toward him.
"No." His eyes were on mine and he stepped forward. The backs of his fingers brushed my jaw, then his hand was behind my neck, pulling me toward him, and poof, awkwardness gone, yearning, all-present.
Edward began the kiss very slow, deliberately slow. I felt his tongue just barely leave his lips to enter my mouth. I brought my tongue to his and tried to entice him to enter my mouth further, but he was very controlled. Making him lose his control became my challenge. My arms circled his neck, fingers in his hair, guiding him closer to me. Deepen the kiss, I willed. But still he moved so slow, so gentle. It was excruciating. I pulled back and looked at him. His eyes opened and I gave him a small smile, and he leaned toward me. I let our lips touch but then I pulled back again. And again his eyes opened. His lips searched mine and I allowed him just the tip of my tongue before I pulled away a third time. This time, his eyes didn't open. This time, his lips didn't slowly search mine. They crashed into mine on a deep breath, giving me everything I needed. I melted against his body, his arms around my back holding me up. Both of us were breathing hard and pulling on each other. His hands felt their way up my sides and over my breasts, thumbs teasing until I had that overwhelming feeling to remove my clothing again.
"Edward?"
He pulled his hands away. "Do you want me to stop?" I barely heard him, he was so out of breath.
"I think we should go to my room." He followed me upstairs and I locked the door, just in case.
I turned to him, lifted his shirt off and slid my fingers from his shoulders down his his chest, and roamed his stomach. He felt smooth and soft, yet firm at the same time. I moved my hands around his back and hugged him. "You should never wear shirts," I said.
He hugged me back. "Nor should you." His fingers hooked under the back of my shirt and he peered down at me like he was waiting for my permission.
"Go ahead," I told him and took a step away from him.
His hands gripped my sides, just under my shirt and pushed their way up my body, moving the shirt along, too. I raised my arms and he continued his trail up, lifting my shirt and drifting over my elbows all the way to my wrists until the shirt was on the floor and his hands were in mine. He brought our arms back down to our sides and grazed his fingertips up the back of my arms to my shoulders. I closed my eyes and the feeling grew stronger. His hands were on either side of my neck making their way down my chest, over my bra, then down my stomach and I took in a breath, my heart racing. He unbuttoned my jeans and pushed them down over my hips, down my legs, his fingers still trailing along my skin. His hands did not leave my body with each article of clothing he removed; he just kept feeling me.
I stepped out of my jeans and he traced the insides of my legs now. It was getting too intense; I thought I might collapse. I put my hands on his shoulders to keep myself up, and when I felt his skin I couldn't fathom how I had ever had my hands off of him. I knelt down to the floor because I could no longer stand. I felt his biceps under my hands and I wanted to kiss them, so I did. Kissed them over and over. His hands moved around my back to unhook my bra. He did it with such ease that it made me wonder if he hadn't done it before. Those thoughts, along with any other coherent thoughts where gone as he pulled it off my arms, still touching me all the while. His eyes scanned my body and I averted my eyes. "Look at me," he said, so I did. "There you are."
He lifted me up, placing me on the bed and hovered above me. And then something occurred to me for the first time. "Did you bring…?"
He leaned to one side, reached into his pocket, pulled out a string of condoms, and smirked at me. There must have been six. I wondered how they even fit in his front pocket. That made me laugh. But then he was on top of me again and I was beneath him, stomach to stomach. I touched his face and his lips came down on mine and we kissed with all the desire and want that had been building for so long. I reached between us to undo his jeans and I nudged at them. He laughed a little and removed them for me and then he removed what little remained of our clothing--his boxers and my panties.
We continued to explore further with fingers and kisses and tongues and our breaths were ragged and blending together until they were indistinguishable--melding into one breath. It felt just as good to touch him as it felt whenever he touched me. It was too much. Too much. I needed more. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around him. I wanted all of him.
He was hovering over me, and I really wanted to feel his chest on mine but I couldn't say that. My legs were wrapped around him and he was right there about to enter.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded again.
"Bella, I need to hear it."
"I'm ready, I'm sure," I said and it all came out in one quick breath. He tore open the condom wrapper but I didn't watch him put it on. I looked at his face instead. His hair fell just a little bit toward his eyes and his face had this sheen about it that I was drawn to touch. Then I felt him pressing against me and I squeezed my eyes and made a light squeal sound. It sounded a bit like a mosquito buzzing, very quiet, but still there.
"Bella? Are you okay?"
"Yes."
I felt him push in just a little and I squeezed my eyes and made that high pitched sound again.
"Bella, please, we don't have to. I can just…go take a shower."
"I'm sorry, Edward. I want to. I'm fine, really. I'm just nervous about the pain, that's all. I'm not nervous about you, or this, or anything. You, you're perfect. But the pain--It's the anticipation. Just go ahead. Show me how much you love me."
"I will, but look at me or something. Try to relax. I know it's going to hurt you but if I'm going to do this, I have to pretend it's not that bad. When you make that face and that noise it seems like it hurts bad and I can't do it. God, I can't hurt you. I do love you," he kissed my face. " I love you so much."
"Show me."
He kissed me softly, my lips, the corner of my mouth, my jaw, under my ear, and I felt his chest on mine and it was right so I held him there. And then he was in and it did hurt. My legs tensed around him and I may have squeezed my eyes, but I didn't make a sound. In fact, I think I held my breath.
"Okay?" His voice was in my ear, less than a whisper.
"Yes." And then he was moving. And this was sex and making love, Edward and I, one. After the pain subsided, it felt like nothing I had ever felt before and I wondered why anybody ever stopped this. Why would anyone in their right mind ever stop or be too tired or have a headache too bad not to do this, to feel this. It was like music; fingers on a piano; a pick strumming a guitar; a voice flowing with lyrics. Melodic. And one necessary for the other. Edward moaned and quivered on top of me and dropped into my arms. I held him close and caressed his back up and down. "I love your skin."
"I love your skin, too," he said through heavy breaths. And he kissed me all over my skin to show me every last inch he loved.
Then he lay down and brought me with him, my head against his chest. My head rose with his breathing and I listened to his heartbeat.
He kissed my forehead, "I'll be right back." He left my room and went into the bathroom and I watched him the whole time. When he was out of site I just looked at the open doorway until he was there again and my eyes followed his every move as he came back to me.
"Do you feel alright? Are you sore?" He was lying with me again and he kissed me and it was like he never left.
"I feel loved and lucky and wonderful and sleepy." I held onto his waist and tucked myself right against his side where my curves fit his. "Did I bleed?" I was immediately embarrassed after I asked the question and hoped he would say no.
"A little. I saw it on the condom." I closed my eyes.
"I need to bathe but all I want to do is lie here with you right now." His arms enveloped me like he was swallowing me with his body.
"Good," he said. "This is so comfortable."
"I know. I call this bed my cloud"
"It is a cloud, but I meant you." He ran his fingers down my side, over my waist to my hips and back again. It gave me chills. "Nothing more comfortable than this body, right here."
We both fell asleep, skin against skin in my cloud of a bed. Sleep was unavoidable, but hot. I awoke and kicked off the covers. Edward didn't seem to mind--he hadn't moved an inch. I wanted to kiss him but didn't want to wake him so I kept my lips to myself. I felt all sticky and decided to shower. Maneuvering myself out from under his draping arm wasn't easy. It was heavy and I was slow and careful. In the shower, I did see a little bit of blood on my thigh. Bye-Bye virginity, I thought while it washed away, down the drain.
"There you are," Edward said when I returned to my bedroom wrapped in two towels, one around my body and the other around my head.
"You said that earlier," I said, and he smiled at the memory.
"You look cute."
"You look sexy." I could say it and mean it because now I knew exactly what sexy looked like. Before tonight, I only speculated, but tonight I really saw it.
"How do you feel?"
"Glad that you didn't stop." I sat down next to him but he wasn't having any distance between us and pulled me tight to him.
"Me too. You don't even know." He kissed the curve of my neck right where it met my shoulder. "I know I played it down, but if we had to stop, that would have been…so painful. If I had pulled that off I would have deserved some sort of self-control medal."
"You liked it, then?"
"You have no idea how much."
"I think I have an idea," I smiled at him. "Again?"
He pulled both my towels off and placed himself on top of me without a word and covered my skin with kisses. I loved when he answered my questions with kisses. He lifted my arms over my head, holding them against the pillow, kissing his way up my chest and across to my armpit. I pulled my arm down and laughed. His lips roamed my shoulder, my neck, my collar bone, my breasts and then back to my eager mouth.
"Bella," he kept whispering between kisses. "Bella. Bella. Beautiful Bella."
And, Oh, my, god, I had never loved my name more than that moment--hearing it and feeling it at the same time. I was sure that from then on, whenever I would hear my name from his lips, I would deserve that self-control medal for not pouncing on him wherever we happened to be.
If I had thought our first time was good, the second time was just…indescribable.
There was no longer any pain, only pleasure, complete pleasure. No. Pleasure is not even a strong enough word for what I felt. The first time may have ended in love and change, and the most extreme closeness. The second time ended in some sort of explosion of white. Whiteness all around me like I was floating. I actually felt like I was floating out of my body. I wanted to know if that's what he felt, too, but I couldn't talk yet. I was frozen underneath his hot and heaving body. He rolled off of me and I followed, squirming to stay close to him. He hugged me and his hand pulled my leg over him, and this time, I may have said out loud, "Why would anybody ever stop?"
In that moment, I knew that Edward was it for me. He was the first and the last. It seemed crazy, but it was fact.
We lay awake but in silence, tangling our fingers together until I got chatty. "Did you know I'm scared of dogs?"
"No."
"Well, I am. My grandma loved dogs. She had this Bulldog that liked to tackle me and with my 'amazing' balance, it wasn't hard. Outside, in her yard, the dog jumped on me and we rolled down the hill together. I was scared out of my mind that the thing was going to eat me and my grandma thought it was the funniest, cutest thing. He didn't try to eat me but he did slobber all over me. Later she got this tiny Jack Russell, but never trained it--so you'd go to pet it and it would snap at you. That dog bit my hand. I still have the scar. See?"
He took my hand and laughed. "I don't see anything."
"That's because it's dark, but it's right there." I pointed to my palm and he kissed it.
"When I was little," he said, "I was afraid of the squirrels that lived outside my house every spring."
I pushed against his chest. "Don't make fun of me."
"I'm serious. The way they scurried all over the place and up trees--it creeped me out. I went through this phase where I would race from the car into the house and shut the door before they could sneak passed me. My dad was embarrassed. He kept telling me that the squirrels wouldn't come near us, that they were scared, too. But I knew he was wrong."
All I could do was laugh.
"Hey. Stop laughing."
I tried to stop but it only got worse. I was shaking with laughter; I could barely breathe.
"I was only four," he said. "I'm never telling you anything again."
"Tell me."
"Nope--nothing."
"I'm sorry. I want to know more. What else were you afraid of?"
"Not telling."
"Rabbits?...birds?...butterflies?!" And then we were both laughing. He rolled on top of me and kissed my neck in the same spot over and over.
We cuddled up together until 4:25 because he had to go. Neither of us wanted him to go but he had to because my dad was due home at 5:00. We spent every remaining minute we had together kissing.
"Don't get up," he said. Then he searched in the dark for his clothes. I watched him dress.
"No shirt," I said and he laughed because he thought I was kidding. "No shirt," I said again, "until you're out of my room." He came over to give me one last kiss goodnight and I got to touch his chest again and his arms and his…
"Bella, be careful, or I won't be able to leave."
"You better not say my name like that or I won't let you leave."
"Your name like what?"
"With your voice."
He gave me one of those half smiles. I kissed the corner of his smile and held onto his hand as he backed toward the door until I could no longer reach him. Fingertips to fingertips were the last to touch before my hand dropped to the bed. "You're my love," he said.
"And you're mine."
I hope you enjoyed.
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