Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. I'm just an uninvited guest swimming in her pool.

This chapter is rated NC-17!!


The Path We Chose

Chapter 9: Candlelight

The six of us lit candles around Edward's living room on New Year's Eve. We needed them. The electricity had been flickering on and off and then, just after 11:00, it went out completely. Carlisle and Esme left for a party in Seattle well before we lost the electricity. They wouldn't be home until the following day. They knew we were all here. They didn't know Jasper had brought champagne and it was chilling in their refrigerator.

"Bella," Alice said, "is it safe for you to play with fire? What if you trip or drop the match?" And then she laughed at her own joke and Jasper laughed at how "cute" she was.

"I think I can handle lighting a candle without burning down the house, thank you very much." But then all eyes were on me like I needed to prove it and I got nervous and couldn't even light the match. I kept flicking it on the back of the match book, and nothing. I went through three matches and listened to growing snickers around the room before I finally lit it. Then there was clapping.

I couldn't look at anybody but Edward and he was looking at me, too, from the other side of the room as he lit the last candle. I ignored the fact that he hadn't so much as glanced at the match as he lit it.

Emmet pulled Rosalie down next to him on the sofa, not an inch between them. "Edward, man," Emmett said, "you know, we haven't talked in a while, I thought--"

"I am not talking politics with you tonight," Edward said, still looking at me.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." I saw Edward's eyes flash to Emmett.

"Come on," Rosalie said, her hand on Emmett's knee, easily distracting him from Edward. "Can't you think of anything else to do on New Year's eve rather than playing with our minds?"

"Hmm," he said. "I can think of something." He brushed the hair off her shoulder, sweeping his fingers over her neck. "How about I talk politics all over your body?" Then he whispered something in her ear that made her close her eyes. He kissed her neck and I laughed and looked away.

Alice and Jasper were now standing in front of the big window gazing out at the falling snow--his arm around her hip and her head resting against his chest.

Edward came to my side and whispered in my ear, too. "Three…two…one." That's when Emmett and Rosalie stood up at the same time and headed for the stairs. "Stay out of my room!" Edward yelled after them.

"Let's go outside," Jasper said to Alice.

"It's too cold."

"Come on. Just for a minute. I'll keep you warm." She couldn't argue with that. They grabbed their coats and went outside, not saying a word to us. It was like they completely forgot anyone else was here.

Now alone with Edward, I took his hand and wandered over to the piano, pressing a few of the high keys. "Play," I said.

"Not tonight." He shook his head.

"Come on, you said you would play for me sometime."

"Bella, I'm really not that good."

"But your mom said…"

"I had the potential. I didn't have enough lessons. I wasn't able to learn much and what I do know, I pretty much taught myself."

"Just play. I don't care what it is. Play something simple. Chopsticks if you want. Just play." I brought a hand to his chest, stood on my tiptoes, kissed him. Maybe it was a manipulative move, maybe not, because I really did need to kiss him. His lips had been moving in a slight, embarrassed smile when he spoke--I needed those lips.

He gave a short laugh, sat on the bench and played. He played Mary Had a Little Lamb with just three fingers at first, but then he added chords with his left hand, and his right hand began moving up the piano, faster, adding new notes to the song, still keeping in the melody of the children's song. He stopped before he finished. "I don't know. I changed it," he shrugged.

"You fixed it," I said. He turned, smiled up at me and played with my fingers. "You should take lessons again. You have talent."

"Someday. Maybe."

"Someday? Maybe? What about at school?"

"There's not time in my schedule. I--"

"Time for champagne!" Jasper said, standing behind us with a shivering Alice. His arm was around her, yet she was still shivering. Apparently, he couldn't quite work miracles after all. "It's after 11:30."

He and Edward went to the kitchen as I pulled Alice toward the sofa, took her jacket off for her and wrapped the Chenille throw blanket around her. I rubbed her arms. "You're ice cold," I said. I curled up next to her, trying to warm her with my body heat. She stared at me.

"What?"

"You and Edward. Did you even know Jasper and I were back? We were in here for at least five minutes before Jasper said anything. We saw Edward playing, we saw you talking about something. Did you even hear us come in? We weren't even quiet."

"I didn't know."

She laughed and shook her head like she couldn't believe it. "You and Edward are so intense. Sometimes it's hard to be in the same room with the two for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It's like you're always staring at each other, even when you're on opposite ends of the room. And even if you're speaking to someone else. Intense." She nodded like she was agreeing with herself. Like that was the perfect word to describe us.

That's when I really looked at Alice and noticed how different she looked. Her hair had grown out some and was shaped more like a bob now. She appeared more mature, and with her full, red lips, she looked gorgeous, and…sultry. I reached up and tucked some hair behind her ear because she was so beautiful I had to touch her. The change had been a gradual one and since I saw her everyday it was no wonder I never really took note until now. Or maybe I did spend too much time looking at Edward, but that wasn't about to change. "It's his eyes," I said. "When he looks at me, it-it's hard to look away. But you and Jasper, your connection is strong, too."

"Yeah, Bella, but I've known Jasper since I was twelve and we started dating at fifteen. Our relationship has grown into what it is over years. You and Edward have been together for what? Not even three months?"

I had never thought about it before. With Edward and me, everything seemed so natural, I hadn't even noticed how quick it was, but she was right. What I felt for Edward, it seemed like we had been together forever. I could hardly remember what it was like when I didn't know him. I had subconsciously inserted him into every memory, as if he had always been with me.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, Bella. I'm happy for the two of you. I am. I just don't get it, that's all."

"Bella," Jasper said, and handed me a glass of champagne. I thanked him and just as I was about to take a sip, Edward stopped me.

"Wait," he said putting a hand on my arm. "I want to dedicate our first drink to Mrs. Hines and her ingenious marriage project." He placed the champagne bottle on the table and held his glass out to me.

"I'll drink to that," I said, and I did after clinking glasses with Edward.

"I have a question…" Edward said, sliding next to me on the sofa and slipping an arm over my shoulder. "Since I was the first person to kiss you, that must mean you've never had a New Year's Eve kiss."

"Only on the cheek," I told him.

"Well then, I'm going to have to make sure tonight's kiss is memorable."

I turned to look at him. "Can we start now?"

"Nope. You have to wait until midnight."

"Then why did you say anything? Don't tease me." I sipped my champagne so I had something to do with my lips. The bubbles tickled my nose and burned my throat, and still it wasn't enough to quiet my thoughts of Edward and his kiss. I drank it down quickly and he poured me some more.

"Which cheek did you get your New Year's kiss on and how old were you?"

"Sixteen," I said, "I don't remember which cheek. This boy in Phoenix just--"

"I didn't ask who it was," he said.

Since he wasn't going to kiss me until midnight, I had to look away from him. I glanced over at Alice who was sitting on the floor now next to Jasper and they were staring at each other. Just staring, not talking or anything. I wished I had a mirror so I could show her. Jasper brought his wrist up between them and they both checked the time.

I turned back to Edward and smiled in anticipation. His finger grazed my lips and I kissed it. Alice and Jasper started the countdown at twenty. Edward and I did not join in. He leaned toward me, brushing both my cheeks with the back of his hand, one after the other. He turned my chin to the right and when his lips touched my cheek, I had no idea where Alice and Jasper were in their countdown or if they had already finished. Edward's mouth opened as he slid his bottom lip slowly and lightly across my cheek bone and followed up with three excruciatingly slow kisses moving up toward my temple. I closed my eyes. Then he turned my chin the other way and repeated the same thing on that side. He whispered in my ear, "Did your New Year's kiss feel anything like that?"

"N-no."

His fingers found their way into my hair at the nape of my neck and his lips were right there, next to mine. So close. Almost touching. All I wanted to do was crush my lips to his, but he stopped me. "Don't move your lips," he whispered. "This is your kiss."

You do not know how entirely difficult it is to keep your lips still while the person you love is slowly and softly torturing you with his lips and tongue and all you want to do is plunge into him. First he kissed one corner of my mouth, then the other. The tip of his tongue licked all the way across my lips, top, then bottom. He took each lip into his mouth one at a time. My lips parted.

"That's right," he said. "Just like that. Keep still." I shook my head. "Keep still," he said again, "or I'll stop." Then he laughed because we both knew he wouldn't stop. But I held my lips still for him. He kissed once more, before his tongue rounded the inside of my lips, tickling. Then he was inside, his tongue nudging against my mouth to widen my lips further. I felt his tongue cross the edge of my teeth, and then on my tongue, lifting it with his, playing our tips together before entering further. Ohmygod, how was he doing this? I couldn't have held back any longer even if he'd threatened never to kiss me again. With a deep breath out, I attacked him with my mouth, moving up onto my knees, my hands in his hair at the back of his neck and pulling him toward me as if I was trying to put him into my mouth entirely, and then pushing him back with all of my weight until he was arched against the arm of the sofa. I kissed him and kissed him as if it were the last kiss. When I let him go, we were both panting and looking at each other and smiling. "That was…"

"I know," he said. "Let's go to my room."

He grabbed a candle and I blew out the rest before taking his hand and leading him to the stairs. That's when I noticed Jasper and Alice were no longer in the living room, and wondered how long it had been since they finished their countdown and left. At the top of the stairs, I turned and kissed him and said, "The champagne. I have to go to the bathroom." I let out a giggle, embarrassed that I had to go and had told him about it. As if girls didn't go to the bathroom or something. Or maybe it was just the champagne that made me giggle.

He didn't seem to notice my embarrassment. "Okay, meet me in my room."

He walked me into the bathroom at the top of the stairs across from the guest room and set the candle on the counter for me. After I was finished and washed my hands, I opened the bathroom door and Edward was standing right there. He pushed me back into the bathroom with his lips, his hands on my hips. "Emmett and Rosalie didn't stay out of my room," he said between kisses.

"The other room." I said between kisses.

"Alice and Jasper."

But suddenly, it no longer mattered where we were. "Your shirt," I said, tugging at it.

"Your shirt," he said. We decided to take them off at the same time and then we laughed and embraced as fast as we could. His skin against mine: perfection. He kissed me down my body and I kissed him down his. Kneeling, he turned me around and kissed his way up my spine, removed my bra, then kissed my back some more, side to side between my shoulder blades.

"Your wings," he said, then continued kissing me up to the back of my neck, pushing my hair over my shoulder. I had to lean against the counter just to stay on my feet. He turned me to face him again, removed my jeans and panties, lifted me onto the counter, and stepped between my legs. Kissing my neck and down my chest, he started unbuttoning his pants, then froze. "Oh no," he said against my breast.

"What?" I continued unbuttoning where his hands had left off. I unzipped but he stepped back.

"Oh no," he said again.

"What?!"

"No. No, no, no." He was reaching into all of his pockets. He took out his wallet and leafed through it. "I don't have…aw man…I don't have protection." He looked toward the door. "Damn Emmett. And I can't ask Jasper, he's..."

"He wouldn't have anything anyway."

"Why not? How do you know?"

"He and Alice, they don't…"

"Oh." He looked surprised. He hadn't known. Now I felt like I had betrayed Alice…and Jasper. But he didn't dwell on it. Other things were on his mind.

"I'll go to the store," he said.

"Will anything be open after midnight on New Year's?"

"No. You're right." His face, his eyes, his voice, all dripped disappointment. I made a decision and finished undoing his pants and grabbed for him.

"What are you…ohhh," he groaned. He dropped his head to my shoulder, his hands on the counter, holding himself up, and groaned again. "Bel…Bella…w-wait."

"Why?" I didn't stop. He groaned again.

"Bella. Bella, wait." His hand stopped me. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was gasping for breath.

"Its okay, Edward. It's all for you." I kissed him. I licked his earlobe "You."

"Oh my god." He opened his eyes. He gazed into mine. "You're so perfect." He kissed me, his hands at my waist, grabbing, holding. "It's just. It's New Year's Eve. I need all of you." He looked at me for a few seconds and then said, "Fuck it." He left, buttoning his pants on his way out, and closed the door behind him. I sat there, naked on the counter, wondering what I should do. Should I get dressed? His shirt was still on the floor with my clothes. And then I heard a screech come from another room and a loud thud against the wall. I still didn't know what to do with myself. I was really feeling my nakedness, totally exposed. But then Edward was back, smiling and wiggling a condom at me.

I laughed. "What was all that noise?"

"Rosalie screamed," he laughed, "and Emmett threw a book at me. He missed."

"I hope you didn't see anything too traumatizing."

"Nothing the vision in front of me hasn't already erased." His lips were on my neck and I grabbed the condom from him, ripped it open, tore into his pants for the second time, and put it on for him. "Now," I said, and he obeyed, pulling my hips toward him. We both gasped.

"Happy New Year, my Bella."

"Happy New Year, my hero." And then we both sort of laughed and moaned at the same time, until it was all just moans.

Since Edward's room was otherwise occupied and we didn't want to post-coital-cuddle on the bathroom floor, we dressed and returned to the living room sofa. Of course, Edward was wearing pants but no shirt. He lay behind me holding me tight, his cheek resting on top of mine. "I had no idea about Jasper and Alice," he said, "but if anyone could hold out for that long, it would be Jasper."

"Why do you say that?"

"J has this weird sixth sense. He is super attuned to other people's emotions. If Alice was hesitant or scared in any way, he would feel it. Man, if I had Jasper's sensibility, I don't know if we ever would have done it. If I could feel your fear that night in your room. I mean, I could tell anyway, but if I could feel it, or your pain, I wouldn't have been able to go through with it."

"Well you did," I said and turned and kissed his cheek. "That was some New Year's Eve kiss you gave me. How are you ever going to top that?"

"Oh, I never said I would top it. I said I would make it memorable."

"It worked. I won't be forgetting it."

"Me neither."

"Edward…what time is it?"

He reached over to the coffee table to check his phone. "1:36."

"I have to go home. I have to be home by 2:00."

"No." He squeezed me tighter.

"My dad will kill me if I don't come home."

"He won't. People always say that, but it's never true. Besides, there's too much snow. It's not safe."

"Okay, maybe he'll let me live, but he won't let me come over anymore."

"We'll take Emmett's Jeep." He turned my face toward his and kissed me deep. I easily forgot it was time for me to go home. I turned my whole body toward him and lifted my leg over his hip to feel him closer. I forgot where I was while we kissed. I forgot we were on Edward's sofa in his living room and that I had to go home.

"How can I possibly take you home?" he asked and then kissed me some more. "How am I supposed to come back here and sleep on this couch all by myself? Without you?" He kissed me again.

"I don't know." I didn't know. I wished I could stay with him in his arms all night long, but I just couldn't.

"Come on," he said. "The longer we wait the more impossible it becomes." He stood us both up and held onto me as he took Emmett's keys off the end table. "If he can take my room, I can take his Jeep. Man, I hope he likes doing laundry because he's going to spend all of New Year's Day cleaning up the mess he's making on my bed."

Outside my house, it wasn't any easier to leave Edward. We sat together in Emmett's big jeep, holding hands, just looking at my house, my destination. I thought about asking him to take me back to his house. I could ignore my curfew this one night. Ignore my dad.

I turned to Edward. "I can't go." My eyes were watering. I couldn't believe I was actually tearing up over leaving Edward. It was 2:00--morning would come soon enough and we could see each other again. But even with that rationalization, I couldn't get out of the car.

"Bella." He brought a hand to my face. "Are you crying?"

"No."

His thumb wiped a tear. "I've never seen you cry before."

"I'm not crying."

He leaned forward--kissed my tears. "Mmm, your tears taste good."

I laughed. He kept kissing at my face. Then he pulled back. "Your dad's inside. You have to go." He got out of the car first and opened my door for me. He walked me through the snow to my door and kissed me goodnight. "I'll see you in the morning, Bella. I love you."

I just stood there.

"Go on," he said.

"Come with me." He stared for a minute like he was actually considering it.

"I wish I could--you don't even know how bad. But I can't."

"You can just stay on the couch. I'll stay with you until my dad gets up and then I'll go to my room."

"Your dad would be okay with that? Coming down in the morning to find me on the couch?"

"No, he wouldn't. Just. You have to go first. I'm not going inside until you're gone."

"I have to make sure you get in safe."

"Look," I held up my key ring. "Keys. Door. I'm safe. You go first."

He headed for the Jeep.

"Edward?" He turned. "I love you, too."

He laughed at my delayed response. "I'm at the Jeep. You go in now."

I did as I was told. I went inside and shut the door behind me, only to go to the front window to watch him drive away. I slept on the couch for the rest of the night. For some reason, going to my room seemed even further away from Edward.


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