Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
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(Thump, Thump)
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do you hear it?
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(Thump, Thump)
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do you hear it?
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(Thump, Thump)
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the sound of my innocent heart
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(Thump, Thump)
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it beats only for you.
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Chapter II
like the sun, he calms my storm
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Prima was squirming nervously in her seat.
Don't get her wrong. The ride was nothing short of spectacular. She had never actually ridden in a spaceship. Her parents would always refuse her wishes to let her go with them. But it was not like Prima minded as much –she was okay as long as they brought home presents, all would be forgiven then.
Now, she was wondering –and scolding herself –why she didn't fight tooth and nail for the low chance that her parents would agree. This was the most fun she's had since ages.
"Everything alright over there?" Han asked, sparing Prima a quick glance.
"Oh!" she said, surprised and not expecting Han's voice to interrupt her line of thoughts. When she made no move to respond, Han questioned her again. This time she answered with a forced, "Yes!" to which Han just nodded in response.
It wasn't a lie. Prima was doing fine in her seat –the ride as she'd stated earlier was fun. However, she wasn't exactly telling the full truth either.
"So, we are going to where you live, sir Han?" she questioned, breaking her mind from distracting thoughts.
Han nodded from the pilot's seat, "I'm part of a group called 'The Resistance.' You ever heard of us?"
"Yeah! My mother would tell me stories." Proudly, the auburn-haired girl added, "She said that they were also part of it once!"
At this, the mood went silent. Han's face took on a faraway, sad look while Ben's face –who noticed his father's response –darkened.
Prima was not immune to the change. "I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"
Snapped out of the trance by Prima's naïve question, Han smiled, though it was forced. "Not at all. I just remembered your father back there."
Prima's eyes widened, "You knew my father?"
A nod. "Yeah. We were acquainted."
"My mother?" she asked, eyes still wide from the information.
Another nod. "She was nice, I suppose."
"Then, do you know why they left your group?"
Han stared at the girl, "They told you about that?"
Prima looked sheepish, "I always pushed them to tell me stories so there's not much about their life in the group I don't know.""
"Hmm," he mumbled, eyes turning thoughtful, "They ever told you about Jedi?"
Frowning, Prima shook her head. "What's that?"
Just as Han was about to answer, Ben –who was seemingly sleeping –chose to wake up and interrupt. "Basically, they're people who can wield the powers of the Force."
Prima tilted her head in confusion, not knowing what the Force was.
"...I think it's best if you hear the definition from Uncle Luke." was Ben's final reply, before he went back to sleeping yet again, not giving Prima the chance to question who 'Luke' was.
Hmph. Prima thought in childish agitation. Earlier, we got along so well, talking about everything.
Prima looked wistfully at Ben's closed eyes, "I wish we'd talk again." She murmured, too low for anyone to hear.
In the previous hours, Prima and Ben found each other to be compatible with their likes and dislikes, complaining about green vegetables, and nagging parents. Although the thought of her parents brought a slight pang to Prima's heart, somehow, talking to Ben eased it, just a little bit.
"Now's not the time to be thinking about that, Prima." she whispered, quietly scolding herself to get back to reality. "I've got lots of problems too!" she added, sighing when she was reminded of the fact.
What if the people didn't like her? What if they hated her? What if they were mean to her?
Prima had been pondering over and over again in her small, tiny mind about those thoughts. She wasn't used to being with a lot of people and she didn't know how to befriend a person. She had absolutely zero experience with her social skills, courtesy of her far away from civilization home.
She didn't want to come out as rude to anyone but she didn't exactly know if she would come out as rude, at all.
But still.
The possibilities of failure were endless. And thinking about it was certainly not making it any better for the poor girl. Silently, she scolded her parents for not preparing her for such a thing. Wasn't that what parents were for? Prepare their children for the future?
Prima sighed and then sighed again when she realized that she sighed. She was doing it a lot these past few days. She knew it wasn't ideal for a child such as her. Dimly, she reminisced on how her mother would tell her not to sigh but she would continue on anyway. If only her mother was here...
"We're here."
Oh no.
Alarmed, the small girl looked at Han to spot any hints of playfulness in his tone, swallowing the lump in her throat when she found none.
"You'll be fine." said a voice from behind her.
Prima spun to see Ben, a worried look on her pale face. "How do you know that?" she asked, forgetting about her slight anger for him.
Ben stared at Prima –at her unconsciously biting her lips, at her searching eyes and at her slumped, hopeless position.
She needed a genuine, optimistic answer.
Because of this, he thought about it for a moment. Finding none that would be most appropriate, he simply shrugged, although something akin to mischief was seen in his dark eyes, "Because I like you." he stated boldly, confidently, as if it was the most amazing thing he's ever said.
Cue Prima's excessive blushing.
"...Idiot," she muttered under her breath, knowing he was only probably joking. Over the time they spent together talking –before he began to sleep –Ben had taken it upon himself to start teasing her all the time. He seemed to be aware of her tiny, little, almost non-existent crush on him and was putting it to his advantage.
Prima shook her head hopelessly.
Why was she even in denial when earlier all she could think about was his smile?
She took a small peek, hoping not to get noticed this time, and watched his movements closely. Unluckily for her, it was quickly becoming clear to Prima that Ben noticed everything as he was now staring at her with an enlightened look in his eyes.
Oh.
She remembered why she was in denial now. It was because he did a major 360 degrees turn in the way he treated her, the more they talked and learned more about the other.
("So, you like me, huh?" he brought up suddenly, eyes staring at her in curiosity.
"W – what?! I – I don't!" she responded, her voice adopting a tone of slight offense to fool him.
"Then why were you blushing earlier?" he paused, "...Why are you blushing now?"
Prima racked her brain for answers, "It was from the heat and...and I was feeling a bit feverish." She touched her forehead, "I still am now."
Inwardly, she smirked at her full-proof response. Ha. Beat that, you arrogant boy!
"...Oh, okay. Sorry, I guess."
Relieved, she breathed out a sigh of thanks, "It's fine."
"..."
"..."
"...Liar," Ben said quietly with a grin, though he made sure she could hear.
Prima's only response was to blush. Again.)
Once again, she was broken from her stupor by Han who said, "Come on, kids. We don't have all day now."
Obediently, after making sure her still blushing face was down, Prima followed in Han's footsteps, inwardly crying when Ben moved to walk by her right side.
"I told you not to worry. They're all nice." he said as he watched the girl fiddle with her fingers.
"I'm not." was her quick, weak retort.
"Really? So why are you playing with fingers?"
"I'm nervous for a different reason." she answered with partial truth. Although she was anxious about meeting others and she knew she'd be even more nervous later, at the moment, she was more preoccupied with the fact that the boy she previously considered to be her "one" was walking very near her.
As if understanding, a smirk fell upon Ben's lips. "I get it now," he said simply to which she threw a 'please don't hurt me' look at him. She really didn't want to know what he was planning. She just wanted her arm fixed. Was that too much to ask?
Apparently yes. Because the next thing she knew, in a very obvious, not at all subtle action, he moved even closer.
All Prima could think about was that she was going to die. She was actually going to die. This boy was going to kill her. Her face couldn't take anymore blushing, and her heart, oh her poor heart, was beating so quickly.
This was how she was going to die. A horrible, intended heart attack by the boy who supposedly saved her from a life spent with loneliness.
Prima couldn't think properly. Literally, she could feel the heat radiating off his body and her heart –was it even possible? –sped even faster.
Prima may have been innocent in a lot of things.
But one thing her mother never let her live without is the knowledge of boys. Of crushes. Of love. Of romance. All of that her mother would never fail to teach her. And she would listen intently, like the good girl she was, and absorb every detail she could inside her brain.
She never knew it would feel like...like this. It...it confused her. Wasn't her heart going to explode from the quickness of its beating? Were the butterflies in her stomach ever going to stop churning whenever he was near her? Was she ever going to stop stuttering around him? Not to mention the blushing. Would her face ever go back to the way it was before –pale and not red?
She would probably never know the answer to her question. If her mother was here, maybe it was possible. Maybe she would know how to stop...crushing on Ben. But her mother wasn't here. And there was a great chance that she won't ever be. After all, her mother wouldn't even know where she was now.
The thought halted Prima in her footsteps, an epiphany forming in her brain.
What was she doing? In her coming here, no one would be there in the house. And if no one was in the house, then how would she know if her mother or father or brother ever came back?
("Stay here, baby, okay?")
Why did she leave? She promised her mother she would stay in the house and wait for them to come back. Her mother also promised that they would come back. Why wasn't she trusting her mother? Her mother always kept to her promises. Always.
(Her mother was not coming back. Her father was not coming back. Her brother was not coming back. No one was coming to help her.)
And yet, someone did.
If she was wrong in her assumption of someone coming... then maybe she wrong in her assumption of them not coming back?
"Prima?"
She looked at Ben, eyes suddenly worried and desperate, thoughts of crushes, hearts and romance gone from her panicked state. "I can't."
"What?"
"I can't come with you!" she choked out, "I was so stupid...agreeing so quickly to leaving. Please take me back! Please! My family –"
In her uncontrolled state, she didn't notice how Han had also stopped and came back, looking at her with something akin to pity.
"Prima –" he began,
"–No!" she cut him off, "This was a mistake. I shouldn't have left in the first place. I want to go back. Please, please let me go back!"
"We have to get your arm fixed, remember? Maybe after that, we can check –" Han tried to reason with the crying, wide-eyed girl.
But Prima was inconsolable. She wanted her mother more than anything, and she wouldn't be able to get her mother if she wasn't home.
"I have to go back. I don't care about my arm anymore. It doesn't hurt! It doesn't hurt!" she raised her broken arm up, wincing when she did, but continuing to do so anyway. "See? See? It's okay now! I'm fine! I am, I promise!"
Han came closer, gently taking hold of her shaking arms, "Calm down. You might just hurt your arm more. Let's think about this, okay? You're not thinking straight."
"I am." she slapped his arms away, "Don't touch me!" she yelled, all of a sudden, feeling mad and angry at the man who offered to take her away from the house. "It's your fault! It's all your fault!"
"Prima, calm down!" Ben cried out, and the sound of his outraged voice brought her back from her anger.
It was the first time she'd ever heard him yell so loud. Always, he would speak to her in a gentle tone, especially when he was comforting her before. The shock she gained from the sound of his angered voice was enough –albeit barely –to get her mind in the right track.
"I'm sorry..." she cried, "I just want to go home."
"Yeah? Well, you can't. Would you look at your arm?" she did so, and gasped when she saw its disfigured form, "It's probably even worse than before. We need to see a doctor."
"But...but my mother –"
" –Your mother wouldn't want to see you hurt, would she?"
Prima shook her head, shame and guilt surging through her body at her unnecessary outburst.
"So then, let's get it seen by a doctor. After that, we'll talk about going back to your home." He walked closer to her, "Is that alright with you?" he asked with a mocking tone.
Prima flinched at his voice but nodded anyways.
What had she done now?
Ben was mad.
At her.
He was mad at her.
She was wrong.
She was wrong and she overreacted, and was so insensitive, so selfish, thinking only of herself.
She chanced a glance at Ben, and his eyes, seething with anger.
She wanted to apologize. But how? She searched her inner mind for a good way, for a proper apology, but didn't find anything right.
Han, noticing the turn of moods, stepped in. "Let's go then. For real, this time." he commanded in a stern voice.
And nobody replied.
Instead, all chose to just answer through action, letting silence take over their surroundings as they stepped away from the ship.
It was still silent when they were greeted by the guards, welcoming Han and Ben with smiles. Prima, on the other hand, stood awkwardly behind Han, using his height to shield her from the view of everyone.
The guards who saw her gave her confused looks, but then ignored her when Han said she was with him.
"Is Leia in her office?" he asked a guard who nodded firmly in response.
To Prima, as they continued their trek to a certain woman's office, it became clearer and clearer that Han was respected highly by the people here. They greeted him respectfully and in turn, he did the same to them.
Ben was different –the greetings were more casual and free. And watching him interact with others, with small nods and miniscule smiles, made her feel out of place, especially since he was mad at her.
Prima wanted to apologize but it seemed to her that it was not the right time yet, as both of them were busy getting hounded on by their peers and comrades.
Disregarding the two boys, Prima decided to focus on the environment she was currently in. Bluntly speaking, it simply knocked the wind out of her. Luscious, green things surrounded the ground –grass, she remembered her mother would use to say –to the clear, sparkling, water that could be seen here and there.
And then there was the sky. Prima had never seen anything quite like it. She was baffled that such scenery even existed. Her home wasn't bad, to say the least –with white crystals, otherwise known as snow falling from the always dark sky, their land was a place filled with the color white. She adored playing in the snow and making different things with it.
There was also the issue of so many people. One of the reasons why Prima was such a social recluse was because there was no one around her home to talk with. But here... here she saw various men wearing bright orange jumpsuits while some wore clothes with neutral colors –brown, most often –like the ones Han was wearing.
Prima didn't forget the ships too. Many of them were seen on standby on the cemented ground, but there were some which were actually flying. She was awed, watching the planes fly and zoom around the sky.
"Prima," she heard someone say.
In response, she turned to see that it was Han, and they were standing outside a wooden door. "This is Leia's office. After we tell her about your situation, I'm going to get you to the infirmary."
She nodded in consent, mildly curious about who this 'Leia' was. "Who's Leia, sir Han?" she asked, finally giving in.
Han scrunched his eyebrows tight in confusion at her question, "Haven't I told you?" Prima shook her head. "Oh. Well, Leia's my wife."
Prima felt her eyes bulge out from their sockets. Not literally of course, but she was quite shocked. "Really?!"
Han nodded absentmindedly but Prima noticed how his eyes softened at the thought of her, "Yes, yes. She is."
Prima was still digesting the information when she thought of a certain, ebony-haired boy that was currently standing beside her. Temporarily, she forgot how Ben was still mad at her and gasped in shock, "She's your mother, Ben?!"
Ben shrugged apathetically, still cold. "Yes," he answered simply.
With his chilly response, she was reminded of her stupidity, and looked down immediately. "Oh," she said glumly.
Prima was just about ready to get down on her knees to apologize. She didn't like how Ben ignored her. She didn't like how he looked at her with silent, furious eyes. She didn't like his disinterested posture whenever she was near him.
Prima wanted –dare she say it –the teasing, mischievous Ben back. She wanted the Ben who teased her and made her blush and made her heart race and made her thoughts think only of him.
The door opened and Prima was saved from her inner ramblings.
"Han!" said a woman in her late 40's. Her brown hair was intricately braided into two buns and pinned to two separate sides of her head.
The familiarity of the woman towards Han, and Han's gentle smile at the sight of her lead Prima to only one conclusion.
This woman was Leia.
I have a question.
Is the term spaceship right? To be honest, I don't know what to call the flying things. Spaceship? Ship? Plane?
Help me please.
Also, 75 follows for one chapter? It's the first time I've actually gotten that kind of response. I am ridiculously overwhelmed. Thus, the fast update. I feel horrible leaving you guys without an update when you people deserve it. You guys make me so happy! Thank you!
Reviews would be loved and cherished and treasured and all that jazz.
