A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. I do appreciate the time you take with them! Thank you for the recs, too! That means a lot to me.


The Path We Chose

Chapter 14: Resurrecting Hope

The one problem with sleeping naked and tight against another naked body for hours and hours on end, is that you both perspire. We woke up just before 5:00 AM to a pool of sweat that had gathered between our bellies, and sheets so wet beneath us I almost wondered if I had peed the bed. I was surprised we could even disengage ourselves, we were that sticky. It might seem like an embarrassing situation, but since his baby was already growing inside me, and he had seen and kissed parts of my body I couldn't even see, I found it more funny than embarrassing.

He let me use his shower first, but grabbed my hand before I entered. "You're welcome," he said. "And, thank you."

"What?"

"You kept thanking me in your sleep," he said. "You must have said, thank you Edward, twenty times. I wanted to thank you, too." He kissed my lips then my sweaty neck.

After my shower, he took his and I sneaked back to my room, wrapped in a towel and carrying yesterday's clothes.

We still had an hour before it was time to leave for school. I made pancakes. Stacks and stacks of pancakes. And it wasn't until then that I remembered the mess of soup and pots and dishes we had left for little elves to clean up. So I made even more pancakes. I had twenty split between two serving plates (not including the two I ate while cooking-I had slept through dinner, after all). Carlisle and Esme ate with us at the round kitchen table. They didn't say anything about our being locked away in Edward's room for sixteen hours, which made it difficult for me when I thanked Esme for cleaning our mess. I didn't want to be the first to bring it up. Esme said it was no bother.

"Bella didn't feel well yesterday," Edward said. "She needed rest and food. She was so tired, she could barely walk on her own." He drew his hand down my hair, then tucked some stray strands behind my ear. I was reminded of how I hadn't let him let go of me at school and realized that he had practically carried me out to the car. I had no recollection of my feet touching the pavement.

Carlisle reached over and felt my forehead and my cheeks. "Have you seen a doctor yet?" I shook my head. "I'm going to make you an appointment with the best obstetrician here in Forks. Her name is Dr. Denali. She is a very gentle lady and will answer any questions you have."

"Thank you," I said and looked down. I knew that would continue to be the most frequent phrase leaving my lips for quite some time.

"Bella," Carlisle's hand was on mine, holding my fingers, "you do not have to feel like a burden or that you are unworthy of any of this." Esme took Carlisle's other hand in a proud gesture as Carlisle continued. "Your baby is our grandchild, and Edward loves you. You are a part of our family now and we help family. You may thank us if it makes you feel better, but it is never necessary."

Edward started tracing lines up and down my back with his fingers letting me know he agreed. Esme lifted a hand to her son's face, her other hand still in Carlisle's. We were all sitting around the table touching in some way and I wasn't sure anybody noticed but me. I smiled on the outside, but on the inside, a part of me was sad. I was happy to hear those words from Carlisle, but at the same time, I wished they had come from my own father.

"Thank you," I said again because I couldn't not say it. "Thank you for the pancakes, Bella," Esme said,. She had reclaimed both of her hands and was patting the corners of her mouth with her napkin.

Carlisle said they were delicious, pulling his hand away from mine to finish eating. Then it was just Edward's hand on my back, not moving, just there, touching. I smiled at him because I loved that he always felt the need to touch me just as much as I desired his touch. He smiled back.

After my good long sleep, tucked away with Edward, school was easier to get through, even if I couldn't have Edward at my side for most of the day. I was able to keep my head up and even pay attention in class. Edward met me in the hall at the end of every class and asked me too many times throughout the day how I was doing. I had to snap at him to get it through his head that I was fine. That, of course, made him doubt me all over again. Yesterday had scared me. I was afraid of growing too dependent on Edward. I needed to stand on my own feet like I always had. At lunch he gave me space, but brought the back of my hand to his lips to let me know he was there. I did the same for him.

It was the class we most looked forward to that became the hardest to get through-Health. Even though it was our favorite class because it was the only one we shared, the curriculum had turned to safe sex, and we were stuck watching movies about teen pregnancy, statistics (apparently, that's what we were), different forms of birth control, and the promotion of abstinence. Edward didn't just hold my hand under the desks as he usually did. Instead he pulled my chair as close to his as possible and let me rest against him while he caressed my arm. It made us both feel better and we didn't care who was watching. Jessica kept sneaking glances at us over her shoulder. When my eyes caught hers again, I smiled at her and waved, and Edward kissed my head. She stopped looking after that.


In the evenings, after my homework was done, I helped Esme with dinner. She insisted that it wasn't necessary, but I could tell-even if it exhausted me-that my help left her with more energy.

"Esme?" I said, stirring her Alfredo sauce over the stove. We were cooking for three. Carlisle was at the hospital.

"Hmm?" She sprinkled some rosemary into the pot.

"Are you feeling better?"

"What do you mean?"

"About our decision-mine and Edward's. My mom hated the choice we made and it seemed to make you very sad."

She lowered the heat on the stove and took my hand. "Come here, Bella." She brought me to the kitchen table and sat across from me-leaned forward a little, her arms resting against the table. "Your decision never made me sad. I certainly had to mourn for your future and Edward's future, so changed. I know that I could have helped-prevented this-but I didn't. I chose not to and it was a conscious choice and I can't seem to forgive myself." She looked down at her hands. In that moment she seemed so young. She was young, but she seemed even younger…younger than me.

"How could you have helped?"

She took a deep breath and then looked over at me again. "I saw the two of you getting closer…spending so much time in Edward's room." Her eyes shifted away for an instant and then they were back, as green as Edward's. "I knew your mother wasn't a constant in your life anymore and I wondered if you were on birth control. I thought about talking to you about it on more than one occasion, but decided to wait until Edward opened up to me about your relationship. It was a foolish decision on my part, knowing what I know-going through what I've been through." Her eyes were watering. I hoped she wouldn't cry. I would have no idea what to do if she cried. Would I hug her? Take her hand? Rub her arm? What do you do to comfort the mother of your boyfriend? As it was, I wasn't even sure of what to say.

"Esme," I said and then paused, trying to come up with the right words-anything that would make sense. "I don't see how that was your responsibility or why you should take any of the blame for what happened."

"Well, I do. But hindsight never helps. What's done is done. Now, we just have to make the best of things." She smiled and I was more than relieved to see it. "As far as your decision to keep the baby goes, I think it was the right one. You know, when Carlisle and I first learned I was pregnant, both of our parents were pressuring us into abortion. Even my parents, and they were Christians. People go to extremes in situations like ours-when they feel out of control and lives are changed completely and unexpectedly. It takes time to adjust. Your mom may understand eventually."

"I'm glad you didn't listen to your parents."

She laughed. "Me too, and I never once regretted my decision."

"Were you scared?"

"I had never been more terrified. But I got through it, didn't I? Carlisle and I both did. You will surprise yourself, Bella. Once you see all that you are truly capable of you will wonder why you were ever scared in the first place." She came over and lifted me into a hug. "Come on," she said, guiding me back to the stove. "Let's finish dinner."


Thursday at lunch, Edward and I walked hand-in-hand into the cafeteria to see Emmett resting his head down on the table. As we took our seats, I gave Emmett a closer look. His arms were folded under his head and his eyes were closed-his breathing deep and steady. "Why is Emmett sleeping?"

"He pulled an all-nighter cramming for his Organic Chemistry exam," Rosalie said.

"He studies?"

"He studies like he has OCD when he has a test," she said. "He's so focused that if I say anything to him, he doesn't even hear me."

That was news to me. I hadn't even thought he needed to study.

"Look at this, Bella," Alice said. She reached over and put her hand on Emmett's arm.

"It's insane," I said. "He's the only person I know who can wear short sleeves in this freezing weather."

"No, I mean, did you see him move?" Alice asked.

"He moved?"

"No, that's my point. Now watch this." She took Jasper's hand and put it on Emmett's arm. Emmett's elbow nudged against Jasper's hand, but he didn't wake up. Alice laughed.

"Edward, try it," Alice said. She was getting a huge kick out of this.

Edward laughed and shook his head, but played along anyway-touched Emmett's arm. Emmett remained still. Alice laughed harder and told Jasper to touch him again. Emmett nudged against Jasper's hand again, and then we were all laughing.

Rosalie pulled herself together to say, "Stop torturing my boyfriend, Alice!" Then she kissed her boyfriend. It was the second kiss that woke him up and he was kissing her back. That made Alice's laughter start all over again.

"Have you been drinking, Alice?" I asked.

She shook her head, then smiled at me. "You look better, Bella."

"You do look better," Edward said. And then he leaned to my ear. "Eat," he whispered.

Emmett pulled his lips away from Rosalie. "Edward, you know, we need to talk."

"Later."

"You may delay but time will not," Emmett said to him.

"Emmett, later," Edward said again. I looked at him and he shook his head.

"Why do you think people procrastinate?" Emmett asked no one in particular. "Do you think it's because they're afraid of succeeding? I've heard that people are afraid to succeed because of all the responsibility it brings. I think it makes sense. It's so much easier to wish and dream than to actually reach a goal, raise expectations and your accountability to others."

"Seriously, man?" Jasper said. "This is how you wake up?"

"What do you think, Edward?" Emmett said. "Do you think people procrastinate out of fear?"

"All right, Emmett. I think sometimes it's out of fear. But people are multifaceted. Sometimes there may be reasons behind it that you have absolutely no idea about." He pointed at Emmett when he said, you.

"What are you trying to say?" Emmett asked. His tone of voice was different. It wasn't his usual playful tone that he took on during a mind-wrestle. He sounded accusative and…offended?

I interrupted then. Maybe it was an attempt to ease the weird tension between Edward and Emmet: maybe it was an attempt to save Edward from a strange and drawn out mind-wrestle; maybe I just wanted to give Emmett a taste of his own medicine. "Emmett, how can the reason people procrastinate possibly be about fear if fear doesn't exist? Didn't you tell me once that you're not even convinced fear is real?"

"Ah, B," Emmett said, "You're fuckin' awesome!"

And that successfully ended the procrastination conversation.


My dad was in uniform when he came by the Cullens' after school. Standing in the foyer, he handed me that familiar manila envelope, more tattered than I had left it. "Did you even read this?"

I shook my head.

"Bella, something like this, it's very expensive. How did you expect to afford a lawyer?" I didn't have an answer for him. I had never planned on going through with it. What would he say if I told him it had only been a threat? I thought about what Esme had said to me about people going to extremes in times of desperation. I was guilty of that, too. We all were. Looking at him now, I felt awful for what I'd put him through. He looked like he hadn't slept since I'd last seen him. His eyelids looked as though they were caving in-like it was a struggle for him to keep them open.

"I phoned Renee, she's not happy about any of this. She's downright furious, still, but she has agreed not to force you into or out of anything. We were both wrong. She may not see it, but I do. Bella, you're my daughter and I love you. You're welcome to come home with me without worrying about being sent to Florida."

I thought about what he was offering. Go back home. Back with him-life, regular again. Except it wouldn't be regular because everything was different now.

"Is this what you want, Bella? Do you want to live here with them?"

I didn't know if this was what I wanted. Five days ago it was my only choice. I had never wanted to leave my dad or move out, but I had to. Now, he was letting me choose. "I don't know if it's what I want, but Edward, the baby and me all in the same house seems like the best idea."

He nodded. "I thought that's what you would say. I brought you something." He went back outside and returned with my down mattress and comforter. My eyes widened when I saw it. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so big. I helped him carry it upstairs and he set it up on my new bed for me. Once the bed was remade, we both sat down on it, all the fluff molding around us. He was delighted to see that my room was separate from Edward's. I was delighted that he was here bringing me something he knew I loved-something I hadn't even paused long enough to miss. It was touching and sweet and showed me without words that he had accepted my decision. I gave him an appreciative hug. He said he wanted to talk to me about his intentions the night my mom decided to take me to Florida.

"I know your mother well. Maybe better than anybody. I was aware of the depths she would dive to if she thought she was doing the right thing for you. I also knew you had your rights, as you said, and that no doctor would take your baby without your consent. While you were outside with Edward that night we were all here, Renee was adamant about taking you with her and talking some sense into you. She had me convinced she could do it and that in the long run you would be happier for it.

"I had failed you. I couldn't trust my instincts anymore with you. So much of what I do at work involves instinct and gut feelings, and I couldn't use any of that when it came to my own daughter. Renee had raised you this far and you hadn't faltered until you moved here with me." I flinched at the word "faltered". "So I agreed that you could go with her to Jacksonville for your, um, your abortion. She said you would need her more than ever after that. This was before we knew what you and Edward had decided.

"Carlisle was politely disagreeing. He insisted that things were not as impossible as we made it sound. That they had both been where you are now, and they made it through. Renee's argument was that they were the exception, not the rule, and our daughter would not be an experiment in sociology. It wasn't until you and Edward returned to the house holding hands, that I knew you were resolute in your decision, but Renee couldn't see it. She still thought if she could get you to Jacksonville, talk to you, she could make you understand.

"That night, after you went to bed, I questioned our rash decision but she convinced me again that you were too young to know yourself and that she could help you see that-you would understand. She loves you, Bella. She's protective of you and she thought she was in the right. Trust me, Charlie, she said, I know what I'm doing. I weakened, Bella, and I am sorry. Only one other time in my life did I weaken like that and it was when Renee left me and took you, my only daughter, with her." He stood up tall and tugged at the corner of his mustache. "Both of the weakest points in my life involved you, and for that I am sick with myself. It won't happen again. I'll be here for you. I will help you financially, and you will get through school and even college if that's where you're headed. You have your college fund, and these days, many colleges have daycare right on campus. It won't, perhaps, be your ideal college or the great one you would have made it to if things were different but it's not impossible." He returned to sit by my side on the bed and put an arm around me. I leaned in. "Bella, all I ask is that you not stay away. Come and see me every once in a while. And I want you to know that you are always welcome to move back anytime. Your room isn't going anywhere."

That's when I noticed how utterly alone he was. I had left him all alone in his house. I promised him then that I would visit. We could make it a weekly thing. As we headed out of my room, I dropped the manila envelope into the trash can by my door.

Edward was at the bottom of the stairs. He stiffened when he saw my dad, looking for something in his face. He found it and relaxed.

"Edward," my dad said, and hugged him. "You are good to my daughter. Thank you." Then he pulled away, his fatherly expression back, eyes less droopy, stronger. "Don't hurt her."

Edward and I were still in shock when my dad left. We stared at the door then we turned to each other, smiling, and embraced. It took me about three minutes before I decided to call my mom. The scene I had just witnessed gave me the confidence I needed. I ran to my room alone to make the call.

She didn't say hello when she answered. "What do you want? I'm running late." I wondered what she could possibly be running late for. Did she get a job since last we spoke?

"N-nothing, I just thought…I thought we could talk." I sat down on my bed-chewed on my finger nail.

"I really don't have time to get into it with you right now. You know how I feel. I've told you over and over again throughout your life what a mistake it was when I got married so young, and you, you're having a baby. One day you're going to realize what your life could have been and it will be too late. You made your choice. You can stumble your own way through it."

"Mom."

"I have to go."

"I won't call again," I said, and hung up by hurling my phone across the room as hard as I could. I worried more about the dent I'd made in the wall than the phone.

I walked to Edward's room. His head was bent over a text book on his desk when he turned to look at me, eyes expectant, waiting for me to talk. I just shook my head and he came to me quickly and hugged me close. I hugged him back.

"I think I broke my phone." I held him tight just in case he thought about releasing me. I didn't understand why we couldn't stay like this all the time. Did we really need food and school and other people? "And I dented the wall."


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"You may delay but time will not" -Benjamin Franklin, quoted by Emmett.