AN: So the first chapter is here. There could be some pretty bad mistakes and awkward senetences, because English isn't my native tounge, and I don't have a Beta, but i hope you'll like it all the same.
Since I don't want to cause any confusion, here are the ages and relations between characters:
Isabella Marie Swan (22) dating Edward Anthony Cullen (24)
Rosalie Lilian (Swan) Cullen (30) (Bella's Half-sister) married to Emmet Andrew Cullen (33) (Edward's brother)
Mary Alice Cullen (22) (Edward and Emmett's sister) dating Jasper William Hale (34)
Carlisle Ellard Cullen (58) married to Esme Claire Cullen (58) (Parents of Emmett, Edward and Alice)
Charlie Swan (Bella and Rose's father)
Veronica Reynolds (Rose's mother)
Renee Dwyer (Bella's mother)
I believe those ar enough, for now.
Chapter One
The Break Down
Edward's POV
"Edward?... EDWARD!"
"What?" I woke up with a start and a little disorientated. Then I recognized the uncomfortable armchair I was in and remembered where I was.
I was in Forks Community hospital ICU, holding Bella's left hand, as I had been for the last three days. I had refused to leave Bella's side, because she was more important to me than anything else in this world, and I had to be with her, holding her hand, as I did now, when she woke up.
"For the hundredth time – go home!" Carlisle said. "Do I have to remind you that you were in that accident too and have, um… well, now, severe concussion? You're neglecting very strict instructions from your doctor, even if the doctor is me, about calm, rest, and good nights sleep." He said with pure disapproval in his eyes. "That chair you're in is hardly the place for restful and healthy sleep. You have to disconnect yourself from all this stress – for at least a few hours. Besides your mother's worried."
Oh, right! Esme came home yesterday night. Why hadn't she come to the hospital? I mean, she would want to see Bella, wouldn't she?
I stroked Bella's cheek, sighing. She looked so peaceful – you'd think she was just asleep, but I knew better – she always talked in her sleep. Now, there wasn't even the slightest sound for the past three days. "You know I can't leave her. I need to be here when -" Carlisle stopped my protest by raising his palm.
"Again, she's not waking tonight. She's still in the drug induced coma." I opened my mouth to object, but Carlisle's face turned angry, and he all but hollered at me.
"GO HOME! I'm beginning to question your common sense. Have you looked in the mirror? You haven't slept for more than a few hours in the past three days, nor have you showered, the nurses started to complain that you smell. You're barely coherent from the sleep deprivation. In your condition, this can be extremely dangerous. I believe you can guess what she'll think if she sees you like this." He said motioning to Bella's still form.
I hung my head and sighed.
Of course Carlisle was right. As always. I looked awful, and my head didn't feel very good either – I had major headache – and I had to admit, I did feel a little nauseated. I was surprised that Carlisle hadn't strapped me to a hospital bed himself for my negligence when it came to my own health – and yes, I knew exactly what Bella would think if she saw me like this – she would think it's her fault and blame herself. We both knew one other inside out, and each of us loved the other more than anything and cared for the other more than for ourselves.
You must not let her see you like this. I scolded myself.
She'd have enough to worry about when she got up. Like getting better for one, rather than me messing with my health. And knowing Bella, that'd be exactly what she would do – blame herself for my condition.
I guess I had to go home, for Bella's sake. I was willing to do anything to protect Bella's health, both, physical and mental.
"Please, be reasonable." Carlisle continued, frowning.
"Yeah, you're right. But are you absolutely sure that nothing will happen? I know you said that there's no more threat to her life, but I just need the reassurance. Can I really leave her alone? I wouldn't be able to bear if something hap-p-" My voice broke. I couldn't bare the thought that something might happen while she was alone. I knew that I would be no help, but I already witnessed her die once…
Carlisle gave me a sad, but warm smile, that said I didn't have any thing to worry about. Well, not until she woke up.
"I am hundred and twenty percent sure, Edward. Besides, you're not leaving her alone. I'll be here all night long."
Although I knew he was right, I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the wrong places. What if something did happen again and I was at home, with no way of telling her that I loved her for the last… "Don't you even dare to finish that thought." I murmured.
"You'll come back to me, won't you?" I asked her softly, before leaning over and kissing her forehead.
"Of course she will. There's no major threat to her life any more." Carlisle said again, for probably the 20th time in the last 30 hours or so, and squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. I hadn't even noticed when he had moved away from the door.
His words made me feel a little better… It wasn't that I ever doubted Carlisle's judgment, professional or otherwise, but the uneasy feeling still hadn't left me. It was there, in the pit of my stomach, for the better part of the last three days, like there was something I didn't know.
"Can you call Alice or Emmett to come and get me?" Emotion, that I couldn't really pinpoint, crossed his face at the mention of Alice's name. Concern and anger? But he composed himself fairly quickly.
"I already did." Carlisle answered a little hesitant. I frowned.
"Well… Actually there never was a chance that I would have let you stay here tonight." He explained.
I gave him a glum look. But to tell the truth, I was surprised that he hadn't made this decision earlier. My health was as much important to him as Bella's. I was his son and he considered Bella to be his daughter ever since she began to be a constant guest at our house, with her being Alice's best friend and all.
"I'll leave you to privacy." Carlisle said pulling me out of my thoughts. "I'll tell you when Emmett's here." With that he left me alone with Bella.
"I miss you so much, baby. Please come back soon." I whispered, looking at her ghostly pale face. Oh, how I missed the colour in her cheeks.
I remembered how Bella came into my life. She moved to Forks 7 years ago – two years after her mother got remarried. The husband was abusive and her mother did nothing to protect Bella, so Bella was removed from her mother's care and her dad got full custody.
She was a freshman just like Alice – my little, sometimes unbelievably annoying sister – and made fast friends with her, though they were complete opposites. Alice was always hyper, loved to shop and party, while Bella was calm, modest and shy.
Sometimes Bella would spend nights at our house – her dad Charlie was the Chief of police, and he didn't want his fifteen-year-old daughter to be alone in their house when he had night shifts, and Alice came up with i her oppinion the totaly awesome idea of her best friend spending those nights in our home.
Charlie Agreed to in because he and Carlisle were really good friends ever since high school, so he knew that Bella would be completely fine.
Everyone in our family fell in love with Bella and we all considered her part of our family in no time. What was there not to love about her? She had a great sense of humor, was loyal, loving and beautiful. I fell for her the moment when she first stepped over our threshold.
It was the third week of my junior year – I hadn't been in school, yet, due to my own stupidity during summer holidays – I had decided to try Emmett's motorcycle. Without his knowledge, of course. But damn how I love that thing – beautiful, red, completely new Honda Shadow Spirit 750 (Picture on profile). And since I didn't really know how to ride a motorcycle the result was concussion, two broken metatarsus and three broken toes … And a broken right arm. At least my fingers were fine. Esme would have thrown a fit if something was to happen to my fingers and I wouldn't be able to play piano as good as before. As if Carlisle wasn't enough!
And Emmett nearly beat me to pulp, because I had scratched his baby's paint job and given the gas tank a little dent…
Alice came in to the living room where I was lying on the sofa and surfed through channels trying to find something worth watching.
"Hey, biker-boy!" She greeted me with a smug grin.
I turned to throw her a natty come-back, but I was mesmerized by the stare of the deepest chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen, set in a perfect heart-shaped face, which was surrounded by wavy, rich brown, waist-length hair.
As she met my stare, she blushed a deep red colour. As of now rich crimson is going to be my favorite colour, I thought.
Those eyes belonged to Bella and truth be told, at that exact moment I fell for her, for all eternity.
I smiled at the memory and stroked Bella's cheek. What I wouldn't give for her to wake up, and have her blush, as she did every time I said that I loved her.
It wasn't until the next year - my senior prom, to be exact - that I finally asked Bella out. I would be going away to college in September so the prom would be the last chance for me to ask her out, before someone else did.
I had waited so long simply because I was intimidated by the thought that Bella would reject me – she'd always avoid me when she'd come by. I thought that she disliked me or something. But it turned out to be complete opposite – she really liked me and was afraid that if I would find out I would make fun of her or something because she was 2 years younger.
Ever since that first date we were joined by the hip. Of course until I had to go to college. But we made it work. Regular phone calls and occasional weekend meetings, that weren't too hard to arrange since I was going to college in Seattle majoring in music with a minor in teaching.
Then in the middle of her junior year, while I was at Seattle, her father was killed in firing at the local B&B. Few months after that were the worst in my life. 'Untill three days ago' I added to myself.
Since Charlie had had the full custody, my parents were able to become her guardians.
So in a way Bella actually was Carlisle's daughter.
I heard the door open and close "Emmett's here."
"She's been through so much already, Carlisle." I said not even looking at him. "Why do these things keep happening to her? To us?" I heard Carlisle sigh. Of course, he had no answer to that. No one had.
"I'll be back tomorrow morning." I whispered to Bella and kissed her forehead again.
"There is no haste, son. I know you don't want to be away from her, but I assure you she'll be fine. Um…" he eyed Bella's broken frame worriedly. "As fine as she could possibly be in this situation. Take your time and collect your thoughts." He patted my shoulder and went to the door. "Emmett is waiting for you in the Mercedes in the employee parking."
I lingered at Bella's bed. It was so hard for me to see Bella like this – bruised from head to toe, wrapped in gauze and braces, hooked up to all those machines, tube in her throat, an IV in her upper palm… I muttered 'I love you', I brushed my lips against hers gingerly and stalked out of the room.
I couldn't help but wonder what had she done to deserve this? Why was I able to walk away practically unharmed, yet she had to struggle for her life for the past tree days? Though, Carlisle said the crisis was over, she had to stay in ICU for a while – she still needed monitoring 24/7, partly the reason being coma, as, also, mine and Carlisle's overprotective-ness.
I tried very hard not to think about that night – even when the police came to question me about it, I told them every detail I could remember, but in my mind I saw it like one of those 3D movies, I couldn't grasp that it really had happened, and that I was responsible for Bella's condition.
Emmett was standing, back pressed against the car. As soon as I was in his arms reach, he pulled me into a hug.
"How are you holding?" He asked, when he finally released me from his death grip, worry thick in his voice.
"I've been better. How's Rosalie?" I asked to distract him. Although being serious wasn't in Emmett's nature, sometimes he was too observant, and right now I wasn't up for his interrogation.
I'll talk, when I will be ready. I still had to wrap my head around the events of the last tree days. I needed to put everything in the right order and I had to see that Bella was awake and relatively fine, before I'd even try to think of the night as a memory – one that I was at fault - and only then I could make myself talk about it more, rather than just describe the technical specifics to the police.
I think I'd go mad if I had to accept that I had broken or even destroyed the Bella we knew and loved, the Bella that was the air to my lungs, blood to my heart, and water to my brain.
I really wished that the blow I received to my head had developed a concussion with retrograde amnesia, but I wasn't that lucky.
"She's been better." Emmett threw my words back at me. "She had some crampink due to the stress, so doctor put her on bed rest for at least two weeks, and as much as I'd like to stay with her, I have to work, so she'll, umm, we'll be staying at mom's for a while." When it came to Rosalie, he was just like me with Bella – overprotective, and worried sick about the tiniest little thing.
I only nodded, slowly slid into the back of Carlisle's Mercedes and lied down. Emmett was back to his goofy self, blabbering about something while we drove to my parents' house. I guess he tried to take my mind off everything, but I tuned him out.
The car was gently swaying and now I really began to feel my sleepless nights.
*-*-*-*
I heard a knock. It broke me out of my trance. The last thing I was able to remember was getting in Carlisle's car – with Emmett on the wheel. How the hell did I get here?
I was in the shower, fully dressed, cold water pouring down on me. I began to wonder, firstly, how long was I standing here? And secondly, why was the water cold?
"Edward?" Esme's soft voice called from behind the bathroom door. "Are you ok?"
Was I ok? I had no answer for that question. I mean, physically yes – apart from my broken arm and ribs, few bruises and scratches and a headache – I was fine, but I felt like I was dead, like my heart had stopped beating three days ago.
"You've been in the shower for longer than an hour!" Esme said trough the bathroom door in a worried voice.
Well, at least that answered one of my questions. Then I grasped that I must have forgotten to turn the water heater on and was freezing. What do you expect from standing under constant flow of ice water for an hour? My clothes were soaked, and I was shivering.
At that moment my legs failed me, and I slid down on the shower cubicle floor – my careful self-composure, I had managed to keep for three days, left me – cold water still poring down on me, but now I was shivering not only from cold, but also from the sobs building up in my chest. I hadn't been crying, not even once, since the crash, because, I knew, I had to stay strong for Bella. But now, when I wasn't near her, tears began to rush down my cheeks.
"Edward?" Esme's voice rose an octave, panic seeping in. "Edward, I'm coming in." She said as she opened the bathroom door and stepped in. "Oh, Edward!" She rushed down to my side to turn the water off. She tried to jerk me up, but I didn't move. My mind screamed at me to get up and stop upsetting my mother, but my muscles decided to stay unresponsive.
"Emmett! Jasper! I need some help here." Esme called out in hallway. She took a towel and wrapped it around me rubbing my shoulders. I saw that her face was full of apology. Apology for what?
"What is it, Esm-" Jasper asked, still in the hallway, halting to an abrupt stop as he noticed me. "Oh, SHIT!"
I didn't know how I looked like, but I was pretty sure I wasn't far from a state of an ice-cube. Not that I cared right now.
"Emmett, help me get him up." Jasper commanded. "He's hypothermic. We need to warm him up, ASAP! Let's take him to the bed." They took me by my upper arms; Emmett put his arm around my waist supporting my weight, and literally dragged me towards my room. "Mom, call Dad!"
"Already am!"
They laid me on my bed and began to take my wet clothes off. I got even colder, and convulsions took over my body. "Emmett find more quilts." Jasper ordered. "The one he has here is too thin."
"There're some in guest bedroom closet." Esme said as she walked in the room, talking on the phone. "Since when do we have an electric-blanket? ... Where? ... Ok. I'll call you in 10 minutes." She shot the phone close and looked at me with an expression that was a mixture of worry, fear and apology.
She turned to Jasper. "Carlisle said there's an electric-blanket somewhere in garage. Please, try to find it… He said if edward's not better in 10 minutes, I have to call him and we're going to the hospital."
Jasper strode out of my room, and Esme came to me, sat on my bed and pulled my head in her lap. She rubbed my arm soothingly and then settled on stroking my hair. Tears continued to run down my face, falling onto Esme's lap and soaking into her skirt.
"Edward, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have… I… I just… I didn't know that you had no idea… It's going to be fine. Both of you will be… Let it all out now. Maybe that'll help you."
I continued to sob, tears never stopping, sometimes saying Bella's name or asking questions to my mother like 'Why us?' 'Why now?' 'What had she done to deserve anything she'd gone through?' until I drifted into an uneasy sleep.
AN: So there... Reviews are much appreciated, they make every author happy. I'm not an exception. So, either you like it, hate it, think it needs more work, is boring or interesting, have ideas or suggestions, tell me.
Susan
