6

The daylight had drained into the DC skyline as the evening approached. There were lights on through out the cold city, people settling into their homes and preparing for their quiet evenings. Though in the heart of the city there was still one light burning it's midnight oil.

Brennan sat at her desk in silence. She looked from her computer screen to the case files the cluttered mahogany structure held until her gaze landed on the small brainy smurf sitting obstructed from view at the edge. A smile crept up on her face as her eyes focused on the little figurine. Reaching for it she fingered the smooth texture, sighing heavily. She had set it out of view trying to keep the fact that she had held on to it from Booth's razor sharp glare. It had been almost two years since he had given it to her.

He had sat there at their favorite table, the harsh neon lights of the diner encasing his features as he recounted the story of his childhood ignorance. He had meant to even the playing field, but he had ended up reminding her that sometimes the things we think we need are not always in the packages that we expected. He had smiled his best million-dollar smile, laid his charm on thick, and handed her the little smurf. In that moment she no longer detested Brainy Smurf, she welcomed him. She could hear his liquid voice in her head as she held the object.

'Smurffette was dumb, shallow smurf who only had her looks. You are better than Smurffette, You've got your looks and a whole lot more."

Her free hand drifted to her abdomen. There was a level of comfort that came to her in knowing that Booth would be a good father to her child. It was not how she has played things out in her mind, emotions being the unimportant factor, when she had first conceived the idea of being a mother. She had only seen herself nurturing her offspring, raising them to be brilliant and polite. She would teach them the gifts that she had to offer, but it had never occurred to her that she might need a softer more humanistic influence on them. She had failed to realize that the reason she had a greater sense of humanity in the first place was because she had Booth's influence in her day-to-day life.

' Evolution is a long process, it takes hundreds of years.' Booth said leaning across the table.

'Thousands.' Brennan said with a smile.

' Why do you always have to correct me?'

' To help you evolve.' She said with pride.

Brennan smiled again, this time looking at the figure in her hand. She may have helped Booth evolve in some ways, but he had done the same for her. He had given her back her life in so many ways. He gave her that human connection that left her wanting more. They had helped each other move along the path of life in perfect harmony. When they were together flowers were prettier, people made more sense, and she felt a sense of total clarity and inner peace that she did not realize existed.

She was brilliant, but even she could not see what was missing from her life. Her feelings for Booth were more than the natural feelings that developed from being thrown into chaos with someone, he had allowed her to be a better person. He made her stop, every now and then, to see the world through those rose colored glasses that she had discarded all those years ago. He would give her anything she asked for, yet his greatest gift was something she never thought she would need. He had given her the most valuable gift of all, her humanity. That was the reason that she, Dr. Temperance Brennan, loved him unconditionally, whether she believed it or not.

******************

Meanwhile in an FBI office building across town….

Booth sat at his desk with a pen and several manila folders. He needed some organization in his life, this place was starting to look tragic. Files and papers covered his desk, a stack of crime scene photos were off to the side in a pile. He needed some space to work, to function, to breathe. Cam's words we still haunting him, popping into the forefront of his mind every few minutes. He needed to face this, to make himself admit the truth, before it drove him crazy. He had doubts and fears just like any expectant father, though they seemed more familiar after having Parker.

The irony of the situation was that there were so many parallels between the two. He had beat himself senseless when Rebecca had refused to marry him all those years ago, wondering if he was cut out the be a father or a husband. He had questioned the caliber of his manhood and the legitimacy of his word. Those same thoughts crept up on him now, pushing their way in. The doubt, the fear and the anxiety crashed over him like a tidal wave of emotion. In every situation he saw himself failing, yet it should feel different this time. He already knew that he was a good father, and that he was a good man. Still here he was at the brink of fatherhood and he was scared shitless all over again.

Frustrated with himself he threw his pen across the room. The plastic tube bounced off the wall and landed on the carpet. He did not care about looking crazy through the glass door of his office, everyone had gone home for the evening. It was harder when he was alone, with no sound to drown out those voices in his head.

He could not do this anymore. He could not hide his real feelings in the wake of her rationalism. It was too late to take the offer off of the table, and to be honest he probably would not even if her could. He wanted to have a claim to her to badly. He wanted to be a part of her life in a more permanent way, more than he wanted to take his next breath. They say that having a near death experience was supposed to be an eye opener, but they never say what happens to the guy who already has his eyes open.

He would close his eyes at night and still see those images of her in his mind. He could feel her skin on his, smell her hair, or feel her eyes on him. He had dreamt up the Brennan that he wanted, he had her in his grasp for such a short amount of time. He was grasping at straws, hoping to come out on top.

He did not want to reap the benefits of someone else's convienent wants and desires. It was Brennan's desire to have a child that put him here, but it was his own weakness that kept him. It was never about the responsibility or the need to sire another offspring. No, for him at least, it was an act of love. He loved her with all of himself and he would never be able to tell her no. She had asked far too much of him this time and he had given it to her willingly. It was never about feeling like he owed her one after the surgery or his tumor, he would have done this with out all of that. He was hopelessly in love with a woman who was not capable of loving him in return. Not in the way that he needed it at least.

Booth stood up and stretched. He needed to get out of here for a while. He needed time to clear his head. It may have sounded cliché but he felt trapped because he had too much space. She was not a cold or shrill woman, in fact she was warm and caring. The real issue was that her walls were just too high and he did not have anywhere near enough rope to scale them.