Princess Time!
Disclaimer: The Disney Princess franchise is owned by Disney. Any and all intellectual properties used herein are owned by their legal entities. This is a non-profit fan based parody, please support the official release.
This part written by Wind-Waker.
"Elsa!"
The Snow Queen snapped her attention back up from her book. It had been a loan from Belle on Euclidean Geometry, and she was just getting to the the part about the fifth axiom and its relation to the formation of a square. Ya know, fun stuff. The platinum blonde placed it down not he coffee table, and grumbled as she marched into the kitchen.
"What is this about Tiana?" she said just as she was entering the linoleum tiled room, only to be confronted by all twelve of her roo...fla...house-mates, yeah house-mates.
"Elsa," Tiana continued, looking very seriously at the older woman, ", the other girls and I have been discussing a few things, and we need to have a talk with you."
"Listen," Elsa said quickly, raising her hands in defense, "I'm sorry about causing the water to go cold at times, but Ariel takes hours to get done with her baths in the morning, and I need a shower to wake up."
"I told you she did that," Ariel grumbled.
"Listen," Belle added trying to come between the mermaid and Elsa, "this isn't about that. Besides," she turned back to the red head, "You really do take way too long in the shower."
"Hmph."
Pocahontas coughed, stopping that conversation before it could get out of hand.
"Actually, Elsa, we actually wanted to talk to you about-"
"It's about all the chocolate disappearing from the cupboards isn't it," Elsa suddenly pointed towards the back of the group confronting her, "Anna's lying to you. She's been eating all of them, not me."
"Wow. You saw a random bus just rolling straight by you, and then you tossed me right under it."
"This isn't about that either," Cinderella groaned. She seriously wondered at times how girls who acted so cavalierly like this were allowed to be princesses.
"Though me and her are going to have to have little talk about that after we're done here," Tiana appeared to cracking her knuckles in anticipation. Anna gulped, before delivering a death glare to her sister. Elsa chuckled weakly before shrugging back at her.
"You need to get a boyfriend," Aurora, the most regal of the group, announced, bringing all of attention of the others to her. At this, Elsa's eyebrows shot up to the middle of her forehead.
"Boyfriend. Why do I have to get a boyfriend? I thought the only requirement here was that those living here had to be a princess."
"First of all," Jasmine, giving her friend a rather devilish smirk, spoke up, "you're a queen. Really pushing the whole princess limitation. Course, you're better than some other hanger ons that I coul-OW!"
Mulan smiled softly at Elsa, having retracted her hand from the swift smack that she had delivered the younger woman. Elsa nodded smiled back at her, before she heard Aurora cough, and brought her attention back to the the group.
"More importantly," the regal woman continued, "We believe that it would more fully allow you to join us as a group. We all have wonderful men in our lives. I have brave Prince Phillip, Jasmine has the cunning Aladdin, Rapunzel has the dashing Flynn Rid-"
"His name's Eugene actually," Punzel offered up.
"Flynn Rider," Aurora continued, causing the younger woman to pout, "Your sister managed to find that quaint little Kristoff fellow," Anna turned her glare from her sister to the blond standing a few feet in front of her, "and Snow has...Prince Charming."
"He's really nice," Snow giggled. Aurora looked at Elsa.
"We have admittedly made her finding a new boy to go out with our priority due to certain...issues," Belle spoke softly, all the while covering Snow's ears, "but we were hoping that you might be willing to take the initiative so that we could focus on helping Snow," Snow giggled while waving at Elsa, "because she needs it."
"Okay, now I have another question. Why do I have to get a boyfriend at all? Being single makes me unique."
"Not really," Belle corrected, "You're the second "Disney Princess" to not have a love interest."
"Well then why is it such a problem that I don't?"
"Because the other one who doesn't have a love interest is her," Ariel pointed to the end of the table, where Merida was sitting with her bare-naked, and quite dirty, feet on the table. In her hands was a large bag of Haggis flavored potato chips, which she was downing at a rather alarming rate. Her hair was a complete mess, and it looked as though she had not washed it in several days, as well as though it appeared that a bird seemed to have made a nest out of the back half of it for all the twigs and leaves stuck in the mane. She stopped gulping down chips for a second, let out a large burp, and then right back to eating. Elsa could smell the dried sweat covering the entirety of the red head's body, and she involuntarily took a step back.
"Oh you'll take the high-road, and I'll low road..." she sang beneath her breath as she inhaled dozens of pieces of stomach flavored potato.
"We're worried that the reason she acts so," Belle searched for the correct word, "Cavalier around us is that she doesn't have anyone who makes her want to actually meet any level of human decency. It has been quite hard dealing with her when we have to force her into the tub once a week so the whole apartment doesn't end up smelling. We'd just hate to see you fall down the same path as her."
"Listen," Elsa rubbed her forehead, trying to knead the pain away, "I understand your concern, but there is no need to worry. I am not going to end up like Merida just because I don't have a boyfriend."
"Well," Belle rubbed the back of her head, "We can understand where you're coming from, but we'd still like you to try to get out and find someone. And we do keen someone. We understand that you might have certain preferences, and we respect that," Aurora rolled her eyes, only for Belle to elbow her in the stomach, "We all completely understand that."
"Look," Elsa tried to to stammer out, quickly feeling as though she was being entrapped, "I'm not gay. We'll maybe I am. I don't know. I locked myself away in a room for thirteen years and I had more important things to think about in that room than which genitalia I would prefer my lover to have."
"So try to go out with both genders," Ariel offered, trying to keep this from devolving any further, "It will be fun. Go out and meet new people. I'm sure you'll find someone you can get along with well enough to at least start some kind of relationship."
"I really don't want to do this," Elsa groaned, her headache having overwhelmed her hands ability to help it, "Isn't anyone here on my side?"
"I was on your side until you threw me under the bus," Anna growled. This caught Tiana's attention. The cook slowly reached down, and picked up a frying pan. Anna stared in horror, before bolting out of the room, Tiana in fast pursuit. Right behind them were Belle and Mulan, both determined to try and keep anything too damaging from happening, as well Merida, who was loudly egging on Tiana to give Anna what fore. Cinderella smiled and walked out of the room, picking up a duster as she danced out the door, followed by the rest of the group.
Soon, Elsa was alone in the kitchen. She sighed, pulled out the chair from the table, sat down, and rested her head on the wooden top.
"This is not going to be fun."
Heavily inspired by the Pocket Princesses webcomic by Amy Mebberson, this thread is for any and all Disney Princess related hijinks you might think up. Basic premise? The Princesses are roommates and have access to the entirety of Disney properties and canon to interact with for hilarious adventures.
