Chapter 3
The mask was surprisingly heavy.
Rey sat in a pile of blankets that was currently her bed in the cargo room. The first night following the battle, the Resistance survivors slept pretty much anywhere they could get comfortable, and the bunk room was dedicated to those who needed medical attention, like Rose. Rey had announced she would sleep with the porgs in the cargo bay, since she was used to them anyway. No one stopped her. No one joined her.
She had visitors, of course. Finn swung by when he was taking breaks from watching Rose. Chewie would consult her for help with the Falcon occasionally. Poe came by a few times, asking her if she had insight from the force on where to go or what to do next. Others would come by, thanking her for saving them or asking if there was anything they could get for her.
It had bothered her that they bunked up tight in the rest of the ship but left her alone in such a large space. Still, it was convenient given her connection to Ben.
She stared at the mask. It was really more of a helmet, going over his head and covering his hair. It had frightened her on Takodana when he appeared in the woods, and again when he interrogated her.
She hadn't seen him wear it since then though, well, except briefly before Ben murdered his father. She chucked the mask aside at the memory, startling two of the porgs in the process.
He made no sense to her. She had heard so many stories of his ruthlessness and had experienced it firsthand on Starkiller Base, but he was also so kind to her at times, and he understood what she was going through in a way no one else did. They had both been abandoned. They had both been distrusted by Luke. They had both suffered the temptations of the dark side.
Of course, it was possible to have the wrong things in common.
But he had been there for her. He had tried to be gentle with her when she wanted to kill him on Takodana. He had offered to teach her when he should have destroyed her on Starkiller base. He had never denied that he was a monster, but he had been there for her when she was falling apart from loneliness on Ahch-To. She had seen a vision of a future where they stood together. He had killed his master rather than lose her, and fighting back-to-back against the guards with the force flowing between them had been the most natural thing in the world.
The force was telling her to trust him despite everything.
She flopped back down into the pile of blankets and summoned the mask to her with the force. "Why you?" she asked it, trying to imagine Ben's face on the other side of it. "You're horrible. You're a monster. I shouldn't want a monster at my side, you know. I should want someone like Finn or maybe Poe, not that I know him well, but he seems nice, if a little too friendly. Still, anyone should be better than my worst enemy."
The memory of the mirrors on Ahch-To flashed to mind, and Rey sighed. Ben may be the Resistance's worst enemy, but he was not hers. Her own worst enemy was herself. She was rash and easily led to the dark side, just as Luke had feared. Perhaps she was just like Ben.
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. All thinking and no activity would get her nowhere, not that she knew what to do. Perhaps some force meditation would show her the way though.
Rey closed her eyes and opened herself to the force, feeling the life around her, and the weight of the mask next to her. Like a slingshot, she felt the force pull towards that thought and connect her to Ben. She groaned. So much for clearing her head of him and focusing on something else.
"Please tell me you're dressed properly this time," she said, keeping her eyes closed.
"That was only one time," he said through a modulated voice. Her eyes shot open to see him fully dressed before her with his mask on. She looked down at the mask at her side and back at the one on his face, confused. "I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Did you really think I didn't have spares?"
Rey rolled her eyes and put his lost mask on her own head. "I'm the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Did you really think I didn't have spares?" she said in a mocking voice. Her modulated voice sounded different than his, but still creepy.
Ben took his own mask off and offered her a lopsided smile. "Looks better on you," he said.
Rey took hers off and offered it to him, but he shook his head.
"Keep it, if only to scavenge it. There are some very valuable materials in there, and I imagine my helmet would sell on the black market for quite a bit intact as well. Tell them you claimed it in the battle following Snoke. No one would suspect you."
Rey looked at the helmet, raised an eyebrow, and shrugged. She wasn't going to argue that. "I forgot to hand your handkerchief back. It's still pretty nasty though." She pulled it out and frowned, looking at the wadded up black cloth. "It's interesting that we can do this. You know, hand objects back and forth. I don't remember reading anything like it in the teachings."
"Nor I, even with the records of the sith at my disposal. Snoke claimed to create our bond, but I believe now that what we share is unique and wholly ours. The force has drawn us together, Rey. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to protect you."
"You're right. The force has drawn us together. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to kill you," Rey said, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
"The dark user drawn to protect the light user who wants to murder him on sight. From the beginning, we were balanced, and the force has always sought balance. I'm sure you have realized how vulnerable we are to each other. Have you told your little friends in the Resistance?"
Rey shook her head. "Have you told anyone in the First Order?" Of course, Snoke knew, but Snoke had stolen the knowledge from Ben's head, and Snoke was dead now.
"I have not. There's no one I trust so well," he said in a soft voice. They gazed at each other for a moment, and Rey felt her hairs stand on end for her anticipation of what would come next between them. "I brought you a gift," he said after some time.
"A gift?" she asked. Gifts were rare in her life.
He pulled out a white folded cloth. "To replace your rag. Please, take it."
Rey did, surprised and curious. "Thank you." She stared at it for a moment, then narrowed her eyes at him. "It's not hiding something dangerous, is it?"
"You'll have to see for yourself," he said calmly, but there was a twinkle of mirth in his eyes.
Rey unfolded it carefully and saw golden embroidery in one corner. "Rey… Solo?" she said, confused. "Why does it say Solo? It's not my real name, is it?"
Ben shook his head. "You dreamed of having Han Solo as your father, did you not?"
Rey flushed. "But that doesn't mean I should carry his name on my handkerchief… He never claimed me as a daughter, and it's not like I can ask his permission now."
"You don't need to. It is my name as well, and I am giving it to you," Ben said. Rey flushed from head to toe. Ben also seemed flustered, as if he had forgotten his lines to a script.
A long silence passed between them as they stared at each other.
"I can take it back if you don't want it," he said. "It shouldn't be hard to remove the embroidering for the last name if it's so distasteful."
"I will keep it," Rey said. She quickly folded it and stuck it in her pocket. "It will be my reminder that you have not completely given up your name."
Ben inhaled sharply. "That's not what that means."
Rey smiled. "That's what it means to me. What else could it mean? A promise of marriage in the future between the First Order Supreme Leader and the Resistance scavenger?" She looked at Ben's old helmet mask at her side. "One of us would have to give up our allegiance."
Ben's eyes widened, and she looked at him, surprised at his own shock. "You would marry me if not for the Resistance? The war is the only reason you left me?"
The blood drained from Rey's face. "No… No! There are… lots of reasons," she said, but Ben didn't seem to be convinced.
"I would like to hear them," Ben said with new determination in his voice. Rey shook her head fiercely as he stepped towards her, and the connection ended.
"That was too close," she said. "Marriage? What in stars was I thinking?" She gazed at the porgs, who had clustered near her. One waddled forward and climbed under the helmet, and suddenly the room was filled with modulated chirping.
"Well he did give me his last name on the handkerchief. Isn't that normally how a woman gets a man's name? Not through a handkerchief, but... " The porg she had been addressing stared back helpfully, and she sighed.
"I have completely lost my mind."
Not sure how well I kept them in character with this chapter, but I had fun writing it. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!
