I hated getting all dressed up. Paullina had often demanded it, since I was to make an appearance at any event that the Sanchez family held, but I had never liked it. I had done it for her – for the way that she'd grin since, once upon a time, I'd found it alluring. After that, I'd just done it through a sense of obligation, much the same way that Mom and Dad did when they received invitations from the high society. When I had been with Sam, though, it had been worth it to see her in the nice dresses. I knew she hated dressing up too but she had been born to do it, had been doing it since she was young. She'd been so pretty, so elegant, all of the things I'd wanted to make her believe about herself but that she'd never seen.
I looked down at the tie in my hand, thinking of Jazz's so-called benefit, thinking of Dad helping me with my tie because my sister hadn't been around. Then. My sister hadn't been around then. I left my room and knocked on her door.
"Just a second," Mom called and I stood patiently outside the door.
Kind of patiently, admittedly. I heard the sound of a dress rustling around and I wondered how it was harder to get on one giant piece of fabric than to get on all of the different pieces of a suit. Finally, Mom opened the door and let me in.
"You look so nice, Danny!"
"Thanks," I said. "Uh, you too, I guess."
Mom's make-up was done – which, admittedly, when we had started getting invited to functions, it had taken me a while to get used to her wearing so much make-up after spending my entire childhood without her really wearing any of it – but she was dressed in her giant, fluffy bathrobe.
"Oh, you're so funny. Think the ladies of Amity would be impressed with me?"
"Yeah," I said with a shrug and she Mom laughed at me again.
"We missed having you home."
"I missed being home," I whispered.
She patted my cheek before moving back to her and Dad's bedroom and I popped into my sister's room.
"That's a fucking massive dress."
Okay, well, specifically, the skirt was fucking massive.
"I like it!" Jazz said defensively, picking up the edges of the skirt.
"Yeah, yeah, it's fucking adorable," I said and I took a seat next to her on the bed. I handed her the tie. "Help me out, please?"
"After you've insulted my dress?" Jazz sniffed but she looped the tie around my neck anyway. "Trust me not to strangle you?"
"Yeah. You missed me too much," I said lightly.
"I was worried I'd never see you again," Jazz said. "I was worried that even when I got better and I was able to go and look for you, that you'd already be gone."
"It's better now," I said, full of fake cheer.
Jazz glanced at me, adjusting the knot of the tie without even looking. I knew that she didn't believe my false optimism either but she decided not to say anything. I didn't know what I would have said if she had. We just stared at each other for a moment and then I heard the front door slam. I tensed and went intangible, falling through the floor. Had someone dared to break into Fentonworks?
No. It was just Tucker, sauntering through the kitchen.
"Hey," I said, appearing behind him and he nearly jumped into the wall.
"Fuckin' hell, man!" he cursed. "Don't do that to me."
"Sorry." I shrugged and then my lips twisted upward. "It's kinda fun though."
Tucker casually flipped me off and headed toward the stairs.
"Everyone ready?"
"Jazz is. I think Mom's still trying to talk Dad into a suit, though. You know how long that takes."
"Some things never change," Tucker said and the he stopped, one foot on the stairs. "You okay? You ready to go, really?"
I shrugged again, running my hand through my hair. "I don't know. I guess I'll know when I get there. It's at Sam's place. I know my way around there. I was down at Walker's today. Vlad and Elliot are all sealed up. I just have to keep repeating that. See if it sinks in."
Tucker stepped down and he and I went to sit in the living room. I didn't say anything but I didn't feel like I had to. I was just glad that Tucker knew me so well. We sat there until Mom, Dad, and Jazz came down, Mom carrying Jazz's wheelchair and Dad supporting Jazz on her shaky legs. I hated seeing the wheelchair. She was able to wobble around the house, mostly on her legs, though she had to slide down the stairs, but whenever she went out, she was mostly still in it, for now.
"Let's go!" Mom said. "We don't want to be late, right?"
"Right."
We crammed into the van. I ended up between Tucker and Jazz. I'd never thought that spot had been awkward before – it had always been the natural spot for me to take, since I'd never thought my best friend and my sister would want to sit next to one another. Now, I couldn't help but wonder if they'd rather be side by side. I liked to think that I was just glad they were happy – and, for the most part, I was – but sometimes, when I thought about it, it made me want to wrinkle my nose.
We pulled up to the Manson Mansion. It was a little more crowded than I was hoping for but, with Sam's mom, it wasn't really more than I was expecting. Mom and Dad parked near the front door and we all ascended to the front door. Dad sat up Jazz's wheelchair before the door open and she sank into her, her face so relieved looking that I wondered if I had underestimated how much her injuries actually hurt her.
I held my breath and steeled myself and, admittedly, hid half behind my parents as the door swung open. I heard music and talking and my stomach clenched. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be at home. I wanted to be watching movies and eating nachos again.
"Pamela, Jeremy, hello!"
Mom and Dad stepped inside and I followed, Tucker helping Jazz with her wheelchair. I spotted Sam, standing between her parents, looking older and sophisticated in a soft grey dress. She looked so much better than the hospital – stronger and healthier, even, in just the few days we'd had outside.
Jeremy reached forward and took my hand. I didn't know him all that well.
"Danny!" Pamela said. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," I said, distracted by Mom wrapping her arms around Sam. Politely, I added, "How are you two?"
"Tucker!" Sam exclaimed. Was it wrong that I wished she wanted to see me like that? I couldn't help the pangs in my heart, no matter that I knew better.
"Oh, we're just great," Pamela said. "How could we not be, with Sammy back where she belongs?"
"Yeah, I think that's how my parents feel," I said.
Tucker got to hug her. Sometimes, I felt jealous of him. He'd been smart enough to not become a total dickbag. I hadn't had the same brain.
"Yes," Jeremy said. "We all got to know each other very well while you were … away."
He was so awkward and straight faced. No wonder Sam had struggled to talk to him about her problems. He didn't seem like my dad at all and I really didn't know how to react to that. Despite my dad's flaws, he'd always just been such a dad. Tucker's father was the same way. He made stupid jokes and liked to annoy us and he liked to give unsolicited advice. I couldn't imagine Sam's father doing anything of those things.
"I'm … glad, I guess, that you guys had each other?" What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?
Oh, look. Jazz got to hug Sam too. I'd be lucky if she even talked to me.
"The same to you," Pamela said, struggling to keep a smile on her face. "It was worse to think of Sam all alone. Not that we're happy that you had to struggle, Danny, of course not. We would have preferred that nothing happen at all."
"Right, right," I said, only half paying attention. I was just trying to survey Sam's house. I didn't really know this part of it all that well and part of me was itching to go intangible and run around, checking every room and staring every single person in the face. I wanted to know every single fucking person that was in the house. I wanted to know who was where at all times. It wasn't realistic but holy fuck did I ever want it.
I was glad when Tucker and Jazz joined us, only because it helped spread the awkward around. It was too much to hope that they would be too much of a distraction and that I would get to slip away and do my sleuthing. I had known I was signing up for a night of shaking hands and being the centre of attention but, for the first time in a long time, I wanted nothing but to fade into the background again. I wanted to be able to run around and do what I wanted to do without paying the least bit of attention to anyone else.
"Oh, I have to go check on some arrangements," Pamela said suddenly. "You understand. Timing is everything at an event like this."
"Of course," I said, as Tucker and Jazz mumbled something similar along with me.
"Excuse me."
Then, Pamela was gone and the three of us faced Jeremy.
He rubbed the back of his neck. It was something I often did but the fact that we had a similar habit didn't make me full like I could trust him. The things that he had put Sam through weighed heavily on my mind but I didn't know if that was a fair thing at all. She had told me that in a confidence. Not even technically me, I supposed, and things between her and her father might have drastically changed in the time since I had known her. Really known her. Our time in the cell was warped and, perhaps, not quite real. It didn't quite count, I guessed. I both wanted it to and I wanted to forget it forever.
"Jazz, Tucker, how about I show you around a little."
To my horror, they took him up on his fucking offer. I watched as Tucker took Jazz's wheelchair handles in his hands and push her away, following Jeremy into the crowd. Several people stopped and talked to them while I turned completely and faced Sam. I couldn't take my eyes off her face. I had almost forgot what she looked like with make-up on, her cheeks pretty and pale, her eyeliner making her eyes look huge. She looked more like herself.
"Hi," Sam said, and I was relieved that she'd said something first.
"Hi." Several questions tilted on my lips. How had she been? Was she scared to be alone too? Did she give herself heart attacks in the middle of the night when her family was just getting up to go to the bathroom, because she thought that it might be someone coming back to attack?
I didn't get to get any of my questions in. We had barely a foot of space in between us and Pamela suddenly was there, filling it up entirely. She put a hand on my shoulder and I resisted the urge to shake off her touch.
"Come along, guests of honour! There's a place waiting for you!"
I wasn't a fan of being called a guest of honour but I didn't say anything about it, even as she wrapped her arm completely around my shoulders. I followed her lead over to Sam, so that she could grab onto her daughter as well and then we were lugged off into the crowd.
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~TLL~
