Chapter 9

Kylo Ren leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. Hux's body had been disposed of, and he had called on the Knights of Ren to fill the gaps in the First Order's leadership. They would do the job with no questions asked. He had trained his tools well.

Everyone in his world away from the Resistance had been either tools or his master, except for Hux. Hux had been his only peer, though Hux had no ability with the force and Kylo knew little about general military command. He did not regret killing Hux. He would not miss Hux either, but with Hux's death, he realized he wished things had been different between them. He wished Hux had been someone he could have confided in. The realization bothered him more than he cared to admit.

The porg was chittering on the desk behind him, scattering documents and tools as it explored. Its simplicity and blind trust in him tainted him with hope and longing for a normal life instead of this cage of power. The painful desire filled him to the point that he half considered killing the porg just to avoid feeling, but he knew he wouldn't. He might be a monster, but even he wouldn't take the life of an innocent without good reason. He found no thrill in killing.

Ben. Please.

Kylo Ren's eyes widened as the force forged itself between him and Rey, and she appeared on the floor before him, sitting cross-legged. She had sought him out, though he had left her to the company of her friends. Had something gone wrong?

"Thank goodness. It worked," she said when she saw him. She smiled at him and bit her lip. "Did you know we can establish the bond ourselves?"

Kylo Ren knew. After discovering the bond outlived Snoke's death, he had thought back and realized that every bond had happened when he had been thinking about her, but he was not ready to share that. "You're here," Kylo said. "Why did you come to me?"

"I was worried about you," Rey said in an annoyed voice. "You didn't seem like yourself, and then you told me to treasure my friends as if you weren't one of them too. Is it so strange I would want to be here for you?"

Kylo felt some of his tension and fear leave him at her words. He wanted to remind her that he was a monster and her enemy, but she had already demonstrated time and again that she saw past that, and he was hungry for her friendship. "No, it's not strange," he said after a moment.

Kylo carefully climbed down from his chair to sit cross-legged across from her on the floor with their knees just inches apart. They both looked down at where their knees almost met. "I killed Hux," he said after a moment of silence. Rey said nothing, but her surprised eyes came up to meet his. He looked away after a moment. "Hux found out that I cared for you. He wanted to use you against me." He looked back up and met her eyes again. "He would have hurt you," he said, sadness coloring his voice.

Rey looked down and remained silent, and Kylo feared she might be disappointed in him. He wanted her approval badly, though he would not have changed his decision to kill Hux.

"Hux was the general who worked alongside you under Snoke, right?" Rey asked. Kylo nodded. "You grieve him?"

"No," Kylo said, shaking his head. "Nor do I regret killing him." Rey shuddered, and Kylo gave her a piercing look. "That frightens you?"

"Yes," Rey admitted. "There's no one in the Resistance whom I wouldn't mourn, though I am still learning their names, but you have killed both Snoke and Hux now with little hesitation."

Kylo growled. "They both threatened you," he reminded her.

"I know, Ben, but I don't think that I ever realized how isolated you've been. Do you have anyone in your life you would miss?"

Kylo locked his gaze with her. She should already know he had one person he would have given up everything for, and he was in no humor to spell it out that moment. "I wish you hadn't left me," he said. "We could have left this behind."

Rey sighed. "I couldn't abandon my friends, Ben."

"I think I understand now. They're precious to you." Surprise painted Rey's face, and Kylo frowned, trying to find the words to explain it. "I understood after I killed Hux. Hux was no friend, but he was a peer. He was my only peer in the First Order. With Snoke gone, I had half-hoped that we might learn to be a team. It was a foolish thing. We've hated each other since the moment we met. Still, I have no one to talk to."

"You have me," Rey said. She gently reached for his hands, and he sighed as he felt her skin against his. Reality blended around him as her surroundings in the Falcon overlapped with his bedroom on the Star Destroyer. Her hands were rough from her years of hard labor in the desert, but they were her hands, and he never wanted to let them go.

Kylo Ren forced his eyes away from their joined hands to look at her. "What must I do to keep you at my side?"

Rey's eyes fluttered down, pausing briefly on his lips before focusing on their joined hands. She swallowed hard. "I've been thinking about that," she said.

"Have you?" Kylo asked, furiously trying to squash the hope her words generated before it consumed him.

She didn't immediately respond, and he freed a hand to lift her chin gently so that she faced him. Rey leaned into his hand for a half-second before blushing fiercely and shaking herself free of him. Kylo struggled to remain calm at her rejection. He had waited over a decade to free himself from Snoke. He could learn to be patient with Rey, so long as she was beside him.

"I came up with a plan… I was about to discuss it with the others when you found us, and I expect you'll hate it and so will they, but it's something."

Kylo frowned at the thought of her discussing her plans for their relationship with her Resistance friends, but he said nothing and waited for her to elaborate.

"I want to make a wager, I suppose. A gamble. I want you to get to know my friends in the Resistance and give them a chance to know you as well."

Kylo Ren glared at her and backed away, pulling to his feet and pacing around her. "Why? So that I will be less likely to order their deaths?"

Rey flinched as if she had been struck and stood up as well, rotating with his pacing to face him. "No! I mean, that wouldn't be bad, but no, that's not at all why I suggested it. They think you're some evil, heartless monster. You think they're a bunch of worthless thieves and murderers, but it doesn't have to be that way! Ben, I see the good in you. I want others to see it too, and if you care for me, I know you can learn to care for them too."

Kylo stopped pacing to stare at her. "You called it a wager, a gamble."

Rey nodded. "After Snoke's death, we didn't have time to talk about what it would mean to go with each other. I thought that maybe we could find out. Give the Resistance a second chance by getting to know them, Ben, and if you can find a place there, work with them to end the war peacefully. And during that time, you can teach me about the First Order, or whatever, and show me what your vision of us ruling the galaxy together would be like."

Kylo Ren bristled at the thought of having anything to do with the Resistance, but he saw where her idea had merit, and he expected it would be equally distasteful for her to involve herself with the First Order. If she were willing to go so far to give his dream a chance, he could do the same for her. "And if neither of us can convince the other to join them in the end?" Kylo Ren asked.

"Then, assuming we're still friends at that time, we get on a ship together and leave it all behind. Nothing but us and the future," Rey said, stepping closer to him.

"You would abandon the Resistance for me?" Kylo said, his voice shaky with emotion at what she was offering.

"If they can't see the good that I see in you, I'm not sure they're worth saving," Rey said. "Please," she added, holding out her hand to him.

"You won't come to me in person until we're done, correct? There are too many here who would want to kill you." He still couldn't believe that she had come to the Supremacy while Snoke lived. She had too much faith in him. There were limits to how much he could protect her.

"Same with the Resistance," Rey admitted. "The force bond allowed you and Luke to see each other when we held hands, right? We can use that to keep each other safe. Just let go at the first sign of trouble."

Kylo Ren stared at her incredulously. "We would have to hold hands constantly, Rey, and everyone would see."

Rey shrugged. "Let them see. I don't want to be ashamed of our friendship, Ben."

He searched her eyes, wishing for some indication of whether she desired more than just friendship with him, but it wouldn't change anything. He was losing his interest in maintaining the First Order by the hour, and horrifying the Resistance through an open display of friendship with Rey seemed a diverting way of closing that chapter before he and Rey started over on their own, for he did not doubt for a moment that she would refuse the First Order and that he would be utterly rejected by the Resistance.

"I accept your terms," Kylo Ren said, clasping her offered hand within his own.

Rey grinned broadly at him and let go of his hand to wrap her arms around his waist. "Thank you," she murmured into his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair, leaning his own head on top of hers. "You're welcome," he said. "Thank you for choosing me," he added after a moment, squeezing her tightly for a moment.

She stepped back from him and gave him an odd look. "You don't think this will work, do you? The Resistance giving you a second chance?"

"Not for a moment, but I will try for your sake," he said.

Rey smiled at him, and the bond ended, leaving him alone in his room. No, not alone, Growlie was sleeping in a tiny pile of fluff in the center of his bed. He sighed, wondering when he would remember to return Growlie to Rey. He would miss the strange creature.


Another day, another chapter. Love it, hate it, whatever, please share your thoughts with a review.