At dinner, it was easiest to focus on eating and listening to everyone else talk. Not to say that listening to Tucker was easy. He talked slowly, sometimes, like a kid and then he'd stop entirely in the middle of a sentence, searching for words he didn't have. It felt like someone was beating me every time I listened to him. Vlad still hadn't left us. Vlad never would leave us. Jazz was quick to guess at what Tucker wanted and they kept touching each other. That, strangely enough, was easiest to watch. Some things, Vlad hadn't been able to break.
Just because that was the easiest thing to watch, though, it didn't mean that I spent the whole time paying attention to my sister and my best friend. It was Sam I paid attention to, watching her. It was the last time, probably, that I'd be able to see her and I was so glad that it was when she was happy, watching her friends tease one another and being elbowed by her mom into talking. She seemed content. I was glad she was content. To my confusion, sometimes, Sam would look up at me. She'd quickly look away again but she kept looking. Like some obsessive teenage twit, I wanted to ask Jazz what she thought it meant, but I couldn't. I'd told myself I wouldn't do that to Sam.
I was pushing the last of chocolate mousse around my bowl when I saw Sam leant into her mom. It made me suspicious of Pamela but I leant on my arm and shuffled a little closer to my own mother instead.
"Are you going to finish your dessert, Danny?" Mom asked.
I hadn't actually been able to finish any of my food. I just didn't have the stomach for it anymore.
"Not that hungry," I said, and then I felt fingers on my arm. I turned, looking at Sam, holding onto me. She tugged at me and I leant into her, feeling the ends of her hair tickling my forehead and cheeks.
"Mom wants to know if we'll dance together, lead the guests on to the next part of the party." With fake cheer she added, "We are the guests of honour."
"A dance." I'd never properly danced with her. We'd danced, before, falling around each other in her room, but it wasn't quite the same. My heart hurt. I wanted it. But it wasn't about me. "I … Only if you to, Sam."
She bit down on her lip and I couldn't tale my eyes off the small movement. "Yeah, I think it'll be … nice."
It brought a small smile to my face. Nice. Simple, vague, non-committal. As opposed to feeling like touching me would make her feel like bugs were crawling all over her skin. Nice. It could be a nice thing. "Yeah."
Sam slid back over to her mom and I watched them whisper. Then, Pamela was up on her feet, clinking her glass. I decided I hated glass clinking. It was so pretentious.
Pamela called out across the room, "Guests, I hope you've all enjoyed that lovely meal! If you find yourself getting peckish throughout the night, there will be snacks set up in this room! For now, it's time to commence the dancing and socializing part of the evening! Beverages are available in the next room. If we'll all head there now, our guests of honour, Samantha and Daniel, are going to lead us in a dance."
I watched Sam's face twitch and I was glad that Sam hated the term 'guest of honour' too. Pamela descended from our table, followed by Jeremy. I waited until Mom and Dad went and then I trailed after them, trusting Tucker to take care of Jazz. I followed the group of parents into the next room, which was a massive, cleared out room, except for the DJ booth in the back. I tried to meld back against the wall, but Pamela was right there, filing the gap between Sam and I.
"It would be a little awkward if it was just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor, wouldn't it?"
I had no idea what to say to Pamela, so I was glad when Sam said, "Yes."
"So, here's what we'll do," Pamela babbled, making me think that this had been her plan all along. "You and Danny will walk out first, and then you'll be followed by Jeremy and I; Jack and Maddie; Jazz and Tucker. After that, any guests will join in. Does that sound all right?"
Shit, I should say something. I smiled. Parents, historically, had liked me. "It sounds like a good plan, Mrs. Manson."
"Aw, aren't you sweet," she said, giving me that parental chuckle they did when they found their kids endearing. "But, call me Pamela."
"Yes, Pamela," I said, and she laughed again.
"Be ready," Pamela warned, "the DJ is about to start."
Then, Pamela wasn't between Sam and I anymore and it was just her and I. I stared at her, for the awkward few seconds before the music started. Then, I offered Sam my arm. Her small hand slid around my elbow. We walked to the middle of the dance floor and I tried not to think of anything but her. The guests in this room weren't going to attack. I'd be able to react if anything happened. But there was nothing but Sam and the feeling of the music. Sam turned to face me and I held my breath.
"Formal dancing," she said, her hands falling upon my body.
I almost laughed. Formal dancing. She'd tried to teach me how to dance, once, after I'd accidentally discovered she'd had to learn to waltz as a child. I barely remembered anything from her teaching me – well, Phantom – how to dance, except that it had made her laugh. Except that we had been happy.
Sam's fingers wrapped around mine and then her other hand rested on my shoulder. I went to put my hand on her waist and then remembered: that was her injured side. I put my hand down on her hip, wondering if she'd push me away.
She didn't and then the lyrics began and we were stuck together, at least for the space of a three-minute song.
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
"You look beautiful," I told her, thinking that I should say something. "I don't know if I mentioned it earlier."
I knew I hadn't but I kind of wanted her to know that I'd been thinking it earlier.
"Thank you," Sam said, and her cheeks coloured again. It was so easy to make her blush. "Although, I really can't complete with the others."
Why did she always have to do that to herself? Why couldn't she see that she was leagues apart from anyone else in the room?
"I think it's they that can't compete with you."
Sam tripped over her own two feet. I grabbed desperately at her, keeping her up on her toes. I had her wrapped up in my arms when she straightened up and we were just that much closer.
"If only it were that easy to get you to fall for me," I said, and a darkness stole over her eyes before she let out the smallest laugh.
"Boys in suits are my weakness," she teased back.
I frowned; if only I had known that before. "I guess I'll have to invest in more suits, then."
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you.
Other people had started to dance along with us. I only glanced up once or twice, making sure that Tucker was taking care of Jazz. I shouldn't have worried about her that much. Injury or not, my sister could take care of herself. Mostly. I had seen what happened when Jazz couldn't take care of herself and I didn't ever want to live through that again. I ran my thumb along the bottom of Sam's hand, trying to draw strength from someone.
"They look incredible together," Sam said and I knew she could only be talking about Tucker and Jazz.
They weren't that cute but, I guessed, as far as guys went, Jazz could have done a lot worse. Tucker, in my opinion, couldn't have done better.
"Yeah. I'm just really glad they're alive." That simple fact would have gotten them pretty much whatever they wanted from me.
"Me too," Sam said, wistfully glancing around the room.
I knew Sam. I knew she was a romantic at heart, soft and beautiful, despite everything that she'd gone through. And I knew better that to ask. I really kind of did, but I wasn't all that bright.
"Sam … I have a question for you," I said, not giving myself a chance to think about it.
"Ask away."
"I … I want to know if we're ever going to see each other again, I mean, even as a friends. If it's not the right thing for you, I'll understand but … but I'd just like to know what you're thinking now."
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Sam didn't say anything for so long that I didn't think she was going to answer at all. I thought we'd just finish out our song and go our separate ways and we'd never actually speak again. Well, that was almost what I deserved, wasn't it? Finally, she did speak.
"I don't know."
I tried not to sigh but one escaped me anyway. "I understand."
At least, I mostly understood and I was trying to make up for the rest.
"It's … complicated, you have to know that."
Like I could ever ignore that.
"No, I do. I know that it's my fault and everything, but a guy can hope, I guess." It was, in all honesty, more than I had actually intended to say to her. Well, there was no going back now. If I had said one thing, I could say the rest, and she only fueled me when he hand reached to the back of my head, softly running her fingers through my hair. I leant into her fingers and I gave into her completely."I just … I have to be honest. I've missed you for so long and I don't want to let you go. I know I can, and I will, but I just had to say that."
"I understand," Sam said, and I was thinking that she was probably the only person that did understand. From our relationship to Vlad's cell, she was the person that had been right there. She understood that. "But, I think I know what has to happen."
And I knew I wasn't going to like it.
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
Something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
"We should keep our distance. Especially right now.Being in the cell … I think it skewed our view of the outside world. I think we need to figure out how to be in our lives again without trying to figure out each other because, before we were kidnapped together, we didn't interact. And we didn't interact for a very good reason. I can't speak for what's going on inside your head, but I'm confused about everything. I had to think about how I took my coffee, I'm not prepared to think about feelings."
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
I understand, Sam." What else could I say? I couldn't force her to spend time with me. I couldn't make her want to talk to me. I had asked. I had tried. I couldn't do that to her again. "It was … It was dumb enough for me to ask, anyway."
"No, no. It's not like that … It's –"
I slowly started to let go of her hands. Sam would try and make me feel better because that was the kind of beautiful person that Sam was. It was why I loved her. It was why I couldn't hurt her anymore.
"Danny –"
My name. At least she used my name now. I let go of her completely. I promised.
"Song's almost over, anyway." Like I ever wanted that stupid song to end.
"Danny!"
But, for probably the first time, I walked away from her.
And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Superman or the Reflections Universe, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash reflections dash universe. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.
~TLL~
