Until lunch, I didn't talk to anyone. However, as I walked into the lunch room, Wendy caught my arm and asked if I wanted to sit with them. I shrugged and agreed, since it was either that or be ignored by half the guys' lunch table. I wanted to go get coffee with the Goth kids, since I never really ate lunch anyways, but I didn't want dad to worry any more than he already was.
"Okay, girls, this is Emma," Wendy introduced as we approached the large table of giggling females. I was nervous.
"Hi," I said, uncomfortable.
We both sat down towards the end of the long table.
"Emma, this is Bebe, Millie, Nelly, Nichole, Jenny, Annie," I lost track as she went down of all the girls names. "And Heidi."
Heidi. That name stuck out but I couldn't remember why; I felt like it had something to do with Eric, honestly… we didn't talk much, though, so who knew…
"It's nice to meet you guys," I smiled and picked up my apple. They didn't serve coffee at the school, but they did have canned green tea, so I opted for that; it had too much sugar though, and when I took a sip it made me cough a bit.
"You alright?" Wendy asked.
I nodded. I took off my hood and let my mangled hair loose as I ate with the girls. They were kind of cool, I guess.
"Um, you guys are cool," I began. "But, you guys only hang out with other fourth graders… I don't get it."
"Um, Emma, we're girls, not guys," Bebe said, offended. "So, please refer to us as such."
"What?" I looked at them weird.
"Yeah, she's right, Emma," Wendy said. "That's just how it is nowadays."
"Oh, um, sorry," I looked down again, confused. Since when was Colorado a politically correct state? And since when did it matter to refer to a group as 'guys' when most people do it anyhow?
"Girls, let her be," Heidi said.
"Yeah," Nichole added. "She's used to hanging out with the boys, so just cut her some slack."
"You're right, girls," Bebe sighed. "I'm sorry."
"No worries," I smiled, but only to appease them; I didn't care. I wanted to hang out with the boys or the Goth kids at this point.
The school day progressed quickly and I was able to go home with Van and work on my guitar; he said he didn't need homework help, so I trusted him but told him that my room was right around the corner if he needed me. I made sure to have the living room cleaned for dad's arrival home. When he finally did arrive home, he seemed impossible to talk to.
"So, how was your day?" I asked. He didn't answer. This went on for twenty minutes, before I gave up and blurted, "We have to go over Wendy Testaburger's house for dinner tonight because her mom is willing to hire you."
That caught his attention quickly; thankfully.
"Really?" The light was there, very vaguely, in his eyes. Hope.
"Yeah, so can you get ready so we can all go? I know where her house is. It's only a small walk away."
He nodded, "Just give me twenty, sweetheart."
Triumphantly, I ran upstairs to make Van get dressed into his outerwear – to which he fought me on – however, eventually, I won and we were all ready to leave. We weren't dressed fancy, just respectable. Wendy told me that her parents dressed like that; very reserved and modest, so I did the same.
Dad knocked on their door twice before receiving an answer.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear, the doorbell isn't working," Mrs. Testaburger chuckled. "It's nice to meet you all; I assume you're the Clarks'?"
"Yes, ma'am," I said. Dad was nervous, so I took the lead.
"Well, come right in," We did as she said. "Emma, is it, right? Wendy is upstairs if you want to greet her. You'll know which room is hers."
I thanked her. As I walked up the stairs, I could hear her talking to Van. "We have every channel South Park has to offer on this television, young man; make yourself at home." I smiled at that.
"Wendy," I said, knocking on her door.
"Come in."
I opened the door and found her writing in a journal.
"What's up?" I asked, walking in.
"Oh, nothing much, just logging the day's events," She said. "I do this every evening before dinner; it helps me focus on the present if I take time to look on the past for a few minutes."
"That was kind of deep, Wendy," I laughed lightly. "But cool."
She looked at me and grinned, "Stan was right."
"About what?" I furrowed my brow.
"You do belong with the guys, I think," She said. "You act like them more than you act like us." She paused. "Oh, look at your hair, I love it! And I didn't know you could do your makeup so well; wow, if you wear yourself like that to school, not only will the girls adore you, but the guys might as well… I mean, come on you've got to have a guy you're trying to impress right now!"
I blushed and looked down. I wasn't used to the attention; back in NY this was how normal girls looked and anything less would be sloth-like, at the very least.
"Um, I don't know," I said, awkwardly. Was I trying to impress anyone? The tall Goth kid was kind of cute, but I didn't know if our personalities could mingle, also Henrietta might have called dibs; Kenny was sweet, but he felt like a brother…. And everyone liked Clyde, but he was ignoring me anyways. But, then there were the nice ones like Kyle… I didn't know. She was expecting a response. Should I lie? Should I pretend I'm asexual? Should I say what every other girl says so she dismisses me?
"Come on, I'm dying to know," She grinned. "I won't tell Stan; promise."
"I mean, a lot of the guys are cute, but I've only been here for a month," I said, choosing to be honest. "I need more time to evaluate them as people, yknow?"
She nodded, "I like that it's more than just looks for you. It seems like every girl is into Clyde, and he's nice, but he's not always kind, you know what I mean? That's why I like Stan; he isn't trying to be someone he's not and he's always looking out for me."
"That's really awesome that you two found each other, Wendy," I smiled.
"Girls, time for dinner," A male voice, her dad, called out.
"Okay, dad, be down in a moment," Wendy responded. She stood up from her bed and before opening the door looked at me and said, "But, when you do think you like someone, come to me; the girls and I will help."
I couldn't help but chuckle, "Alright."
Dinner was sociable; I remained quiet unless addressed, which Mrs. Testaburger would do from time to time; she was a kindhearted lady; I wished dad could find someone as sweet as her, but whenever he did date, it was always for looks and didn't last long. The conversation between the adults went well, though, and I was confident that my dad would at least be given something temporary, which I had previously been fearful for. At the end of dinner, we got our coats on and said our goodbyes. Mr. Testaburger told my father that he should expect a call within a day or two regarding work and I felt as giddy as he looked.
We arrived home and I put Van to bed; before going to sleep myself, I walked downstairs to talk to dad.
"I need to discuss something with you," He said.
"What's up?"
"This job pays less than my previous one," He said. "So, that means that we either have to give up cable or we have to have a yard sale; the yard sale would only hold us over until I get a raise and you're too young to get a traditional job during the school year, not that I'd expect you to anyways."
Before he lost his job, he'd surprised me with a new gaming system; it wasn't the game sphere, but it was probably worth a hundred or two and that could pay for a month of cable. I really liked it, but I knew that I should be the better person. I didn't care about television but dad and Van did, so I'd give up my gaming system.
"We'll sell the game system I got," I said.
"Are you sure?" He was surprised.
"It's fine," I said. "If I want to play video games, I'll go over Kyle's house, alright? And, this summer, I'll see if I can get a job at Tweak's cleaning or something. And, this weekend, if it snows, I'll go shovel peoples lawns like the boys do and split it with them."
He smiled, "You're such a good kid. I'm sorry that I always get mad at you. Now, go to bed, we'll discuss it more before the weekend."
I slept well that night. The next morning, I decided to be bold for once. I took Wendy's advice. I wore a long sleeved black shirt and dark jeans, let my curly hair loose, and did my makeup; I'd always been somewhat of a makeup lover, so I caught on quickly. I put on a long coat and boots, got Van ready, and walked to school. As what we've been doing recently, I waited for Henrietta and Bradley to leave for school and we walked with them.
"Damn," Henrietta said. "You actually look kind of cool today, no offense; you're cool for a conformist, but sometimes your style is a drag."
"I get it," I nodded. "But thanks, I appreciate it coming from a Goth Queen like yourself."
"Goth Queen? Are you trying to suck up to me?"
"No," I laughed. "You're just cool, Henrietta."
"Oh, well, thanks, I guess."
I figured nobody would notice or care that I looked this way anyways, so I was pretty excited to be myself for the first time since moving.
