DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND KELLAN AND KALLISON FLACK.

THANKS TO ALL OF THOSE ADDING ME TO ALERTS AND FAVES!

WARM WELCOME TO MRSPHAN!


Altered lives

"I just wanna be alone tonight
I just wanna take a little breather
'Cause lately all we do is fight
And every time it cuts me deeper
'Cause something's changed
You've been acting so strange
And it's taking it's toll on me
It's safe to say that I'm ready to let you leave
Without you, I live it up a little more everyday
Without you, I'm seein' myself so differently
I didn't wanna believe it then
But it all worked out in the end
When I watched you walk away
Well I never thought I'd say
I'm fine
Without you
Called you up cause' it's been long enough
And you said that you were so much better
We have done a lot of growing up
We were never meant to be together
'Cause something changed, you were acting so strange
And it's taken it's toll on
me It's safe to say that I'm ready to let you leave."
-Without You, Hinder


Adam Ross paused in the doorway of his sister's kitchen, a smile cutting through his gloom at the sight that greeted him. His adorable nieces, the lights of his life aside from his own children, chatting in their high pitched, mouse like voices, their musical giggles filling the entire house. Kallison, with her silky black hair tumbling down her back and clad in a neon pink pyjama set emblazoned with pictures of Hello Kitty and shimmering pink socks on her feet, sat at the Dora the Explorer table with Amanda Messer. Danny and Lindsay's little girl, in pyjamas that matched Kallison's, with her curls wild and unruly and her eyes sparkling as she smiled and laughed, was a miniature version of her mother. Bubbly and down to earth, she made friends easily and was affectionate to a fault. She thought nothing of talking to strangers and begged and pleaded with her parents to let her take home any stray animal that crossed her path.

Kellan, in her bare feet -with the toe nails painted a sparkling silver- and a Strawberry Shortcake night shirt, stood on a chair that had been pulled away from the kitchen table and placed at the island in the middle of the room, watching intently and chatting incessantly as her mother prepared bowls of various fresh and canned fruit. Her beloved Holly Hobby doll tucked securely under her arm and her long hair pulled back into a high pony tail. Showing off the tiny gold hoops that took up residence in the lobes of ears.

"You know what daddy?" Kallison asked, titled her head back to look at her father as he prepared pancakes at the stove.

"What, pumpkin?" Flack inquired. He looked, and sounded as if he could sleep for a week straight. His face was still unshaven and he wore the same clothes he'd picked Adam up in hours before.

"When I get married, I want a rich husband," his daughter informed him.

Sam smirked as she moved to the stove to grab a bright orange plastic plate where a sole pancake waited her attention. She paused and curled an arm around her husband's waist and hugged him to her. "Don't we all," she said in response to Kallison's announcement.

"Your mom wanted a rich guy too," Flack told their daughter. "Only somewhere between nailing herself a CEO of some major company who could buy her a Bentley and put her in designer clothes and pay for her to live in a penthouse on the upper west side, she met a guy that drove a used SUV, had barely two hundred bucks in the bank, and worked for the city."

"Such a tough existence," Sam teased him. "I don't know how I have managed this long."

"Sometimes we have to settle for what we get," Flack said. "I mean I wanted a wife that cooks and cleans and I got…well look what I got…"

"That's mean!" Sam cried and pinched his stomach playfully. "You're mean. I cook. I clean."

"Dusting and vacuuming once a month does not qualify as cleaning," he teased. "And I don't exactly consider being able to warm things up in the microwave or putting frozen stuff in the oven or calling for take out cooking."

"You are so nasty," she declared, then giggled as he reached around and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her tight into his side. "Why are you so nasty to me, Donnie?" she asked, as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "What have I done to deserve this treatment? I'll have you know that I'm amazingly wicked at two things."

"What two things are those?" he asked curiously. "Enlighten me."

"I'll have you know that I make wicked pancake people," Sam informed her husband. "And I give you wicked…"

Reaching for a bowl of sliced strawberries that sat on the counter beside the stove, Flack plucked out one of the berries and quickly deposited into his wife's mouth. "Keep that last part to yourself, okay?"

She giggled and chewed on the piece of fruit in her mouth. "What did you think I was going to say?"

"I know what you were going to say. And you shouldn't even be thinking those things with the kids in the room let alone actually saying them."

"I was just going to say that I give you wicked back rubs," Sam said.

Flack laughed. "Give me a break. That was not what you are going to say and you know it."

"I will never admit or deny that," she said, smiling up at him, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

He returned her smiled and kissed her softly.

"Ewww…" Kallison wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Mommy and daddy are kissing again."

"They're always kissing." Kellan informed her sister. "It's where babies come from, 'member? So if they kiss a lot we might get a baby brother or sister."

Adam couldn't help but laugh out loud at that. He knew -as did anyone that was remotely close to the twins- that Kellan and Kallison possessed an obsession of sorts with wanting a sibling. And no matter how many time they were told it would never happen and no matter how elaborate or simple the explanation as to why, the girls could just not accept the fact that there'd be no baby brother or sister in their future.

He felt it was a shame that Flack and Sam hadn't been able to have more kids. They loved their beautiful, amazing daughters to the ends of the earth and took damn good care of them. If anyone deserved a huge, happy family, especially after surviving their own less than stellar childhoods, it was the two of them.

It was weird, in a sense, to see the 'second life' of Detective Don Flack. Every time he saw his brother in law in husband and daddy mode, Adam was always taken back at the startling difference between the personal Flack and the work Flack. While he still possessed his quick wit and blistering sarcasm, off the clock Flack was gentle and compassionate and possessed apparent infinite patience. He could style his girls' hair if the need arose. He put together dollhouses and wasn't above taking part in a tea party or sitting down with his daughters and playing make believe with their Barbie and their assortment of My Little Ponies. He was a loving and attentive husband and father and it was amazing at how domesticate the one self proclaimed bachelor for life had become. It was a side to him that very few people saw. And despite his initial reservations years ago in regards to the relationship, Adam was glad, and relieved, that his sister had found someone that loved her wholly and unconditionally and who took suck good care of her.

His laughter caught the attention of the children in the room. And his heart felt a hundred pounds lighter and his day considerably brightened as he saw the way the girls' faces lit up and their eyes sparkled with excitement as they looked over at him.

"Uncle Peanut!" the twins cried in unison. Kallison's chair went toppling over as she jumped to her feet and rushed towards him. Kellan, struggling to climb down off of the big chair, got a helping hand from her mother and soon followed behind her sister, scampering through the kitchen and towards her uncle.

"Why are you here, Uncle Peanut?…Did you have to come home and catch bad guys with daddy?…Are you happy to see us?…Did you miss us?…Did you miss us bunches Uncle Peanut?"

The girls bombarded him with innocent, relentless questions as he showered them with hugs and kisses. He answered their queries the best he could, making an excuse that Papa Mac needed him home earlier then expected. He hated lying to them, but his main goal at the moment was to keep his nieces out of the mess that was his quickly disintegrating life.

"I missed you Uncle Peanut!" Kellan exclaimed, as Adam tossed her high in the air and caught her tiny body effortlessly. "I missed you at Christmas! You always open presents with us on Christmas morning! Since we were babies! You always sleep over with Auntie Paisley and Octavia and Sebastian. I was sad when you didn't sleep over this year."

"You were sad were you?" he asked, running a hand over her silky hair and pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he carried her back to her chair.

"Really, really, really sad," Kellan replied, and flashed him a huge, dramatic pout.

"Well will it make you really, really, really happy if I tell you that I'll sleep over every Christmas Eve for forever and ever?" he asked, as he deposited her onto the chair at the island.

She nodded excitedly.

"And would it make you even happier if I told you that I brought you lots of things back from Disney World?"

"You did?!" Kellan squealed, her eyes and nose crinkling as she beamed.

Adam nodded.

"Me too?" Kallison asked curiously. "Did you bring me lots of stuff too, Uncle Peanut?"

"Of course I did," he assured her, then scooped Amanda up into his arms as she stood, waiting patiently beside him to get her own hugs and kisses.

He was extremely close to all of Danny and Lindsay's kids, but had a definite soft spot for Amanda. He'd been the one to personally rush Lindsay to the hospital when her water had broken, a month and a half before her due date, in the middle of the trace lab. By the time that they'd arrived at Trinity General's ER, the baby had already been crowning. There'd been no time to even get Lindsay up to labour and delivery. And after the nurses shoved Adam into a medical gown, all the while mistaken him for the baby's father, he'd been the one at Lindsay Messer's side as she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl right there in the middle of the packed and noisy emergency room.

He'd been a nervous wreck. It had only taken fifteen minutes to get that baby out, but to Adam it had felt like a lifetime. And before he had had a chance to catch his breath or wipe his brow, a doctor was asking if he wanted to cut the cord. He had moved in an almost a dream like state. Hearing nothing and everything all at once. He'd severed the cord and had the baby thrust into his arms before he managed to regain his capability of speech and tell the medical staff he wasn't the father. He'd placed the tightly swaddled bundle into her mother's arms and had used his fingertips to gently brush tears of relief and joy off of Lindsay's cheeks as she swooned over her newborn daughter.

And then Lindsay had turned her big, brown eyes up at him and gave a soft, loving smile. "This is Amanda," she'd told him. "Amanda, meet your Uncle Adam."

That moment was blazed into Adam Ross' memory. And since then, he'd developed a strong bond with that little girl. Not nearly as strong as the one he shared with his nieces or his own children, but powerful nonetheless.

"I brought you all stuff," Adam said, pressing a kiss to Amanda's temple.

"Even me?" Amanda asked.

"You didn't think I was going to forget one of my best girls did you?" he inquired. "I'd never forget about you M&M."

"What did you bring us Uncle Peanut?" Kallison asked. "Can we see?"

"Just what you and your sister need," Flack mumbled, loud enough for only his wife to hear. "More Disney Princess crap."

"You wouldn't be complaining if they were boys and everyone bought them New York Rangers stuff," Sam remarked, as she moved to the fridge and opened it.

"I wouldn't complain if people bought them all that stuff with them being girls either," Flack informed his wife.

"Sorry, honey," Sam said, as she took a pitcher of orange and banana flavoured juice out of the fridge and shut the door. "Your daughters are girly girls. Time to get used to the fact that neither will be asking you to do their rooms up in Rangers red, white and blue or in some kind of sports theme. Not going to happen."

"Hey, they're only five. There's still time," Flack told her.

"Not going to happen," Sam repeated, as she carried the juice to the counter and grabbed plastic cups from the cupboard by the sink.

"Damn you for not being more masculine," he complained as he dropped pancakes onto various plates lined up on the counter alongside the stove.

"What did you want?" she laughed. "A girl that was into ultimate fighting and WWE wrestling? Who'd sit on the couch with you in baggy sweats and a t-shirt and chow down on pizza and wings and beer with you? Who'd make fart jokes and burp the national anthem out alongside of you? Would you rather I scratched my crotch and picked my nose in public and didn't shave my legs and armpits for months on end?"

"Okay…that's just taking things a little too far," Flack informed her. "I said a little more masculine. Not a complete slob. And you already watch ultimate fighting and wrestling with me."

"Only because I love Chuck Lidell and I think that Randy Orton is a major hottie," Sam defended herself.

Flack snorted.

"I base all my television watching on how attractive I find the men on certain programs," she said. "Why do you think Linds and I watch that one crime show every Wednesday night without fail? 'Cause almost every guy on there is eye candy. You think we actually watch it for the poorly written scripts and lame attempts at romance?"

"Don't need to when you get lame attempts at romance at home," he teased her, as he carried three plastic plates with a single pancake on each to the Dora Explorer table and arranged them at the girls' places.

"Like you have a reason to complain," Sam scoffed. "Puh-leeze."

"Lame romance is better than none at all," Flack reasoned. "Ladies…breakfast. Quit bugging your Uncle Adam. I'm sure he needs at least one cup of coffee to function at at least ten percent."

"But we want to see what Uncle Peanut brought us from Disney World, daddy!" Kallison protested, as she and Amanda reluctantly slipped into their chairs while Adam took a seat at the big table.

"And you can see what he brought you after breakfast," Flack told her, walking over to where she stood on the chair at the island and holding his arms out. "Come on, Kellan, you too."

"I hope Uncle Peanut brought me mouse ears!" she cried, as she jumped into her father's strong, waiting arms. "Mouse ears with my name on them!"

"You never now," Flack told her, as he carried her to the Dora table and gently dropped her into her chair. "But you won't ever find out what he brought if you don't sit down and eat your breakfast. Mommy will make pancake people for you guys. Okay? Who wants more juice?"

Three tiny arms shot up into the air.

"The women in this house are so demanding," Flack complained and went to collect the pitcher of juice.

"I hope you did bring them mouse ears." Sam whispered to her brother, as she set a cup of steaming coffee down in front of him. "It's all they've been talking about."

"No worries," Adam assured her. "It was the first thing I bought when I got there. And then the more shops I browsed in, the more I saw that they would like and…well let's just say I am dreading the MasterCard bill when it comes in at the end of the month."

"You spoil them too much," Sam scolded him.

"I can't help it. They're my nieces. And M&M is like a niece to me. I love buying them stuff. You know that. I even bought Flack something."

"Not mouse ears I hope," Sam laughed. "He'd kill you."

"I value my life, thank you. I just saw some really cool golf balls and tees and the towels you carry around in your golf bag. And I know that since you bought him new clubs for Christmas, he could use some of that stuff. And then there's you…"

Her eyes lit up as she smiled. "You bought me something too?" she asked in surprise.

"Are you not my sister?" Adam inquired. "Are you not my Sammie?"

"I am," she said, and tousling his hair, took his face in her hands and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Adam smiled and pecked her cheek and sipped his strong, hot coffee as he watched her head back to the island. Wondering when his sister had gone from an insecure, frightened little girl into a confident, mature and beautiful woman.

"Okay…" Sam carried bowls of fruit to the Dora table. "Who wants what? We have banana slices, blueberries, strawberries, cantaloupe and sliced peaches."

"Make mine first, mommy!" Kellan cried. "You made Kallison's first last time! Make mine like you always make it!"

"How come Amanda gets to make her own and we don't?" inquired Kallison, as she watched her cousin begin creating her own masterpiece.

"Because Amanda is capable of not making a huge mess," Sam replied, as she used two banana slices to make eyes, followed by a slice of cantaloupe for the smile. She added a sliced strawberry on either side of the head for ears, and blueberries as earrings. She grabbed the bottle of syrup sitting in the middle of the table, and squirted the sticky substance onto the plate to create hair.

"It's perfect!" Kellan gushed. "Thank you, mommy!"

"You're welcome," she pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter's head before moving along to Kallison's place to help her out.

Flack poured himself a cup of coffee and carried it to the kitchen table. Pulling out a chair across from his brother in law, he sighed heavily as plopped into the seat and rubbed at his weary eyes. "Can you honestly believe this is my life?" he asked Adam. "How'd I go from trolling the bars until three am on Saturday nights to making pancake people?"

"You met this feisty Brooklyn girl that you just could not resist," Adam reasoned.

"She must have slipped something into my coffee her first day on the job," Flack joked. "Some kind of odourless, tasteless drug that would just hook me and keep me around."

"Yep…that's it," Sam said, overhearing the conversation. "I've been slipping massive hits of GHB into your beverages morning, noon and night for the past eight years."

"It's love, baby," Flack told her, sipping his coffee as he watched her finish with their daughters and head over to the stove. "Nothing but pure, honest to goodness love."

"Which started out as pure, honest to goodness lust," she laughed, winking at him over her shoulder before dropping two pancakes -one each- onto plastic plates sitting by the stove.

"You will never get me to admit that," he told her.

"You don't have to," she teased, as she carried one of the pancakes to the Dora table. "Anyone who knows you knows how you think. And you think with your…"

"Please do not finish that sentence," Adam begged.

She just grinned, and leaning over, hurriedly created a pancake person before whispering something into Kellan's ear.

"Okay, mommy!" she chirped, as Sam pulled her chair out for her and she stood up and accepted the plate from her mother. "Here, Uncle Peanut!" she exclaimed, as she carefully carried the pancake person across the kitchen to the big table. "Mommy made this one for you."

"Thank you," Adam gushed, pressing a kiss to his niece's cheek before taking the plate from her. Grinning as he saw that his sister had made good on her earlier promise to make a Paisley pancake. With a chopped up strawberry serving as a bullet hole as opposed to strawberry jam.

"You are all sorts of twisted," Flack informed his wife as she balanced a fork and knife on her own plate in own hand and a cup of juice in the other and carried them to the big table.

She shrugged and set her breakfast on the table before plopping down onto his lap. Curling an arm around his neck, she pressed a noisy kiss to his cheek. "You'd miss my warped sense of humour if I suddenly wasn't around anymore," she informed him.

"What I would miss most is the laughs I get at your expense," he teased her, running a hand over her hair. "I would not miss you talking about cow tipping in your sleep at two in the morning. I don't know what you ate before bed or what you saw on television that would make you think about tipping over sleeping cows, but you were laughing away and going on and on about it in your sleep."

"I think it's those new meds," she reasoned, as she leaned forward and picked up her fork and knife. "They're making me think about screwy things."

"I doubt it's the meds," Adam told her, as he got up to fetch his own cutlery. "Because you were like that before you started talking them."

Flack laughed.

Sam narrowed her eyes at her brother as he sat back down. "No comments from the peanut gallery!" she ordered.

Adam chuckled and held his hands up in surrender.

"You are right about something though, babe," Flack said, placing a soft kiss to his wife's ear and rubbing her back gently. "I would miss you if you suddenly weren't around anymore."

She smiled brightly and kissed him long and soft. "I had you from hello," she declared.

"Actually you had me from, 'Who the hell do you think you're talking to blue eyes?'," Flack laughed. "If I do remember correctly, those were the very first words you said to me when we met."

"You thought I was some lab tech you could boss around!" Sam cried. "You walked into trace like you thought were King Shit and demanded I come up with answers for you on the spot. You were a total ass to me!"

"In my defence it had been a horrible morning," Flack said. "It was a hundred degrees by the time nine rolled around and I had spent nearly two hours down at the docks. In the blazing sun. Where it smelled as if someone had dumped a whole load of rotten eggs. I wasn't in the most pleasant of moods."

"Well you learned right quick not to mess with me," she laughed. "And yet you still kept coming around for more."

"I like being tortured by beautiful women," he reasoned. "You were my weakness right from day one."

"I think your weakness was the tattoo on my back and the fact I had a tongue ring," Sam said.

"Well…yeah…but you should have really worn a longer shirt so I wouldn't notice that tattoo every time you bent down."

"Yeah? And you shouldn't have been looking at my ass every chance you got. If you hadn't have been checking out my ass, you wouldn't have ever noticed the tattoo."

Flack frowned. "Do you have to win every argument?"

She smiled and sipped her juice and nodded.

"So I was drawn to your butt," he admitted. "But can I help it if you've got some serious junk in the trunk?"

"Excuse me?!" she laughed. "Junk in the trunk? Are you channelling Malcolm from the Y and R from decades ago with that? And are you insinuating that my butt is big?"

"I am saying that you have a great butt," he defended himself. "And yeah…I watched the Y and R once and I still remember him saying that."

"You need to get out more," Sam told him. "Get yourself some friends. A hobby or something."

"My hobby is catering to your every whim and making you happy," Flack said. "You know that."

She grinned and gave him a short and sweet kiss.

Adam smiled as he watched them from across the table. The love that filled their eyes and registered on their faces every time they so as much looked at each other. The way they teased each other playfully and were totally comfortable with each other. Two halves of the same whole. And while Adam knew that he loved Paisley and she had, at one time loved him, it wasn't the same kind of love that his sister had managed to capture in her life.

That kind of love was rare. Something everyone wanted.

But seldom found.


"How come Uncle Peanut and mommy didn't want to come to the park, daddy?" Kallison asked curiously, as she sat in the middle of her sister and Amanda. The three girls, bundled up warmly in their snowsuits, scarves, hats and mitts, were placed on behind the other in the sled as her father pulled them through the heavy, snow.

"It's too cold out for mommy," Flack replied, thankful that he'd been smart enough to yank a navy blue wool NYPD hat over his head and grab some gloves before loading the girls into the old fashioned Radio Flyer red wagon that could, and had been, converted into a sleigh for the winter months. He had agreed to take the girls to the park while his wife and brother talked in a quiet and peaceful house. "When it's too cold out, her ouchies might act up. And Uncle Peanut was too tired from his trip home."

"Is Uncle Peanut going to live with us?" Kellan asked curiously, then turned her face skywards. Closing her eyes, she giggled as snowflakes fell on her face and tickled her nose and cheeks.

"For a little while." her dad answered.

"How come he's going to live with us?" Kallison asked, as she attempted to catch snowflakes on her tongue.

"Is Uncle Peanut and Auntie Paisley getting a diborce?" her sister inquired curiously.

"No one is getting a divorce," Flack informed her. "Uncle Peanut and Auntie Paisley aren't getting along right now so he needs to come and stay with us for a bit."

"Are they fighting?" Amanda asked.

"What are they fighting about?" Kellan wanted to know. "Does Uncle Adam have a girlfriend like you did daddy? Is that what they're fighting about?"

He sighed heavily, once again wishing he could go back and time and do things all over again. To rid his life of the colassol mistake that was Jordan Gates. "Uncle Adam does not have a girlfriend," he said. "He and Auntie Paisley are just fighting. I don't know about what. They just are."

"Is he going to stay with us forever?" asked Kallison.

"I don't know how long he's going stay with us, Pumpkin Eater. We'll just have to wait and see."

"I hope Uncle Peanut stays with us forever!" Kellan exclaimed. "That would be fun if he stayed with us forever. Don't you think, daddy?"

"It's up to Uncle Peanut how long he wants to stay," her father told her. "Let's just wait until Auntie Paisley and the kids get back to see if her and Uncle Peanut are going to keep fighting. Okay?"

"Is that why Uncle Peanut is sad?" Kellan inquired. "'Cause they're fighting? Is he sad 'cause he can't live with his kids, daddy?"

"I guess so," Flack replied.

"Were you sad, daddy?" Kallison asked. "When you didn't live with us? Were you sad?"

"Of course I was sad. Really sad. I missed you guys. I didn't want to live somewhere different. I wanted to be with you two and mommy."

"Then why did you make Auntie B mad, Uncle Donnie?" Amanda wondered aloud. "Why did you make her cry? If it made you sad to live somewhere else why did you have a girlfriend? Daddies aren't suppose to have girlfriends. They're just suppose to be with mommies."

He smirked. "Sometimes mommies and daddies do stupid things," he said. "Stupid things to hurt each other."

"Why?" Kellan asked.

"Because they do. Because they think that things are better somewhere else. That their lives can be better. And then they do something stupid and realize that they were wrong. That they never should have thought that the grass was greener on the other side. And then sometimes, even though they get into really bad fights and do stupid things, mommies and daddies get back together."

"I'm glad that you and mommy got back together," Kallison declared. "I was sad, daddy. I missed you."

"I missed you guys, too," he said. "And that's why mommy and I try not to fight so much anymore. Because it's not nice to fight and it's not right that you guys see and hear stuff like that. 'Cause you and your sister are the most important things in the world to us."

"So you won't ever have a girlfriend again?" Kellan asked.

"Never," Flack responded. "Ever. I love your mommy and I love you guys. I did something stupid and I promised mommy that I'd never do it again."

"I hope you don't do anything stupid ever again!" Kallison exclaimed. "It's not nice, daddy. It's bad."

"I know," he sighed. "But everyone deserves a second chance when they get in trouble right?"

"Right!" cried Kellan. "We always get a second chance when we do bad things. Even if we do have to stay in our rooms for a bit if we hide our peas under our napkins at dinner time and we feed our veggies to Wiener."

Flack laughed. "You guys have to eat your veggies," he told them.

"YUCK!" Kellan grimaced. "I hate veggies. Veggies are gross."

"Pukey gross," her sister chimed in.

"Why can't we have more ice cream?" Kellan asked. "I love ice cream."

"Doesn't work that way," her dad told her. "You have to eat all your veggies so you grow up big and strong. So you can beat boys up on the playground."

"Kallie already does that!" Amanda giggled. "She's always beating up on my brother!"

"And then she holds his hand and plays kissy face under the slide," Kellan added.

Flack cast a glance over his shoulder, his eyes focusing in on his one twin. "You do what now?"

"Dan-Dan is my boyfriend," Kallison informed him.

"He is?"

She nodded. "We're going to get married and have babies when we're older," she said. "But I told him that I want a rich husband so he has to get a really, really good job."

"You're five," Flack told her.

"I can still plan for my future," she reasoned.

He smirked at that. "You're too much like your mother," he informed Kallison.

"Smart like mommy and cute like daddy," Kellan sing-songed. "That's what you taught us! 'Member, daddy?"

"I'm starting to wish you'd gotten your smarts from me," he grumbled as he trudged through the snow.


"So…" Sam plopped down beside her brother on the couch in the family room, a steaming cup of lemon tea in her hands and an open bag of Oreo cookies between them. "Spill. What in the hell is going on between you and Paisley?"

Adam sighed heavily and stared at the television that was tuned in to CNN. His eyes riveted on the headlines that scrolled across the bottom of the screen.

"You can't avoid talking about it forever, Peanut," she said, as she settled her mug between her thighs and reached for a cookie. "Do you really think Donnie took the kids out in the snow for shits and giggles? That he really wants to be at the park in this weather? He did it to give us time to talk without fifty million interruptions."

"I figured that. But I thought maybe he was giving us some alone time so I could give you shit about not taking better care of yourself."

Sam frowned as she pried apart her Oreo. "What's that suppose to mean?" she asked.

"It means that you think it means. Why didn't you tell me that you were still having those headaches? That your eyesight was bothering you all the time? When I called you when we got to Florida, you told me that you were feeling fine. And then I find out that you were bullshitting me."

"I was feeling fine," she shrugged. "At that time anyway."

Adam shook his head. "You should have called me and told me you were sick," he said.

"I am not sick." Sam informed him. "I am far from sick. I'm just having wicked headaches and some issues with my eyesight. No big deal."

Adam stared at her. "No big deal? Are you serious? You actually think that's no big deal?"

She didn't respond.

"You have a husband and two little kids!" Adam huffed. "You have nieces and nephews! You have me! To us it's a pretty goddamn big deal! We don't want anything happening to you. What would Flack and the girls do without you?"

"Don's a strong person," she said. "He'd be fine. He'd grieve and then he'd pick himself up and take care of the girls. They'd all be fine."

"What is wrong with you?" Adam nearly shouted at her. "Are you hearing yourself?! They'd be fine? They'd be far from fine if something happened to you! How can it be so black and white to you? He's your husband! The father of your kids? Do you realize how much he loves you and worships you? How much those little girls adore you and rely on their mommy to be around? How can you just sit there and tell me they'll be fine without you?"

"Because they will be…and who says anything is going to happen to me anyway? Why are you being so fatalistic?"

"I'm being fatalistic?" Adam laughed. "There's the pot calling the kettle black. Why didn't you tell me that you weren't feeling well?"

"Because I didn't want to worry you. Okay? I didn't want you to get all worried and stressed out while you were on vacation. Because they're just headaches and I'm going to the doctor about them. It's not a huge issue, Adam. I am getting myself taken care of and once they figure out that all of this bullshit is caused by stress, I'll find a way to take care of myself and I'll be as good as new again."

"And if you're not?" he asked. "If it's not just stress?"

"It is," she replied. "I am not dying. I don't have some fatal, incurable disease. I'm just stressed out because of losing my job and once I get seen by the specialist and we get settled in New Jersey, I'll be fine. Relax."

He snorted and shook his head.

"And you aren't here to talk about me and my problems," Sam informed him. "I am so sick and tired of everyone putting my issues at the forefront of everything. You came back to New York and are living in my house because something happened to you. And you're my brother and I have a right to know what is going on."

"Don't worry about," Adam sighed.

"Don't worry about it…" she huffed and snatched the remote control from his hand and flicked off the television. "I am going to worry about it," she said, tucking the remote under the cushion she sat on. "I am going to worry because you are my brother. You are my brother and this is my house and it was my husband who left the house at an ungodly hour to pick you up at the airport and bring you here. You're sleeping in my guest room and eating my food so you bloody better well tell me what is going on."

"I'll pay you room and board," Adam grumbled.

Sam frowned and hauled off and smacked him upside the head. "Don't be smart with me! I didn't say that 'cause I want you to pay rent! I said it to make you realize that you are my business! What is wrong with you?"

"Oww…" Adam rubbed at the back of his head. "Did you really have to go all Gibbs style on me?"

"What the hell happened between you and Paisley?" Sam snapped. "You said earlier she left you. Why? What is going on?"

"I can't believe you're resorting to violence," Adam muttered.

"Do not test my patience," Sam warned.

"I don't know, okay? She just told me yesterday that she didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be with me. That our marriage was over. What more is there to tell you?"

"She didn't give you an explanation to why she felt that way?"

"Sammie, I just told you that she said she didn't love me anymore. In fact, she said she hadn't love me for a long time. What more of an explanation do you need?"

"You just don't fall out of love with someone, Adam," his sister reasoned. "There has to be a reason why that happens."

"I don't know the reason! It's just what she said!"

"You didn't ask her?"

"No. I didn't. I was too busy picking myself up off of the floor and picking up the pieces of my shattered heart to think about asking her why she was being such a cold hearted bitch. I was stunned, okay? 'Cause just hours before, everything seemed great between us. She didn't seem any different to me at all. So excuse me for being a little shell shocked by hearing something like that!"

"And you never noticed that things were different between you two or…"

"Did you not just fucking hear me?!" Adam yelled at her.

Sam blinked, taken back by his behaviour.

He sighed heavily and put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "I'm sorry…" he said after several long minutes. "I didn't mean to freak on you like that… I just…I'm a little freaked out over this…"

"I know…" Sam said, and reached out and rubbed his back softly. "It's a bitter pill to swallow when you hear someone say mean things like that. Especially someone you love. I'm sorry, Peanut. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Of all the people in the world, you're the one who definitely does not deserve this."

"It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and someone kicked me in the gut," he told her. "Like I'm walking around in this nightmare just begging for someone to wake me up and it's never going to happen."

Sam just nodded in understanding.

"How did you do it?" he asked, removing his face from his hands and turning his tear filled eyes towards her.

"Do what?" she inquired, stroking his shoulders.

"How did you forgive Flack for what he did to you? For cheating on you like that?"

She shrugged. "I did it because I love him," she answered. "I did it because he's my entire world and I can't imagine my life without him. Because I was to blame too. It wasn't just Don. There was a lot of stress around here and he reacted to it. He reacted badly, but in a way I was pushing him in the direction that he went. He's the father of my children, Adam. And they didn't deserve to have their lives ripped apart, to have him yanked away from them because we couldn't get our shit together."

"You didn't deserve to have your husband cheat on you. He cheated on you for three months!"

"I may not have deserved it, but he was under a lot of stress both at home and at work. And I was pushing him away and I wasn't being the kind of wife that both of us needed me to be. It wasn't just his fault. And when I finally stopped being angry long enough to realize that, and to realize that he had every intention of coming clean to me and never got the chance, I was able to start forgiving him. I'll never completely forgive him. And I'll never forget. But I love him. There's never been a time I didn't love him."

"So you're saying that I should just suck it up and forgive Paisley for what she said?"

Sam shook her head, and picking up her mug, leaned forward to place it on the coffee table. "Don and mine's situation was completely different. He never said those types of things to me. He's said some mean things, but believe me, I give back ten fold. But we've never, ever told each other we regretted getting married or that we didn't love one another."

Adam sighed heavily and shook his head. "I don't know what to do…what should I do?"

"No one can tell you that," Sam said. "Only your heart can tell you that. Right now, you need some time to get over the shock of what's gone down. You're in no shape to deal with anything to do with Paisley right now. Donnie and I will help you as much as we can. Whatever you need. You know that, right?"

Adam nodded.

Sam smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You'll be alright, Peanut…" she whispered, and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, drew him tightly into her. "You'll be alright."

He sniffled noisily and curled both arms around her slender body and closed his eyes as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"You'll be alright," she promised, stroking his hair softly.

"I hope so," he whispered, and broke down into unabashed, gut wrenching sobs.

Sam fought back tears of her own as she tightened her hold on her brother and rocked back and forth, comforting him the way a mother would do her frightened or injured child.

And she hoped, with all of her heart, that he would make it through.

That he would be alright.


Thanks to everyone that is reading and reviewing! I appreciate each and every one of you! Even all the lurkers. Please R and R folks!

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