Sorry, my bad for not updating sooner. I've not had the time to write much recently. The bigs plans will also continue into chapter 11, where you will finally discover the nature of the Lizard Pebble.

Thanks very much to my fabulous reviewers: Booklover13, The Clang, I.K.A. Valian, I.K.A. Valian and QuinKilo1055 YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME and I really appreciated every single review I get! But am always greedy for more! Hope you enjoy the latest instalment as much as I have enjoyed writing it...


Chapter Ten

The sun shone with a peaceful kind of haziness as it filtered through the green branches on the edge of the vast Kokiri forest. Few travellers ever ventured into the peaceful, leafy expanse though – for it was known that those who crossed the threshold into the void ever returned. It was not called the Lost Woods without reason.

Somehow Zelda knew that Link would not even give the cryptic warning of "Turn Ye Back, Lest Ye Regret Thy Footfall" found on the faded little signpost pointing in the direction of a hollowed out tree trunk leading into the gloom any attention. Sure enough, she noticed that he didn't even glance at the sign as he strolled past, whistling in an off-key and highly irritating manner. She glared at his scruffily clothed back and rolled her eyes. For three days they had trudged across Hyrule, apparently on a desperate quest to find Link's pet, but she had yet to see any real evidence of this. In fact, she believed that they were wandering around in circles and if she had not seen Link glance at a paper in his hand every now and then (the same paper he refused to let her view) she would have thought they were lost.

She was coming to the appalling conclusion that he was amusing himself at her expense.

Of course, she could just object to this treatment, demand to be taken to Impa and moan until he did what she asked, but somehow she guessed that such an attempt would wear her out much sooner than it would ever effect him. Indeed, she would have spent the afternoon glaring at his back, quietly seething in a manner worthy of Impa herself, had she not found him so disarmingly amusing. So instead, she contented herself by passing her time thinking of suitable revenge against the madman she had latched herself on to.

To give Link his due, she had decided, once she had recovered from being dazzled in the light of the early morning sun on that first day they had escaped from the castle, that he really was handsome. He had shining brown-blond hair, which needed cutting since it fell over her face in a highly disorganised manner, and large innocent blue eyes, which were all too often filled with mischief. His face was beautiful, his smile alluring, his manner disastrously charming and his body tall and lithe. Generally, she decided she would appreciate having such a glamorous companion, were it not for his rather unfortunate predilection for ridiculous ventures and the alarming number of 'accidents' he seemed to have.

Although they had only travelled for three days together, in that short space of time she had pretty much got his measure. On escaping the castle, they went to the nearby Castle Town. Instead of keeping a low profile there (to avoid the Gerudo who would surely be searching for them) Link's first thought was that he 'had to have that mask'.

"That mask" was a particularly grotesque pig-face affair, with scary red eyes. It was the first thing they saw as they entered the town and it was displayed in pride of place in the window of the happy mask shop. The thought of owning it possessed him and, sure enough, in a surprisingly short space of time, he had managed to steal the happy mask salesman's favourite mask (Link insisted he had merely borrowed it), he then put it to good use by chasing some hapless cuccos around the town, frightening two little girls in the process. He had then placated their respective mothers by flirting outrageously with them, and allowing them to pet his hair and mother him.

If that wasn't enough, he had then visited some old flirt he had in a ranch (armed with some flowers he had again 'borrowed' from some old mans window box) and had coerced her into lending him a horse.

Once he had the horse, he got progressively worse. He challenged the girl's uncle to a race, and won (as far as Zelda could tell), by spooking his opponents horse by 'accidentally' dropping a deku nut in front of it. Instead of penalising him for such outrageous behaviour, the ranch girl had rewarded him – by indefinitely loaning him the horse and making him a hamper full of, from what Zelda could tell, the entire contents of her larder. He had then decreed that, since he now had a horse, he was clearly a knight in shining armour and had proceeded to behave in the most bizarre manner, speaking in some kind of hackneyed ancient Hylian dialect, and calling Zelda either his 'serf' or 'lady fair', depending on how the mood took him. They returned to castle town soon after this.

Day two was even worse. He had started the day by conning a shopkeeper into giving him a brand new bow and arrow, flirted a free dinner out of some dazzled teenage girls, 'loaned' half a barrel of ale from a local tavern (which he had used to bribe a local innkeeper into giving Zelda and him free accommodation for life) and had accepted at least five separate job offers, none of which he had any intention of completing.

Dragged about on these ventures, Zelda began to feel somewhat exhausted. But Link was not finished. By the end of that second evening of loitering about, he had managed to exchange a lock of Zelda's beautiful hair for a hat, which he swapped for a pendant, which he swapped for a cucoo, which he swapped for rather nifty leather sack, which was now crammed full with his latest possessions, all obtained through the medium of trade. He had acquired the lock of Zelda's hair by 'accidentally' tripping over whilst armed with a pair of scissors. He had then charmed his companion out of her absolute fury by displaying to full advantage his seal-eyes and absolute repentance, appealing to her gentler self - a gentler self that was rapidly evaporating in a cloud of exasperated fury.

And on the third day, when Zelda attempted to draw her wayward companion's attention to the matter at hand – namely the whereabouts of his pet, Link had then innocently asked every person he came across whether they had seen a large rabid wolf roaming about anywhere. The usual reaction to this question was panic and instead of allaying his audience's fears about rabid wolves and what pandemonium they could cause, Link would assure them that his pet was quite harmless, only she could be a little odd when she was frightened so if they did see her, they'd better keep about ten paces back, and keep perfectly still. Apparently Amber did not like sudden movements or strangers and was liable to "nip" if confronted with either terrible thing. Link would then show them one of his scars and explain that his precious pet had done that when he had knocked over a flowerpot when his doggie was sleeping one day.

As if that wasn't enough to clear the area of any hapless victims, then he had a final trick up his sleeve. He had not forgotten his companion's special ability and "accidentally" trod on her foot, making her body react by setting off a giant fireball. When he had done that, after blaming Zelda for the ensuing blaze that reduced a market stall (whose owner had earlier refused to serve Link due to his "suspicious looks") to cinders, they had been politely but firmly escorted from the town and were begged not to return.

So as they spent their third day of companionship together, Zelda was left wondering two things – one, what on earth she was doing still with him and, two, how exactly how his mind worked.

It was a question that could certainly not be determined by simply asking him. She found that if she asked him a straightforward question, for instance, 'where the heck are we going now?' he would choose to answer in either a riddle or not at all, whichever mood took him first. And she could not abandon him, not only did she not know Hyrule well enough to be able to traverse it, as Link seemed to be capable of doing, she also was uneasy on her own. It had only been a couple of weeks since she had been captured and dragged to Ganondorf's castle and she had only just lost her grandfather. Though she put a brave face of it on, she was still frightened to be alone. Nor did she have any means of defending herself. She had not been taught to fight and, although she seemed to have some magical ability, so far, only Link seemed to be able to coax her magic out of her.

Usually by 'accidentally' shocking her.

As for Link, he was sort of trying to locate his precious pet, but he wasn't putting much effort into it. He found his latest hapless victim (as he had named Zelda, although she was yet to discover her new designation) fascinating and was determined to discover more about her. It was not just because she was beautiful – with dark blue eyes, pink lips and hair like spun gold, or that he liked the way she choked when she was trying not to laugh, or that she found him amusing. Nor was it her quiet elegance and ready humour. It wasn't even that she could perform amazing tricks – all at the pinch of a finger (or the accidental treading on a toe). He wanted to know why Ganondorf had sought her out in the first place.

And if on the way, he could accidentally cause a little mayhem, then that made his life all the better.

There was another little reason why Link chose was wandering around Hyrule aimlessly, following tracks at random. It was also the reason why they had ended up at the Lost Woods anyway.

So when she asked him, for the second time, 'was he sure they really wanted to be in the Lost Woods?' he decided that perhaps he owed his companion an explanation (or admission) of sorts. His conscience wrestled with him at that point – it was not in his nature to answer questions directly, especially when it would cause more of a nuisance to remain silent, but Zelda had been very good so far that day. She had only rolled her eyes once at him (when he had asked her to zap their horse to make it go faster) and she had only been glaring at his back for the last hour or so, so he decided to make a concession, just this once, and answer her.

"Um…we might be a little bit lost." He said, with his usual cheery grin.

"A little bit lost?" Zelda repeated parrot fashion.

"Yes, in the Lost Woods too, what are the odds of that, eh?" He laughed.

Somehow his 'hapless victim' did not seem to find the thought as funny as he did. A worried frown passed over her face. "I thought you had a map?"

"I had a map." He conceded. On seeing a dangerous glint appear in her dark blue eyes, Link scratched the back of his head nervously.

"You had one? Where is it now?"

The impish smile and guileless big blue-eyed look did not work to stave off the impending wrath he could see in his companion's eyes. She looked faintly incredulous – a sure sign of all-consuming fury rising in her otherwise gentle soul. "I might have accidentally traded it yesterday." He explained.

"Oh really? So what is this magical map we've been following all day?" She asked, with deadly sarcasm. She watched, her eyes glinting vividly, as Link drew forth the piece of paper he had been referring to all morning. She snatched it from his grasp as he help it gingerly forward.

It read "Oops."

Zelda's mouth twisted as she read that single word, written surprisingly neatly right in the centre of the paper. She choked, possibly with anger, as she saw an alarmingly accurate – though very mischievous – representation of a very cross woman zapping a poor, innocent looking man wearing holey boots. Her hand slipped up to cover her mouth, possibly to hide her indignation at such an audacious image of herself.

She managed not to laugh for all of twenty seconds, and possibly would have lasted longer, if she had not looked up at Link and seen the amusement in his eyes. If he had not smirked as she choked again, she would have been fine.

"You are possibly THE worst man I have ever met in my life." She spluttered as she recovered her composure.

Link bowed in acknowledgement of the compliment. "Only possibly?" He queried, raising an eyebrow. "I guess you've not met many men before."

"I've never met anybody like you." She agreed cordially. She shook her head, and avoided meeting his eyes. Her sides were still hurting from the last bout of giggling she had suffered. "Um…if you could be serious-yes I know it's difficult for you but concentrate, Linkipoo-"

"LINKIPOO?" He exclaimed, absolutely outraged, offended and horrified by her abuse of his beloved name.

"Isn't that your name?" She asked innocently. "Lord Link Eppoo?"

"No. It's Lord Link Eipough…Eee puuu… oh." He started to laugh again. "Alright, so maybe I did make up the second name but still that does not give you any right to abuse it so…Princess."

"Princess? I am no such thing." She retorted. "And I object to you calling me such. It makes me sound like a rich little spoiled brat. And I am not rich."

"But it's a cute pet name, Princessy." Explained Link, as if that made everything all right. Evidently, he had grown immune to the power of a glare. Seeing this, Zelda shrugged elegantly and said, "Call me what you will, I care not. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. If you could be sensible for a moment, do you have any plans for what we should do now? I mean we are lost…"

"…In the lost woods." Added Link.

This aside was met with a frown. "Yes, I think we know that now. And since we've been walking into the said "Lost Woods" for the last ten minutes, following your "Map", I guess we are even more lost…"

"…in the Lost Woods." Sniggered Link.

"Oh gods, please preserve me from this idiot." Prayed Zelda loudly. She opened her eyes and glanced at her companion. "Can you please try to behave, just for once? What are we going to do? "

"Well, I did come up with one idea." He admitted after a long deliberation. Somehow his companion knew that he was not really as worried as he should be. She had an ominous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Especially when she saw the sparkling look of sheer joy shimmering in the depths of his lovely eyes. She just knew it would be bad. And it was.

"I figured that if I can't find Amber, I could get a new pet here." He answered. "And because that is my new resolve, we'll just keep walking and walking until we find a new pet that catches my eye."

"So we forget Amber and find you a new animal friend?"

"Uh-huh. I'll bet these woods are just crawling with all kind of cute creatures like Skulltulas, Deku Baba's, Stalfos, Keese and, of course, wolves. I should find a new playfellow very soon."

"Am I to be replaced by a measly keese?" She asked, sulking slightly. "And I thought you liked my companionship too..."

"You are a fabulous companion." He reassured her, "Your glare is just so cute, and the way you wallop me in the shoulder when I annoy you makes my heart sing with pure delight. And I've already given you a new pet name, so we're doing good! But a Fire Keese would be just…something special. I really want one now. So if it's alright with you, we'll just keep strolling along happily."

"Fine. Fine. You win, I lose, Lord Linkipoop. However, if that little speech was meant to scare me, it won't work, you know?" Replied Zelda serenely. "I don't think anything has the power to frighten me now."

"I know – I'm the most terrifying thing you've ever encountered." He laughed, one hand raised in acknowledgement of the verbal hit, "But fortunately for my reputation, I was not trying to scare you but whet your appetite for the delightful journey ahead."

Zelda gazed thoughtfully at him and then at the dark expanse of trees and shadows before her. The world was silent and still apart from the rustling of the wind through the high up branches in the trees and dead leaves were scattered in a thick pile at her feet. "So this delightful place is crammed to the brim with such lovlies as wolves, Skulltulas and Keese, you say?" Link nodded happily. She sighed, "I can't wait."


Given that the weather was pleasant, his companion pretty enough to make it worth his while to flirt with, and his mind no way inclined to restore her back to the judges, Link wandered around the forest aimlessly for another half hour or so. He would have been offended if it had been suggested to him that he was deliberately stalling for time. Even if it was true. He had successfully tuned out the sound of Zelda's annoyed grumbling, most of which was directed at him, and was happy enough to enjoy the sight of yet more of Hyrule.

He was somewhat irritated then, when without warning, there was an almighty should of some strange sounding tongue and a bang.

"Oh, what was that?" Squeaked Zelda, shocked out of her chunnering monologue against the whims of the gods when deciding that such a beautiful damsel in distress should find herself rescued by a man of such clear mental instability.

"Let's find out." Without waiting for his beautiful companion to agree (or not), he dashed off in the direction of the commotion. Zelda paused only to sigh at his rapidly retreating form, picked up her skirts and ran after him.

She was fortunate in that she did not have too far to run. The noise had been loud because it had been close. She had not gone more than a few hundred paces when she was confronted by what looked like a plump child clothed in green, its head bowed, dashing towards her.

The child, distracted by the various rolled up parchments it carried, and running at an alarming speed did not notice her until it was too late.

Zelda went flying through the air as the wind was knocked out of her. There was the sound of a terrific screech. She landed with an 'oof', tossing up a pile of leaves in her wake.

Momentarily stunned, she was amazed to see Link appear before he bemused gaze. She knew she must have hit her head at that moment, for all manner of pretty sparkly lights shimmered in the air around his head and she had the disturbing thought that he really was unfairly attractive. She soon recovered from this alarming emotion though as in a typical tactless manner, he smirked at her. He didn't even try to hold back his laughter.

"Where is that little brat?" She snapped as she struggled to her feet. This was accomplished rather speedily as Link saw fit to drag her up by her forearms so quickly that she almost swooned again as the blood rushed from her head.

"Fainting into my arms already, Princess? I didn't realise you liked me so much!" He chuckled as he rested his hands on her shoulders whilst her vision and senses righted themselves. She narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to continue. "Oh right, the brat." He hastily added, dropping his hands from their comfortable leaning post. His eyes lit up with unholy amusement as they quickly located the little green-clad figure, scurrying around in a dazed manner, picking up its belongings. He grinned at her as they watched, "I think you might have zapped it. What d'ya want me to do with it?" He whispered.

"Chastise it, of course."

"As you wish, Lady Fairy." He replied, bowing with mock-heroics as he did. He was pleased to see her faint smile lighting her eyes again. For a moment he had been worried about her. She was alarmingly pale.

"Fairy?" Came a high-pitched, excited and slightly irritating voice from the little green figure. They both heard the gasp of surprise and then both almost fell over with shock as the tiny figure swung around.

Zelda was the first to choke on a giggle, closely followed by her wayward companion. Of course, this was only to be expected, as she had caught his eyes at the precise moment they had started to dance with laughter.

The child had a beard.


The little man, as it now appeared to be one, was barely tall enough to reach Link's belt. He was dressed completely from head to toe in green. Apart from his boots, which were brown. Other than that he wore a green hat, green tunic, green belt, green tights, green cape and even had a green knapsack. His hair, sticking up slightly after his encounter with Zelda's unfortunate electrical abilities, was dark and had been at one point combed neatly against his odd shaped head. His beard was (at some point) elegantly curled and waxed. His chin was small, and his head strangely egg shaped. What was most worrying, of course, was that his smile was much more disturbing than any of Links and only marginally less freaky than the happy mask salesman's grin.

Dazzled by this spectacular vision, Link was speechless for a moment. This went unnoticed, however, as their new companion seemed more than willing to chatter. Before Link could even open his mouth, the little man spread his arms wide and bowed.

"Hee-hee-hee, what's that about a fairy?" He asked. Link shot a glance at Zelda and wondered how long it would be before she choked again. She was looking rather pink in the cheeks as it was. Obviously, it was incumbent on him to make the bad situation worse, so he decided on that basis to go in on an all out assault.

"Fairy?" Replied Link, "Are you interested in them?"

The little man giggled and spun around in a happy circle. Zelda began to wonder if Link had finally met somebody who could out-crazy him. His ruddy cheeks reddened a little more and he replied, in the same singy-song manner, "Tingle is the very incarnation of a fairy. Eh-hehehehe."

"I can see that." Grinned Link. "May I ask what the green garb is for though? Aren't fairies supposed to be all ethereal and clothed in beautiful white silken robes?"

"Oh no, kind sir," Laughed Tingle, "Not in this forest. In this forest the fairies dress in green."

"Oh." Link rubbed his chin thoughtfully as the thought of acquiring a pea-green tunic matched with bright orange tights flitted through his over-active imagination. "And you are one of these fairies, are you?"

Tingle sighed soulfully at this. His little dance became less energetic. "Alas, no fairy has come to Tingle." He replied. He sniffed and raised a bony finger to his eyes. "My father says at thirty-five Tingle should stop acting like a fairy and learn to be a man, but how can Tingle do that, Kind Sir, when Tingle is the very incarnation of a fairy? The VERY incarnation." His red cheeks grew purple. From his right there was the noise of a choke-hastily disguised as a cough. Link glanced in that direction and saw his companion's cheeks were too deepening in colour. He smiled sweetly at her.

"And your father doesn't see that you are a fairy?" Lamented Link. "How could he miss that?" Tingle nodded, his little beady eyes glistened with thirty-five years worth of epic tears. "The mind boggles." Added Link sincerely.

"Oh it does, it does, Kind Sir. Tingle dresses like the fairy children and acts like them but still no fairy comes to him and without a fairy, he cannot go into the Kokiri village and become a true fairy. Alas. Woe is me…"

"Is there a village ahead?" Interrupted Link.

"Eee-heheheh, of course there is a village." Answered Tingle. He forgot his dirge on an unfulfilled life as he giggled and spun in a circle, his arms open so wide that he nearly whacked Zelda as they passed. When he had stopped his aimless dance, Tingle grinned back up at Link and said, "Tingle could show you the way but it would cost you."

"Ooo, a trade, eh?" Link smiled happily. "What do you want in exchange for your information?"

Tingle sighed again. "Tingle just wants to get into that village (And rule it) Heehee, and have a fairy of his very own."

"And if I can do that, what will you give me in return."

"Ah, Tingle is poor… he doesn't have much. But he does make maps. Perhaps, Kind Sir, you would like a map of Hyrule."

Zelda looked up at this point and said, "Don't give Link any maps - he's surprisingly good at losing them but if you have a decent map, I, for one, would buy it."

Link shook his head at her enthusiasm. She had broken his golden rule of trading – never let the seller know you are interested in what he is offering. "A simple map is not good enough." He decided, whilst thinking how he could con Tingle into showing him the map in question for long enough for him to figure out the route back to Lake Hylia.

"Tingles maps are not simple maps." Retorted Tingle.

"Can I see it?" Asked Link.

"No."

"Well then I don't know whether or not it is any good to me and without the reassurance that it will be of any use, I am not interested in helping you out. What else can you offer to me to ensure that my time spent trading with you is not time ill spent?"

Dazzled by the speed and charismatic delivery of these words, Tingle was, for a brief moment stunned. "Um…Tingle can do magic."

"That's nice. What else have you got for sale?" Returned Link ruthlessly.

"Um…what are you going to trade?" Asked Tingle. He had had the sudden realisation that he had no idea what Link would offer in return.

"I will offer you a fairy, if your trade in return is good enough."

"A f-f-fairy?" Stammered Tingle. A look of sheer, absolute joy filled his beady black eyes for a moment. Then his air became crestfallen. "You have no fairy."

"Yes I do." Said Link.

"Where?"

"Right here." Tingle looked up and noted the direction Link was pointing. Then he frowned and his bottom lip pouted. "That's no fairy. That's just a girl." Zelda suddenly realised she was being included in the conversation again and glared at Link.

"Oh no, she's not." Said Link as he sidled closer to Zelda. Both she and Tingle watched him suspiciously. "Sir Tingle, allow me to share a little secret with you. And you must promise never, ever, ever to tell a soul about this if I tell you the secret, which I will share with you if you will keep it." Tingle followed about the first five words of this speech before Link's ramblings confused him but he understood the word 'secret' so nodded happily.

Link leaned a little closer to Tingle and whispered, "This girl was once a fairy."

Tingles eyes opened wide and he looked with even more interest at the hapless Zelda, who had unfortunately been rendered speechless by this blatant lie.

Seeing that he had command his companions' attention, Link smirked and added, "I can see you are sceptical, kind sir, but you see – she is a special fairy. She is related to the…um…great fairy. That's why she's so big." Link cast a swift smile at his indignant friend (who was fortunately for him was still speechless) and continued, "Pretty, isn't she?"

"Ooo, yes." Answered Tingle. He was not really interested in women. Just fairies. And he wasn't entirely sure whether Link was being truthful, but he seemed so sincere it was hard not to believe him. And with her pretty face, pale skin and long golden hair, Zelda really did look like a great fairy.

"She is also the only Moaning Fairy in the world."

"Moaning fairy?" Said Tingle, faintly.

"Yes." Link grinned as he saw Zelda's mouth opening to object to his audacious fable, and quickly added, "Unfortunately she has a limited vocabulary. She only says a few, annoying words. Like…"

"Hey!" Interrupted Zelda.

"That's one of her words." He sidled closer to his friend. "You see, she finds it very difficult to capture attention. So she has to yell at you and she insists that she has important information to impart to you."

"Listen!" Cried Zelda.

"See what I mean?" Laughed Link. "But she has a good heart. And I will be loath to lose her, but needs must and all that. So, Mr Tingle Sir, if you truly want a fairy, even one who is twice your height, this is your best opportunity for obtaining one."

"I am not a fairy." Shouted Zelda.

"That's the other problem. She has a complex." Said Link as he stroked her arm soothingly. He laughed as she slapped him. "She can be a little ill-tempered too. He placed his hand over her mouth, to cover her indignant rant and smiled at Tingle. "I tell you these things as I only like to strike an honest bargain," Zelda snorted at this, "But if you are interested, let us see if we can strike a deal. Are you sure you have nothing you could offer in exchange for this gloriously grumpy specimen of magical wonderment?"

Although his better judgement was telling him that the story was ludicrous, Tingle found that Link's big blue eyes just seemed to reek of honesty. And his smile was so sincere, his manner so candid that he just felt that maybe just maybe he was telling the truth. But there was one little matter that he needed to clear up before committing to any trading.

"Can the fairy do magic like Tingle?" He asked.

"Of course she can." Laughed Link. "What fairy couldn't?" He grinned at Zelda's look of sheer and utter contemptuous fury and wondered how hard she was going to hit him later. "She's just a little awkward about performing tricks. You see the problem, and the reason I am going to trade her to a good home, is that she has gotten so used to being a human look-alike that she has forgotten how to be a fairy. And because of that she has become a little too obsessed with me. See how her eyes follow my every move. Witness her fury on discovering that her feelings are not reciprocated. Hear her sweet little death threats." He moved his hand from Zelda's mouth at this moment, and sure enough she was in the middle of vowing to kill him at the first possible opportunity. "She is very magical."

"Tingle can do magic too." Sighed Tingle. "You're so lucky to have a fairy."

"Well you can be lucky too." Smiled Link. "What will you give for her?"

Tingle frowned. "Ah, Kind Sir, Tingle does not have much. Just my maps."

Link sighed and said, "Well in that case I am not trading." He started to lead the seething Zelda off. "I wonder if I can sell her in the village?" He wondered aloud as he strolled away.

"Eh-hehehe, the village is that way, Kind Sir." Said Tingle. He then said something quite rude as he realised he had just pointed Link in the right direction.

"Thanks." Called Link.

Tingle's little hands patted every green pocked on his coat and knapsack, desperately trying to find something that he could offer in exchange for the big moaning fairy. He desperately wanted a fairy. He needed a fairy. A fairy would make his life complete. With a fairy he could show those stupid Kokiri that he was every bit as fairy-friendly as they were. He would be accepted for the first time in his thirty-five years of life. Suddenly he remembered something.

"OOOO, Kind Sir. I have something!" He shouted. He had found this item on one of his little excursions in to the forest a few weeks previously.

Link stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

Tingle danced up to him and looked, not at Link, but at Zelda. She was still a seething mass of fury and was only waiting until they were out of earshot of Tingle so she could begin her tirade against her antagonist. "Are you really a fairy?"

"No." She snapped.

Tingle turned to Link for confirmation but he was laughing again. He seemed to not mind being punched by his companion. "She is, watch this." He sniggered. Without warning, he suddenly threw an arm around his irate companion and swiftly kissed her.

There was a loud crackle, and the whole area was filled with white light. Link dropped to the floor as all of his muscles gave way in a painful spasm. Surrounded by furious, glittering lights, fists clenched and panting slightly, Zelda glared at him as he merrily jumped to his feet.

"See, Tingle. She can do magic too."

"Hurray!" Giggled Tingle. "She is a fairy."

"I AM NOT A FAIRY!" Screamed Zelda. "AND HOW DARE YOU EVEN TOUCH ME YOU…"

Ignoring her completely, and holding her in place through the simple method of holding her wrist in a vice-like grasp, Link smiled happily at Tingle. "So what price will you pay for her?"

"Tingle has this." Said the little man and held his hand forward. In it lay a heavily decorated, ostentatious signet ring, made from thick pure gold. Link's eyes widened involuntarily at the sight of it. He plucked it from Tingle's clasp and examined it. The band was made of many strands of thin gold, spun together. The signet was a large oval, about the thickness of his little fingernail. Carved deep into the gold was the shape of a leaf and at its centre was an emerald. Link tried to fit it over his little finger but it was too small. He wondered how much money he could get for it. He guessed quite a lot – he knew quite a few women who would pay a fair amount for such a ridiculously huge trinket.

"Very well. Give me a map and this ring, and you can have my fairy."

"I am going to kill you, Link." Swore Zelda as Tingle gladly handed allowed Link to pocket the signet ring and gave him a large, surprisingly well-drawn and detailed map of Hyrule.

"A pleasure doing business with you." Said Link as he folded the map away carefully and smiled at Zelda. "You be a good fairy, won't you, sweetness? Be nice to your new owner."

She shot him a death glare in response. Which was completely ignored. Instead he returned his attention back to Tingle. "Um, which is the best way to get back to Lake Hylia from here?"

On hearing this, Zelda almost screamed with exasperation. Link had promised to take her back to Impa, where she would be safe, only to then decide to trade her life for the sake of an ugly bauble. And then he was going to have the sheer cheek to return to the Judges without so much as a goodbye. He was so, so dead.

"Why do you want to go there, Kind Sir?" asked Tingle (out of sheer nosiness).

"Well, it's kind of a secret, but I am desperate to meet Judge Impa. I am told she is there."

To Link's surprise Tingle glowered at this name. "Pah, Judge Impa. Judge Kru is the better man." He said. "Impa was the one that got Tingle removed from the Kokiri village in the first place."

"Was she?" Link grinned at this thought and wondered if he could spare any more of his time in listening to what could prove to be an amusing tale (for him anyway. The experience had been quite harrowing for Tingle). He decided against it. "She did seem a little stern when I met her last. But still, I must go face her again. So, which is the best route to the inn at Lake Hylia?"

"She's not at the Lake Hylia Inn." Replied Tingle. "She left for Kakariko about two days ago. Tingle watched her travelling. She's probably there right now."

"Really? Hmmmm. And what's the best route there?"

"Well, ehehehehe, there's actually a way through the Kokiri village…you go through a cave to Death Mountain and then down the pass to Kakariko. It's about a days travel. By land it would take much longer."

"Would the cave happen to be filled with Keese?" Asked Link breathlessly.

"Oh yes, Kind Sir, it is the most vile place Tingle knows. Very scary."

"And then there is Death Mountain?" Link sighed with pleasure at the very name and the images of doom and terror it conjured in his mind. He glanced at Zelda, who was by now looking furious, terrified and tired and smiled reassuringly at her. "And now you have a fairy you can get into the Kokiri village, can't you?"

"Tingle can, for Tingle is now oh so lucky to have a fairy." He sang.

"Great, well you can take me there too." Decided Link. He winked at Zelda (who looked away in disgust) and said beseechingly, "You will, won't you?"

Tingle was so excited by having his very own (giant) fairy that he was willing to agree to anything. That being decided, Tingle danced ahead, singing to himself in a manner that made even Link cringe. He followed with Zelda.

"Hey, don't worry, Princess." He whispered, as they walked together. "I promise to rescue from this madman."

"Which one?" She retorted irreverently.

Tingle chose at this moment to turn around and grin happily at the pair. "KOOOLOO LIMPAH!" He yelled and threw what looked like some paper scraps in the air. "These are Tingles Magic Words. Don't steal them." He advised them and returned to his happy dancing.

"I will save you." Whispered Link, with his usual cheery grin.

"Pah." Said Zelda.


Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry if Tingle was a little OOC! But hey, everyone in this story seems to be! If you've not already guessed, Link may want to keep hold of that signet ring…

That is if he can survive the impending wrath of Zelda! Remeber to review... cheers x