Thanks to Yuleen75, Guntou, QuinKilo1055,la generala, Kindra Mckleen and Quick and thanks for the suggestions! I will be using some of them…(You've been warned!!) Oh yeah, and in reply to Quick's question, there are a number of really good Ganondorf X Nabooru fics about on this site, one of my faves is Confused Desire, by Silvite's Cry.

Anyways, I have started to name my chapters, just for a laugh. It might (or might not) give you a clue as to what's going to happen next. Maybe eventually I will even get around to the whole point of this story and talk about the Chameleon Stone (you never know )

Finally THANK YOU VERY MUCH to everybody reading this for your continued support, I can't believe how much people like my story. I am very flattered and hope you all continue to enjoy it (and review!!)


Chapter Thirteen – Oh My(eth)

After staring at the Kokiri (who were anxiously muttering to each other) for a good couple of moments, Zelda finally decided she ought to speak –having convinced the Kokiri she was a fairy and all. "Who, or what is the Maku tree?" She demanded.

She did not miss the look that passed between Saria and Mido – it was one of distinct resignation, much like the ones that appeared on her own face when she was faced with one of Link's many escapades. She quickly ran through the bits of Hylian History she remembered from her days under her grandfather's tutelage. "Aren't the Kokiri ruled by the Great Deku tree?" She asked, inadvertently making Link cast her a surprised look. Evidently he was impressed by her knowledge.

"Well, yes we are." Saria agreed reluctantly. "And the Deku Tree is still here, watching over us…it's just that…well…he's a bit asleep at the moment. And whilst he's been sleeping, the Maku Trees just sorta grew there in the clearing with him. And now they're much to big for us to move them anywhere else."

"What's wrong with that?" Asked Link, laughing. "Trees do tend to grow in forests."

"Yeah." Said Saria, a little doubtfully. "Um…the Maku trees are all right, I suppose. It's just…"

"Just what?" Asked Link, kindly.

Saria blushed a little bit, not being used to be on the receiving end of solicitude from a handsome Hylian (no, she meant, Catalian) before. She glanced up at Link and melted. He was smiling kindly at her, his blue eyes filled with amusement and understanding. She brushed her green hair away from her face and attempted to smile back.

"That Maku tree is a blinking nuisance." Said Mido. "The female Maku Tree, that is. And I reckon that's why the Great Deku tree won't wake up. I mean - who'd want to with her around?"

"Mido, hush." Whispered Saria, anxiously. "She might hear you." Link noticed that she didn't disagree with her companion though. Some inner feeling told him that he should try to avoid this meeting with the tree if he could. He quickly took stock of his companions, wondering which one he should pick on-er, no wrong word…use, to help aid him in his bid for freedom. Tingle wasn't even on the consideration list. Mido seemed like a good (three-hundred year old) kid at heart, but wouldn't trust Link. On the other hand Saria seemed too trusting. So that left Zelda. Again. A particularly sinister grin spread across Link's face as he carefully watched his long-suffering Wailing Fairy.

Unfortunately for Link, Zelda's new fairy powers seemed to have granted her an eye in the back of her head, and she turned around, before even a half-second had passed. She noted Link's smile, immediately replaced by an innocent look, and raised her eyebrows. "What are you plotting?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing. We should just not keep this delightful Mucky tree waiting, that's all." Link's innocence might have convinced the Kokiri and Tingle that he was honest, but Zelda was not fooled. She tapped her fingertips together and watched him for a moment, solemnly. After a pause, to make sure he was suitably abashed, she decided that she might as well go along with him, as usual. So she suddenly announced, "We will go to the Maku Tree. Not 'Mucky' Tree, Sir Link. Please, lead the way, Kokiri Children."

Mido grumbled something about being called a child, but he started walking. Tingle managed to wedge himself in between the two Kokiri, leaving Link trailing behind with Zelda. She wasn't sure if that's what he had been planning or not, but she did notice that he was deliberately dawdling so that they fell behind again. She waited until the Kokiri and Tingle had rounded a corner, taking a path in between two tall cliffs before she said, "I want a word with you, Linkipoo."

He saw the stern look on her face and rolled his eyes mischievously. "Now what have I done?"

"I just wanted to know how you are planning to rescue me from this delightful situation we now find ourselves in." She replied, sweetly.

"I reckon you're more than capable of doing that yourself." Said Link, with a grin. "I mean you have just transformed yourself into a fairy. Nothing I could ever say or do would ever match that for sheer theatrical brilliance. And you didn't even scream! I'm impressed."

"Actually, so am I, because whatever I did actually managed to stun you into silence, which has got to be a good thing." Agreed Zelda, cordially. "In fact, I still don't know what shocked you so much anyway. I knew I had conjured some wings, or something, but is that really so impressive?"

"Haven't you seen yourself?" He laughed. "Greats Gods, Zel – I actually felt like the bottom had dropped out of my stomach when you came out of the light."

"Er… what light was that?"

Link glazed down at his companion for a moment. She seemed to be genuinely confused. "You really don't know?"

"All I know is that I wished to help you in whatever way I could…and, no, that doesn't mean I secretly like you, idiot! Anyway, I wished I could become a fairy, and then the next moment, I felt wings on my back, you were all just staring at me, so I guessed my wish had come true and so I just acted the part I thought I should. I guess I didn't scream because that would have ruined the effect and I was kind of hoping for it to happen."

"Hmmm." Link rubbed his chin thoughtfully, as he pondered Zelda's words. Surely she was not oblivious to her own magic, was she? He remembered the first time they had met, she had zapped him, but she hadn't even realised she had done anything. Perhaps her style of magic was involuntary, like a twitch, and she didn't know when she had performed magic or not, she only saw the results. "How did you know you have wings?"

"Oh, I can feel them wafting a breeze on my neck." She replied. "That and the two Kokiri children and Tingle all recognised me as a fairy. You just recognised my earning potential."

"Yeah, that and the fact that you look absolutely gorgeous." Said Link, with a grin, which only grew wider when Zelda started to blush.

"Oi! No flirting with the fairy!" She managed to say, in a pitch-perfect impression of Tingle, although nothing she could do would calm the glowing in her cheeks.

"I never flirt!" Replied Link, outraged. "I was just stating a fact." He grinned at her and asked, "You really don't have any idea, do you? And I thought you were smart too! C'mere – look at this!" With these words, he led her to a nearby pool of water and made her look at her reflection.

For a moment Zelda gazed down at her changed reflection, a frown on her face. She remembered nothing of her transformation, only recalling that she had said some strange words in her mind, and until she had seen for herself, she had not noticed her changed appearance. Her powers of observation were not always the greatest in Hyrule. She blushed again as her eyes met Link's.

"See – you look absolutely beautiful." He said, softly.

"I suppose I do." She replied, in a manner worthy of Link himself. She felt that since her companion was actually behaving serenely, for once in his life, it behoved her to take on his mantle of craziness. "Shame I can't do anything about you." She added, as an afterthought.

"And what's wrong with me? Countless people have informed me that I am lamentably handsome."

"Really?" Zelda was all astonishment. "Wow, a lot of people in Hyrule must have really bad taste!"

"You must do too, Princess – I've seen the way you look at me."

"Would that be the resigned, confused, dazed or exasperated way I look at you?" She retorted.

"All of them, I think!" He laughed. Suddenly there was the sound of an ear-splitting scream. They exchanged a glance. "That sounded like Tingle." Remarked Link. "I wonder what's up now? Maybe the Kokiri are trying to murder him." A look of pure innocence passed over his face, "What an opportunity this is! Shall we run away whilst they are distracted?"

"For the last time, NO! You, Link, are going to learn Morals whether you like it or not. We are going to find out what is the matter and help these poor innocent people that are only in a mess because of you! Besides, you still owe me one rescue package, apparently worth thousands. Running away does not count."

"I think it does, but whatever you say, love." Said Link, he bowed mockingly and then helped her to her feet. "I suppose you want me to run dramatically to their rescue, don't you?"

"What kind of hero would you be, if you didn't?" She replied.

"A hero?" Repeated Link. Suddenly his eyes lit up with delight. "You know, I've always wanted to be a hero and have song composed about me, and statues made of me and…"

"Well off you go then, Mister Hero." She ordered as she pushed him forward. "And don't call me love again, or I will have to kill you."


Tingle was not being murdered by the Kokiri, although they looked like they would like to commit such a heinous crime. The problem was apparently a gang of Deku Babas that had clogged up the narrow path leading to the Deku tree's meadow. Mido had wanted to beat them up to encourage them to shift. Saria had wanted to reason with them and ask them kindly to move along. They were so lost in the consultation about what should be done about them that they did not notice that Tingle, lost in his Wailing Fairy induced dream, had walked right into the middle of the group.

Deku Babas were plant-like creatures, not particularly threatening, nor were they known for their intelligence. Few plants were. As long as you stayed out of reach of them, all they could do was snap menacingly at you, trying desperately to reach your feet, their long stem-like necks flat on the ground. They were only a menace if you got too close to them, for they were carnivorous. The sight of an edible child (type thing), in their midst had led to a flurry of angry snapping at each other as they fought over which of them had the most right to eat the tasty morsel before them. Tingle only noticed his slight faux pas when one of the plants snapped at his heel.

The scream that escaped him at this point could be heard right across Hyrule. On hearing that dreadful sound, people in the streets made the sign of the holy Triforce on their chests and cowered, dogs howled, and Ganondorf, who was busy watching the latest instalment "Great Bay – the Real Termina County" in Koume's crystal ball, was so annoyed by the interruption of his favourite show had to order his guards to pillage a few nearby villages to make himself feel better.

Tingle did what only Tingle could in the situation. "KOOOOOOOLLOOOOOO LIMPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" His spell wasn't quite cast completely, as one of the Deku Babas attempted to acquire his special, "Genuine Authentique Kokiri rip-off cap" (in spring forest green, made of genuine pretend deku leaf) mid spell. Tingle screamed again.

Link finally arrived just at the point when another of the opportunistic Deku Babas was nibbling Tingle's lucky shoe. He couldn't help a snort of laughter escaping his mouth when he saw that Tingle, despite being terrified, was trying to beat the evil plant off with one of his maps, all the while screeching "Bad! Naughty! Leave Tingle." One thing was in Tingle's favour though. He had somehow managed to stand in a spot just out of all five monster's reach. However, he was dancing around in a mad panic, and was highly likely to accidentally trip into one of the monsters' mouths.

"Tingle, Stay still!" Ordered Link, as he ran forward. He drew his old sword from its sheath. Tingle heard his voice, nodded and cowered into a ball, butt facing towards the sky.

"If you're going to fight…" Began Mido, drawing his own sword. Link ignored him. Instead he beckoned Zelda forward.

"What?" She asked, eying the Baba's nervously.

"Nothing, I just feel more courageous with you standing next to me." Link smiled he most innocent smile.

"Link, if you dare…" Began Zelda, before she was very rudely interrupted by Link, who suddenly swung his arm around her shoulder and planted a big kiss on her cheek.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" She squealed. There was a roaring flash of red light, some screams from the monsters and then silence. Link let her go and grinned at her.

"That was easy." He remarked, as he sheathed his sword. "Gotta love your powers, Zellie." She followed his gaze and was amazed to see that yet again Link had caused mayhem and destruction through her. The Deku Baba's were nowhere to be seen, but there were five patches of smouldering shrubbery and a few embers flying around. Apparently she had blasted them to smithereens with a giant fireball.

"That was incredible. Well done, Great Fairy." Said Saria, smiling at the Great Wailing Fairy. "Um…why do you look so confused?"

"Eh? Oh it's nothing." Stammered Zelda. She glanced at Link and wondered why she could only perform magic when he was around. She stared at the patches of ash, and noted that a sixth little patch was lying on the floor, cowering in a ball still. "Tingle?" The little figure did not move. She glared at Link, hoping that the little man had not been injured. She regretted this thought an instant after it crossed the threshold of her conscious thoughts. Tingle was just as bad as Link, she remembered. She shouldn't feel compassion for either of them. She felt it was a pity that she couldn't be more remorseless because she still felt sorry for him, even despite telling herself not to be. "Tingle?" She called again. There was no response.

She sighed and took a few steps forward. She knelt at Tingle's side. Now that she was nearer, she saw that he was still alive. His little cap was slightly singed, as was his lucky shoe, and all of his maps had been incinerated. She felt a little guilty, until she remembered that it was all Link's fault. That meant she could glare at him again. Which she did. Unfortunately, Link only grinned in response, as unrepentant as ever. She touched Tingle's shoulder softly and whispered his name, "It's alright now, Tingle." She spoke as a mother would to a child. She felt Tingle's body trembling with fear under her hand. Link earned another glare.

"Tingle?" She whispered again, as she shook him gently by the shoulder. There was no response, just another shudder. She sighed and wondered how much better her day was going to get. Or how much more she could take of the big pretence she had conjured for herself. "Tingle? This is your fairy speaking! Listen to me - the danger has passed! You are safe now, you can stand up again."

This won more of a response. She heard the distinct sound of "Eh-hehehe." Coming from Tingle's body.

"Tingle?" She repeated, a little sternly.

"Leeelleee." He sang, "So lucky to have a fairy." Came the distinct, slightly jarring sound of Tingle's voice. He rolled on to his back and then sat up. He gave Zelda an admiring glance, "Tingle's fairy is a mighty fairy. Tingle will never need to sell a crummy map ever again once he's sold the Wailing Fairy."

"Once you've what?" Gasped Zelda. Somehow that sounded awfully familiar. She glared at the one person who could have given Tingle that reprehensible idea. Link had apparently spotted something incredible in the clouds and was watching the sky intently, but his shoulders were shaking mysteriously.

"Um…Tingle, you cannot sell your fairy." Said Saria.

"Tingle bought his fairy so Tingle can sell it too." He retorted.

"How much?" Asked Mido, gazing in admiration at Zelda. His mind was pondering how easy it would be to obtain total world domination with such a powerful companion. Both Saria and his own fairy companion hit him at this point, so he relapsed back into his habitual sulky silence.

"Two thousand Million Hundred Rupees." Stated Tingle. It was the largest amount of money he could think of. He added in an undertone, "Ehhehehehe, that will set Tingle up for life."

"Um, do I get any say in this?" Began Zelda, ominously.

"Shhh, Fairy." Snapped Tingle. "Tingle is talking."

Mido quickly thought through all the resources he could possibly lay his hands on in the forest and wondered if it would amount to Two Thousand Million Hundred Rupees. If it didn't, one always found rupees lying around in the grass and up trees and stuff like that. He was sure he could steal, find and borrow enough to buy the wailing fairy for his very own.

"Mido, don't even think about it." Warned Saria, as she saw his thoughtful look. She rounded on Tingle, "And you – you should be ashamed of yourself, selling your companion like that."

"Tingle didn't like her anyway." Lied Tingle, sulkily. "She is too big."

"TOO BIG? Are you mad, all Great Fairies are big!" Retorted Mido, taking up the cudgels in Zelda's defence. "That's why they're called Great, you big nincompoop."

"She's not very pretty either." Complained Tingle.

Saria rolled her eyes and cast a look of acute embarrassment in Zelda's direction. The Hylian Fairy seemed to be stunned into silence again. She also looked furious. Having witnessed two demonstrations of the Wailing Fairy's awesome power, she was loath to see what would happen when the Fairy's annoyance got the better of her. She wondered what Link made of the whole situation. Glancing in his direction, she noticed that he looked amused but was in no hurry to rescue his companion.

"Hey! I said bring the visitors to me. You're taking your blooming time." Came a high-pitched voice from not too far away. This interrupted the argument between Tingle and Mido enough for Mido to share a shudder with Saria, before they both shouted in a slightly over-eager way, "Coming, Maku Tree!"

"We'll finish this later." Mido promised as he passed Tingle. Tingle pulled his tongue out in response but followed anyway. For a moment, Zelda remained where she was, staring after them in some indignation before turning to Link, ready to vent her spleen on him. Unfortunately, he saw this coming and before she could say anything, he took her hand and kissed it.

"Poor Zelda." He murmured, with such a look on his face that she couldn't prevent her heart from just melting. "Shall I rescue you yet?"

"I've been waiting for you to rescue me for the last half hour." She retorted, a little unsteadily. "But instead, all you can do is laugh at me."

"Well it was kinda funny." He explained. "But never mind, I will save you yet! I must say, who'd have thought Tingle would be worse than me for trying to exploit you? Makes me look like a paragon."

"Nothing would make you look like a paragon." She snapped. She smiled reluctantly at Link and said, "You know, I almost wish I was back at Ganondorf's castle at his mercy."

"No you don't." Link countered her glare with a disturbingly kind smile, which completely threw her off balance. "Nobody would wish that on themselves, even if the alternative is travelling with me and my pooch! Speaking of which, I wish I knew where Amber was."

"Amber? Oh right, your pet – the one we're supposed to be looking for." Said Zelda, with sudden enlightenment. "I thought you'd forgotten her. She doesn't seem to cross your mind unless I prompt you."

Link smiled a little at this but shook his head. "I've had her since she was a tiny pup. I am actually quite worried, you know. Once we've escaped from here, I promise I will look for her properly."

"And take me back to Impa?"

"Yes, if you want to go."

"Of course I do." She replied. She wished she could make herself believe that was really the case. Link did give her a long, considering look but refrained from making any further comment, instead directing his focus on the joyous prospect of meeting the Great Maku Tree.

If he had known what was in store for him there, he might not have grinned so cheerfully over those last few steps towards his doom…


The Maku trees lived in a huge clearing, peaceful, sombre and silent. They grew one either side of the path. They were like great oak trees, with faces carved into the gnarled bark. Their evergreen leaves provided homes for fairies and small birds, and around their grey-brown trunks, long meadow grass grew and butterflies played. They were not as tall as the other ancient trees that guarded the perimeter of the clearing but their branches spread far wider. One tree appeared to be dozing in the midday sun, snoring quietly, a bubble of sap lurking at the corner of his mouth. Next to him was another tree, a little too wide-eyed and awake. She guarded the path with an air of hyperactive restlessness that was infectious. Behind them both, his eyes firmly closed, and mouth set into a thin line, slept the Great Deku Tree – father to all the Kokiri and protector of the Forest.

On seeing these great trees for the first time, Link felt rather humbled. They were so huge and ancient and dignified that one felt quite puny and worthless in comparison. Even Tingle, who had decided to reopen his negations for the sale of one Wailing Fairy, fell silent as he gaped in awe at the trio of tree-gods before him.

The silence lasted for a good few moments. The only awake one of the three trees, Link noted, was hastily scanning the visitors. He presumed it was the female Maku tree, for the lines around her glossy eyes looked like long eyelashes and her small mouth was somehow more feminine (it was probably because she did not appear to have a beard, like the other two). Her eyes flickered across the two Kokiri, obviously she knew who they were and then rested on Tingle for a moment, before a look of revulsion passed through their chestnut depths. She completely ignored Zelda (despite the fact she was currently in the body of a great fairy) and settled on Link. And then the tree smiled, and two patches of colour darkened the bark where her cheeks would be.

"Oh my." Her branches made a little rustling sound as she spoke, and the spots of colour burned deeper. "Who are you?"

It took a moment for Link to realise that she was actually addressing him. He looked into her huge orange eyes and gulped. "Er, me? Um, I'm Link." The Maku's trees leaves rustled together even louder and she simpered. It was clear she understood Link's stammering introduction as proof of his instant attraction to her.

"Oh, Link." She simpered, "It is a pleasure to meet such a handsome young man as you. I don't see many in these parts."

"No?" Said Link, faintly. He wasn't entirely sure he liked the idea of dealing with a flirting tree. She smiled expectantly at him, clearly anticipating some kind of comparable response from him. "I…Um…didn't really expect to…um…meet…ah, you have nice…leaves?" He stammered, and desperately tried to ignore the sound of Zelda's familiar choke as the Maku tree squealed and said, "Oh, you flatterer!" She cast a longing look at him from under her strange orange-painted eyelids and simpered, "So, Link, what brings you to these parts? Did you perchance hear tales of the lonely Maku tree?"

"Well…no not really." He admitted. The Maku tree frowned at this, clearly this honesty was not to her taste. She cast a hate-filled glare at Zelda, wondering if the pretty fairy-type thing was in some way the key to Link's evident reluctance to admit his attraction to her, and turned back to the handsome Hylian. "Well, never mind, you have found the lonesome Maku Tree now! You are fortunate!"

"Um…yes. I suppose." Link too glanced at Zelda – only his look was a cry for help. Finally able to get her revenge, Zelda merely smiled back at him.

"Link is an expert arborist." Said Zelda sweetly. She grinned as she saw the Maku tree's eyes light up, and an even healthier glow appeared in her bark. She added, just for fun, "He absolutely loves trees."

"Oh my." Said the Maku tree. She sighed, "Oh, Mister Link. You are just perfect for me. I'm going to marry you."

"Er…are you?" Link was caught off guard. He gazed up at the Maku tree in some confusion, "Is that even possible?" He wondered aloud. Zelda coughed suspiciously but the Maku Tree laughed happily and began explaining how delightfully happy they would be. Clearly she was smitten at first sight. She did not even notice how Link slowly backed away from her. At least, she didn't until Zelda kindly pointed out that her future husband was trying to escape. This annoyed her. Unfortunately, as a tree, there was only so much she could do to actually stop him walking away. So she had to resort to her last feminine wile. She began to cry.

The noise was not just annoying. The noise was not just irritating. It was the stuff of nightmares. It was far worse than Tingle's earlier screaming. Far off in his darkened castle, Ganondorf was forced - literally forced - into slaying a few of his prisoners, because his second most favourite show (Zeroes) had been interrupted. People in the towns gave up on triangling themselves and just decided to stay indoors for the rest of the day, and the dogs in the street went berserk.

Link lasted for a whole minute, standing firm against the assault on his sensitive ears before giving in. "Fine, fine. I'll do anything. Just stop crying. Please!" He begged, covering his ears.

The noise stopped as suddenly as it had started. The Maku tree's bottom lip trembled and she showed him a sad face. "Y-You will marry me…?" She whispered, tremulously.

"I'll think about it." Said Link. The bottom lip gave way to an earthquake like shudder and Link cringed. "I mean, I probably will but you know…we've only just met and…"

"Of course he will marry you." Interrupted Zelda, with a particularly evil smirk on her face. This only widened when she saw Link's panic-stricken face. He shook his head at her. "He's just embarrassed about admitting that it was love at first sight for him too." She smiled warmly at the Maku tree, and added, thoughtfully, "All men are like that. They're no good at telling you how they really feel."

"I'll tell you exactly how I feel right now!" Link muttered in to her ear. She giggled in reply. She saw the suspicious look cast in her direction by the Maku Tree and addressed her again, lying merrily, "Link has just said that he really does love you, but he's too scared to admit it himself. Would you like to set the date?"

"Oh yes!" Breathed the Maku tree, oblivious to Zelda's giggles, the Kokiri's horrified looks, Link's terror and the fact that Tingle had gone off wandering towards the sleeping Deku tree. "Now would be good…only…" Her face fell ludicrously.

"Only what?" Asked Zelda, solicitously.

"Well, it's just the…Deku Tree."

"Oh?" The two Kokiri exchanged another glance at this whilst Zelda continued making polite conversation.

The Maku tree sighed again, "The Deku tree would have to preside over the wedding - he is the King of Trees after all…." She explained. She rolled her eyes in the direction of the giant sleeping tree and a sniff escaped her, "But he won't wake up. If he stays asleep I can't marry Link and he's…he's (sob) … been sleeping for such a long time…"

"He's sleeping because he doesn't want to deal with you." Stated Mido, rather rudely. The Maku tree was shocked at this. She was even more shocked when Link added, "I don't blame him."

"N-no." Protested the Maku tree, her eyes awash with liquid again, which cast all observers into a state of dread. "T-the Deku Tree w-was just t-tired…and he…and he…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Somehow all eyes turned to Link as if it was his fault the tree had started bawling again. He didn't notice because he had his head buried in his hands and was trying to stop his eardrums from exploding, as they were threatening to. Suddenly, there was a groaning sound, which arrested the sobs of the Maku tree. A stiff breeze passed through the whole clearing, tousling hair and rustling leaves. It sounded like a yawn.

"Verily, thou hast disturbed mine slumber." Came a voice, ancient and wise, and ever so slightly peeved. All eyes, including those of the female Maku Tree's (the other Maku tree was still happily asleep) turned towards the source of the disturbance. The Great Deku tree watched them all sternly, his mouth set into a frown and his eyes rather unfocussed, "Thou hast better had a mighty good cause for awakening one from mine slumber, and…" Suddenly he seemed to notice that the Maku tree's chestnut eyes were on him too. Another groan shook the earth. "Oh no."

"Hi, Great Deku Tree!" Called the Maku Tree, recovered to her usual peppy self. This was probably because she could now marry Link.

The Deku Tree stared at her in stony silence for a moment before turning to the two Kokiri who were standing before him. "Why hast thou not removed yonder…wooded being from mine presence?" He demanded.

"Well, she is kinda big…" Began Mido.

"And we are rather little…" Continued Saria. "Also, it's against our rules to harm any tree – be it nuisance or not. So we…"

"Couldn't, Great Deku Tree. Sorry." Finished Mido.

"Ah, I see." The Great Deku tree sighed and his branches rustled as if he were nodding. He shuddered slightly as he looked at the other trees but knew there was little he could do about the matter, for the time being anyway, so he turned his attention to his visitors. Unlike the Maku Tree, he carefully considered each of his guests and was polite enough not to be openly repulsed by Tingle. "And what doest we haveth here?" He mused, "A Hylian, a Catalian of Hylian ancestry and a…oh my."

Suddenly the Great Deku tree sprouted a patch of colour on each cheek as he took in the vision of the great wailing fairy.

"That is Tingle's great Wailing Fairy." Said Tingle. "Tingle will accept Two Thousand Million Hundred Rupees (or nearest offer) for her."

"Oh…" The Great Deku tree considered this, "Letest one consider…I have gold buried in mine…" He stopped himself and took another look at the fuming fairy. "Waiteth." He said. "That ist not a fairy."

"She is!" Argued Tingle.

Zelda rolled her eyes.

"Noeth. She is not a fairy. She ist a creature moreth important than a mere fairy."

"Really? Four Thousand Million Hundred Rupees then." Said Tingle.

The Deku Tree ignored this and gazed in some wonder at Zelda, who was looking increasingly like she was going to declare war on all Tingles, Trees and idiots who got her into these situations. It was the latter mentioned idiot that seemed to be getting the lion's share of her fury directed at him. Link thought this was a little unfair. "Nay, child. This child ist the Princess of Destiny."

"Princess?" Exclaimed about four voices at once.

"Er…sort of, yes." Said the Deku Tree.

"Five Thousand Million Billion Rupees." Stated Tingle. "No offers."

"She ist the key to the Chameleon Stone, and ist a mighty sage. Verily she ist worth mucheth more than mere rupees."

"How much more exactly?" Demanded Tingle.

"THAT DOES IT!" Suddenly yelled Zelda, at the end of her tether. There was a sudden silence in the forest. She stalked up to the Deku Tree and stood directly before him, glaring up at him, one hand on her hip. "You are the great protecting spirit of this forest, correct?"

Stunned by such a direct attack, his mouth dropped open, leaving a large awning in his mossy bark. He agreed that 'Verily one was the Great Deku tree, protector of the forest and all creatures who dwelt withineth...'

"Great." Zelda ruthlessly cut his long explanation about how great it was to be the forest protector(eth) short. "Well then, oh great protector of the Forest, I demand you grant me sanctuary, haven and respite from these idiots. I beg you."

The Great Deku tree was confused. He was unable to deny such a direct plea for safety from one who, although she was not a fairy, looked like one. And at the very least she was an important sage. His mouth was already wide open, from his earlier stupefaction so he just said (with his mouth open still) "errii ellll". Taking this as meaning "Very well, "Zelda smiled up at him and mouthed the word 'thanks' and then stepped into the dark awning in the bark.

Momentarily stunned, Link was only able to watch in horror as his hapless victim - his newest, most favourite friend, took another step and another, until she was swallowed up into the darkness and then…

SNAP went the Deku Tree's mouth.

"ZELDA!" Exclaimed Link.

"My FAIRY!" Screamed Tingle.

And at exactly the same time the two Kokiri shouted, "No, Great Deku Tree. Don't eat her!"

The Deku tree smiled peacefully and his eyes closed.

"ZELDA? ZELDA!" Shouted Link. But there was no reply.


Oh dear, the Great Deku Tree seemed to have eaten Zelda - and she is a mighty sage. But you knew that already, I'll bet!! Please Review...verily it doth make mine heart rejoice.