Many thanks to Super Goat Grl, La Generala, Yuleen75, QuinKilo1055, Guntou, Quick and I.K.A.Valian for your reviews (sorry if I missed anyone)! You guys are the best things since sliced bread and stuffed crust pizza! (mmmm, pizza!) This story is getting crazier by the day, but it's so much fun to write. Yay for madness! Of course, I rely on you all to tell me if I'm going overboard!
Oh yes, and I also noticed I've consistently spelt Calatia and Agahnim wrong, so I've corrected that now. Yay for bad grammar and poor spelling too!
Anyway, on with the story…
Chapter Sixteen – Stones, Stones everywhere...
Nursing a severely nibbled arm, Rauru shook his head. "Is that beast muzzled?" The stress of the last few minutes had taken its toll on him. His last few strands of hair that had protected his scalp from the cruel light of the sun (the ones he had so fondly named Nayru, Din and Farore in honour of the Hylian Goddesses) had fallen out with the shock of the attack. His voice quivered with alarm and his breathing was quickened.
Nabooru tightened the rope around Amber's snout and nodded.
"The wolf is not Zelda then?" Asked Kru, rather stupidly, as Impa helped him bandage his ankle. She answered this question with a look that scared him more than being attacked by a raging beastie had. Agahnim watched the proceedings from the top of his "magical supplies" cupboard. He had retreated there as soon as it had become apparent that the animal that had been invited into his home was not what she appeared to be.
He could have told them that.
"Careful with that knot, Gerudo." Instructed Impa, watching Nabooru tightening the muzzle cruelly. "I will not permit you to hurt the animal."
"Why not, it hurt us?" Retorted Nabooru. She too had been scathed by Amber's frenzied attack. Her left hand had been the recipient of a particularly nasty bite.
"She hurt you because she was frightened. It was self-defence." Replied Impa, smoothly. "Perhaps if you had not seen fit to sedate the beast it would not have come around with such alarm."
"That's fine for you to say." Interrupted Rauru, as he gingerly checked his beautiful beard for any further hints of damage. It had been a frenzied few minutes, Amber had come around from her stupor to find herself trapped in a corner, surrounded by four strange humans (Impa had wisely decided to stay clear of the poor animal). She reacted wildly, biting and snapping at anything that was near enough. The results were not pretty. Both Rauru and Nabooru were nearest to the wolf, they both had bitten arms and hands. Rauru was convinced that the wolf had also attacked his precious beard, although without a mirror to hand, he could not be sure. Kru had foolishly turned his back on the animal, and the inevitable had happened. He stood at the other end of the room, watching her warily; he was unable to sit down.
Agahnim had fled but had ultimately managed to stop the attack by blasting the animal with a spell that immobilized her temporarily. Nabooru and Impa had then tackled her to the ground, and had muzzled her.
"I say we kill it." Came Kru's voice from across the room. He was still trembling with pain and fear.
"Nonsense." Snapped Impa.
"Pah. You didn't get bitten. You would say that."
"I didn't get bitten because I was not stupid enough to believe that this creature was Zelda, unlike you buffoons." She retorted. "It's your own fault. Now then, I believe the crux of your argument, Gerudo, was that Link had somehow imprisoned Zelda into the body of this animal. I believe we have established that such is not the case. Zelda would never behave in such an undignified and feral manner. Besides which, I know of no magic that could do such a thing to a person."
"What's your point?" Interrupted Nabooru, rudely.
"My point is that you are an idiot." Smiled Impa. She turned on her companions and added, "Fie on you two for believing such a ridiculous tale."
"And pox on all harpies!" Added Nabooru, glaring at Impa.
"Girls, stop this nonsense…" Started Rauru.
"Shut up." Before he was rudely interrupted.
Agahnim slipped from the top of his cupboard back to the floor and slinked over to his bookshelf. He watched the judges and Nabooru argue out of the corner of his eye whilst he flicked through the pages of one of his older spell books entitled "Transmogrification, Therianthropy and Lycanthrope – twenty all time classic spells. Amaze your friends, shock your enemies with these easy-to-learn, spells. Great for children's parties."
"Ah. This is what I seek. See – Transmogrification, or shape-shifting is possible!" He exclaimed, prodding the ancient, tattered pages with a long, bony finger. His voice interrupted the merry argument still raging between his four companions. He watched them for a moment with his lifeless, pale eyes and then continued in the same doleful tone, "It talks about it in my book."
"That's nice." Snapped Impa, "But we are a little busy here…"
"Impa!" Snapped Rauru. He smiled benignly on Agahnim, "Er, what does it say in your book."
Agahnim held the cover of the book up slightly, and like school children, all four of his companions read the (rather long) title out aloud. He stared at them and then nodded. Clearing his throat first, he began to read slowly, "The art of Transmogrification is an ancient and puzzling issue. Few sorcerers have ever mastered this difficult spell. It not only requires tremendous magical skill, but also a good deal of power. The only known instance of Transmogrify being actively used was recorded in year 129 of the Chronos Calendar of Calatia. There it is written that the Calatian Soldiers, led by the Sorcerer King Lefestra, were able change their shape into hideous monsters. The source of this incredible power was rumoured to be the Goddess lover of Lefestra, known only as Serenity or Saeru. However, despite this, the Calatian invasion of Hyrule was ill fated. The power suddenly dried up, Saeru vanished and Lefestra was forced to return to his homeland."
"Although it has never been proven, it is rumoured that the Goddess Saeru has not entirely departed from Lefestra. It is said that some of her power was locked away in Hyrule, in the hands of the Seven Lords who fought against Lefestra. This has never been proven. The Goddess Saeru is not a recognised deity in the history of Hyrule, and many believe the tale of Lefestra to be folklore. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that the Royal Family of Calatia has strong magical abilities to this day. They also have in their possession an amulet named the 'Cascuda' – which is used in the historic appellation ceremonies of the King's Twelve Knights."
"I hardly think a lesson in Calatian Traditions is of any use to us, Agahnim." Interrupted Rauru, coldly. "I fail to see how this has any bearing on our little problem."
"Ah, but it does." Replied the wizard, eagerly. "The key is in these Appellation, or naming, ceremonies. It is said…now where was I…oh yes, the King selects Twelve Knights, gives them a unique name and brand mark (or tattoo) in the hope that one of them will be given the holy name. The one who is given the holy name, first bestowed on King Lefestra, will supposedly inherit his skill. The Knight would be tasked with searching for the Golden Light of Hyrule, and ultimately the key to the lock on the Goddess Saeru's heart. The heart is also called the Chameleon Stone, for it is the full representative of Saeru's abilities and whoever holds it, has access to all her powers." Agahnim smiled a little to himself, thinking of all that lovely power for a moment, before returning his eyes to the book. He finished the paragraph,
"The Chameleon Stone is the greatest, most useless treasure in the known world. It is both powerful and powerless. The Calatians guard and revere it though, in honour of their Sorcerer King. To date, it is recorded that none of the Kings Knights has been given the holy name. It stands to reason then, that the Chameleon Stone's power – Saeru's heart, is lost forever, just as the man who stole it, Lefestra. Nevertheless, the Calatians continue to search for the one known as "Free Sword" and the power of Transmogrification and…"
"Free Sword? I've heard that name before." Said Impa, rudely interrupting Agahnim again. He glared at her. She closed her eyes and cast her mind back a few days. She remembered a sleeve being rolled up, and a tattoo of an eagle in flight, carrying a sword. "Oh goddess, no." She exclaimed.
"What? What is it?"
"Link." She muttered.
"Link? Again?" Rauru stroked the remains of his beard thoughtfully and stared at the wolf.
"Link showed me his tattoo – the one confirming he was a Knight. It was the Free Sword tattoo. I didn't realise that it actually meant anything though." She said. Her arms folded instinctively across her breast and glared at Agahnim. "What does it mean?"
"I take it this is the same Link you suspect is with the real Zelda at the moment?" He asked. Impa nodded, for once unsure of herself. "It could be one of two things. It is either nothing, or it means that Zelda is the Golden Light – the Key to the Chameleon Stone. If that is the case then it throws considerable doubt of your warrior's motives. As a Calatian Knight, he is sure to discover her secret. It is what they were trained for."
"What will he do with her?" Asked Impa, careful to disguise any trace of emotion from her voice. Nabooru, who had throughout this interchange been remarkably quiet, cast a glance in her direction. She was not fooled. Impa was scared. The thought amused her.
"It depends." Replied Agahnim.
"Depends? Depends on what?"
"How loyal a knight he is for one thing." Agahnim scanned the pages of his book again and frowned a little. "It also depends on whether or not Zelda, as the Golden Light, has awoken the Goddess Saeru yet. If she has…" He faltered at this, deterred by the looks he was receiving from both Nabooru and Impa. Both were glaring at him. "What?"
"Agahnim," Began Impa, forebodingly, "Need I remind you that we are all Hylians here. Apart from the Gerudo-"
"-I have a name." Snapped Nabooru.
Impa smiled sweetly at her, "I know, Gerudo. As I was saying, none of us are Calatian, you might have to step back a few paces and tell us more about the Goddess Saeru and Zelda's involvement in this saga." She caught Rauru's eyes upon her and 'humphed' to herself, nevertheless she added, "please?" to the end of her statement.
"Ah." Agahnim realised his superior knowledge was yet again shining through and for the next hour or so gave them a comprehensive lesson in the joys and rather tedious history of Hyrule's neighbour, Calatia. As this covered such extensive subjects as how the first king won his throne, why the grass grew greener there, the strange customs surrounding wedlock, the training of their knights, and lastly the traditional oral tales of the Great Sorcerer King and his fight with the Goddess Saeru, all four of his listeners were comprehensively bored by the end of the tale. And confused. And slightly sleepy. Kru was the only one to actually yawn though; the other three were far too well mannered.
"So you see," Concluded Agahnim, the glory of having an attentive(ish) audience captivated for a whole hour adding some animation to his normally dull personality, "If Zelda has awoken Saeru, then she is cursed and if she does not manage to find all the signet rings, then she is doomed to turn into a monster."
"I see." Said Impa, coldly. Her strange red eyes glinted oddly, but only Nabooru suspected that she was actually rather dazed by this information. "And Link, if he knows this, will help her until the very end and then turn on her?"
"To get the power for himself." Agahnim agreed, "It is his duty as a Knight of Calatia. Once the seal on the Chameleon Stone is broken, he will take the stone and return it to his king."
Rauru's hand went automatically to his beard as he pondered this. It was so white and fluffy, and so soft to the touch, it reminded him of kittens and lambs and pretty, fluffy things and it comforted him. Plus, it made him look intelligent when he was thinking. He was thinking, sort of, so much information from such a dull source had shocked his brain into its slowest gear. "What if he doesn't?" He asked. Which earned him a glare from Impa. "I mean," He hastily added before Impa could sting him with a nasty comment, "For all we know, Link might have no intention of serving his king…"
"He hasn't got a king." Impa almost shouted, so irritated by Rauru's rambling speech that she was ready to burst. "Don't you remember, King Osira was slaughtered…he'll want to avenge that and restore his nation's pride. Any soldier would. And don't forget it was a Hylian led invasion – he…" She stopped at this point and her hands clenched into fists. "He is dangerous, I knew it from the moment I met him. If he's done anything to Zelda I'll…"
"Peace, Impa." Clucked Rauru, timidly stroking her arm in an attempt to calm her fury. His hand was whacked away swiftly but she did manage to half-smile in thanks as she stalked off. Nabooru watched her with an amused smile on her face.
"I have to find them." She almost shouted. "How? Agahnim, tell me how? I've got to go right away and…"
"Hmmmm," Sighed Agahnim. "Oh, Zelda. Yes, well I just so happen to have a spell that I use-I mean-made to track Zel-I mean-people."
"Why would you want a spell to track Zelda?" Asked Rauru, he watched Impa warily. He could see the distinct signs of Irate Sheikah warrior beginning to ignite in her eyes.
"Er…" Agahnim too saw the warning flashing in Impa's eyes and laughed nervously. "Did I say that?" Impa glowered at him and he backed away. "Er, well you see, there is this thing called a Seeing Stone…"
"Another stone?" Exclaimed Kru. "We are beleaguered by Stones today."
Agahnim have him a blank look and tottered over to his untidy, rather dusty desk, all the while muttering to himself. He began rummaging through his crammed drawers, tossing odds and ends on to the floor. Nabooru crept a little closer, her eyes fixed on the fascinating objects scattered all over the table. "Ah…here we are!" Agahnim finally announced, holding up a boring, dusty crystal ball above his head. He grinned inanely at it for a moment.
"What are you doing?" Asked Impa.
"My Seeing Stone. Ah, it is so beautiful…" He smiled again.
"How does it work?" Asked Nabooru, inching ever closer.
"Oh – you just place one hand here, and one hand here and say:
"ENOTS LATSYRC FO GNIDOAL, ESAELP WOHS EM and then the name of who you want to see." Agahnim smiled toothlessly at the beautiful Nabooru and added, with a good deal of pride, "It will show you anybody you want to see."
"Does it let you talk to them too?"
"Of course. It is almost as if you are there with them…" Impa remembered at this point the number of times in the past she had been convinced somebody was watching her, she could swear she had heard breathing but there had been nobody in sight. Suddenly it all became clear to her what it was. She cast her furious gaze back onto Agahnim. Fortunately, Nabooru spoke before she had chance to unleash her suspicions on him.
"Wow." She said. She gazed at the seeing stone in admiration then back at him. "You are an incredible magician. I can see why the Judges chose you as King of Hyrule."
"Why yes, of course you do!" Agahnim noted the way Nabooru smiled so infatuatedly at him and wondered if his newest love potion was so potent that just a whiff of it had made her fall for him. He smiled again. Nabooru inched closer, still staring at him. Her golden eyes narrowed slightly and her lips parted.
"You are so…" She murmured, sliding closer. Clearly she intended to kiss him. Wow, that potion was good! Agahnim closed his eyes and puckered his lips as Nabooru leaned over and…
SWIPE.
"What the…?" He exclaimed as he felt a weight mysteriously lift from his hands.
Nabooru grinned at the judges as she dashed towards the nearest exit. In one hand she held the Seeing Stone. "Thanks for this, I've had a really great day." She called. In her other hand she held a smoke bomb. "See ya, guys!" With that, she threw the bomb on the floor. Impa dashed a hand over her nose but it was too late. The air became instantly thick with acrid, choking smoke. Coughing violently, Impa dashed to the nearest window and forced it open. The three judges and their wizard king hung out of the window, gulping in lungfuls of fresh air, whilst the smoke behind them dispersed.
Far below them, skipping happily across the courtyard, they could see Nabooru. Her long, scarlet hair trailed behind her like a ribbon, and her elaborate gown danced in the breeze in her wake. As she reached the gates she turned and looked up at the window. Seeing the four faces crowed there, she grinned again and waved. Then she held the seeing stone above her head and threw it up like a ball. She caught it deftly and stowed it away in her bag, bowed low to the judges and blew them a kiss. The next moment she had vaulted over the gates and had vanished from sight.
"My stone. My precious stone." Mourned Agahnim.
"How did she do that?" Pondered Kru.
"Why did she do it?" Asked Rauru.
"Never mind that." Snapped Impa, still glaring at the spot where only a second before, the Gerudo woman had stood. "What I want to know is how on earth did she get down there so fast?"
Chuckling to herself, Nabooru ran towards the clearing where she had left her horse tied up. "What idiots!" She stroked the gleaming black neck of her stallion and smiled in memory of the judges' incredulous looks as she had whisked away the Seeing Stone from Agahnim's hand. "What did they expect from a thief?" She mused. The black horse tossed his head and stamped a hoof. She drew the Seeing Stone from her pack and studied it. "Well, I might as well try it." She murmured and rested it on the ground. She drew a mirror from her pack and checked her appearance, not that anyone would be able to see her, but still. After correcting a few rebellious hairs, and reapplying her lipstick she picked up the ball again. "Now then, Agahnim said to put one hand here, one hand there and then say…what was it…oh yeah, ENOTS LATSYRC FO GNIDOAL, ESAELP WOHS EM Ganondorf."
The surface of the crystal ball shimmered in all manner of weird colours for a moment, smoke polluting its clear depths, and shapes twisting and distorting in its centre. It started to heat up. Nabooru raised it to her eyes and squinted, it was difficult to make out anything. She was just starting to wonder if she'd cast the spell right when the blurry image came into focus.
"Oh…" She exclaimed. "M-my Lord, are you…are you alright?"
"Rubber Duckie swimmy here, Rubber duckie swimmy there…squeak and quack, quack and squeak, Swimming in my bath with…EEEK!" The little, yellow rubber duck flew from Ganondorf's hand as a mysterious voice assailed his ears and his happy little song ended on a shriek.
"Sire?"
"Nabooru, is that…is that you?" Snarled Ganondorf. Nabooru smiled as she watched him quickly tossing all evidence of rubber ducks, clockwork boats and flower petals from his bath. He grabbed a black towel and held it protectively over his naked self and glared into the darkness all around him.
"Yes Sir." She answered, only the faintest glimmer of amusement entered into her rich voice.
Ganondorf peered into the darkness. "You sound odd, Nabooru." He was trying very hard to regain his composure but was finding it a little difficult. It wasn't everyday your second in command, a woman you respected and (admittedly) found attractive, caught you naked in the bath playing with toys. "Where are you?"
"In the east of Hyrule, my Lord. I have just been visiting Agahnim."
"Agahnim? Why would you want to do that?"
"Er, you told me to, Sire. Something about Zelda?"
"Zelda? Zelda...? Who…is…oh, yes, yes of course! That Zelda." Nabooru saw Ganondorf run a hand through his orange hair and wondered if her King had managed to forget why he had sent her on such a perilous mission. Something told her he had. "Zelda, yes. Er, you went to see Agahnim about Zelda, does that mean you now know his secret hiding place?"
"Yes, and…uh, Sir, I can see your…ahem."
"Eeep." Yelped Ganondorf and moved the towel into a more strategic and modest place.
"Thanks." Said Nabooru, blushing. "Um, anyway, I stole his Seeing Stone. I thought I'd better report in and give you an update on my progress…"
Ganondorf listened with half an ear to the tale sprouting forth from the very air all around him. Although her voice was slightly echoic, he could almost see Nabooru in the very room with him. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Good because he always enjoyed seeing Nabooru. Bad because there was no way in a million lifetimes he'd ever want her to see him like this. All in all, it was a miracle he managed to grasp the main thrust of her story, namely that the judges had to find Link, and that she had stolen their means of doing so.
"So…what shall I do now, sir?" She asked, as she finished her tale.
Ganondorf thought for a moment, or at least, half of him thought, the other was still a bundle of confusion. His eyes wandered down to the abandoned rubber duck on the floor and he frowned. As soon as he knew she was gone he vowed to rescue his precious babies. But if she had a seeing stone there was no guarantee she wouldn't watch him at random times. He made her repeat the attributes of the seeing stone and then had a thought. Perhaps this new seeing stone would replace the one so cruelly taken away from him by that accursed scream that emanated from the forest. He could watch Enemies, and Zeroes and Great Bay again. A smile flittered across his harsh features.
"Find Zelda and then bring me the Seeing Stone." He ordered.
"Of course, sire." Replied Nabooru, bowing respectfully, even though he couldn't see her. She smiled as she watched him again. Seeing him so vulnerable (and quite naked) shed a whole new light on her beloved leader. He glared into the darkness, clearly troubled by something. "Nabooru…?" He called, after an awkward pause. "You still there?"
"Yes Sir."
She saw the trace of a genuine smile pass across his face as he glared into the nothingness all around him. "Don't ever spy on me again."
"I won't." She promised.
He paused again, clearly agitated by something but at a loss as to how to express himself. "Nabooru…?"
"Yes, my lord?"
"Good job."
"Thanks." She said, blushing again. It was not much of a compliment but coming from Ganondorf, her king, it meant a lot.
"And don't be too long. I wish to talk to you." He added.
"I won't be, sir."
"And call me Ganondorf."
"Yes... Ganondorf." She said. "Goodbye."
He grunted in response and turned back to his precious task of rescuing his toys from the floor. As he couldn't quite reach them he had to hop out of the bath. There was no sound from Nabooru but he still had the feeling she was watching him. He called her name again, but there was no reply. Deciding he was getting paranoid, he collected his belongings and hopped back into his warm bath. "Rubber Duckie Swimmy here…" He sang.
Nabooru stifled a giggle as she watched. One little problem had confronted her as she had bid her leader a fond farewell. She bit her lip as she watched him race two duckies against each other, singing all the while. She rested the stone on the grass and smirked as Ganondorf jumped out of the bath again this time to grab a handful of pink petals to scatter on the water.
So what she was doing was wrong, and slightly perverted. She couldn't help it. There was a slight problem with the Seeing Stone and until she resolved it, she might as well enjoy watching the show presented to her. She bit her hand again and smirked.
She had no idea how to turn the Seeing Stone off.
Oh, and happy April Fools Day for tomorrow! And if you're stuck here's a quick dictionary for you:
Transmogrify – To change into a different shape
Lycanthrope – To change into a wolf
Therianthropy – To change into any other animal
At least those are the definitions I found. Correct me if I'm wrong :s
Oh, and just so you know (if you've not already noticed) my lame spell is actually: Stone Crystal of Loading, Please show me… spelt backwards. How unoriginal ;)
