I woke early the following morning with butterflies in my stomach this was the day that I had been hoping for, for the last 20 years just after John had walked out of my life and took my nephews with him. I had to deal with my parents' deaths on my own, the wills and the disappointment from my father when I didn't join the family business but went into law enforcement instead. My mother's disappointment that I hadn't married and had children before she died, all of these things are much easier to deal with if you have someone you can talk to around you and this had been John. Even though there was a large age gap, we could always talk about things. He would tell me about things that had happened to him during the war, his relationship with Mary and how he was frightened that he wouldn't be a good father. I told him that he would be a great dad; he had been like a father to me more so than my own dad. My father was cold and distant at times and very rarely around spending lots of time at the office or on trips for business.
After Will woke up, we went and had breakfast, he could tell I was nervous and he leaned over grabbed both my hands in his raised them to his lips kissed them and said "You know how much I love you, that whatever happens today our family is going to be great, the kids will be loved and they will know who they are, who their family is and what they have done to keep the world safe." I leant across the table drew his face to mine and kissed him deeply, he always knew what I needed to hear and how to make me feel safe and I loved him for that. After we finished breakfast we headed back to the hotel room where I collected some of the old family pictures as I wanted to be able to show Dean and Sam their family and we left for Bobby's salvage yard.
As we pulled up in the yard, Dean was out front leaning against the Impala and my stomach flipped thrice, once with butterflies and then the babies reacting to the butterflies. I couldn't get over the fact that Johns' car was in front of me and I could reach out and touch it. I needed to know where my brother was and what had caused him to give away his pride and joy; I just hoped it wasn't for the reason I that come to my mind. He had once told me when I asked if I could have the car that the only way I would get the car, "was over my dead body". Will and I got out of the SUV, and I slowly approached Dean and put my hand out hoping that I would get a better reaction than two days ago, he stared and me but took me hand in his and shook it. With that we headed inside.
We were greeted at the door by Bobby and Sam, Bobby offered us a drink. We moved into the living room and sat down drinking our drinks in an awkward silence. No one knew who should start or even how to start the conversation. Eventually I reached into my bag and pulled out the photo album I had brought with me and asked Sam and Dean if they wanted to see pictures of John when he was young. The album covered John's life from the beginning to the last time I had seen him at the hospital when Sam was born. Sam took the album and a smile came across his face, I could tell how much he wanted to see these pictures it was as though he had never seen pictures of when his father and mother
were young. Dean was slightly more apprehensive but they sat next to each other flipping through the album and every now and then would look up at me and ask a question about who was in the photo. As they were viewing the pictures I could see so much of John and Mary in the boys, my heart was filled with joy. A hand touched mine and I looked up and Will was smiling at me, "I know our kids will have your kind eyes and my smile" he said to me and I smiled back at me "I hope so" I replied.
When the boys reached the last picture in the album they both looked up and said "is this it?" I took the album back and knew that the hard part of the conversation was about to start. "Yes that's the last photo that I have. It was the last time I saw John. I was on my annual visit to John and Mary's, when Mary went into the hospital to have Sam. Whilst John was with Mary in the delivery room I stayed in the waiting room keeping Dean occupied." Sam looked at Dean who shrugged his shoulders and said "I was four dude, I don't remember anything". I continued telling them what I remembered about the day that Sam was born how much he weighed and how long he was. This caused Sam to move uncomfortably in his chair and Dean to smirk slightly. I turned to Dean and said "I was there the day you were born as well", and told them his height and weight which caused the reverse reaction.
By the time we had finished looking through the album it was lunchtime and we all headed for the kitchen were Bobby had prepared lunch for everyone and we sat down to eat. As we eat a leisurely lunch, the twins were moving around a lot and I couldn't work out what was either upsetting them or making them happy, I hadn't worked out how their movements changed according to mood yet. I excused myself from the table telling everyone that I needed to take a walk. I left the men at the table and went outside as I spotted the Impala, and walked slowly towards it I had sudden rush of emotions. It was though I had started to pick up on what the twins were feeling, at first this was unsettling and I started to feel dizzy and reached out to steady myself. The next thing I knew was Will's arms were around me, and I was leaning against the Impala. This time there was no "lady get your hands off my car", instead there was "are you alright, do you need anything, we need to get you inside". We started back towards Bobby's; on one side I had Will and one the other Dean who were both keeping me upright and steady. I don't know what had brought Will and Dean outside but at that moment I was just glad to see them.
We stepped into the house and I moved to the sofa and sat down, Bobby appeared with a glass of water and Sam brought in a damp flannel, which he put around the back of my neck. They all stood over me with concern on their faces. I turned my face to each of them in turn and said "I'm ok, just a lot of emotions all at once and the twins were dancing up a storm". Sam and Dean turned back and said "do you want to take a break; we have time we can get together again tomorrow and pick up from there". I turned to them and said "No, I'm ok. Give me a couple of minutes I just need to get the twins settled again, I'm not sure what set them off". I sat there quietly watching the concern on Sam and Dean's faces and saw John during Mary's pregnancy, it was amazing how like their dad they were, I just hoped that my children would be like that with their dad. The twins settled right down, and my emotions leveled off I no longer felt all the emotions coursing through them, this was something new and I would need to look into it but not now.
As I was feeling more like myself and the twins were now calm, I asked Sam and Dean if they had any questions about anything they had seen in the album or in general. Sam started by asking "Where have you been and why didn't Dad tell us about you?" I responded "Well, I'm not sure why your Dad didn't tell you about his family. We had a falling out when you were about 5 months old Sam, I phoned your Dad to tell him about a vision I had had of Mary on the ceiling with blood dripping from her stomach and him leaning over your crib." As I was talking about my vision, Sam turned to Dean, his face dropped, and he stood up and started pacing saying "He knew, he always knew, why didn't he stop it" Dean turned to Sam and said "He didn't believe, any more than I believed you when you first told me, I told you it was a nightmare, that's probably what he thought". They were having the discussion as though Will and I weren't in the room. I looked at Will and we both whispered, another youngest Winchester with a gift.
I interrupted the boys as I could see from the body language that this was about to get very vocal. "Sam, Dean's right, John thought that they were just nightmares. He didn't know about our family's history. The youngest member in each generation of the Winchester clan has a gift. I have visions and have had them since the age of 14, my uncle John's younger brother was telekinetic (could move things with his mind), and my grandfather was both."
This made Sam's eyes go even wider and he exclaimed "That explains so much" we all looked at him in puzzlement and he proceeded to tell us about what the demon had said to him whilst he was trapped in Cold Oak, "I am looking for the best & brightest of your generation, that there were other generations, let's just focus on yours at the moment" and how at the time he had tried to get the demon to tell him what he meant but how he was also focusing on trying to find a way get out of there alive. Dean in turn said "What the hell, dude, when I asked you after if he told you anything else, you told me no. You didn't think that I needed to know this? That this wasn't important, that maybe we could have used that information for research purposes." Sam looked back at this brother slightly forlornly and whispered "I didn't know how to tell you, it turns out that it was my fault that Mum died after all, I couldn't bear for you to look at me with disgust." Dean pulled Sam towards him, grasped his face between his hands and said "How could, you think that, that I would ever blame you for Mum's death. This is not your fault; it has never been your fault" The boys were both deep in their own thoughts and had obviously forgotten where they were and who they were with.
Will and I left as we were both starting to feel uncomfortable at being here during a deeply personal moment between Sam and Dean. On the way out we turned to Bobby and said "let the boys know that I am sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories or cause problems between them. That we will be at the hotel and if they want to get in touch again you've got the number." Will and I left the salvage yard, and I looked into the rear view mirror hoping that this wasn't the last time I would see the boys, they had found out some of their history but I still had unanswered questions. We arrived back at the hotel and I started to feel unsettled again, and the twins were moving around a lot again. I really needed to work out why all of a sudden at 6 months I was picking up the twins emotions, it hadn't happened before and as far as I was aware this wasn't one of the Winchester gifts..
