Thanks ABitterPill for betaing. If there are fans of Warhammer 40K nearby, check out my new humor fic, Property Damage!
Disclaimer: reading this means you're awesome. Think positive.
Chapter Nine:
Through the Eyes of Madness
Even before his favorite bowl of ramen, he couldn't enjoy the moment.
"Is something bothering you?" Ayame asked, approaching him. "Your heart doesn't seem in it."
"I'm thinking about a friend," Naruto admitted. "Her life is in danger and I can't stop worrying."
"Is it about what happened during the exams?" Ayame asked, causing the teen to frown. "I heard jounin discussing you were wounded fighting dangerous ninjas near Konoha's borders."
"It's linked to that, yes." He was surprised there were rumors on the Forest of Death's events, and that they reached even Ayame. "You don't seem happy either," he said, trying to change the subject.
The young woman inhaled sharply. "It pales before your problems."
"Go on. If I can help, I will."
Ayame smiled slightly at this. "Dad and I have been thinking about expanding the restaurant," she admitted. "Adding sushi to the menu, recruiting more workers, building a bigger restaurant, but we do not yet have the necessary funds. A Ramen Stand is fun, but it doesn't make you rich."
"Oh, I can help you with it," Naruto said. "Are you free tomorrow morning?"
"It's my day off." Ayame raised an eyebrow. "What do you intend-"
"Oi, Naruto!" Lee's voice cut the discussion short, as both the spandex genin and Neji Hyuuga sat next to the blonde. He suddenly realized how impolite he had been, and bowed slightly. "I apologize if I interrupted your courtship."
Both Naruto and Ayame blushed slightly, before rolling their eyes in perfect synchronization. Neji was vaguely annoyed by the reaction. "Lee wanted to spar one more time against you," the Hyuuga coughed, after politely bowing to the waitress.
Naruto groaned briefly, before finding a nice contest idea. "A yo momma duel." Everyone glanced at him strangely. "Psychological warfare is very important in battle. The contest will teach you to resist such attacks."
"Oi, yes, it will reinforce our spirit!" Lee grinned and started. "Your mom is so fat she can't see her feet."
"That's all you've got? You mom is so ugly I mistake her for your dad all the time."
"You mom died because she saw your face at birth and had a heart attack."
"Your mom is so poor she can't pay attention to you," Naruto replied, slightly impressed by Lee's ruthlessness. "That's fun because it's true."
"Your mom is such a vixen you got whiskers."
"Alright, you force me to use it." Naruto adopting a threatening fighting stance. "The yo mamma-geddon."
Lee blinked. "The what?"
"A joke so absurd it makes you want to eat your tongue," Naruto explained. "I refined it through years. An insult so powerful no one can survive it. I distilled the very essence of hopelessness and suffering in a single sentence."
"Bring it, Naruto," Neji replied blankly.
"Your mom is-"
Due to the possible presence of kids in the audience, the narrator will skip straight to the reactions of the people present.
Neji's expression crumbled into unadulterated shock.
Lee started crying.
Ayame reddened like a tomato.
Teuchi, working in the restaurant's kitchen, wanted to eat his tongue, but couldn't find the strength to.
The ramen bowls somehow moved away from the blonde.
"Naruto-san… that was disgusting!" Lee complained, washing away his tears.
"I don't care, I won," Naruto boasted. "You can't possibly top that."
"Naruto, I didn't know you had such a dirty mind…" Ayame trailed off, her face colored crimson.
After paying his bill and saying goodbye to the Ichiraku's owners, Naruto left with Neji and Lee, hanging out in the night. "Tell me," he asked them, "What kind of flowers does Tenten like the most?"
Lee scratched the back of his head, slightly surprised by his friend's question. Did he finally catch on? "Why?"
"Well, she did something pretty nice to me and I wanted to return the favor."
"I think from you, she would like roses better," Neji pointed out, inwardly hoping his friend would get the hint.
Unfortunately, he didn't. "Really?" Naruto asked, slightly confused. "I didn't think she was the kind of girl to like them."
Neji glared at the Jinchuuriki silently. "Moron," he told him bluntly. "How can someone like you be both so tricky and yet so damn oblivious?"
"What?" He frowned at Lee and Neji. "What's wrong?"
The two genin exchanged glances. "Which of us is going to tell him?" Lee wondered.
"I'm not," Neji deadpanned. "It's not our problem."
Naruto prepared to retort something, when they were interrupted by a strange duo. "Say it," Han told Sasuke, as they walked through the street.
"No." The Uchiha had traded his usual black shirt for a white one with the sentence 'I love dolphins' written on it. He obviously wasn't happy with it. "I refuse."
"Do you want to learn the Water Dolphin Missile Jutsu that kills everything that bleeds or not?" the giant asked him. "Obey the Han or suffer the consequences."
Sasuke inhaled sharply. "I love dolphins," he said, every word sounding painful and ridiculous.
"That's the spirit. Everything is better with dolphins." The former Iwa-nin grabbed Sasuke's shirt and dragged him away. "Now, the Han will give you the power of a radioactive shiny dolphin!"
Naruto's group stayed silent an instant. "What just happened?" the Hyuuga prodigy asked.
"No idea," the blonde sighed, rolling. "Now, what's the problem with Tenten?" Once he glanced at the spot his friends used to occupy, he realized Lee and Neji had vanished. "Bastards."
Shrugging, Naruto went on a silent, lonely walk, observing the sky. He finally spotted Fuu's transformed body flying nearby. It landed on the training ground they usually used to spar, causing the blonde to go there. Once he arrived, the Jinchuuriki had adopted her human appearance once more. "Hi," she said, once he caught up to her. "How was your meeting with the Sandaime?"
"Pretty nice. How was your flight?"
"Nice. Nana says it would be good if you were to ride me next time, it enjoys your physical contact." She suddenly realized the accidental innuendo, and ground her teeth. "Not even remotely what you think it means."
"I never said it. Trust me, I'm the victim of this kind of misunderstanding from time to time." Naruto crossed his arms. "About Taki-"
"I don't want to talk about it," Fuu cut in suddenly.
"Never did I." He put his hand on her shoulder, making her squirm in surprise. "Look… whatever happened there, I wanted to say… here at least, you are welcome. I don't know what the Taki-nins did to you, but I promise you I will do my best to be a good friend to you."
The girl was slightly surprised by the admission, but beamed with happiness next. "Thanks," she said, briefly hugging him. "You're going to return home?"
"Later. I've got to-" He suddenly clenched his fists. "Fuu, prepare yourself."
The girl immediately broke the embrace and adopted a fighting stance.
A few meters away from them, under a tree, a young boy with red hair and cold eyes was standing, motionless.
"Tell me," Gaara of the Desert spoke, without any hint of emotion. "What is your name?"
As the Yonbi was fully extracted, as life was reaped from its Jinchuuriki's body, a god contemplated his work.
Death and life did not matter to Pain. He who could raise the dead as an extension of his will, and could ruin thousands of lives in a matter of seconds, was not troubled with such trivial considerations. Roshi had been nothing more than an ant crushed under a boot. A statistic. A small sacrifice fueling a greater design.
Yet, sometimes, the deity remembered what it was to be human. To have such a fragile existence, to love, to smile when you achieved a goal, to laugh at a joke, to cry when your friends died. Pain had left that behind him long ago.
No, there was only his dream, and obstacles in the way.
Five, he mused to himself. Five remain out of my grasp. And four wait in the Leaf. Could it be a coincidence? Or do the nine aspire to be one once more?
Madara had insisted he should leave his lair for once and attack the Leaf in person. The leader of Amegakure had refused, preferring to focus on unlocking the secrets of the Sage of the Six Paths, the secrets of Chakra itself. The ancient Uchiha had cursed and stormed off.
Whether or not the masked individual was indeed Madara Uchiha or a fake did not matter to Nagato. Legendary or otherwise, he was a mere man.
And Pain was a god.
Yet, Pain knew he wasn't omnipotent. Quite the contrary, in fact. He would die one day, be it in a week, a month, a year, or a decade. He would not leave long enough to enjoy his utopia, but at least he would lay its foundations. He would die in peace then, and only then.
Nagato closed his eyes, and dreamed of paradise.
"You," Gaara whispered softly, "What's your name?"
"Naruto Uzumaki." The blonde narrowed his eyes. How the psychopath had managed to sneak up on them and why, he had no idea, but considering his personality, a fight might break out. The ANBU watching me can't have missed it, he thought, noticing at least one masked man observing the scene from afar.
"I'm Fuu," the girl spoke, interlacing her fingers, prepared to strike. "You're Gaara of Suna, correct?" Of course, she was perfectly aware who he was, but preferred to play fool and better surprise him.
"Yes." The madman stayed silent an instant. "Jinchuuriki. You are the incarnations of demons too."
"Demon vessels," Naruto corrected, understanding playing dumb was futile. "How did you guess? Is it the Shukaku who told you?"
"Yes," he replied, unsurprised by their knowledge. "I wanted to see your eyes."
"Happy with what you see?" Fuu deadpanned.
Gaara made no sign he acknowledged her presence. In fact, all his attention was focused on Naruto, both teens having entered a silent staring contest. "Naruto Uzumaki, what do you live for?" Gaara's voice betrayed no hint of emotion.
"To be the strongest," Naruto replied, inwardly slightly disturbed. He had the feeling the madman would sense any lie and answer with deadly force. "To be at the top of the food chain."
"So you're a predator too." Gaara glanced briefly at Fuu. "And you?"
"To become the strongest kunoichi the world has ever seen," the Taki-nin said confidently.
"Good." Gaara shrugged. "Then you will understand why I have to kill you both."
A surge of pain flared in Naruto's neck, and he started releasing killing intent. "I would like to see that," Naruto threatened coolly.
"This is the way things are. I must be the strongest. Anyone who challenges this goal is a threat to my life." Gaara snorted, sand swirling around him. "Not yet. I will seek you out later. You will validate my existence."
As the psychopath vanished from their sight in a tornado of sand, Naruto glanced at his shoulder. The Curse Seal was sensing its host's murderous intents, but his will and Jiraiya's seal kept it in check. "Psycho," he whispered.
"Naruto, be wary," Fuu warned. "Nana and I can defend ourselves, but-"
"Hey, I can defend myself too." Whatever hopes he had of convincing Gaara to join them had been thrown out of the window. The boy was too unstable to be left alone. "I will have him killed for threatening us." It wasn't a possibility. It was a fact.
Fuu snorted. "I doubt he will leave us a choice in the matter."
The worst part, Naruto mused darkly, is that I could have ended up like him.
Fuu went on to return home, offering to carry Naruto there by flying. The blonde politely refused, having another matter to attend to first.
Returning to the town, Naruto decided to seek out Jiraiya. The man was most likely near the hot springs, observing naked girls from a vintage point.
As it turned out, it was exactly what the pervert was doing.
"Ah, I like night baths," Jiraiya chuckled, as Naruto climbed onto the roof. The man was watching his unsuspecting victims through a telescope covered with seals. When the genin pointed a finger at them, the Sannin grinned. "They allow me to see perfectly in the dark."
Somehow I get the feeling he became a legendary ninja just to peep better. "I see."
"I see? That's your answer?" Jiraiya glanced at him strangely. "Don't you even want to take a look through it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I learned what happened to you once you attempted that on Tsunade, and I'm in no rush to be hospitalized again."
Jiraiya shuddered, his facial expression utterly priceless in Naruto's humble opinion. "That was one single instance where it went horribly wrong!" The super-pervert instinctively glanced around him, as if the mere mention of the event would induce bad luck. "Seriously, how can't you seize the opportunity to peep on the hottest naked women in Konoha? Then again, I'm sure you're a girl magnet."
"You mistake me for Sasuke," Naruto snorted, sitting next to the Sannin. "The guy has got more fangirls than friends. My fanclub consists of only one girl."
Jiraiya glanced at him. "You're blonde, you've got blue eyes, you've got a pretty face, and your whiskers give you an exotic appeal. If you focused on flaunting your mysterious past and developed a brooding loner attitude, fangirls would flock to you like no other. Seriously, convert to emo-ism and they will worship the ground you walk on. Go shirtless from time to time and they will kill for an autograph."
"Sorry, I'm the friendly neighborhood type," Naruto snorted. "Anyway, I didn't come for your advice, as useful as they could be." I wonder if he could give Sasuke pointers how to get rid of fangirls. "I expected you to be more difficult to approach."
"What? The fact I'm an excellentninja does not mean I have to be haughty or a loner. Some of us grow well-adjusted."
Naruto decided perversion was not the definition he would give to 'well-adjusted', yet kept his mouth shut. "I've got a few questions to ask you. About summoning."
"If this is whether or not you can let a giant snake materialize right in front of me, you can dream." Jiraiya snorted loudly. "Why didn't you take the toads instead? Snakes are ugly jerks. No offense to your previous teacher."
"Nah, I understand." Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "To be honest, their values and mine aren't that far apart. I think we will have good chemistry, if I could fuel the summoning jutsu, that is."
"You've got a giant chakra battery in your belly." Jiraiya pointed a finger at the genin's stomach. "I specifically designed it so the Jinchuuriki could access to maximal influx of chakra in case of need."
Naruto frowned. "You designed the seal?"
"Helped design it, with your mother and the Yondaime Hokage, before the Kyuubi killed them both. We were prepared to transfer the Kyuubi anytime should Kushina be grievously wounded or on the verge of death."
That, Naruto didn't see it coming. "I learned you taught the Yondaime-"
"But not that I was friend with your mom?" Jiraiya dropped his telescope and locked eyes with the blonde boy. "She was perhaps one of the only women with whom I could maintain a friendship. She taught me a great deal about Fuuinjutsu."
Naruto narrowed his head. "What was she like?"
"Physically very pretty, with shining red hair, good nipples and one of the most wonderful ass-"
"No, I mean, personality-wise." Naruto barely managed to refrain himself from hitting the pervert.
Jiraiya shuddered. "Hot-tempered, wild, violent, with a sweet core. She was the kind of girl who would beat you up for a vague reason, and then treat your wounds afterward. You inherited her love for chatting and pulling pranks. She was extremely determined, brave, but she had enough smarts not to rush in desperate situations. She was a good friend."
"And my dad?" Naruto asked, hopeful. "Did you meet him?"
Jiraiya's expression darkened. "Yes."
"But you aren't going to tell me who he is," Naruto guessed, disappointed.
"The Sandaime expressly forbade me from doing so. And for good reasons." Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "Look, brat… your father was a good man. A great man. But he did something you may not appreciate. I promise you the Sandaime or I will tell you who he was, but not until you reach eighteen."
"I've had enough of being kept in the dark," Naruto cursed. "I have a right to be informed, damn it! I'm mature enough to take whatever truth that can be thrown at me."
"Sometimes, people do the wrong thing for the right reason." Jiraiya decided to switch the subject. "You wanted to ask me about summoning?"
Naruto did not bother to hide his annoyance. He wanted to push the issue further, but the Sannin's eyes silently told him to drop it for the time. "I want to fuel the Summoning Jutsu without relying on either the Kyuubi or worse, the Curse Seal," he explained. "I wondered if you had pointers or a solution."
Jiraiya scratched the back of his head. "Summoning an animal works by using your blood as an anchor, and chakra to fuel the space-time alteration bringing the creature to you," he explained, "Before the Sage of the Six Paths taught people how to use chakra, summoning rituals were fueled by violent ritual sacrifices. Blood is life turned liquid, so it makes a good substitute."
"So you imply I need to bleed a lot to summon creatures?"
"Impractical. You would faint trying to summon a viper." Jiraiya grinned. "However, there is an alternative power-source: natural energy."
The blonde was genuinely in the dark, causing the Sannin to mimic touching his neck. Naruto understood. "The Cursed Seal?"
"Natural energy is a special form of chakra produced by the terrain and atmosphere. You can say it is the collective chakra of the biosphere." Jiraiya crossed his arms. "The enzymes contained in the Curse Seal serve as an anchor to this energy. I heard of a extinct clan whose bloodline allowed a similar feat, so I suspect Orochimaru to have attempted reproducing the ability. I studied Anko's Curse Seal for years trying to understand its secrets."
"So you mean this allows anyone marked with it can gather this natural chakra passively?"
"It's more complicated," Jiraiya shook his head. "The Cursed Seal indeed stores natural chakra passively, giving an additional reserve to its user. You can say it turns someone into a pseudo-Jinchuuriki. However, the human body isn't made to handle this kind of chakra. It causes severe mutations that can be fatal, or force the body to adapt a form better fit to handle it. A frog or a bird, for example."
Naruto briefly shuddered. "Since I haven't gained wings, I guess the Curse Seal has a filter?"
"Orochimaru puts a tiny amount of his own chakra into each Curse Seal, which mixes with natural energy once the victim starts tapping into the additional reserve," Jiraiya explained. "On one hand, Orochimaru's Chakra prevents the user's body from suffering crippling mutations… but on the other hand, it starts mixing with the host's own chakra, which is extremely unhealthy and allows the madman to mess with your brain."
"Why not simply removing it then? Or replace it with another source of chakra?"
"Because I've yet to find a way to do so without killing the bearer," Jiraiya responded bluntly. "What I want you to understand is that the Curse Seal serves as an passive anchor and storage to natural energy, and my protections do not affect this. The natural chakra automatically surrounds you, although since it does not mix with the bearer's chakra - which you do not even have in the first place - without going through the filter first, it does not affect you or your surroundings in any way. But with the right summoning tattoos-"
"It would be possible to redirect the passive natural energy attracted by the Curse Seal, turning it into an external power source for the summoning," Naruto understood.
"Absolutely not," Jiraiya replied, causing the blonde to palm his face. "Natural Chakra fueling a Jutsu minus personal chakra as filter would probably make you grow a tail, or worse. You're such a biological anomaly I'm not even sure you wouldn't turn a bat-man or spider-man."
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Biological anomaly? Sure I've got an illness-"
"Boy, you are a living insult to nature." The Sage inhaled sharply. "Think outside the box. Chakra is needed to live. It's as important as the heart for someone to live. Chakra depletion kills. You survived for years without any chakra. Get it?"
Naruto actually never considered it under that angle. "You imply-"
"I imply nothing, I can only guess." Jiraiya clenched his jaw. "Either you have a rare genetic disorder, which the Kyuubi only made worse… or once upon a time, humans did not have any chakra and could live without it, which the Nine Tails was aware of all along. You are potentially showing our modern theory about chakra is wrong, or at least, incomplete."
The implications caused Naruto to blanch. "But how? Even civilians have a spark of chakra and can die if it is removed!"
"Because after a time, their body grow with this spark of chakra to the point their very life is linked to it. But, if we were to remove it from an infant, or surgically destroy his chakra pathways and tenketsu as the Nine Tails did while he was very, very young, he could, perhaps, grow up without any chakra at all. Nobody has tested it yet, and the moral implications of experimenting on babies stay my hand, unlike a former teammate of mine. The other option is that you have a genetic mutation which the Kyuubi's actions caused to manifest." Jiraiya locked eyes with Naruto. "Brat, only the fox has the answers to these questions."
"He will never give me the answers." Naruto glanced away. "Look, could we stop talking about my condition? Let's return on the summoning. If I can't summon, then what are your tattoos going to do?"
"They would allow you to keep a summon with you anytime."
Naruto raised an eyebrow, and the old man explained. "Summons, after a time, automatically return to their home because they strive on natural energy, which their homes are loaded with. That's why they're bigger and smarter than normal animals. The Elemental Nations do not have enough natural energy to support them for long. Have you never wondered why loyal summons simply don't make their nest in Konoha?"
Jiraiya inhaled sharply. "If I modify the Cursed Seal, I could turn it into a senjutsu battery a summon could feed on. An anchor that would allow it to remain in the Elemental Nations as long as it stays with you."
"I could have animal familiars," Naruto trailed off, "Who could help me anytime…"
"In a nutshell. It is a lot more complicated, but I think I can manage. But it takes time and efforts and I'm a busy man," Jiraiya lied through his teeth.
"Are you blackmailing me?" Naruto pondered whether or not he should threaten the pervert ninja of informing every kunoichi he could of Jiraiya's observation points, before deciding menacing Orochimaru's equal was a bad idea. "What do you want? Money? Dirty photos?"
"I'm filthy rich, and although the second proposal is interesting, I've got a better idea." Jiraiya grinned lecherously. "Since you spoke of my… one bad day… I guess you have a decent grasp of Tsunade Senju's story, right?"
"She left the Hidden Leaf after the end of the Third Shinobi War, and Gai mentioned she snapped after loosing close relatives." Naruto raised an eyebrow. "She's coming back to deal with the invasion?"
"Sarutobi-sensei wants to enlist her," the pervert seal master confirmed. "I'm pretty certain she's going to refuse and leave as soon as she can. However, I may have a solution to force her to cooperate."
Jiraiya gave a light tap to Naruto's back. "I heard you frequented casinos…"
"Anko!" Yugao struggled, her tanto parrying her friend's kunai. "Anko stop this!"
The kunoichi did not listen and attempted to punch the ANBU. Yugao took a step back to dodge, deflecting another incoming slash next. The other prisoners attacked, two of them attempting to flank Cat. Bloody blades emerged from their forearms, ripping apart their own flesh.
"She does not see you," she heard the masked man laugh mockingly. "All she sees, is what I want her to see."
As she struggled to stop the surprised assault, Yugao allowed herself a brief moment to observe her allies. Torune had already executed one of his attackers with a mere slap, microscopic insects assaulting the cells and brain. The technique was rare and feared, and Yugao was thankful not to be on the receiving end of it.
Meanwhile, Kakashi was casually deflecting the blows of two other 'patients'. Their teeth had been sharpened into fangs, dripping venom. It only took him a few hand seals to burn them into ashes with fire.
Unfortunately, Fu Yamanaka wasn't doing as well. Kabuto had seized the opportunity to free himself and counterattack. Scalpels of chakra formed around the medic's hands as he attempted to slice Danzo's solider in half, his speed betraying incredible experience and skills. Yugao was certain the man had been an ANBU once, before betraying the Leaf.
"You're very stupid if you think Tobiman is going to let you win," the masked man chuckled lightly, appearing behind Fu Yamanaka by surprise. He grabbed the poor Shinobi's head and in one motion, twisted the neck. As the corpse fell limp on the ground, the mysterious Akatsuki member touched Kabuto with his index. The scientist vanished, his body absorbed by the Sharingan. "Surrender, and Tobiman will let you keep two, yes, two, organs of your choice!"
Kakashi attempted to kill him with a Chidori, but both the attack and its user traversed the Uchiha as if he was made of air. "Who are you?" the copy-nin roared, attempting to cut the individual in half with a wind technique.
"An Uchiha, it should be obvious," the masked man deadpanned, unfazed by the blade of air. Another possessed prisoner attempted to tackle Kakashi, breathing fire from his mouth and nose. "Itachi Uchiha? Madara Uchiha? Why not Mikoto Uchiha? Take your pick, and let me delight in your confusion."
Putting her tanto back in its scabbard, Yugao attempted an iaido move. The strike cut in half her attackers, but she intentionally stopped her motion before she could reach Anko, opting to fight defensively. "Anko, I know you are somewhere in this thick skull of yours," she snarled, dodging a roundhouse kick from Orochimaru's former apprentice, "So wake up!"
"This is useless," the masked Uchiha mocked her efforts, his tone deepening into a frighteningly monotone voice. "These soldiers are the new face of the Shinobi world. Soulless automatons, robbed of free will. They cannot disobey. They cannot question the commands of their masters. They feel neither pain nor doubt. They fear nothing, not even death. They are weapons. And when I am done with you guys, you will join their ranks."
"Anko…" Yugao frowned. "You can't be that weak. You can't be a slave."
Anko Mitarashi's assault briefly stopped, causing the ANBU's eyes to widen in hope. "Anko, you are strong," she said, parrying the snake lady's kunai once more. "You survived Orochimaru's betrayal. You survived a lot of things. You can't let an illusion defeat you."
The previously emotionless kunoichi's face began to twitch slightly. Clearly, she was subconsciously struggling. "You are Anko Mitarashi, a Shinobi of Konohagakure," Yugao continued. "You have friends in the real world! People who are counting on you!"
The woman dropped her kunai and grabbed her temples, as if fighting an headache. "Don't you remember Naruto? Kurenai?" Yugao gave the final push. "Can you let this man steal them from you?"
"No!" Anko shouted, her eyes returning to their normal color. "I… I am no one's slave! I… I am!" She glared at the masked man, her face twisted into anger. "You asshole…"
"Oh, I am genuinely impressed you managed to break through the Limited Tsukuyomi." The mysterious Uchiha clapped his hands, oozing with arrogance and malevolence. "I guess I will have to do a little more field-testing. The human mind can be such a hard thing to break."
"Do you have any idea what you did to me?" Anko snarled, instantly summoning venomous snakes to bite the man. "You… you violated my mind!"
"I fail to see why it should bother me." He casually killed the animals with a volley of Shuriken, finding himself surrounded by the Konoha-nins, his thralls having been killed down to the last man. "Free-will is nothing but a cancer. Love, friendships, bonds, hope… these are words we tell ourselves again and again, until we forget they are lies. They drive us to pain and despair. Wouldn't it be better if they were removed? This way, you can see the plain truth."
"Which is?" Anko snarled, finishing a hand seal sequences.
"That whoever has the power, decides who wins and who loses. And I decided you would lose." As he vanished, a dozen explosive tags manifested in the space he used to occupy. "Die."
Most of the group reacted in time to leap backward, saving themselves from the explosion… but not Anko. She was too close to the source of the blast to escape it.
With a sickening noise, Orochimaru's former student was thrown against a wall, flames spreading over her body.
Two seconds later, the masked man materialized once more, slamming his palms to the ground. A blue inferno spread from them, consuming the walls and causing the ceiling to fall apart. Yugao deflected a chunk of rock that nearly crushed Anko with a powerful kick, allowing Torune to reach her and extinguish the flames with a water jutsu. "We need to find Kakashi-senpai and swarm the Uchiha," Cat commanded.
"No." Torune put the injured Anko on his shoulder. "The mission was to rescue her. We leave."
"Fuck the mission, senpai is still-" The Aburame didn't let her finish and escaped through the inferno. "Stop!"
A volley of fireballs were projected toward her, forcing the ANBU to dodge them one by one. The masked man teleported multiple times in quick succession, firing a new blast of fire from his open right palm every time. A wall of earth formed between them and Yugao, shielding her.
"Kohai," Kakashi's voice reached her ears, as he stepped at her side, "Get the hell out of there."
"And abandon you?" She tightened her hold over her tanto's pommel. "Are you mad?"
"Your fighting style is useless against his intangibility," Kakashi replied, revealing his Sharingan. "Only my eye can match his own. You might get caught in the crossfire."
Yugao ground her teeth. "You told me those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."
"By dying there, you are abandoning Anko and the comrades that wait for you at home." Kakashi locked eyes with her, as the wall of earth shook. "Leave now, or I will be forced to kick you out. I will beat him."
Yugao knew it was a lie, but right now, she truly wanted to believe it. "Promise it."
"I promise I will defeat him," Kakashi lied with fake cheerfulness. "I won't allow my comrades to die. I will protect you with my life. Now go."
Yugao reluctantly obeyed, praying whatever god who would answer to protect her mentor. "Oh, and one last thing," she turned to glance at her teacher's back. "Take care of little Naruto and Sasuke for me, will ya?"
"I promise," she said, leaving him.
Once alone, Kakashi took a step back, his Earth Wall shattered by a powerful fireball. Out of the growing flames, ignoring the crumbling ceiling as if walking through a garden, the masked Uchiha emerged.
"Pushing your friends away, so you can try some heroic last stand, how silly. You have a serious martyr complex." The masked Uchiha snorted, his Sharingan's tomoe being replaced with a new design. "You are but a deluded fool, Kakashi. You could have been a great Shinobi, and in the end, you became a great failure. You failed your father. You failed your teammates. You failed your teacher. You failed your students. You failed your sensei's son. And now, you're about to fail your kohai too."
"This eye…" Kakashi trailed off, horrified, as he recognized the eye pattern. The one his own Sharingan sometimes adopted in times of extreme stress. "Where did you get it?"
"Isn't it obvious?" The masked man shrugged his shoulders, then he teleported right in front of Kakashi, ready to hit. The copy-nin barely managed to catch the masked man's sucker punch with his open palm. "You said you won't allow your comrades to die. Yet, this is precisely what you did in the past."
"No…" Kakashi clenched his remaining fist, realizing the truth. "It can't be… you robbed his grave…" He pushed the man back, attempting to kill him with a lightning bolt.
"It was stupid of you and Namikaze not to get the body back," the masked man mocked him, the attack phasing through him. "Seriously, leaving little Obito under rocks and never bothering to unearth him and his Sharingan? How stupid can the Leaf possibly get?"
"Bastard!" Kakashi roared, unleashing a powerful gale of wind at the monster. The man shrugged it off easily, teleported right in front of his opponent, and punched his chest with enough strength to shatter a rib or two. The Copy-nin was tossed to the ground, a kick between the legs preventing from retaliating. "How can you do this?"
"I told you I was a magician." The masked man made a mock reverence, as his foot stomped on Kakashi's face, breaking the nose. "However, the preparations for my greatest show aren't finished yet. A part of me wants to let you live to see it… and another really wants to kill you. So hard to choose…" The mysterious Uchiha appeared to reach a decision. "Be happy, Tobiman is going to let you live this time. See you soon, doggy."
"Get back!" Kakashi snarled, as the individual dematerialized into nothingness. The ANBU captain cursed, doing his best to get up and dodge falling debris.
Outside, Yugao glared at Torune, who deposed the unconscious Anko to the ground. "Kakashi-senpai can't win alone," she stated angrily.
"He will manage," the Aburame replied. "The mission is to bring Mitarashi back alive to Konoha. That's all that matters."
"No! What matters is not leaving your comrades behind like some trash!" Yugao complained. "We must go back-"
"Mitarashi will die."
The sentence, said with a chilling, flat tone, caused Yugao to pause and confirm his words. Unfortunately, this was an evidence, now Cat could see the damage the explosion caused.
The explosive tags had blown up a good chunk of Anko's torso, from the breast to the stomach. The flesh had been consumed by the heat and flames, revealing the heart. "She will have an hemorrhage soon, if the burns and concussion don't kill her first in the next minutes," Torune said without any hint of emotion. "Fu might have been able to keep her alive. But unfortunately, my knowledge of medical jutsu is limited-"
"Do something about it!" Yugao commanded, despairing over what was happening. This is a nightmare… I need to wake up… "Anko, stay alive please, the medics-"
"Cat…" Anko glanced at her friend, blood flowing from her mouth. "Last words are for those… who haven't said enough… so please… listen."
Yugao approached her face to Anko's mouth, listening to her weak plea. "Kill the… snake bastard…" She smiled briefly, adding another demand to her last request. "Watch… the brat…"
"I will," Yugao promised, seizing her friend's hand. "Anko… I'm so sorry, I should have…"
At this point, the words were for naught. Anko kept staring at her, her eyes devoid of life.
Yugao would have cried, if she still could. Torune, for all his blunt stoicism, did not try to tell her to move. They just stayed there in silence, as if time had stopped.
"Cat…" Kakashi put an hand over her shoulder. "Let's go home."
A/N: when you think about it, the fact Obito is revealed to be Tobi means Konoha (and by extension Minato and Kakashi) didn't bother to unearth his body. I think I would be bitter as well if my comrades didn't bother to try getting my body back after nearly two decades.
An Iaido move is releasing the sword from the scabbard to strike. The movement is stronger than a normal strike if executed well. Which is what Mifune does all the time.
The Yo-momma moment was a shout out to a Deadpool/Spiderman duel you should all check out. There was a shout out to Order of the Stick too. Guess where.
I personally think Pain's madness/sadomasochist tendencies come from the fact he can revive anyone, anytime. Human life just doesn't matter anymore to him: you are but an object he can repair anytime for him.
About Anko, first law of Naruto: any mentor a character has, tends to die in a very emotional scene which leads the student to take a level in awesomeness. Enough said. And the 'teleport plus explosive tags for the win' move is taken from Ultimate Ninja Storm 3. The Masked Man is seriously broken (although he pales before Deidara).
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