Whilst we had been talking the full implications of what the boys had told me hadn't had the chance to really sink in. During a break in the conversation, Bobby and Sam went to get everyone a drink and Dean and Will started to talk about hunting and the monsters that they had tangled with. As the room became suddenly quiet I felt the need to get out and getting some fresh air. , I was finding it hard to breathe, I had lost my brother, and he wasn't coming back this time. I made my way outside and sat on the porch swing. I sat there swinging slowly, rubbing my stomach and thinking about what I had lost. As I was sat there I noticed that my cheek was getting damp, I looked into the sky expecting to see rain but the sky was clear and I realized that I had started to cry and soon I was sobbing so hard that I was having a hard time catching my breath. I started to scream at the heavens "How could you do this to your sons? How could you leave them alone fighting this fight?"

I had told Dean I understood but he wasn't here now and I was angry at John, had he realized the damage and the pain he would cause doing what he did. I then yelled at the heavens "How could you do this to me, you left me with Dad and Mum, you cut off communications with me for over 20 years, what did I do to deserve that, you cut me out of my nephews lives, you never got to meet my husband a great man who loves me, you never got the discover the family secret, and you blamed me for Mary's death I was 16 years old how could you think that I was linked to that". As I was yelling I was getting angrier and angrier at John, the tears dried up and suddenly from the pit of my stomach I could feel the anger boiling up and as it reached its peak the windshields in some of the cars in the salvage yard exploded. I turned around and found Dean and Will looking at me in astonishment and concern.

Will said "Bobby's back with the drinks and after that display I really think that you need a drink and so do we". We made our way back to Bobby's living room and began to drink in quiet Sam picked up the obvious tension and asked "What's going on". I said "I was a bit upset by the news and had to go outside for some air and to vent". Dean jumped in with "A bit upset, what happens when you are very upset, and why did Dad blamed you for Mum's death?" As Dean was talking Will was moving himself into the space between Dean and me and he turned to Dean and said "Back the hell off. You don't know what you are talking about. You've had a year to deal with the news of Johns' death, your aunt has had 20 minutes, so if she needs to vent at your Dad then she will vent at your Dad. Bobby by the way we owe you half a dozen windscreens, sorry about that". Bobby looked at Will in response and said "Don't worry about it, there all Junkers and only used for spare parts so windscreens are not important."

As the tension was growing in the room I could feel a pressure in my head building. It was the same feeling as I had just before all the windscreens went bang and I knew I couldn't let that happen in her, so I started to hum (Stairway to Heaven) in the hopes that it would calm me down. Everyone in the room turned to look at me and in unison said "Led Zepplin" I said "Yes, it calms me down. It's a trick John taught me and this was the song he used to use." Dean said "I know, he taught me the same trick. Remember Sam I told you about it on the flight from hell" Sam and Dean exchanged a knowing glance and turned to me and said "We'll tell you about it someday".



Will stepped away from Dean and came and sat next to me on the couch and said "Are you sure you're ok, you got quite a shock today. I know you really hoped he was still alive." As he was talking to me in the quiet manner that he has I was becoming calmer and so were the twins. I said "Yes, I'm fine. It was a shock to find out about John and I hadn't really prepared myself as well as I thought I had, but I'll be fine. As to the other thing that's new and I'm not sure how I feel about that, the visions I can deal with but being telekinetic is a whole new ball game. I'm wondering however whether it's my power or the babies. Do you think it's possible that one of them is empathic and the other is telekinetic? You know I have been picking up on their emotions over the last month and that may explain what happened outside."

I could see from the corner of my eye Dean, Sam and Bobby looking at each and mouthing "What the hell is going on?" I turned to them and told them that they all needed to sit down as I had something to tell them, Will took my hands in his and asked me "Are you sure you want to do this?". I said "They have a right to know, it's their family too". Dean, Sam and Bobby sat down and I began to tell them what I knew about the Winchester history. How the youngest in every generation was named Sam or a variation thereof 'Samuel' and 'Samantha' and that yes they were related to those Winchesters and had an inheritance coming to them of close to 5 million each. I assumed that as John had not told the boys of my existence and as Dad had cut him off then he hadn't told him about his parents either. I told them about my parents and the huge argument that Dad and John had had when John wanted to do things his own way. Dean looked at Sam and said "I told you, you two were more alike than you ever wanted to admit".

I reminded them of the conversation that we had during our first visit about the last time I had spoken to their father, but included everything that I hadn't told them last time. I told them how after Mary had died John had phoned me and asked me "Why did you do it, why did you hurt Mary, I thought that you loved her. " I told them that I had pleaded and begged him and tried to explain to him that I had nothing to do with Mary's death, but either he didn't believe me or he needed someone to blame and at that time I was as good as anyone. Both of the boys jumped in "It wasn't your fault and I am sure as soon as he spoke to Missouri he realized it to but the stubborn son of a bitch wouldn't know how to apologize. He probably thought that he had done too much damage for you to ever forgive him. He may also have thought when he knew about the demon that he was keeping you safe, he was really great a keeping things secret to keep people safe." I asked "Missouri, who's Missouri", Sam replied "She's a psychic that Dad met in Lawrence shortly after Mum died. She told Dad about what's really out there and put him on the path to find the demon that killed Mum. "

We had been talking for about an hour and I asked Bobby if I could get another mug of tea and asked the boys if we could take a break from the family history for a couple of minutes. The boys said "No problem" and headed into the kitchen with Bobby. I needed to get my head straight after the last revelation. John had know all this time that I wasn't involved, he knew what had killed Mary and he hadn't bothered to ring me and tell me he was sorry. I could feel the anger growing again and I then felt a hand reach for me and I started to calm again. Bobby and the boys came back in with the drinks, I took my tea and as I slowly started to drink it I was getting calmer and calmer. It was strange 

even after all this time how my big brother could get to me as though I was a teenager who needed his love and approval.

I started to tell the boys what I had found out when I researched the family tree, how the youngest Winchester in each generation had inherited a gift and that I was unsure what this meant for the twins. That in the whole Winchester history there had never been a set of twins born to the youngest in a generation. Sam almost leapt up with glee, he could see the potential for research and a wide smile brightened up his face, this was something he could do to help. His smile reminded me so much of John at that age, how one smile from him and I could feel everything would be ok. I could see so much of John in both of his boys, I wonder if they knew how alike they really were.

We also discussed what I had found out about Mary's side of the family and the links to the Colt. How she and Pastor Jim were related and how the oldest male in her family had all been hunters so with or without her death, Dean was destined to be a hunter. What was not destined was for Sam and John to join the group as well. Dean should have received the Colt on his 18th birthday and along with it the ability to create bullets for it. The Colt however had disappeared many years ago along with the ability to create the bullets. Dean came back with "We have it we have the colt however all the bullets are gone. Bobby has been trying to get it working again."

Sam and Dean sat there in quiet and shock, I could sense the thoughts being passed between them. How did we not know any of this, why didn't Dad ever tell us and why was Mum targeted, was it my fault. I looked Sam square in the face and said "It was never your fault, anymore than it was my fault. Whatever that thing told you, you are not too blame for anything, Your Mum's death, Jess's death or your Dad's death and that goes for you to Dean. Your Dad was probably so focused on the demon that killed your Mum he didn't research her family, I mean why, would he think it was important. I did it to try and find him; I was trying to see if there were any relations he would go to after Mary's death. I contacted Jim Murphy and explained who I was and once he had done the checks he told me he knew John Winchester and that he would pass on my contact details and get John to get in touch. He never did. As to our family history, I was just coming into my powers when he left and it was then that our parents told me what was happening, if he had been around he would have been told. I was also told how to control them, this gives me the ability to manage the pain when a vision strikes and also to call one when required.

As I was saying this I looked at Sam and as in unison we both reached for our heads, I could tell from my experience what was affecting him. He hadn't been shown how to manage the visions and the pain. I would need to sit down with him and show him the exercises my uncle had shown me to control the visions and manage the pain. As I was clearing all thoughts from my head to focus on the vision as I had been taught, I got a clear picture of Sam laid out on a bed in what come across as an old town from a western TV series and Dean sitting in a chair talking to his non moving brother in complete agony. He got up kicked a chair and left the house, got into the Impala and drove to the nearest crossroads where he summoned a demon and made a pact with him. The next thing I was back in the room with Sam, who was looking at his back and Dean came into the room and grabbed him into a hug. After this the vision broke and I was back at Bobby's looking at my nephews 

wondering if this had already happened or did I need to stop this from happening. Then I remembered something that I had seen in the vision as Dean was leaving the town, it was a bell with an old oak tree on it. This was Cold Oak, North Dakota and I recalled the conversation when Sam had mentioned Cold Oak and what the demon had told him. This had already happened, why was I seeing something that had already happened and had Sam seen the same thing. Had he felt the pain his brother was in that forced him to the crossroads? Was the deal the reason for the tension between the two boys? Sam turned to me and said "Yes, it did" and he then turned to Dean and said "I get it now, I may not have got it before but I get it now, I get why you did what you did. I still don't like it but I get it now."

I looked at Sam and said "we need to talk some more, but I need to go and rest now. If you boys and Bobby don't mind we will swing back tomorrow and we can talk some more." Sam looked up worried, do the visions really take that much out of you when you control them, I said "No, being pregnant takes that much out me". He replied you are definitely a Winchester, you've got the snark down completely".

Will and I left Bobby's with a plan to return the following day at 10am, Will would talk to Bobby and Dean about hunts they had been on and I could talk to Sam about controlling his visions. We also said that we would need to do some more research into old 'Yellow Eyes' as Dean referred to him and his links to Lilith if any.