Chapter 32
Rey followed Ben out of the boardroom and down a series of hallways. Ben had been quiet since the meeting with the knights. She suspected he was distracted by his thoughts. Her own mind had been quite full of questions and wonder at what had transpired. "Where are we going?" she asked.
He paused then, and his cheeks tinged red. "To my room," he said.
"Oh," Rey said, surprised to find the answer simple. "Well let's go."
Ben ran his fingers through his hair. "I've never brought a girl to my room before."
"Is it different than bringing me to your ship?" Rey asked seriously. He was nervous, and Rey didn't know why. After all, they had spent most of the last week in the same living space.
Ben sighed at that. "I suppose it's not," he said, and they continued on.
Rey frowned, wondering if she had missed something important, but she was too curious about his living quarters to be distracted long.
Ben unlocked the entry and let them in. Rey took in the bed, the desk, and the general simplicity of it as Ben pulled Growlie out of his pocket. "We're home, Growlie." The porg fluttered down and immediately set to exploring the place.
Rey watched Growlie attack a chair leg and wondered at the lack of decoration. For though her AT-AT home was all made from scavenged scrap, she had flowers and decorations. Ben's room had nothing of that nature except for a pedestal that had some weird, half-melted mask on it. "What is that?"
"A piece of the past. Darth Vader's helmet, retrieved from his funeral pyre on Endor. He was my grandfather."
Rey frowned, trying to remember if she already knew they were kin, but decided it didn't matter. "You don't have any other decorations."
Ben shook his head. "They were frowned upon. What would you do here?"
"Holoscreen of the view outside… flowers, and colors other than black and gray. Books… I don't know. I've not been in many normal homes, but something."
Ben removed his cloak and gloves and tossed them on the chair Growlie was investigating. The porg fussed at him and turned to investigate the cloak instead. "Well, we won't be staying here long." He paused. "I wanted to thank you in there. You were amazing. I don't think my knights ever expected a rumored jedi to face them off in my defense."
Rey smirked. "I expect not, but they weren't all against you."
He shook his head. "No, they weren't. I was surprised. I had trained them to be impersonal and rational, and yet I must have failed them. They all had attachments of some sort."
Rey snorted. "I'll say. The two next to me were holding hands under the table."
Ben raised his brows. "Rypo and Teva were holding hands?"
"They were. They seemed different from the others. More prepared. I think they already suspected the truth of Snoke's death and us. Maybe from what they saw of us in Coruscant."
Ben frowned and dragged a hand through his hair. "I guess I should be thankful they didn't expose us earlier, but I don't like this. How do we know it's not a trap? They have no reason to be faithful to me."
Rey frowned. "Were you cruel to them?"
Ben shook his head. "No. You know I take no pleasure in hurting others. I did my best to be fair and efficient with my knights."
Rey smiled. "So you were a good leader. Why wouldn't they be faithful to you?"
He stared at Rey with a frown that appeared half surprise and half consternation, and Rey's smile broadened.
"You're so shocked. You know I see the real you, and it seems they do too. Honestly, I thought they would be a lot more sinister. I saw the knights once in a vision. You were there too... In a dark field of corpses in the rain. I was terrified. But seeing them in person with their masks off… They're just people, aren't they? Just like you."
Ben reached out and stroked her gently along the jawline. "Perhaps." He reached into a pocket and pulled out the yellow kyber crystal. He gazed down at it. "I told you I wasn't ready before. I think I'm ready now."
Rey blinked at him. Hardly a cycle had passed since he told her he hadn't been ready to address the crystal. "What changed?"
"Confronting my knights. Admitting the truth of what happened. Openly declaring our relationship and my intention to leave the First Order… I don't feel like the man who fled Skywalker for Snoke and dreamed of becoming the next Darth Vader. I don't feel like Kylo Ren anymore."
Rey jumped back and stared at him with a slack jaw that slowly morphed into a smile so broad and brilliant it almost hurt. "Really!?"
Ben returned her smile with a lopsided one. "I'm not exactly Ben either, at least, not the Ben my parents envisioned… but I'm not Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was born when I joined the First Order. It's only fitting he die when I leave."
"Will you come up with a new name?" Rey asked.
Ben shook his head. "I'm done with new names. I don't need to kill my past-just redefine it."
Rey hugged him tight and leaned her head on his chest. "So I can keep calling you Ben Solo?"
"You always called me Ben Solo," he said, returning the embrace and kissing the top of her head. "I am Ben, but I am Ben with two sides, a light and a dark. A red lightsaber and a yellow one."
Rey pulled back far enough to study his eyes. "You intend to keep your old lightsaber?"
"It's still part of me, and we are equals in the force. We seem to both be destined to wield two blades," he said and stepped to his desk, where he pulled up a data pad and sat down. "There. I've ordered the parts to be delivered here. What should we do while we wait?"
"I don't know," Rey said. "Do you have any idea who you will choose to replace you yet?"
Ben shrugged. "I'm tempted to eliminate Banto given his threat to you, though he is my second-in-command."
Rey frowned at the word choice. "You only mean to rule him out and not actually kill him, right?"
Ben gazed at her thoughtfully. "I am tempted to do both to ensure your safety, but I only mean to rule him out for now. After all, you are more than capable of holding your own against him. I do not believe Teva would make an effective ruler. He is a follower, as are Nighwitch and Jun'Pon. That leaves Banto, Rypo, and Hama-Ki."
"I like Rypo best of those three," Rey said seriously.
"Despite our earlier conflict with her?"
Rey shrugged. "She thinks for herself, and she doesn't seem to have an agenda beyond what's best for the First Order. She also has Teva's dedication."
"A dedicated lover does not make one an effective leader," Ben said.
"Says the man who offered me to rule at his side when he inherited the throne," Rey countered, but she smiled to show she meant no malice.
Ben studied her and gestured her towards him with a finger. "Come here," he said and patted his lap. "I want to kiss you."
Rey raised an eyebrow at him and stepped closer, but not within reach. "You want to kiss me while I'm sitting in your lap?"
"I want to enjoy my time with you before my lightsaber parts get here. Now come. Here," he said, and he gestured with his hand. Rey felt the force drag her to him until she stood pressed against the chair between his knees. He released her then. "Please?" he asked, gazing up at her.
Rey shook her head in disbelief, torn between amusement and annoyance. "You used the force to bring me to you," she said. Ben had the decency to look sheepish, and she grinned, recognizing he hadn't meant ill and feeling mischievous herself. "I'll kiss you… if you can catch me," she said, and she shoved the chair away with the force at the same moment she leapt in the opposite direction to stand near his door. Growlie, who had been nestling in the cloak left on the chair, fluttered madly around the room squawking.
Ben stood up from the chair quickly and gestured towards the bed, tossing Rey onto it. Rey grabbed a pillow and flung it at Ben, who blocked it with his forearm. Ben leapt for the bed, and Rey force-lifted him into the air, trapping him several feet above her.
"Remember my question from the cave?" she asked while he studied his predicament. "If we could fly if we force-lifted each other?"
Ben studied her for a moment and smiled. And then he lifted her.
This story now has +1 Reylo fluff.
Please tell me what you think. :)
