Firstly, sorry I've not updated for a while. I've just started a new job and got a bit distracted with that, I will try to update this at least once a fortnight from now on. I will try to make the chapters better than this too. It aint my best work..
Anyway, many thanks to ADD Kyuubi Naruto, I Like Yoshi, I.K.A. Valian , Yuleen75, Link's Ocarina Babe, Princess Mara of the Universe, QuinKilo1055, la generala, Booklover13, Super Goat Grl and stonerock333 (can't believe I had 11 reviews last chapter! THANK YOU) for your reviews. I love to hear from you and hope that you notice that I do learn from your comments! I shall stop waffling now and let you get back to the story.
Chapter Twenty Three - Truth
"Mail call." The high-pitched, ever so annoying voice of the infamous postman stirred Rauru from his post-breakfast snooze. Smoothing his beautiful moustache down and and shaking his fluffy white hair, he half fell out of his chair to answer the door.
It was as expected. The postmaster himself stood at the door, hopping from foot to foot, an inane grin plastered across his face. His red clothes and cap were almost, but not quite, as cheerful as he was. Even his hair was a variant on the confident, cocky red theme (he had just dyed it to match his clothes). He had two thick envelopes clasped lovingly at his breast, his eyes were filled with joy – a joy only known to him. As soon as the door opened, the grin widened, he scraped a quick bow and extracted the first of the envelopes holding it out only to snatch it away as soon as Rauru's plump fingers almost twitched it from his grasp.
It was one of the more annoying habits the postman. Somehow he had developed the idea that because a letter had at one time been in his possession, it was his goddess-given right to be privy to the contents of the said letter. It was a perk of his job, he thought, and it gave him an incredible amount of insight into his fellow Hylians' lives and a good deal of information for blackmailing them later. Hence the reason for his happy grin. He was on to a winner with two thick envelopes full of juicy intrigue addressed for the personal attention of the three Hylian Judges.
His finger was cocked under the red seal of the first letter, ready to ping it open with a satisfying little crunch noise as the wax and paper separated however Rauru knew his tricks and he made a lunge. Seeing that his prize was about to be stolen from him, the postman shrieked and danced out of the way. But Rauru had a hold on his prize and, like the postman, he was not going to let go. A tussle commenced.
"Give me my mail." Demanded Rauru, dragging one way.
"But I want to read it."Wailed the postman, pulling in the opposite direction with equal vigour. It was a testament to the paper that it withstood the abuse so far.
"It's not yours." Tug.
"Yes it is!" Pull.
"How can it be yours when it's addressed to me?" Shove.
"If it's in my hands, its mine." Snatch.
"Do you know who I am?" Grab.
"Yes, a meanie who won't let me read private mail in peace." Ominous tearing noise.
The argument grew louder and louder and probably would have resulted in a rather unfortunate fate befalling the two precious letters, had the tiff not been suddenly and violently interrupted by a hundred pounds of girl-meat slamming into the middle of them, her arms, hair and legs flailing magnificently. The momentum sent all of them (including the hapless letters) flying. The girl was heard muttering obscenities to herself as she spat the dirt from her mouth. The postmaster, was about to snatch the two letters back and claim victory (because nobody was interested enough to correct him) when a fourth person joined the fray. The tall youth, conspicuously clean and neat, seemed curiously disinterested in the fate of the girl, instead of helping her to her feet, he stooped down and claimed the letters for himself.
His bright blue eyes scanned the name of the addressee and then he looked at the postman. The postman's inane (and slightly scary) grin appeared again. Against feeble (and crazy) old men, he was game for a spot of wrestling the post from their hands, but against such a tall and well built youngster, he decided that a dignified retreat would be in order. He helped first the beautiful young lady to her feet, politely ignoring the string of profanities that spilled endlessly from her lips, and then helped Rauru with the air of one who was doing a neighbourly act.
"That'll be ten rupees." He announced. The youth smiled peacefully and handed the mail to Rauru. He nodded a 'good day' to the postman, grabbed the girls arm and marched her indoors. The door was pushed to behind them.
"Oh well, it was worth a shot. Good day." The postman sighed and then tipped his cap in Rauru's direction. He felt a little deflated. Given the excellent, efficient service he provided, he did sometimes wonder why he never received a tip.
Considering that he had just won a battle, Rauru paid little attention to his prize. His ears were trained on an argument going on just behind the door. Unlike the postman, he knew the identity of the young girl and the youth who had interrupted, and ended, his battle for his mail, but he was confused by their behaviour. In all the years he had known Zelda, he had never before heard her swear so eloquently and at such length. He was rather impressed. She was not swearing now and her voice was lowered to a throbbing whisper. He could only make out the odd phrase such as "Stupid body...all your fault...I want to die..." The phrases were interlaced with a glorious amount slanderous and insulting nouns describing her companion's deprived character.
He heard Link chuckle and then Zelda retorted something about scissors and a Biggoron-sized apple pie. The chuckles went quiet and the next moment, Zelda sprinted from the house once more with Link in pursuit. Though he was faster than her, she was more agile and could easily out-manoeuvre him around corners and over walls. They were out of sight in less than a minute. Rauru smiled sentimentally and thought of wedding bells, and Impa's fury. That happy thought dampened his mood considerably and he remembered the letters. "I wish I could escape from her too." He thought as he ambled back indoors.
Rauru managed to get about an hours further slumber in before Impa returned home. She had been visiting some of her contacts in Castle Town, and had taken Kru with her. Her arrival coincided with that of Link and Zelda's return. Zelda's hair was suspiciously straggly and Link looked sublimely furious. Of the promised scissors and apple pie there was no sign. Impa was pleased to see that her two charges were apparently not on speaking terms again (they had over the last few days dithered between loving and loathing one another – Impa preferred and thus promoted the latter state). The two seemed to realise simultaneously that Impa was watching them again. Link blushed and Zelda rolled her eyes and they slipped away as unobtrusively as possible.
Impa watched them with an odd look in her eyes, and continued to stare at the spot where they had stood until Rauru accidentally remarked that there was something very fishy going on with Zelda. As this remark was directed at Kru, he did not at first see the glare cast in his direction from a pair of red eyes. Kru foolishly agreed and added that the girl seemed to be losing the plot, what with locking herself in her room, predicting her death, swearing at Link and generally behaving in a most unladylike manner.
Impa's left eye started to twitch. Zelda was her personal charge. Only she had the absolute right to cast dispersions on her ward's character. Rauru and Kru were treading on very thin ice. Unfortunately, they did not remember Impa's rather startling maternal instinct when it came to protecting Zelda's reputation until she softly dared Kru to 'to repeat that comment'. Kru's mouth closed with an audible pop and he winced. Disaster was only averted when Rauru happily remembered the letters that had been delivered. This was enough to divert her attention.
There were two letters. One was instantly recognisable to the judges and all three shared a moment of unity as they indicated their exasperation. Sometimes they wondered why they had chosen Aganhim to be the next King of Hyrule. Still, they had made that particular bed, and they would lie in it (or at least they would until a better option came along). None of them wanted to open the letter particularly. Hideous memories of the last correspondence received from the wizard filled their minds. Rauru was very tempted to consign the note to the fire. Sheer politeness prevented this course of action. With some trepidation his fingers broke the seal...
All three judges sighed with relief when the paper opened. There were no songs this time. The last letter he had sent had actually been a sort of enchanted singing telegram that sang "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song..." so loudly and inexhaustibly, that Impa had been forced to shred it to tiny pieces and burn it and then stamp on the ash then scatter it into the wind (even then faint echoes of the refrain drifted on the breeze for some time). There was no musical accompaniment this time, although the paper was enchanted so that the letter read itself aloud (in a similar manner to the method the postman liked to adopt). Unfortunately, as it was penned and narrated by Aganhim, its contents were rather long winded. It began:
My Dearest Judges, the Esteemed Rauru, the Eternally Regal Impa, and Kru...the...uh...other Judge, Greetings. I trust that the day finds you in good health and spirits, if it does not it is doubtless the cause of this dreadful and illegal Kingship currently proclaimed in all Hyrule as being the Reign of King Ganondorf. King! Hah, the very notion of that heathen as a King is a mockery of all Hyrule holds dear. Why I...
The letter continued in a similar vein for two or three pages, procrastinating on the evils of a Gerudo Wizard and the benefits of a rule a good, kind, wise read ancient and slightly insane Wizard-King would bring the nation. It was not surprising then that the minds of the Judges switched themselves off. In fact, it crossed Rauru's mind at various points of the pointless narrative that he would much rather heard the "Get On Your Nerves..." song, although this letter and the song had much in common.
It was only after about half an hour of waffling that Aganhim decided to get to the point of his endless missive, namely that he had "found further information pertaining to the Chameleon Stone and deemed it worthy enough for their esteemed attention. It appears that the Free Sword, namely the one calling himself Link, is far less innocent than he appears to be. Apparently he was actually a rather significant figure in the late King-whatever his name was-court. It is common knowledge-" Wrote Aganhim "-that his name was granted to him through a ceremony, I was not before clear on how this impacted on his nature as a Calatian Knight...It seems that the Chameleon Stone was his responsibility...he was privy to its secrets and should know the whereabouts of the Dream Snatchers – key to the unlocking of the Stone's power.
"Had Calatia not been overthrown by Hyrule as she was, then he would have been commissioned to come to Hyrule to seek out the keys to unlock it. Now Calatia is no more, it is surely the key to reviving that once great nation. The task of the Free Sword, is to restore Lefestra, the first sorcerer King, to his rightful throne. If he is still travelling with your delightfully beautiful ward, then she is in great peril (I would recommend handing her over to me for her protection). But I digress, Link will have no use for her once he has unlocked the power of the Chameleon Stone. The lovely Zelda is the only one who can unlock the Chameleon Stone, I believe it is something to do with a certain ritual spell only she can perform.
The reasonable course of action would be to dispose of this 'Link' without further delay. However, that is not a feasible option, he has ensured that. Zelda has been cursed. Without Link's aid, she will not be able to defeat the Dream Snatchers, thus unlocking the 'Stone, and if she does not unlock the 'Stone, she will be condemned to live in eternal darkness of mind and soul. I am sure, if you question the 'Free Sword' he will tell you all about this (you might have to use a little persuasion though).
It would also seem, although my sources are a little vague about this, that the title Free Sword was only ever bestowed on one other man – Lefestra – creator of the Chameleon Stone. I would not wish to alarm you either, but I should add at this point that the names bestowed on Calatian Knights are 'family names'. I would not wish to raise such a horrendous possibility, given that you are aware of Zelda's own prestigious heritage, but there is a slim chance that Link is actually related to the Ruling Class of Calatia and therefore might not actually be the filth that we imagined him to be. Or at least his blood, though a blackened heart still beats in his chest, may be more blue than peasant red. This dismaying news can only be compounded with thoughts of the true depths of depravity of what that once glorious family much have sunk to spawn such an unholy idiot as that one..."
The letter rambled on for some more time, growing more and more irate in its tone, and less and less coherent. Impa gave up listening after five more minutes, and after only one glance in Rauru's direction, Agamhim's letter had been scrunched up into an impossibly small ball, and was stamped on by a Sheikah boot until it was flat again. Either the letter had come to its natural end, or Impa's fury had counteracted the magic in the paper, for the voice faltered and then fell silent. It took a good hour, and three pots of tea (and a plate of macaroons) before the judges could face looking at their next piece of correspondence.
They were surprised to discover it came from King Ganondorf. They rarely had any dealings with him, despite him being their monarch. The letter was short and sweet, merely advising them that they had better hurry up and proclaim him as Rightful King of Hyrule by the time the next full moon rose, otherwise he would have no choice but to become a Tyrant. He delighted to inform them that he still had the Chameleon Stone in his possession and was on his way to visit Aganhim, that fool, to find out exactly how he could use it. He ended the letter with a few threats against them, and Zelda (of course) and signed it as their ever benevolent sweetheart of a King, Ganondorf.
"Charming." Said Impa, consigning the letter to the fire. "Well, now what? Which problem shall we tackle first – the Idiot King or the Idiot Calatian?"
Rauru shrugged. In his opinion, both men were as dangerous as the other. At least with Ganondorf they knew where they stood. Link was a wild card and if Aganhim was to be believed, he was the greater threat. He said as much to Impa.
"Yes, but which is the greatest threat to Hyrule?" Wondered Impa.
Fortunately for her musing, it was just at this moment that Link himself wandered into the kitchen. He ignored the judges completely. Impa glared as he ambled past and called his name. Link ignored this too. Of course, Link was not actually Link, but Zelda in his body and Link's body had decided that it had an uncontrollable hunger that only bread and cheese would satisfy. Although her experience at walking in Link's shoes was not quite as traumatic as Link's experience of being a girl, she was not really enjoying herself. For a start, Link's body was hyperactive. It could not sit still for more than a minute, which was torture for a girl who loved quiet contemplation. Secondly, she found herself becoming obsessed with dangerous pursuits and rather naughty thoughts. She also had walked into a groin-height chair by accident. She would never forget that pain. And Link's body seemed to require a constant supply of food.
On the plus side, she had managed to make a few changes to Link's appearance that suited her. His hair was shorter and neater now, and his clothes were beautifully matched. His nails had been polished (but fortunately for the real Link, not painted) and his eyebrows plucked. And then there was the rare moments when she accidentally touched his stomach muscles, she would catch herself guiltily in the act and blush furiously but did not deny that they were nice to touch. She caught herself again as that thought crossed her mind. She did not like Link in that way, she told herself as she deliberately moved her hands away from herself, she should remember that.
Suddenly she felt a slap on the back of her head. She swung around and found herself facing Impa. The Sheikah judge was glaring up at her, hand ready to slap again.
"Is something the matter?" Asked Zelda, giving the hand a wary look.
"Yes, you ignorant oaf!" Snapped Impa. "Do not ignore your superiors for a start. I called your name three times and you did not respond."
"I..." Zelda sighed and realised that she probably had forgotten that she was supposed to answer when people called 'Link'. "Sorry." She muttered.
"Humph. Sit down, boy."
Force of habit made Zelda take the proffered stool without a word. The judges were slightly bemused by Link's docility and the way he folded his hands in his lap, crossed (and then swiftly uncrossed his legs with a wince) and then gave them his polite attention with a slight incline of his golden haired head. Were he not a man, and therefore absurd looking in such a pose, he would have looked rather like a well bred, but bashful, princess.
Rauru glanced at Impa, expecting to see her glowering at him, for it was common knowledge that the Sheikah woman disliked Link greatly. But she was not glaring. To Rauru, she appeared to be puzzled and a little suspicious. The next second, the odd look vanished, replaced by an exasperated grimace, apparently caused by the way Link had suddenly grinned at her and asked, in the most innocent manner, whether she had been sucking lemons again.
Impa was privately glad that Zelda had not been around to see the look that passed across Link's face as he spoke. The way the amusement danced in his contrasted with the angelic innocence of his smile in such a way that even she, who disliked him so much, was not entirely impervious to his charm. She almost smiled back but stopped herself in time.
"Impa, what is the matter? You look so angry. Has something upset you?" Came Link's voice. The words were delivered with none of his trademark cheek but with a depth of sincerity that could not have been faked. It made the odd look flash in Impa's eyes again and she gave him an uncomfortably close look.
"Ah..." Began Impa, dazzled by an absurd thought that had just crossed her mind. Realising that she was staring at Link a little too closely, she quickly rallied her thoughts and schooled her face back in to its familiar glare. "Are you aware that Ganondorf has the Chameleon Stone?" She asked.
"No...does he?" Stammered Zelda. She had not known that but had the feeling that Link, the real Link, did know. Or at least, that Impa expected the real Link to know that fact. "Er...so..."
"So?" Impa's eyebrows shot up and her eyes flashed. "Is that all you can say, fool? SO? You tell me what that means!"
"I...uh...don't...don't really know." Admitted Zelda, ducking her head and playing with the sleeves of her tunic. "Is it bad?"
"BAD!!" Impa clenched her fists and visibly made an effort to control herself. Zelda cringed in her chair. "You are the Calatian on a quest to recover the damned thing! Don't think you can get away with playing the fool with me, boy! Your game is up! I know all about your little charade."
Zelda blanched at this. She wondered how on earth Impa had figured out the dreadful truth. She and Link had been diligent about avoiding the Sheikah judge where possible. How could she have found out what she had done? "P-pretence?" Whispered Zelda, looking at everything but Impa. "I d-don't know what you are t-talking about."
"I am talking about this!" Shouted Impa, grabbing Aganhim's scrunched up letter and trusting it into Link's face. Had she known that Link was actually her charge in disguise, she might not have tried to break his nose at the same time. As it was, Zelda yelped, and scrambled to fight of the parchment that was threatening to suffocate her. Eventually Impa let go, and stalked off to the other side of the room. Zelda looked at the seal and frowned. "I thought you never read letters from Aganhim?" She asked, forgetting for a moment that Link would not have known that. Impa swung around, red eyes flashing again, Zelda gulped and stammered an excuse: "I mean, Zelda told me you don't read 'em, ha ha."
"Just read the note." Sighed Impa. She watched closely as Link read the letter, noting how his cheeks flushed in annoyance and how he bit his lip. "'Link...is far less innocent than he appears to be..." Read Zelda, aloud. "Why can't Aganhim talk and write like a normal person?" She asked.
"Because it makes him feel special." Replied Impa, with a very rare smile.
Zelda soon grasped the concept of the extremely long missive. Her friend Link – the man who had her body and was currently lounging in bed prophesying his own imminent demise, was a liar. The letter fell to her lap and her fists clenched tightly, her cheeks were very pale. She had trusted Link and had liked him and could hardly grasp the fact he had used her – was using her to get the Chameleon Stone back.
"Well...?" Asked Impa sternly. "Care to enlighten us on what you're really playing at, Link?"
Zelda gazed at her guardian for a long moment, she hardly noticed that Rauru and Kru had been dismissed. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears and knew that at any moment, she was going to snap, whether through rage or disappointment. She took a couple of deep breaths. "That idiot. Why didn't he tell me...?" She muttered.
"Pardon?" The odd look was again writ on Impa's face.
"I will tear him limb from limb." Vowed Zelda, forgetting the act she was supposed to be playing. "That little swine! How could he do this to me? He is-was my f-friend..."
Had she cared to look at that moment in time, Zelda would have seen a look so incredibly and incredulously furious pass across Impa's face that it would have made even the real Link cower. The red eyes narrowed dangerously and her left eye twitched compulsively. It took a moment for Zelda's senses to pick up on the bad vibes skimming across the air in her direction. She glanced up at Impa and bit her lip and then looked back at her hands.
An awful silence spread across the kitchen. Even the merry cackling of the fire seemed distant and cold. Impa's lips were pursed together tightly and she appeared to be holding back a massive force. Zelda could easily guess what it was. It was the judge that broke the silence. Her voice was low and did justice to the cold fury that was burning her blood. "Zelda?"
'Link's' head bowed low and a noise, suspiciously like a sob, broke from his lips.
"Zelda?" Repeated Impa, a little kinder.
"Uh-huh."
Had she not been crying at this moment, Zelda would have witnessed something nobody had ever seen before – Impa's eyes were full of pity and a sympathetic smile played on her lips. "What happened?" She asked, a little sternly. Something, whether it was the sight of Zelda's tears marring Link's cheeks or just the absurdity of the situation, prompted Impa to restrain her annoyance. She listened as Zelda told the broken story of how she and Link had accidentally traded bodies. Impa managed to keep calm throughout this recital, and only remarked at the end, "Well I hope you have learned to be more careful what you wish for."
Zelda nodded and sniffed pitiably.
Impa sighed a long sigh and looked out of the window. Keeping her temper in check was so difficult for her, but she that getting angry at Zelda would not resolve anything. Getting mad at Link, however-
"I think am going to visit our little invalid..." decided Impa.
"I'm coming too."
If there was one thing Link knew well, it was the art of self-preservation. He slipped into an adjoining room and waited for Impa and Zelda to pass. He glanced one last time at his body – his faithful, beautiful body that he loved so much, and almost betrayed a sigh. As they climbed the stairs, whispering murder and retribution to one-another, he slipped off towards the kitchen and clambered silently out of the window.
The sheikah outfit he wore lent itself to stealth and shadows, and Zelda's body was slender enough (despite him discovering that she had a chocolate addiction which he did not hesitate in giving in to) for him to slip into small gaps and narrow passageways.
Aganhim was correct. His sole purpose in life was to break the curse of the Chameleon Stone. That was why he had come to Hyrule in the first place. He had listened to the reading of Aganhim's letter in its entirety and had chuckled at some parts, and sighed at others. Whilst Aganhim's information had been correct, his insight was not so accurate. Link's reasons for wanting to unlock the Chameleon Stone were not centred around restoring a nation but saving the life of just one person.
As he slipped out of Kakariko Village in his stolen blue and white sheikah gear, he wondered if Zelda would ever come close to understanding why he had never told her the real truth about himself. Or whether she would ever realise that there was something that he was afraid of. He did not look back as he wandered down towards Hyrule Field. He whistled for his horse (the same horse the Ranch girl had given him, which was still roaming the field awaiting his call since being abandoned near the lost woods). It came trotting up in a matter of moments.
It was only about half an hour later as he was nearing his destination that he realised he was forgetting something rather important. He had left Amber behind.
Link's curse was almost as loud as the angry shriek that had escaped Impa's lips when she realised he had vanished.
Sorry it wasn't a great chapter. By the way, the post man was not the cameo I was talking about. All will become clear in the next chapter. Which I am determined to post in less than two weeks. Best get writing then...
Bye for now XX
