My eyes were getting heavy and I really wanted to sleep again, Will looked at me and said "Sleep, you need your rest and I need to get home and see the boys. I will be back first thing in the morning." He then left me to my sleep and went back home to our family.
Three days later and I was now in a private room having been moved out of ICU with a reasonably clean bill of health. I was still being closely monitored although the checks were now down to once an hour from once every ten minutes. On the last visit by Dr Brodie she had updated Will and I on my condition. She explained the surgery and that I would need annual checkups to ensure that the bleed from the aneurysm was not recurring. As she was telling me this all I could think was that this was not over, that I would live the rest of my life not knowing if or when the time bomb in my brain would go off.
When Dr Brodie left Will took hold of my hand, and a wave of calm came over me and said to me "I know that this is scary Toni, but we will get through this as we have got through everything else. You know that this is not going to affect your work at the bureau. The surgeon has said that she will clear you for duty when you are discharged. You will still have a job that you love. Lilith is gone. Aidan and Cole are safe. This is not going to affect the way that they see their mum or how you interact with them. Dean and Sam are safe and you have contact with them they are not going to drop out of your life again." I smiled back at him and said "I know that but it's just really scary, I have a time bomb that could go off at anytime. The other thing is what effect will this have on my abilities and my ability to help the boys with their powers." As I finished that sentence the room to my door opened and Sam walked through "You don't need to worry about that Toni, I can help with teaching the boys on how to use their powers like you taught me. That's what family does for each other" and as he finished the sentenced he looked back over his shoulder and said "don't you agree Dean."
A huge smile came to my face as I saw my nephews for the first time in 4 days. "Of course. That's what we are and family is everything, Dad taught us that. Admittedly until recently we thought he was talking about the two of us." Dean replied, as he was taking about John a bittersweet smile came to my face, I was remembering John being there for me, I hadn't told anyone yet about what I had seen and felt when I was out of it. Sam and Will looked at each other and then at me and said "What is it Toni? What's brought the smile to your face and the sorrow to your heart?" I looked between the three of the men in my life and said "I saw him, I saw John. It felt so real at the time but now I think that it was all a figment of my imagination resulting from the aneurysm. I missed him so much that as I was drifting away I imagined John was there to provide me with comfort. I thought he was there to bring me home, now I'm not so sure." Will was sitting on the edge of the bed leaned in and stroked the side of my face, Dean and Sam came to the side of the bed and held my right hand. They said at the same time "I'm sure it wasn't your imagination. You almost passed away twice that day and knowing what we know about the supernatural we're sure that a loved one would have come down to escort you over to the other side. You need to take comfort in that."
I looked at Dean and Sam and said "Thank you, thank you. You have protected my family when I couldn't. I can't thank you enough for doing that." Dean leaned down and said "Toni, you don't need to thank us for doing that. It has been an absolute pleasure. I've loved getting to know my cousins. Although they are identical even at this age they have their own personalities."
I suddenly felt this wash of complete love coming from everyone in the room, I looked from Will to Dean and ended up at Sam and said "The boys powers haven't gone. I suddenly felt a wave of love, and it was different to the wave of calm that I feel whenever Will is around. It felt the same as when I was pregnant with the boys and I knew that something was up. I didn't think that I would retain my powers after our confrontation with Lilith. I don't know if I can cope with that much power, especially with an aneurysm that may blow at anytime." Will looked at me and said "It's going to be alright. You learnt how to manage your power the first time and the doctor said that you've probably had the aneurysm since you were young. If learning how to use the power the first time or doing all of the training at the house didn't cause it to blow then I doubt that learning how to manage it this time will be any different." I took hold of Will's hand and said "Have I told you lately how much I love you and how grateful you came into my life." There was a loud cough from the other side of the bed and Sam said "Eh guys, we are still here.."
Dean took the opportunity and asked "Toni, has the doctor given you any idea of when you are going to get out of here?" I said with a little bit of hurt in my voice "You eager to get back on the road already?" Dean said slightly deflated "No, it's nothing like that. It's just Sam and I don't do hospitals. It's where we lost Dad and there are too many bad memories. We can't wait to get you home. We had even discussed hanging around for a while if that's ok with you." I grabbed hold of Dean's hand and said "Of course it's ok. You and Sam can stay as long as like. The doctor said that I should be able to go home in a few more days. They just want to make sure that my blood pressure is steady and that the coil has taken. I go for a CT scan tomorrow and the doctor will be back in after that to give me a better idea."
Sam and Dean looked at me and said "Ok we will head home, we've left the twins with Bobby for long enough. We're not sure who will have suffered the most." They headed out the door, when the opened the door to leave I said "Boys, thank you for coming and thank you again for looking out for my boys. I hope to be home soon." With that they left and I was left in the room with Will. He climbed up beside me on the bed reached up to my face and pulled it gently towards him and kissed me. His kiss was full of passion and love. I reached back and stroked the side of his face and kissed him back, transmitting the way that I felt about him in the kiss. He leaned down to me and said we need to stop this now before someone walks in or your blood pressure sky rockets and they won't let you home. We sat with him beside me on the bed for the rest of the visiting time, talking about our future, what we wanted and what it meant for the family now that Lilith was gone. Knowing that there other things out there in the dark that may come after the Winchester / Talbot clan how would we deal. We discussed the possibility of becoming a resource for other hunters to use, with our contacts we could become a research centre and with the family resources opening up fully stocked safe houses in different cities across the states that could be used for hunters. We decided that when I got home we would discuss this more as a family and make that decision together.
