Chapter 4: Trust Issues

I don't have the slightest clue how it happened but soon after we would take turns buying dinner once a week. It became a sort of experiment to discover what kind of foods each of us liked and disliked. I soon came to realize that he had a soft spot for deserts with his favorite flavor being vanilla and I also was forced to admit just how picky I could be when it came to food. More than once I didn't eat the entirety of my meal and he offered to buy me something else off the menu. I would refuse of course; there was no way I would have him waste his money like that. In most cases he would order dessert and after much convincing we would split it.

Perhaps that was his way of making us get to know each other better; he always was one for subtle tactics. In his own way he was trying to bring us closer together and without realizing it we were spending all of our free time with each other. In a blink of an eye six months had passed but it felt like I had barely known him a month.

We were inseparable and our friendship grew stronger as the days flew by with changing seasons. He gave me the security I craved and in return I gave him someone he could confide in. We balanced each other out in a way I wouldn't have thought possible and I was content.

Or at least I was until he found that cat.


With the rate I was progressing he insisted on practicing as often as possible so we ended up practicing on Saturdays in addition to school days. I always enjoyed the weekend practice more even though it ate up most if not all of my free day. I speculated that it was because we weren't pressured for time and could go at a slower pace than on the weekdays. Satisfied with the work we put in we would end around noon to grab lunch before parting ways to spend the rest of the day resting.

Today was no different and as I had just finished rounding up the stray tennis balls he motioned for me to stop.

"What?" I said slightly confused. He remained silent but pointed to the top of the fence. A tan colored Tabby had perched itself precariously on the top and appeared to be unable to get back down. It was about ten feet from the ground to the top of the fence and a bad fall could cause serious injury to the cat.

"How much do you weigh?" I gave him an offended look and he rolled his eyes.

"Just tell me. If the cat can't get down by itself I'll have to vault you up to it."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around with me vaulting you up?"

"Only if you're confident you can catch me if I fall." Given my track record of bad luck I could very well miss if I tried to catch him.

"Alright I'll do it but I'm not telling you how much I weigh." He shook his head but put his back against the fence for support and cupped his hands. He gave me a nod to signal he was ready.

"Okay now or never." I backed up and took a deep breath. I launched myself into a run and when I placed my right foot in his hands he heaved me upward. I latched onto the top of the fence and hung there for a second as a thought occurred to me.

I was wearing a skirt.

"If you look up I will murder you."

"Oh please give me some credit." I decided to trust him and pulled up to rest on my elbows. I then lifted one leg and placed it onto the other side of the fence so I was sitting on the top.

"Alright here kitty." I reached towards the cat and picked it up surprisingly easy. I figured it would be startled of my presence but it seemed content when I held it in my arms. Keeping the cat secured I carefully lifted my leg back over the fence to sit on the edge.

"Okay I'm com-"The cat squirmed in my grip and trying to maintain my grip made me lose my balance and teeter over prematurely. Somewhere on the way down I lost the furball and the next thing I knew I was on top of Ryoma staring him straight in the eyes. I froze for a few seconds as my brain tried to catch up with my predicament. To be fair he didn't try to move or push me off either and so we remained there for a good thirty seconds as I was sure that my heart had stopped altogether.

Only when I brought myself to look away did I come to my senses. I frantically jumped to my feet and turned away as my face became the darkest shade of red. The cause of the accident was a few feet away licking itself as if nothing had happened. It looked up for a brief moment, its tongue caught mid lick, before resuming its grooming. When I threw a quick glance over my shoulder I found that Ryoma had yet to still get to his feet and was sitting up blinking slowly. I quickly averted my gaze. Gathering my courage I turned around and offered a hand to help him up. I could only hope that I didn't look like a love-struck puppy dog as I smiled. He adjusted his hat and took my hand with a visible blush.

"Sorry I tried to catch you but you're heavier than I thought. "

I couldn't reply as the cat had hold of my tongue. As if sensing my predicament the tabby had come over and started rubbing it cheeks on my leg. Welcoming the distraction I knelt down to pet it and felt its soft fur run between my fingers. It purred in delight and continued to rub up against me as I stroked its luxurious coat.

"Looks like you have an admirer. " I didn't dare to speak so I nodded. However it wasn't long before my new friend abandoned me for Ryoma. Its tail flicked back and forth as it looked up at him and gave a meow. He leaned over and picked up the fluffy being and it purred heavily when he began to stroke it.

"Traitor." I mumbled under my breath even though I had a smile on my face. Ryoma held the feline tenderly and his countenance softened with every stroke of the cat's fur. My heart and soul melted from the utter cuteness.

"I wonder if this little guy has a home." He mused aloud.

"I don't think he does. He's too light for a cat his size" The tennis pro glanced at me in curiosity and I twirled my hair from the sudden attention.

"I'm a cat person." This seemed to placate him and I watched him mull over my answer.

"Well if he doesn't have a home then I think I will give him one." The cat seemed to purr louder in agreement and he readjusted its position in his arms before he directed his attention to me.

"Could you get my bag? I want to take this guy home before we get lunch." With how happy he was I wasn't going to risk shattering the moment so I grabbed both of our bags and followed him. He lived about five minutes away from the school and as we came to the porch I felt awkward again. He moved the cat to one arm so he could retrieve his keys and unlocked the door. When he opened it he released the cat to roam the halls before he turned to face me.

"You want to come in; I figure we could cool down before heading out for lunch."

"S-sure." I followed him into the entry hall and he flipped on the light switch.

"Feel free to leave the bags on the table." There was a small table at the end of the hallway before it opened up into the main bulk of the house. Carefully setting our bags down I watched him saunter off after the cat and I couldn't help but take in the new surroundings. Just from the outside I could tell it was a decent sized house, especially for one person. Well I guess one and a half now.

I cautiously removed my shoes and set them by the door before stepping into the next room. A brown leather couch was positioned in front of a flat screen TV in the center of the room, and I could only conclude that this was the Livingroom. I was tempted to sit but a nagging feeling in the back of my mind had me second guessing myself and I just stood there awkwardly glancing about the room. Ryoma returned with two bowls in his hand and set them down by the kitchen doorway for the new resident. With that accomplished he offered me a tour of the house which I gladly accepted. The first thing I noticed was that he had converted one of the two bedrooms into a study area of sorts complete with a desk and office chair. Another room was closed off and presumably unused by the dust on the doorknob. I had to admit that I was jealous with how much extra space he had in comparison to my tiny apartment. I couldn't hold it against him of course; he was pretty famous by this point.

"I was lucky enough to rent this place on the cheap while it was still available. If I had to guess I'd say your apartment is half the size for twice the price." He was right about the price point. I had to work overtime on Sundays just to be able to make it to practice and still afford rent, and that was on top of working late nights on school days.

All in all I was exhausted but after a while I just got used to the feeling of being perpetually tired. Plus it wasn't like I could move back in with my parents either. I mean they were on the other side of the country and I had to practically beg to move here. Having to crawl back to them would just be humiliating. So I could stand to be tired for the sake of my honor, besides I was genuinely happy I moved here. After all I had made a good friend and that was reason enough to keep me going through the tough times.

"You okay, I know you don't speak much but this is quiet even for you." We had finished the tour and had taken to sitting on the opposite ends of the couch in front of the TV. The cat had followed us around as if it was also taking the tour with us and eventually came to sit at my feet.

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking." The cat jumped up on my lap and curled into a ball to sleep. I smiled and scratched it between the ears.

"I guess he's switched sides again." I giggled and the cat turned over to get more comfortable.

"Hey Ryoma about earlier…." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Would you like a soda Saiyuri." He had already gotten up and left for the kitchen. I guess he didn't want to address it either.

"Orange if you have it." I yelled over the back of the couch. He came back out with two cans and tossed me one. For once in my life I caught it perfectly and popped it open. It was ice cold and I enjoyed the sensation of the burn as it glided down my throat. Normally I would prefer ice but sometimes it was refreshing even without it. This was one of those times.

"Steve." I diverted my attention to Ryoma who was staring intently at the feline from his reoccupied spot on the couch.

"A bit generic don't you think." I took a gulp of my soda.

"Hmm, well it was the first thing that came to mind."

"Well then how about Patches considering his fur pattern."

"And you called mine generic."

"Hey at least mine is actually based on an attribute." Our play fighting continued until we finally settled on a name. By this time the cat had woken up and I picked him up to get a good look at his face.

"King is a good name for him." I set him back down and he jumped off the couch to stretch after his nap.

"As long as he stays with me he'll certainly be treated like one." He leaned over and extended his hand. The feline seeing this immediately came over to rub against it. The smile that came to his face was pure, carefree, and something finally clicked in my brain.

I loved him; I loved Ryoma Hoshi the ultimate tennis pro. It felt like my world was simultaneously crumbling and reassembling itself in this new light, however, if it was for good or bad I couldn't tell yet.

"Let's go ahead and head out; the lunch rush should be over by now." I nodded mutely and picked up my bag on the way out as I tried to put my thoughts back in order. It had taken me six months to be able to speak around him normally and now I had this dumped into my lap. What was I going to do?

"Um." I stated without thinking. He stopped walking and turned to me partway.

"Are you finally going to tell me what you've been thinking about all day?" The candy bobbed up and down in his mouth and he gave me that closed eye smile that only he could pull off.

"Well I, you see, I sort of-"Neither my mouth nor my thoughts were cooperating with what I wanted to say so I ended up stumbling over my words.

"I just wanted-"He held up his hand to stop my rambling.

"There's no rush so tell me when you're ready." He turned back around and all I could think about was if I would ever be ready.


Lunch was nerve-racking to say the least. Every ounce of progress I had made to overcome my social anxiety seemed to implode into ruin ever since my revelation. Every sideways glance and smile would make me retreat further into my cocoon of insecurity. This feeling was new and uncertain and the unknown territory filled me with apprehension and doubt. Change was what I feared. Everything up to that point in my life had been constant with every decision being my own, but now….

I hadn't chosen this.

"Saiyuri?" I lifted my head and hoped that my swirling emotions weren't visible, but when our eyes locked I knew he had seen right through me. His brow knitted together and he removed the candy from his mouth in a sign of almost hurt. I could tell he was perturbed that I hadn't told him what was wrong, but how could I? He was the source of my internal conflict in the first place. Electricity sparked the air from then on and I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally left the restaurant.

"Have I done something to upset you?" He refused to look me in the eye.

"No it's not what you've done specifically." I prayed that wasn't too much of a hint.

"So it does involve me then." I could only nod as a wave of guilt washed over me. The last thing I wanted was for him to blame himself when it was my fault for not being able to confront my own feelings. Yet what else could I do? He deserved the truth at least even if I couldn't bring myself to tell him the actual cause of my problem.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong Saiyuri." He sighed.

I knew in my heart he was right, but I still hesitated. If I told him I could never take it back and the thought alone was enough to make my throat tighten.

Silence was our constant companion on the way to my apartment; a never-ending reminder of the decision weighing on my mind. When we climbed the stairs to my door you could cut the tension with a knife. I reached into my pocket for my keys fully intending on escaping inside my meager apartment before things could become any worse.

"Goodnight Ryo-"Before I could slide the key into the lock he forced himself in between me and the door and remained there unmoving. I was utterly dumbfounded at his actions; he was never this forward about getting what he wanted. Stubborn yes, but never had he been so direct in his methods. Had it been any time other than this I would be blushing like mad but right now I was annoyed.

Thoroughly annoyed.

"I'm tired could we please do this another time." Frustration bled into my tone but he didn't move from his spot. In fact he leaned more of his weight on the door.

"Ryoma!" Annoyance had led to anger and his indifference was only sending my tired mind into a frenzy. For a brief moment I considered shoving him to the side but thought better of it; he was probably stronger than me anyway. Instead I turned on my heel and huffed as I rested against the railing of the second floor.

There was no breeze tonight and I actually missed the cold air as it brushed against my skin. However with its absence I could hear crickets chirp from their hiding places nestled in the grass. The steady and melodic quality of it quickly melted my anger and replaced it with shame. I had yelled at my friend and he didn't even deserve it. The consequences of my actions flickered across my mind and I rested my forehead against my arms to block it out. I forced myself to focus on the metallic surface that I rested against. I relished how the cold metal bit into my arms and sent a shiver up my spine. Anything was better than thinking right now.

Before too long an audible sigh came from behind me, accompanied by the steady thump of footsteps when he came to rest on the railing beside me.

"I guess I should apologize, it was selfish of me to push you for answers when you are clearly torn yourself." He retrieved his package of candy cigarettes and popped a new one in his mouth.

"Is it really that obvious?" I twisted my head in my arms to look at him.

"Yeah sorry but I can read you like a book." I laughed slightly with bitterness tinging my voice and turned my head to look out from the balcony.

"If only that were true." The symphony of crickets grew louder and the moon shone down over their concert.

"What are you implying?" The intense stare on the side of my face made him impossible to ignore. Why couldn't I just keep my big mouth shut and quit while I was ahead?

"I-I wasn't implying anything." Of all the times to stutter my voice had to pick this exact moment.

"Quit dodging the subject and tell me." The intensity of his stare worsened by the second to the point where I could feel sweat trickle down the side of my face despite the cold against my skin.

"I don't want to." My voice cracked halfway though and his expression became instantly guilt ridden.

"Sorry I was pressing you for answers again." He pulled on his hat and looked away, chewing on his candy all the while.

"N-no I'm the one who should apologize I should be able to tell you but I can't, and I'm just scared." Admitting it seemed to alleviate some of the burden on my mind. Maybe I could tell him? He headed towards the stairs and a dark cloud seemed to follow him. It tugged at my heart and I finally made my decision.

"Ryoma." It was barely a whisper but he stopped and turned.

"You say something?" Now or never.

"I-I like you." It wasn't exactly what I wanted to say but it was good enough for now. He seemed to be frozen in time for a few seconds before he smiled and laughed. There was a deep timber in that laugh that eased all my concerns and lifted my spirits.

"Is that what's been on your mind? I figured you would have caught on by now but technically we've been dating for a while." He pointed at me with his candy. I could only look at my feet and try to blend into the floor. My face was threatening to melt completely. I felt like such an idiot.

"Oh." My embarrassment had complete control of my throat at this point and nothing but the smallest sounds were going to get past it.

"Anyway see ya on Monday Saiyuri." He turned the corner and trudged down the stairs. I was thankful that he had left me to my thoughts. Slowly I pulled the key from my pocket and unlocked the door.

I fully expected to wake up at some point to find myself in class with the teacher yelling at me about falling asleep. Yet time passed and my weary body begged me for rest. First things first though, I had work tomorrow and a shower was in order. I quickly threw my clothes off and jumped in the steaming hot shower. I rested my back against the tile and let the water wash over me without care. It took me twice as long to complete my routine but when I finally finished I turned off the water and reached for a towel. Now at least I could have a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning instead of having to drag myself out of bed for a shower. Hastily I slipped into my pajamas and collapsed onto the bed, I didn't even have enough strength to get under the covers. I fell asleep like that hopeful that tonight wasn't just my imagination.


Sorry about the long gap between updates. Its getting close to tech week for the musical we're performing and this is the time when teachers like to pile on the homework. On the bright side this is a longer chapter than usual (For me anyway) so I hope you enjoyed it. This chapter was a blast to write and I had a lot of fun with it. Anyway as always feedback is very welcome and I hope you have a fantastic day.

-MidnightMarchioness